r/CPTSD • u/Junior-Copy-6632 • 14d ago
Discussion Does anyone else feel safest bed rotting?
I had a week off work (PTO) and spent 80% of it lying in bed or sleeping for like 16 hours.
My bed is 100% my safe place. In the moment it feels amazing, but then after you realise how much time you have wasted doing literally nothing and now I feel disgusting and lazy. I have a lot of regret, but at the same time I don't want it to end. I am dreading going back to work, I just wanna stay hiding in my sheets.
I go back to work on Monday. When someone asks what I did with my time off, I think I am gonna have to make up a lie to not sound depressing or weird.
I have a history of doing this too, since childhood I remember being like this. I used to suffer with agoraphobia and thats when it was at its peak.
Anyway, I realised today I have spent majority of my life just rotting in my bed.
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u/chrstnthmsn 14d ago
I listen to The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast. The host said, “My bed is the closest thing I’ve had to a mother”.
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u/reluctant_hedgehog 14d ago
Wow. This hit me. Going to bed is my favorite time of day.
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u/ComprehensiveAd1337 14d ago
I agree and the only time I really feel safe and secure is when it’s bedtime.
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u/Alternative_Lime9761 14d ago
oh wow uff...this just made so any things click for me. Thanks for sharing
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u/tr0028 13d ago
Fucking love Paul! That podcast is something hella special
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u/fabulouscalamity in the emotional soup 13d ago
It’s super special. More than I have the words for right now.
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u/Soggy-Worry 10d ago
Fuck dude it was WAY too early for me to read this. Bed rotting is the closest I can get to actually shutting my brain off even though I can recognize that many times its counterproductive to my mental health. ESPECIALLY because I never saw my mom because she was up before me and would basically be in bed as soon as she got home so I’ve always wondered why I’m given to the same behavior since I know how much it bummed little Soggy out. Welp, thanks for putting it together for me…
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u/GloomyGal13 14d ago
I love bed rotting, and I'm 58.
It's my safe space. I like to read, to do puzzles and read some more in my bed.
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u/Bettehep 14d ago
I bed rot, then I wake up and couch rot and keep rotating between bed and couch until I go to sleep at night.
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u/Inevitable_Deer6101 14d ago
Resting and regulating your nervous system are not a waste of time, they're both necessary for survival 💖
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u/strawberry_thursday 14d ago
That’s true, but some people are freeze types that over-regulate by “bed rotting.” That’s what OP is saying their experience is.
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u/Calm_Motor3528 14d ago edited 14d ago
Yes, this! It is very important. I just learnt how good resting made me feel, just relaxing on my bed is a form of rest which helps my nervous system to be calm. I also learnt not to push myself to do things or chores, when I don’t feel like it. It took quite some time for me not to feel bad about resting.
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u/BT_01792 13d ago
Dont “push” yourself, “pace” yourself. Bed rester and recovering since Dec 2025.
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u/Substantial_Tell_300 12d ago
Yep. I had a mental breakdown in May. I rest as much as I can. I pace what I can do, and get help as much as possible.
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u/AnneLavelle 13d ago
Really needed this positive encouragement today. I have several papers due tomorrow and I can’t seem to get anything done. The Cornell case breaking this week and October being domestic abuse awareness month have me feeling raw and wide open.
I hate the word triggered, but that’s exactly how I’ve been walking around all week. Lying in bed and trying to escape into the fantasy world of a favorite book is all I’ve managed to do all day.
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u/knownotknow 14d ago
It takes soooo much energy to have a brain that has been alerted by C-PTSD, because it uses up a lot of resources when we're feeling hypervigilant! On top of that, it's natural for our sympathetic nervous system to shut down bodily functions to conserve energy when we don't feel safe. And what triggers that state of being for people with C-PTSD is usually things most people probably consider normal, daily experiences. So, with all that, sometimes staying in bed isn't a choice. It's survival.
The crappiest part is when my C-PTSD brain uses the voices of my abusers to berate me for just trying to survive. I so my best to remember that not every thought in my mind is a thought I would ever choose to have. Those thoughts that I do not want are intrusive. They were put there by other people (like my abusers, institutions, societal expectations, etc) through abuse. I claim only the thoughts I would choose to have.
One thought I try to remember when I'm stuck in bed is that my body needs much more rest to heal than seems normal sometimes. So staying in bed can be a form of self care.
