[Postgame Thread] Iowa Defeats Michigan 20-19

[u/CFB_Referee]

Box Score provided by ESPN

Team	1	2	3	4	T
Iowa	7	0	0	13	20
Michigan	7	3	3	6	19

[u/Khaldaan]

AN IOWA OFFENSE DRIVING THE FULL FIELD IN UNDER 2 MINUTES TO GET A WALK OFF TOUCHDOWN

WHAT IS GOING ON

[u/FrostTroll69 → u/Khaldaan]

All hail Iowa, king of the forward pass

[u/Gaudilocks → u/FrostTroll69]

I'll be buying some corn tonight in their honor.

[u/pizzayolo96 → u/Gaudilocks]

I'm filling up with E85!

My car normally takes unleaded but its for the hawks

[u/Whiteout- → u/pizzayolo96]

I’m sure your car will understand

[u/Inconceivable76 → u/Whiteout-]

Definitely won’t fuck his engine

[u/creynolds722 → u/Inconceivable76]

I bet he will

[u/boomeradf → u/creynolds722]

Iowa TOSU has been moved to a night game. You have been warned. We will either win or fight you after a full day of drinking and harassing Iowa State fan.

[u/cropguru357 → u/Inconceivable76]

It’s probably fine. /s

[u/LastKnownNormal → u/Gaudilocks]

Just make sure it's not that fake Nebraskan crap.

[u/snail-the-sage → u/LastKnownNormal]

How can I ensure that I purchase authentic Iowan corn?

[u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle → u/snail-the-sage]

You just buy it out of the back of a pickup truck at the intersection of a backroad an a highway like everyone else silly.

[u/BroadBrazosAvon95 → u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle]

I love how this is a universal constant in America, the only difference in what you buy is where you are in the country. In the south it’s either boiled peanuts or fruit. In the Midwest it’s corn. But every rural county has that one setup at a four way stop in the middle of nowhere that has the best food

[u/MoscowMitchMcKremIin → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

Hell there's a guy in my town that just sits at the entrance of the village to sell his home made honey

[u/ElkBusiness8446 → u/MoscowMitchMcKremIin]

In Ohio it's honey, eggs, and sometimes produce. Mostly honey and eggs.

[u/deepsouthsloth → u/ElkBusiness8446]

There's a guy right down the road from my neighborhood that has a handpainted sign permanently in his front yard that says local honey, yard eggs, collard greens, strawberries, watermelon, and beans. He has little planks to cover the ones that he's out of/out of season.

[u/Simping4Sumi → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

As someone who lives in Texas, I'm surprised you didn't mention Tamales.

[u/PiggStyTH → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

Midwest has watermelon and pumpkins too

[u/stups317 → u/PiggStyTH]

In Michigan you can get cherries during the summer.

[u/Schmidtty29 → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

And if you truly stretch the definitions. NYC has hot dogs.

[u/TrixieLurker → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

Eggs. So many of the small farms around me sell eggs. Many of the stands are unmanned, you just go up, put in a few bucks in and take the carton of eggs.

[u/SusannaG1 → u/TrixieLurker]

Here it's fruit, preserved fruit, boiled peanuts, and probably fireworks. (We have extremely liberal fireworks laws here in SC.)

[u/TrixieLurker → u/SusannaG1]

I feel you on the fireworks bit, they are legal here in Wisconsin and I live near the border with states where it is not legal, so in summer it be a booming business!

[u/Fritzkreig → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

We are definitely in corn country, on the Ohio and Wabash though watermelon grows great in the sandy soil and I am not sure which I would prefer to be honest‽

[u/Round-Asparagus5337 → u/BroadBrazosAvon95]

Central Valley in California is best for this.  

[u/ElDeguello66 → u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle]

Last time I did a transaction at a rural intersection the devil got my soul and all I got was this 12 inch pianist, not falling for that again

[u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle → u/ElDeguello66]

As long as they are good at tickling your ivories I think you did fine 

[u/FrenchFreedom888 → u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle]

I'm sorry, but if I buy corn out the back of a pickup truck at the intersection of a back road on a highway, that's going to be some Oklahoman goddamn corn

[u/Osiris32 → u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle]

But that gets me Willamette Valley corn!

[u/jmt85 → u/Marquee_Ditchwriggle]

Chino, Ca corn it is for me

[u/amaethwr_ → u/snail-the-sage]

Look for 'feed corn' from your local farm store. We don't grow the sweet stuff much here.

