“It’s only online bro”

“Go outside and touch grass bro”

I live somewhere where people are racist. A lot of people living in blue areas and enclaves have gotten complacent in their bubbles. This is America.

Arm up and practice 2A if you aren’t already. Only for defense.

And everyone, I mean every single one of you, better get ready to go to the polls and vote blue. 100% the dems don’t care about us, no question. They legit don’t give a fuck about us. But I would rather vote for someone who would not give a fuck about us than people who actively encourage an environment of hostility against us.

Come on people.

Let me get something out of the way first: parents physically or verbally abusing their children is WRONG, and I am not condoning it.

With that out of the way, here's my actual point: for the most part, strict Indian immigrant parenting values like traditional two-parent households, a strong emphasis on academics, discouraging bad behavior, and enforcing meaningful consequences has worked out well for many ABCDs.

If you look at the ABCDs you grew up with like friends from childhood, school, or college, you'll often find that they are:

• Well educated

• Financially independent

• Buying homes

• Getting married (and often throwing lavish - weddings while they're at it)

• Starting families

• Not involved in crime

• Rarely dying by suicide

• Rarely experiencing homelessness

• Less likely to struggle with drug addiction

• Among the least likely to have children out of wedlock or become single parents

Now, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of valid criticisms of Indian parenting. But I don't think you can deny that most Indian parents genuinely want what's best for their children and try to set them up for long-term success.

Again I'm not saying the parenting style is perfect. Looking at the outcomes as a whole, it's hard to argue it has been an outright failure.

JD said during a TPUSA show yesterday that he wants Usha to convert, although ultimately he recognizes she does have free will.

https://x.com/EricLDaugh/status/1983699198156403146

In the past, he's talked about how Usha inspired and encouraged him to find faith when he was agnostic. When he was questioning becoming Catholic, she supported him and helped him make the decision to become one. And now he wants her to give up her faith and become Catholic.

Another interesting aspect is what he said about her family. He described them as Hindu but not religious. But Usha herself has repeatedly talked about how deeply religious her parents, and especially her mother, are.

I feel like I'm gonna get hate for this but sifting through south asians on dating apps is so much work as an ABCD when most of the guys on there are fobs 😭😭😭 it's soooo tiring ugh I wish there was a way to add a filter where you can find people who grew up in the same country as you (no shade)

I’m not exaggerating when I say this.

Literally every single one of them are conservative (the fiscally conservative types obviously) who only care about the economy and have no interest in social issues.

My cousin grew up in Frisco (I grew up with him when he lived in my city so we are pretty close) and I asked him about the Tyler Oliviera documentary, thinking that maybe he would now understand what the right thinks of Indians. And you know what he said? He went “Oh yeah, he was a guy who wanted to find out more about the Frisco community”.

And this is basically all of my male cousins. Very much stick to their all brown friend groups, focus on internships and careers, and not care much about broader social issues at all. It’s been very discouraging.

Today I was scrolling through reels, and one of my old friends from high school, who is from Bangladesh, started using the racist gifs etc. I scrolled and saw his likes and comments, and he used the “allow me to explain your nations identity to you and how it includes me” gif and called UT the “p*j33t university” and talked about how Texas is being replaced by Indians in a comment.

This moron has a public profile and people saw his comment and went to his profile and obviously there were Indians/Indian-Americans calling him out, and he was racist to them, but there was this straight up Groyper dude who called him the same word(p*j33t) and this dude responded with how Bangladesh is not India, and how he was born and raised in America so he’s American. Yo, moron, they don’t give a fuck lol. He privated his profile shortly after the influx and then removed his pfp and made it his car.

Anyway, safe to say he is a former friend. Saw his page and likes and followers, he is fully Groyper now and reposts the America First Fuentes people.