I wish I could say I easily remember this on those days that I get stuck. Like everything, it takes practice.
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u/Junior-Copy-6632 14d ago
Thank you so much. You are so sweet 😭 I wish people in my real life were as understanding as the people in this sub💗
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u/Professional_Layer95 14d ago
I have the same experience. I am bed rotting right now. I feel the guilt too because when I have phases of bed rotting. I keep resolving a lot of thoughts in bed, separating the voices from my head takes time and then I get up when I am done resolving them.
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u/N0Treal 14d ago
Just chiming to say that i also do nothing a LOT. Sleep is my best coping mechanism and its a lot safer than other stuff i used to do.
When people ask me what i did over the weekend i just say very casually/cheerfully "oh not much! I had a quiet one, how about you?" and they never react like thats despressing or weird -- you frame it as good or normal and they will think the same
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u/kissmeimthai 14d ago
I think it’s great you’re self aware. But also, I do this too if that’s any consolidation. I think if you’ve never had a true comfort and have found that in your bed, that’s not a failure in itself. I think for sure finding other safe places that propel you forward would help. But it doesn’t mean that your bed as your method right now isn’t right or wrong. It’s just what you need. Maybe it’s a matter of trial and error to see what else helps you in these big moments. I hope you find what you need to get yourself through these big moments. I know it’s hard.
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u/Junior-Copy-6632 14d ago
I really appreciate this comment and advice. Thank you so much 💗😭
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u/kissmeimthai 14d ago
Of course. I’m going through it right now so I am glad I’ve felt like I’ve managed to help someone amongst the midst of it all. All the best 🤍
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u/Level-Author-2516 14d ago
I do the same thing with my PTO and weekends when I can. If anyone at work asks about my time off I just sell it differently. I say things like, "It was glorious, I turned off my alarms and didn't have to be anywhere by a set time. I slept in, caught up on some reading and really enjoyed some peace and quiet." I call it a much needed reset, reframe it into a positive thing if you can!!!
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u/SnooRegrets1386 14d ago
I just do the prayer hands against the side of my face ( sleeping gestures) and nobody has commented. They might be jealous
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u/LogicLedger 12d ago
Maybe if we all start doing this gesture we can recognize each other as fellow bed nesters/besters. Then again we are less likely to ask others what they ‘did’ on the weekend since we don’t want to be asked
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u/landminephoenix 14d ago
Yep, I hear you. All I want to do is bury myself in my phone in bed. Just cycling between books, tiktok, and Reddit. As a teenager I would be on the shared computer playing games for hours.
Escapism is so hard to break. It’s just one of the many reasons I’m starting therapy again.
I hope you can give yourself some grace and know that it’s part of the disorder. It’s not a character defect. I have to remind myself of this too, which does feel impossible to believe. So I get it if my words don’t help.
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u/Bettehep 14d ago
I feel the same way. My bed is my safe place and it's so confy. But sometimes not even the bed feels safe so I feel the need to cover my head with a blanket to feel protected. Watching tv doesn't feel like resting anymore, specially because I spend all my free time in front of the tv. When I'm too anxious I lay on the floor and pretend I'm dead and that's when I truly feel like I am resting.
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u/nomnombubbles 14d ago
The older that I get, the harder it seems to fully enjoy tv/movies now, because I already been using them for years to deal with my lonliness and other unmet needs.
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u/Concert_Lover 14d ago
I started using a fitted sheet as top sheet because it gives me that tucked in feel
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u/Bettehep 14d ago
I also use a giant pillow beside me and hug it all night
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u/Every_Lime_1063 13d ago
And behind my back if I’m on my side!
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u/serenamoeba 13d ago
Omg the behind the back pillow feeling when ur on ur side is top tier... makes me feel so supported
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u/Every_Lime_1063 13d ago
It’s not funny but it made me giggle - that last part. Same. My best and hardest naps are on the floor.
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u/CoolGovernment8732 13d ago
I hate that term, bed rotting
You needed to recharge, and you did that in a way that you know is proven to work. The fact that the bed is your safe place is not your fault. It’s just the cards you were dealt in life. At work, just say a half truth: ‘I didn’t do much, I mostly needed to rest and recharge’
We don’t owe people an explanation. Also honestly, the more we come to accept our needs as legitimate also helps with needing less constant rest. Seriously the constant internal strife and self-judgement is draining as hell. Radical self-acceptance is the only way I’ve found to start living on with my life.