[u/OpeDefinitely → u/amaethwr_]

I don't think that very much Midwestern corn is actually consumed by humans, at least without being highly processed first.

Living in the middle of Indianapolis, I've only had the opportunity to grab corn right of the stalk during harvest about 4-5 times in my life. Not one of those times has it been remotely edible. Each time, the corn was clearly bound for feed, starch/corn syrup/ethanol, or some other bullshit.

Google says that Washington and Minnesota produce a lot of the sweet corn that we eat as straight-up corn.

[u/amaethwr_ → u/OpeDefinitely]

It's for the cars and the cows. We don't eat that shit.

[u/OpeDefinitely → u/amaethwr_]

yeah, plus corn starch/syrup. it's insane that we grow so much of it.

[u/amaethwr_ → u/OpeDefinitely]

Sometimes you gotta plow over one of the most beautiful places in the world and turn it into a giant cancer factory. Just one of those things.

[u/DickWhittingtonsCat → u/amaethwr_]

You know that’s right. I’m not sure the shit pre-glyphosate was a barrel of laughs either to be honest.

[u/Feisty-Life-6555 → u/OpeDefinitely]

Makes good explosives

[u/OpeDefinitely → u/Feisty-Life-6555]

great source of combustible hydrocarbons

[u/Feisty-Life-6555 → u/OpeDefinitely]

Now you've gotten to engineering-y for me. This is why I'm at Iowa and not ISU or Purdue

[u/rezzzzzzz → u/OpeDefinitely]

Plenty of sweet corn can be found across the state, dawg. Typically available mid summer.

Best grilled or cooked in the oven husks on. Mm mm mmm

[u/morgenstern_ → u/amaethwr_]

Or better yet, buy some ethanol

[u/OpeDefinitely → u/snail-the-sage]

Just buy gas. Has 10% ethanol in it. Because Iowa produces more ethanol than Nebraska, you're likely supporting Iowa more than Nebraska.

[u/Upstairs_Chemist1269 → u/snail-the-sage]

You dont want it

[u/delawless → u/snail-the-sage]

You can go to any Hy-Vee parking lot and get Knight's sweet corn...that's about as close to verification as you can get.

[u/DonParmesan1 → u/snail-the-sage]

Don’t let this swindler fool you. Most Iowan corn is for ethanol or animal feed

[u/AboynamedDOOMTRAIN → u/snail-the-sage]

Just find the nastiest tasting corn you can and you're probably in the right spot.

[u/Mtndrums → u/snail-the-sage]

Listen for the "Dueling Banjos" theme.

[u/OblivionGuardsman → u/LastKnownNormal]

99% of the corn grown in Iowa is field corn. We aren't even in the top 10 for production of sweet corn

[u/Bill3ffinMurray → u/LastKnownNormal]

Hey we beat our Michigan team too!

[u/LastKnownNormal → u/Bill3ffinMurray]

So proud of you lil bro!

[u/Bill3ffinMurray → u/LastKnownNormal]

Thanks!

[u/Hobo_Delta → u/LastKnownNormal]

I will buy all the Iowa corn when if you win next weekend

[u/xXSnipeGodKingXx → u/Gaudilocks]

Shiiieeeet we should buy corn futures

[u/elkman_23 → u/Gaudilocks]

Is it in Bourbon form?

[u/Forsaken-Cap-4273 → u/Gaudilocks]

🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

[u/Infinite_Box2098 → u/Forsaken-Cap-4273]

🕳️ 🕳️ 🕳️ 🕳️ 🕳️

[u/Alternative_Fig3456 → u/Gaudilocks]

That real, but still corny AF! 😆

[u/Burt_Mugurt → u/Gaudilocks]

I'm getting Casey's pizza and Firecracker corn from Hy-vee

[u/PiggStyTH → u/Gaudilocks]

Make sure its from Iowa. Lots of imposter corn out there

[u/feric51 → u/Gaudilocks]

Everclear?

[u/bigbluethunder → u/Gaudilocks]

Give us some future shares on corn harvests. Please. This is Kalshi, after all. 

[u/MaxPower91575 → u/Gaudilocks]

I listened to the Iowa broadcast on sattelite radio and I swear to god half the ads involved corn in some way. Not even hyperbole.

[u/frogstomp427 → u/Gaudilocks]

It is the full "Corn Moon" tonight.

[u/saganmypants → u/Gaudilocks]

Don't forget to chase it down with a handle of dirt cheap Hawkeye vodka!