There is a broader discussion though, I think a lot of South Asians are raised in their ethnic enclaves and don’t understand that to the average joe, we are all j33ts and terrorists whether you are Indian or whatever, Hindu or Muslim, etc, etc. I was raised in an enclave too, so I see people with this attitude, and now I live in bumfuck South Carolina where the sheriffs office in the next county over flies a Confederate flag above the American flag, sheriffs stop me “randomly”, etc. A lot of us could benefit from leaving our bubbles and seeing the diverse nation that America really is.

Also, since I mention the negatives, I gotta mention the positives. My best friends are Nepali and Pakistani and they’ve been my ride or die, and they stand up to Indian hate whenever they see it. My old boss was a Pakistani dude who took a chance on me, and he’s the reason I even have a career, even if this career brought me to this place lmao.

Just wish we had more unity folks!

It's a well established fact that this space has severe issues with infiltration from NRIs and mainlanders, and it has gotten to the point where many posts have become borderline unreadable. I've personally tried reporting users who've lied about their identity, harrassed women, spread bigotry etc and have seen no action taken against them. Something needs to change. This is the only real space for ABDs to talk about issues that directly impact us and our voices deserve to be prioritized. There are many subreddits who have put measures in place to curb brigading and we only stand to benefit by following their lead.

I think the best solution for improving the quality of discussions is to institute a mandatory flair policy for every single person who wants to post and comment here. The labels could be as simple as ABD, NRI, Mainlander etc or they could get more in depth to include additional identifiers like nationality. Either way it needs to be made very clear who is an ABD and who isn't. Anyone who gets caught lying about their identity should get hit with a permanent ban on the spot. Choosing a flair takes less than ten seconds and would make it easy to separate the people who want to participate in good faith from the bad actors.

I also think it's important to start restricting certain discussions to ABDs only. Any post that involves controversial issues such as religion, caste, misogyny etc gets immediately bombarded by nationalists with an axe to grind which renders the discussion pointless. We should be able to have honest conversations amongst ourselves without mud slinging and propaganda getting shoved down our throats.

The last idea is for this sub to autoban users who post or comment on certain toxic subreddits. It would be incredibly effective at stopping the crazies from getting in here, but deciding which subs to draw the line at may be difficult to ascertain.

Thats about all I got, I know that it is impossible to fully get rid of trolls but they can definitely be heavily curtailed with the right steps. I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts and ideas!

NOTE: The subreddit bans would specifically apply to South Asian subs that are notorious for harboring toxic, bigoted, nationalist user bases. 99% of ABDs have never visited these subs let alone participate in them. If an ABD somehow gets caught up in the bans they could file an appeal to be reinstated. The users of this subreddit could potentially vote on which communities to ban so everyone's voice is heard!

The amount of posts I've seen from popular desi pages in India hating on ABCDs based on what they wear at Coachella genuinely baffles me. It feels rooted in misogyny, classism, and honestly just mainland Indians finding whatever reason they can to look down on the diaspora.

Like... this is a rave, not an Ambani wedding. People can express themselves however they want. And for what it's worth, I thought the ABCD fits at Coachella this year were amazing.

Anyone else notice this pattern? Would love to hear thoughts from people who've been on the receiving end of it. I personally would love to wear some of the rave fits I saw from coachella.

Is it just me or has there been overtime more and more posts that just seem to...dog on our own? Like the wheelchairs one being upvoted massively, people trying to justify stereotypes and self hatred, the CONSTANT posting about arrests. Whats going on?

Now im not talking about the posts discussing valid cultural issues like misogyny, marriage, queer topics, education, independence etc. Nor the police discussing violence tpwards and within our communities.

I'm just seeing such a weird uptick in self hatred posts.

My cousins and their friends who came recently are way more into partying, tik tok bullshit, and drinking. The ones from before seem a lot more focused on getting an education, getting their shit done. Obviously they aren't monoliths but trends I noticed. What do you think?

Has anyone else noticed that this sub has become overrun with fobs and mainlanders. The amount of spammed posts I keep seeing about “Why do ABCDs hate fobs” “why is America/canada/whatever tf so racist? Is it hard to move there? What’s living there like?”

