Hi everyone,

I am having a hard time and could use some encouragement or advice. I’m in my mid 40s and have been with my husband for 11 years. We’ve had a lot of challenges but I love him very much. I am bi but have never dated a woman before…probably just bc I was on the heteronormative train and never thought to get off it. My husband knows I’m bi and so does my mom. They’re loving and supportive. I’ve struggled more lately though with being in an heterosexual marriage. Part of it is marriage just gets routine as the years go on, it becomes commonplace and domestic. Also, ive struggled to make a deep emotional connection with him - he’s more quiet by nature and doesn’t seek the connection i do. I’ve put more energy into our sex life the past two years. We have sex at least once a week and I love that time with him. I am always satisfied. It’s when I feel closest to him and not “mom or dad”. But it’s pretty vanilla, although he is open to growing more sexually.

I enjoy sleeping with him and am attracted to him, but tbh I am much more attracted to women. And I’ve noticed that all the porn I watch is with women. Any of the male porn grosses me out. It’s made me wonder if I am a latent lesbian and just not in touch with it. Like wouldn’t I like male porn? The only time I ever really fantasize about men is my husband or maybe one or two people in college.

At the end of the day - I definitely have a strong female preference and it makes me wonder if I am suppressing my true self? It’s hard bc I don’t have any bi friends, and I live in a pretty up tight white community that makes me feel like a weirdo.

I’m just struggling with my identity and feel confused.

Would love some advice from married and seasoned bisexuals.

​

hiya! Im 18f, and ive never really been sure if im only into men. I know, definitely and unfortunately, that i am attracted to men, but when it comes to women im more confused.

I met this girl at a party today. She was tall, awkward, pretty, short haired, slightly androgynous, and super kind. I found it super cute that when she got nervous she'd go fully red and look away, and her laughter is musical and so nice to hear. She was really nice to me. And at a point in the night I was really hoping she'd kiss me. Not that ive ever kissed anyone before, or know how to kiss at all.

Im not sure if she was into me at all. She was complimenting me a lot as girls do at parties, and she was super sincere and nice and everything. I get butterflies thinking about her. Im not sure I like her though, but I dont know.

Any help with figuring out my sexuality, or how to navigate this would be appreciated.

(If it helps everyone, straight, gay, purple, all are so extremely surprised to find out im not a lesbian. Nobody as ever assumed me straight.)

Thanks guys!

I (30F) have a close friend (29F) I've known since school and I'm confused about her, and myself. I've only ever dated guys. I initiated some first moves with her. We made out when we were teenagers, she was my first kiss, I told her to kiss me during a movie, she put her hand on my face to turn me towards her and kissed me. I enjoyed it, a lot. I said if she was a guy I'd fuck her right now. Not sure why she had to be a guy to do that?? I remember blurting that out and being embarassed. we made out somemore until we eventually went to sleep. The next day I was embarassed, i didnt want to talk about it and she didnt bring it up, it was as if nothing happened.

Fast forward to now, after both of us having relationships with guys and we both have kids.
I mentioned our kiss recently, she was completely fine talking about it which was a relief and said it was wild and glad we can openly talk about it now. I couldnt gauge if she felt deeply about it or me, I guess my questions were not direct enough. She had a few more drinks, I was sober because I was driving. I drove to a remote area because neither of us wanted to go home yet and thats where she said she'd always felt sexual tension between us and felt like there was unfinished business, I couldnt believe what I was hearing but I immediately pulled her in for a kiss, we made out for a while then stopped, we spoke a bit but everything was a blur I cannot remember what was said (wish I could remember) then she wanted to make out again so we did for a while, I then took her home. She messaged the next day alot of laughing emojis and i replied with some back, she asked if I was ok I said yeah all good. The next few times I saw her she still gave really long hugs when saying bye and touchy feely, no change there but no more kissing.

The last time I saw her she admitted she has some feelings for me. I was shocked. She was sober so not the alcohol talking. I said the feeling isnt mutual (impulse reaction because I needed a minute) but i could tell that hurt her a little, i can tell shes a bit taken aback that I dont feel the same especially as I initiated some of this

my head is a mess. What am I supposed to do or feel. I do feel something but I couldnt get the words out to articulate how I feel and now feel like its too late