r/ABCDesis • u/KindestBlackTemplar • 7h ago
COMMUNITY I am so fucking old bro
I met my second cousin and his family, for breakfast today, who stopped by a city near me on their way to go somewhere else.
He has two kids and one of them is like 12. I was talking to the 12 year old and she was listening to music. So her parents are from India, but she was born here, so there is a cultural disconnect there and she was complaining her parents don’t understand her music. I was like “hey give them a chance and explain it to them and they will” and I said it was the same for me growing up and what not.
Anyway I told her that they do care and was telling her how I got my dad to come with me to a Post Malone concert as a kid. She asked “who’s Post Malone”. And then when I was in shock, she searched him up and said “oh from back in your day uncle”.
Her parents were like “noooo, he’s not your uncle, he’s only 24, he’s an older brother, call him [insert word for older bro]”. But the damage was done. I played it off and laughed it off.
But I sat in that parking lot for like 10 mins bro. I am so fucking old. I knew it in my heart, and I feel it in my bones when I get back pain from sitting in a cubicle. I take a multi vitamin everyday and take melatonin and magnesium and go to bed before 11 PM on the weeknights cuz of work. I spend more time worrying about work and bills than I do thinking what I want to do.
It’s over guys. I am unc. I accept it. I told my dad about this and he was like “when I was your age I had left India” yadda yadda. Okay bro. Also, when my mom was 25 she gave birth to me. So thinking about this, I am old.
So if the average human lifespan for a guy is 75 years give or take, I am a third of the way through. I am basically 25, and it’s all downhill from 30, so it’s basically already over. I can already feel the grim reapers scythe around my neck guys, I have half a foot in the grave already.
All cuz Post Malone is outdated now. Smh.
Anyway if anyone needs wisdom, feel free to ask, I am at that age anyway apparently. Your uncle will help you.
43
49
u/rustbucket_enjoyer Canadian Indian 7h ago
Being unc is amazing actually. All kinds of rules that used to apply to you suddenly just don’t. People who you used to have to take seriously are now in the “I’ll think about it” category. They are powerless to stop you from buying that $40 All-Clad pizza cutter.
16
u/KindestBlackTemplar 7h ago
Going to buy a ninja creamy machine, no one’s stopping me from making this reckless purchase
4
u/ibarmy 6h ago
if you get that, you will be eating ice cream every night. Save yourself Uncle!
9
u/KindestBlackTemplar 6h ago
No beta, I will pray to god and he will save me from diabetes, it’s okay
13
u/Bl1ndMous3 6h ago
Oh pulllllease!!! I'm over 53. I run 3 days a week. Hit the gym the other 3 days. I ride an electric unicycle offroad, hit jumps etc. I used weigh 230lbs from all the chaawal. Its all in your head. Oh my hair is mostly gray.
13
u/Dingleton-Berryman 🇺🇸/🏴 6h ago
If Post Malone is old school, the stuff I was listening to at as an early teen - like Dead Prez - must be the equivalent of ragtime.
7
1
u/Nirgranth24 Indian American 3h ago
If Post Malone is old school, what does that make Dre, Naughty By Nature, Ice Cube, et al? Classical? LOL.
13
u/loopingit 3h ago
Your internet auntie here for a minute. Beta you are getting too old, it’s time to settle down.
Stop listening to Post Malone. It’s strictly Lata from here on out. Some exceptions for Kishore Kumar. That’s it. Time to act your age.
7
u/KindestBlackTemplar 3h ago
But I just wanna keep fucking ho’s and popping pillies and feeling like a rockstar 🥹🥹🥹
lyrics are from Rockstar by Post Malone in case anyone doesn’t get the reference, I don’t wanna come across like a weirdo lol
6
u/loopingit 2h ago
Looove that you thought I’m old enough to not know that 😂 (wait no-now I AM crying).
9
u/stronesthrowaweigh 6h ago
Your brain literally isn’t even done forming. Also it’s not downhill after 30 at all. It’s downhill after 40. It’s only downhill at 30 if you’re out of shape, in which case yeah it’s gonna get rough.
9
u/MumeiNoName 6h ago
You're gonna look back on yourself in a few years and think 'wow I was young'.
Just the way it is, oldest story of humankind.
11
u/kiwistarbaby 4h ago
It's awesome being unc, as long as you're not chopped. Some of us are both :(
10
u/KindestBlackTemplar 4h ago
I am chopped unc. I am chunc.
3
u/kiwistarbaby 4h ago
I am definitely chuncc. It's a miracle I don't have diabetes yet.
1
10
u/Aviyan 3h ago
I'm from the 50 Cent, Eminem, Nelly Furtado, Timbaland, etc. era. So Post Malone was when I was about 28-30. I didn't feel old until I had kids at 35. Twenty-four is still really really young. I'm 42 so and I feel old in some ways such as music and some of the TV shows but the rest is timeless.