It’s either that or regional/mainland bs beef about languages or ethnic groups.

I’m chill with fobs generally but the point of this is sub is to get perspectives and takes from ABCDs NOT fobs or mainlanders. The ones that spam posts here try to act like ABCDs its cringe af

I been on this sub about a month and there's a post every week about some (usually online form) of racism towards Indians .

The only way to actually combat this sentiment is to link up with other active groups and champion their causes as well . There is power in unity and solidarity within all marginalized groups .

Help out your Latino brothers and sisters thwart ICE from entering your neighborhoods . Sign up to be a documenter . Advocate for LGBTQa rights in a time where Trump is trying to strip them . Call your congress men on relevant issues for poorer communities. Help out at your local homeless shelter . If you're actually tired of racism be tired of all kinds of racism not just the type aimed at your community .

I’m sooo proud of those students. I wanted to share coz I know we receive a lot of hate and discrimination as Indians but damn the youths are soo powerful. I love that that next generation of Indian kids are a lot more open minded. I hope in the years to come India can be a better place, a place where people care about the environment, where corruption is reduced, less poverty, less of a class/caste system.

I wanted to share this for some kind hopeful words.

I work with a wealthy Indian guy who’s a year younger than me and he’s friends with a bunch of other rich second gen Indians. All of them drop the N word constantly amongst each other. I don’t get why they think they’re cool saying it, they just look dumb as fuck. All of them talk about BMWs and Porsches that their parents paid for but they act like they worked hard for. They all say “type shit” and act 16 even though they’re all 23 years old. I’m very confused by the racist language mostly but they are very fucking annoying apart from that.

For me undoubtedly the number 1 would be Hispanic people. I grew up in a super Hispanic area. I used to even have a slight Spanglish accent growing up and used to speak Chicano slang lol, cuz my teachers did too. But yeah they were super and hella rude to me, and hated me and hated Desis and Muslims. I used to tell people Hispanics never liked us, but people used to never listen. Now with the rise of Fuentes and the Groyper movement, people are catching on thankfully. Even my Hispanic homies used to have to convince their parents I wasn’t a terrorist before inviting me for a sleepover lol. Now their parents are cool with me, but they’re still very racist against Desi people. But I don’t judge my homies by the actions of their parents cuz they stand up to their parents each time. I remember when even people like Vrillium and other actual white supremacists said they needed Hispanic people for numbers lol. But yeah, I have seen other Hispanic dudes I grew up with join Neo Nazi organizations and get swastikas and conquistador tattoos and spew absolute vitriol. But yeah I have only gotten into fights over race with Hispanic racists, cuz they used to try to attack me and my crew(I used to be friends with the black dudes cuz there were no other Desi people), and they had to shut down my high school for one to two days cuz of a full blown race war once.

Second gotta obviously be white people lol. But I also have a lot of white friends who aren’t. So yeah, especially where I live now in the bumfuck Deep South it’s noticeable. But they are less overt with it, and more just staring you down for now. But they are less Gen Z white dudes that are racist are the exact same as the rascist Hispanics I have run into, which kinda makes sense cuz they’re influences by the Latino majority Groyper movement as well.

And the third gotta be East Asians. It’s a very lowkey one, but usually its like I walk into Koreatown or Chinatown, and they’ll flip the store signs to closed as I try to go in, or hand me the check super early at their restaurants to get me to leave early lol.

Fourth gotta be other South Asians lol. I won’t get into this too much since everyone knows what I mean.

But going to end this by saying, I am fortunate enough to have friends from every race and try not to let encounters turn into judgements of an entire race just because someone was racist to me(though it’s damn hard sometimes lol).

What about you guys? Anyone got any experience.

Born and raised in Canada and grew up always supporting Canada on the world stage. This year for FIFA, however, I find myself not caring at all whether Canada wins.

I guess the “you’ll never be Canadian” comments have actually made me feel less so and I don’t feel the need to support a country where people secretly hate us. Doesn’t help that somebody made a video of a brown guy supporting Canada in one of the earlier games in Toronto and the comments were of course filled with hatred still.

