Every moment of our lives, we constantly make promises and commitments to the Lord and to ourselves:
————
“From now on, I will live with complete honesty.”
“Lord, starting today, I will truly live a righteous life.”
“Lord, I will never repeat the same sin ever again.”
———-
Yet, ironical as it is, that passionate determination to achieve holiness in front of God through our own strength and willpower is much like the sword Peter swung on the night Jesus was arrested.
That night, Peter proudly declared that he would never abandon his Master.
And when crisis struck, attempting to resolve the situation in his own strength, he drew his sword and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his ear.
However, that was not a faith of obedience to the Word. It was nothing more than human passion and self-righteous merit, driven by the thought,
“I will accomplish something no matter what.”
How did it end? In the courtyard of the high priest where his Master was taken, Peter denied Jesus three times, eventually even calling down curses.
Peter’s willpower to become a hero ended in utter betrayal and devastating despair.
We are no different from Peter. We live under the illusion that we are “pretty decent people,” “capable of achieving something,” or “better and more righteous than others.”
Yet, commitments built on our own strength and willpower crumble hopelessly before the harsh trials and temptations of this world.
Even the confident Peter eventually faced the cold truth amidst his repeated sins and limitations:
“Ah, I am an utterly helpless being who cannot save myself for even a single moment through my own strength.”
Realizing he had denied his Master just as Jesus had foretold, Peter went outside and wept bitterly upon hearing the rooster crow.
On that night, the “impressive self” who dreamed of earthly success and high positions beside Jesus—the self that believed it deserved better treatment than others—died. Painfully aware of his complete powerlessness, he returned to the shores of his old life as a fisherman.
Moses in Exodus was no different. Raised as an elite in the Egyptian royal court, Moses believed he was someone great and capable of saving his people through his own power.
However, his impulsive passion led to the sin of murder, and in an instant, he became a fugitive, forced to spend 40 years in the wilderness.
Only when his ego was thoroughly broken in that vast wilderness, lowering him to become the humblest person on earth, did God finally come to him.
In this way, God’s grace begins precisely at the place where our own willpower is broken and we reach complete despair.
The resurrected Jesus came to Peter, who was casting his nets again carrying the memories of failure.
He did not condemn or interrogate Peter over his past sins and mistakes; He simply placed food on the charcoal fire and poured out His warm grace.
At that moment, Peter did only one thing: he acknowledged his powerlessness and pride, and simply accepted the Lord’s love just as he was, shameless as he felt. He didn't seek out a volunteer position at an orphanage as penance, pledge a grand donation, or plan religious acts through weeks of fasting.
God says the exact same thing to us today. The Lord already knows our weaknesses, and He does not dig up or condemn our past and sins.
Therefore, lay yourself down before Him. Let go of the illusion that you are better or greater than others. Put down the sword of your own pride and willpower.
Abandon the spiritual pride that believes you can achieve or maintain legalistic holiness on your own. Human pride is the greatest obstacle that rejects the Lord’s grace and power.
Just as those who swing the sword fall by it, legalistic zeal that tries to achieve holiness through one’s own strength and willpower will only lead us to bitter failure.
True gospel does not rest upon our actions. It exists only within the single, complete victory that Jesus Christ accomplished once and for all on the cross.
Are you trapped in an endless cycle of despairing in inner darkness, re-committing yourself, and cursing the darkness once again?
When the light of the Lord’s grace and power shines, the darkness naturally disappears on its own.
When we cast away pride and comparison, fully acknowledge our complete helplessness, and seek only the Lord’s grace, God will finally rescue us from the old life of relying on ourselves.
In other words, it is not something we do; it is surrendering everything into the Lord’s hands.
And just as He restored Peter and Moses who had failed, He will ultimately transform us into a new life, powerfully used in the Lord’s hands.
———
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)