Best of luck friend
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u/Substantial_Tell_300 12d ago
How old are you? I’m 49, and this is how I feel. But, it took age, and an actual mental breakdown, for me to get to radical acceptance.
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u/CoolGovernment8732 11d ago
33, but you are absolutely right. It takes time and the right conditions to come to realizations like these. Also, for me two mental breakdowns were absolutely necessary to arrive at these conclusions. Sadly I’m convinced that, as humans, breaking down is often a necessary part of learning essential life lessons
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u/Substantial_Tell_300 11d ago
I agree. Our brain can only take so much before it needs a total reset.
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u/Nice-Feeling2305 14d ago
well, this page makes me feel a lot less lonely. Bed is my favorite and a secret I don’t really share with people.
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u/Finalgirl2022 14d ago
Honestly. I've told my family countless times "oh sorry I missed your text/call but I was taking a nap" when I was actually still in bed after like 12 hours of sleep.
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u/Expensive-Bat-7138 14d ago
Unfortunately I am in such active flight mode/anxious that I am just learning to sit or recline and do nothing. In the past, I would feel very restless and uncomfortable - almost frantic. The one thing that helps me is to remind myself that resting is comforting and relaxing. It’s a lot of self-coaching.
I wonder if you are more in freeze mode and need to first make peace with the benefit of resting and then figure out how to time-limit resting with getting more comfortable with engaging and energizing. IDK- just thinking out loud.
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u/SnooRegrets1386 14d ago
It’s like I can’t screw up if I don’t do anything. I didn’t make any messes, no thrill shopping regrets, just a normal coma weekend.
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u/sbla0720 14d ago
i also do this but imo there are much more destructive/damaging ways to spending large amounts of free time. I don’t have the most robust social life- 3 actual friends and no SO. Also going outside is expensive. I make up fake plans to tell people so they don’t know i’m spending days on end alone in my studio apartment doomscrolling. I enjoy my alone time and bed rotting. Basically just saying you’re not alone.
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u/watermelon4487 14d ago
My entire weekends I'm either in bed or on the couch. Bed rotting either way. I also dread the "how was your weekend?" or "any weekend plans?" questions from coworkers.
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u/iwanttobeaninsect 14d ago
I’ve been rotting for like 15 years at least. But in reality you’re burnt out. It’s not rotting and it’s not laziness. I spent my life bracing/armoring, heart palpitations, hyper vigilance, night terrors every night, sleep paralysis, paralysis in general, learned helplessness, overexplaining especially to people who are committed to not understanding and more; as most here have known. It was over 30 years of that for me. I have a hard time accepting how severe my burnout is and how much time it actually may take maybe forever. So I’ve just recently surrendered to it. I’ve done work on myself for years since I was a child and I always hoped my mind would eventually accept that intrinsically I have worth. But I realized the pressure of healing myself made it harder for me to feel relaxed because I’m so lonely. But I’ve accepted it and decided to do the smallest baby steps so I can build towards a sustainable social life with a support system. Right now I don’t have one but I also know I won’t really have one until I don’t feel so desperate for one which tends to blind me. Just know ur not bed rotting you’re quite literally spent, cortisol for years infiltrating, head on swivel fear, and feeling like nothing you do will change your circumstances- it is much harder to unlearn this than it was to learn or than it is to learn that we all have agency. Once we learned as children or whenever that we couldn’t escape or change the circumstances that threatened us, it teaches you to not try at all because what’s the difference if you’re with unpredictable custodians.