Idk if it’s just me but I’m definitely not as patriotic as I used to be.

My immigrant dad definitely still is though and always talks about how Canada is the best and how much he loves Canada. Makes me sad because I don’t think Canada loves him the same way.

I’ve never seen this much racism directed towards Indian people online specifically.

all over any reddit, x, fb etc thread.

it’s really weird. it doesn’t bug me much though since my irl racism encounters are lower than ever.

but I’m just surprised I guess and curious wtf is driving it?

any ideas? I can’t really think of much.

Just something I’ve noticed — Bangladeshis are often referred to as “Bengalis,” which is mostly correct as 98% of Bangladesh is Bengali. But sometimes it gets confusing when someone says “an Indian and a Bengali,” and that Indian is also a Bengali. You then have two Bengalis, with the main difference being their nationality but only one of them gets recognized as Bengali. Bengalis actually make up the largest ethnic group in India.

I feel like Indian Bengalis sometimes get overlooked and the term “Bengali” is automatically associated with Bangladesh especially outside of the subcontinent. It's kind of like when people think of Indian Punjabis when they hear "Punjabi" and not Pakistani Punjabis. No disrespect to Bangladeshis at all, I have a few Indian Bengali friends who’ve brought this up, so I was curious what others think :)

They jump onto every thread man. I made a couple posts and one of them was about South Asian Unity and it got swarmed and stuff. I even got racist DMs(thankfully I click ignore lol).

I am not sure what they want from us. There are thousands of subreddits to discuss mainland stuff. Why do they insist on intruding our space and trying to police our thoughts and reactions when our lived experiences are vastly different?

My younger ABD cousin was telling my mom she hates being Indian and wants to marry out of the race and adopt kids to not pass her Indian blood on apparently wtf. What the fuck are our high schoolers going through rn, bullying seems to be that fucking bad. She also said she would marry a dude who already has non-Desi kids or some crazy shit. They’re bullied so bad they’re being made to hate their race and passing it on.

She’s like only 18, she shouldn’t be having these thoughts what the fuck happened. She should be excited for graduating and heading out of the house for school.

I’m Indian-American and my friend and I

were talking abt how at a glance it’s easy to tell whether someone grew up here or in India. My cousin who grew up in India and moved here a few years ago also said the same thing. I was wondering why we can simply look and someone and know. Also I’m not saying this in a hateful way, it just feels like there’s different vibes but we can’t rly pin point what it is so I wanted to ask on here

edit: i’ve also seen other ethnicities say the same thing they can tell when someone grew in their home country vs in the states so is there more to it ??

edit again: i’ve seen ppl do the same type of makeup styles, same outfits, and same hair but u can still tell tho

edit: i dont like using the word fob but i couldnt think of anything else short while making the post, i should’ve said someone from the mainland sorry yall 💔

update: lmao i ended up coming across a tiktok from 2024 talking abt the same thing (so weird i found it after i made this post 😭) TIKTOK LINK

This is controversial but do you guys think in our lifetimes India will develop into a nice, clean country where at least the majority of the country has good infrastructure, clean cities/nature, high civic sense, low pollution, safety and more “order”? I just think of chinese/korean diaspora (and tbh even Vietnamese/malaysian/SEAsia in general) who perhaps first came from poor countries but now go back to a homeland which is much nicer, cleaner and developed relatively? Do you think this will happen in our lifetimes with India? How long do you guys think it’ll take?

Growing up my parents never told me about caste. The first time I heard about it was in school when they were teaching us about Hinduism. My friends never mentioned it either, even though most of them are Indian.

However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve seen more and more news reports about people discriminating by caste in the USA. I’ve also seen Reddit posts talking about it. This is perplexing to me because I’ve never even thought about how caste affects me in my real life, even though the area I grew up in is majority Indian (Bay Area).

Do people actually care about caste or am I putting too much stock in social media?