2
u/Nirgranth24 Indian American 3h ago
As a bit older Gen X with college age kids, I guarantee you that your kids will be side eyeing your taste in music a little bit once they become teens. Sometimes I think my 18 year old son is just tolerating listening to Ice Cube and Dre in the car when I’m driving and if it was up to him, he would be listening to Tyler the Creator.
Kids these days, amirite?
shaking my head like a proper unc
27
u/tonalquestions2020 7h ago
Stfu bro. Lmao
20
u/KindestBlackTemplar 6h ago
That’s no way to talk to your elders
5
9
u/major-procrastinator 6h ago
Yeah I'm 26, and I don't really get this mind set. Post Malone is outdated for your cousin. Like why the hell would you care that you're outdated to a 12 year old? I mean my parents are in their 50s, and I don't consider them old.
8
u/JustAposter4567 6h ago
lol I’m 34 and went to 4 music festivals this year
Relax man life is what you make of it. Age is just a number buddy enjoy the one life you got.
5
u/marketpolls 6h ago
Do you have Costco card?
4
5
u/yeaaamon17 6h ago
It's not a race bro, Id say chill the f out- but I know our self worth is conditioned to this race. Race for who can get married, kids, ext first.
I felt that anxiety and how it affected my self worth the most in my 20s. In my early 30s, it's still there but not as much.
-2
u/Ok-Spinach-6529 6h ago
I mean…the societies that didn’t place a value on getting married and having kids died out bro. That’s why literally every society across the globe aside from modern western society emphasises marriage and children.
5
u/Critical_Cut_9905 5h ago
I don’t know where you live, but us uncles and aunties around here twice your age are still out there doing our thing. Hangovers be damned.
3
3
u/GimerStick 6h ago
i want to revisit this post when you hit thirty and your back starts aching all the time lmao
2
u/BigTanq 5h ago
It’s so jover, just turned 25 and lowkey having the same thoughts, cuz usually i was the youngest in every dynamic. But life also feels so… freeing right now. Like I wanna explore, try foods, meet every kind of person, etc. It feels like I can truly do whatever I want tho, and honestly that feeling is lit af! I wanna be a lit unc too! Like we can understand the older gen and younger gen, cuz we saw life without everything being tech everywhere, and grew up with tech too. Like in a way, we’ve got a really cool perspective on the world and humanity
2
2
u/Medicineandcars 4h ago
Mid/late twenties are better than teenage years, at least for a guy and probably girls too. Can’t change my mind
2
2
u/Schonathan 3h ago
Embrace it. Nothing wrong with accepting the onset of avuncular years.
I'm in my 40s and the other day I ran into my good friend and we walked home talking about chicken breast preparation and sous vides, and then I recognized the thrill of 40-something conversations. It is what it is, and I love it. At least I'm happy. 😊
2
u/Chemical_Law9251 2h ago
25!!! You are a child. Please know that these are just feelings and transient and not facts. Years are just as much about density of life and not just time, I’m 38 and my life since 25 has only expanded in the most beautiful ways - traveled solo to Europe for a month at 25, left my toxic family home, moved into my own place, got a job of my dreams at 27, got engaged and married, moved to Australia with the love of my life, then moved to Canada, found an even more dream job and just last year at a ripe 37 had a baby. So the last decade has been way more “living” than the decade before. And I am so excited (tired and exhausted with a baby for now) for the next decade - I am yet to learn how to drive properly, start a business, likely see it fail lol, so many lovely books and shows and songs i haven’t experienced. Trust me you’re life is just starting and your on the cusp on something huge I can just feel it
1
u/RollingKatamari 4h ago
Hah, that kid is going to have the same experiences years from now. We all have to go through the realisation that we aren't the youngest generation anymore. That the music, tv shows, video games...coming out isn't aimed at you anymore.
It's a good thing being an uncle, I love being a masi/foi! We get to choose how to be our own versions of uncles/aunties.
1
u/shooto_style British Bangladeshi 4h ago
Don't worry. When you mentioned post malone I felt old. I'm your unc!
1
u/born_in_92 4h ago
"I used to be with it, then they change what "it" was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you"
1
1
u/RealOzSultan Mixed Race 3h ago
It’s all beebadoodee and her ilk unless it’s one of the other like 400 new sub genres
1
u/Nirgranth24 Indian American 3h ago edited 3h ago
You’re still a kiddo. I’m a Gen X ABCD with two college age kids. They think my taste in music (Snoop, Dre, Tupac, ice Cube, Naughty by Nature, etc.) is a little too “unc” but they tolerate it and they say they come with me to Ice Cube concerts sometimes only out of familial duty. I’m assuming you probably feel the same LOL.
1
u/Live-Pangolin-7657 3h ago
I never was cool or always knew what was in. I felt old since i was young. I think you have to spend time with people of all ages and background. What you like is all that matters.
•
137
u/muted-gap-1979 7h ago
Well if you’re old, I’m the living dead at 50 so there’s that 🤷🏽♀️