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u/Substantial-Oil-7050 13d ago
Thank you very much for putting words to something I could never find words for. As a child being unable to change circumstances, leading to a kind of paralysis.🙏
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u/tiny-vampire cPTSD 14d ago
i actually wrote a poem about this at the tail end of a depression spiral that i was desperately clawing my way out of. i don’t usually share the stuff i write but i think maybe you guys will appreciate it. it’s called ‘oasis’.
come inside, shut the door
turn the lock
peace.
cool, clean wooden floors beneath socked feet
just-washed blankets, warm from the dryer
the air conditioning blows across my face
pajamas, on
headphones, on
big light, off
the warm twinkling glow of string lights
and the dancing colors of lava lamps
the coziness of a salt lamp glow
a gentle beam from the two computer screens
and colors, colors, colors
on glitter stickers, pastel scroll prints, vibrant posters
words of love on the white board, whispered comforts and affirmations
faint smokiness from the match used to light the beeswax candle
clean sheets, clean clothes
mint lip balm
lavender dusting powder
and a few chocolate candies
maybe a record is spinning
jeff buckley’s angelic trill
or just the sounds of the wasteland play
dean martin, guns reloading, exp cha-ching
benny saying to me ‘we can take vegas together’
every now and then, from behind the door, a cat meows
but that is all i hear
and nothing can hurt me here.
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u/nothinworsecanhappen 14d ago
Yes, I have a long morning commute taking my kids to two different schools. When I get home I usually take a bath/shower and curl up in my bed. I swear I feel so good when I curl up, it's unexplainable but I feel so safe. I set and alarm for like an hour and just cuddle myself. When the alarm goes off it's back to real life.
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u/euphoriaax 14d ago
For what it's worth, when people ask what I did, I just tell people "oh I enjoyed my rent/mortgage all weekend"
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u/CuriousPower80 14d ago
I spend a lot of time in bed. Along with CPTSD, I'm autistic and have PMDD, so everything combined leads to a lot of fatigue. Bed also feels like a safe space for me.
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u/geistblut 14d ago
My bed is my sanctuary in this world, the safest place for me. I do feel guilty for the fact I retire to my bed instead of the sofa after a long day but I've also resolved that it's what my nervous system needs.
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u/glittereagles 14d ago
I hate calling it this. Can we change the name to something more affirming, lol. But, yes!
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u/dancedancedance99 14d ago
Yes! Bed nesting…..err Besting lol.
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u/Ridicured 14d ago
I’ve always referred to cleaning items off my bed and making it as “tidying my nest”
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u/whereistheicecream 14d ago
Hurkle-durkling
I stay in bed as long as I can every single day, it's bliss
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u/birdieon ‘Just keep going, No feeling is final’ 14d ago
You’re not rotting, you are processing🙌✨Take all the time you need. This may even take a whole life time (mine definitely looks like it will be) and even then it wouldn’t be a waste of time. Because you are stopping the cycle. You are not causing another helpless person to suffer (I hope and trust). That’s it. That’s enough. Take a deep breath my friend, you’ve succeeded in life. (Psychotherapist here✌️)
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u/strongandsharp2 13d ago
Yes! I was bracing/armoring for the first 21 years of life. Then got married, raised kids, and had a profession as a teacher. I'm now retired for two years, and find myself finally having time to HEAL. I couch rot quite a bit. People keep asking me if I've found something to do in retirement. Learning to take deeper breaths, and trying to heal aren't really what they expect to hear. I felt guilty I wasn't "doing" more, but realized this is what my body needs right now.
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u/-Siptah 14d ago
Yes and it’s not even close. I make sure I get up eventually though. Leaving bed is one thing but leaving the house? Unless it’s something I planned days prior getting me to leave last minute isn’t happening. 2 days off from work isn’t close to being enough for me.
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u/SnooRegrets1386 14d ago
But the real test— do you change out of your jam jams? Or in my case, put something on when you eventually go foraging for Ben& Jerry?
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u/2quickdraw 14d ago
Why do that when I'm taking the Ben & Jerry's into the bed with me so I can eat in my nest?
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u/SnooRegrets1386 14d ago
Yes, but unless there’s a freezer in your room, there’s going to the kitchen to get it out of the freezer and grab a spoon. For me, I’m not getting dressed to go to the freezer
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u/2quickdraw 14d ago
That's what I thought I said, let me clarify: WHY would I get out of my pajamas to go to the kitchen?
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u/Different-Paint-3424 14d ago
I get up, go to work and come home and put my pajamas on and go lay in the bed. I’m glad I saw this thread because I feel better about doing this now. I also have C-PTSD. I’m 51 and have gotten to a point where I just want to be left alone.
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u/Substantial_Tell_300 12d ago
I’m 49, and after raising 3 kids, married for 20 years, and having my own mental health issues, I’d be ok living on an island by myself.
