AITA for telling my husband it is too expensive he to come home for Thanksgiving?

[u/Which-Guard8552]

My (28F) husband (28M) is temporarily relocated for work. He has been away from home since last spring, and will be gone until this spring. For some more context, we have 2 young kids (2 and 9 months).

Originally, he was approved for a week of PTO from the Tuesday before Thanksgiving to the Tuesday after. Unfortunately, my husband just got notice that he might only be able to get Thanksgiving day to the Sunday after off. We had always known that it would be a possibility that things could change like this, and my husband had said that if he couldn’t take the entire week, then he was not going to come home for Thanksgiving.

My husband was initially pretty positive about it, since he now has the time to take his entire holiday block leave in December (2.5 weeks). However, after talking with his brother, who basically berated him for not coming back, now he is saying he wants to come home for Thanksgiving as well. His brother made a comment about their dad getting older and told my husband he needs to be there and make an effort (which I thought was really shitty to say bc aside from this year, my husband out of all his siblings makes the most effort to spend time with his parents and be there). My husband is also a huge people pleaser, so I think this is also playing into it.

We looked at flights and they are just really not great… $600+ round-trip and he wouldn’t get in until mid afternoon on Thanksgiving earliest, then would have to leave mid morning on Sunday. He would also need to drive 8 hours round trip to the airport to make that flight. I was pretty hesitant and told my husband to think about whether or not it would be worth it to make the trip given how short it would be and how expensive it is. I also told him that I really didn’t like how his brother was inserting himself into our personal family decisions and pointed out that aside from this year, which is an extenuating circumstance, we had decided to do Thanksgiving with my family anyways, not his.

He got annoyed at me and said to stop being a Debbie Downer, to which I said that if he could find a flight for a reasonable price, ideally under $400 but no more than $500, to let me know and we can reconsider. He looked, and hasn’t been able to find anything, and he has since backed off on definitely wanting to come, but he is now saying it’s going to be a long weekend to be by himself. Emotionally, I feel for him and want him to be home, but logically, I just don’t think it makes sense.

Am I the asshole for being a Debbie Downer and not just letting him come home? It really pissed me off that his brother meddled, and I’m wondering if that is clouding my view of the situation.

ETA: we have been traveling to see my husband, including spending 3 months with him over the summer, and he has come home for 2 long weekends (4 days each) since he left. We are also going down for a week to see him at the beginning of November bc his work schedule is lighter then and flight prices are more reasonable