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u/timelapsesux 14d ago
My bed and sleeping are main coping strategies and places of safety for me too ❤️
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u/Livid_Car4941 14d ago
I’ve always been this way. Can totally relate! I don’t feel guilty anymore or disgusting. It’s wonderful to feel safe and warm and I don’t want to take it for granted. Toast to a nice bed 🥂
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u/AdDeep1251 14d ago
My bed is definitely my safe space..I once stayed in it for three months straight. Kind of sad saying that,but I just didn't want to deal with the world outside.
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u/anonymousfairyyyy 14d ago
I am a teacher and after an entire week of dealing with life, on the weekend I too just want to lay in bed and do nothing. I feel so guilty and like I should be working but these comments make me feel better 🩷
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u/Badger411 14d ago
I admire teachers a great deal, knowing that I would never be able to handle it. I almost got my teaching degree in the late 90s.
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u/anonymousfairyyyy 14d ago
It’s not an easy job at all but it can be rewarding at times. It’s very hard to manage being a teacher and cptsd because there are times where I feel very overwhelmed and triggered and there’s nothing I can do but get through the day so when I get home I feel like I can finally retreat into my shell and try to be at peace until the next day
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u/shadowtyping 14d ago
The bathroom is my safe space. Nobody would bother me in the bathroom from very young as a kid till early 20s. Sometimes I let the cold water run for a bit just to enjoy tuning out the sound of everyone and everything without fear of someone knocking and expecting me to open the door quickly. Even living alone, my bathroom was my safe space. I’m 33f and still let the water run cold for a bit and sit outside the tub on the rug or counter whether I was home, alone, or traveling for work so I can just take a moment to myself without doing anything or even showering just yet and knowing nobody can bug me bc it would be weird (now I just do it bc it’s been my safe space since prob 4th grade from what I remember).
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u/HawkEyeRoseThorn 13d ago
Besides my bed, my safe space is the bathroom floor.
But it feels a bit eerie too because I can’t consciously figure out why…. Like why. Why do I crawl into a corner and lock myself into the bathroom as soon as I get any type of anxiety? I’m starting to think maybe it’s what you’re saying. It is usually a safe space due to “physical natural needs”.
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u/libraprincess2002 14d ago
Yes but then it turns into isolating and if I also don’t go to the gym, I quite literally will not leave my house for weeks, I feel agoraphobic
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u/Dangerous-Ad-1925 14d ago
I'm in bed right now. Earlier I thought I should go for a walk and get some exercise but I'd felt quite emotional about things and just didn't want to so I got into bed and listened to some podcasts. I have to stop being harsh on myself and do what I want and need instead of what I think I should without feeling bad and guilty.
Bed is 100% my safe space. My cocoon. I love it.
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u/juddahinyou 13d ago
When I need to escape to my bed, I say I need to go cocoon.
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u/Dangerous-Ad-1925 13d ago
Yes. It's warm and safe and you can wrap yourself in the duvet and covers and escape from the outside world. It's not being lazy actually it's keeping yourself safe when you feel scared and vulnerable.
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u/littlest_lemon 14d ago
We are large terrestrial carnivorous mammals. Laying down and hanging out is literally written in our DNA. Do you know how much time lions and gorillas and elephants spend just straight up chillin?
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u/Bajadasaurus 14d ago
This!! It's who we are and should be. We've lost so much the further we've gotten from nature.
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u/Apart-Ad3804 14d ago
You don’t have to tell anyone anything, what you say is up to you. Your safe place being your bed is not unusual at all, lots of people feel this way, the only difference being that you’re brave enough to say it out loud
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u/UsernamesAre4Nerds 14d ago
I would like to add that if OP feels the need to share, a good way to reframe it if someone asks is "I spent my break catching up on rest." Rest means different things to different people, and no one sensible would fault you for resting on a break
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u/secondchoice1992 14d ago
I feel the same way. I work from home (bed) and bed rot almost every day. I realized it's not the healthiest though - I need to go out and talk to people as much as I don't want to.
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u/V0id_H0le 14d ago
Yeah. It’s always been my thing, along with sleeping my problems away.
But in the last year and a half, I have bed rotted so much, I’m started to reach the beginning of health issues :/
I have other mental diagnoses that contribute, and man, why did it have to be meeeeeeeed
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u/New-day-7126 14d ago
My experience is to trust what my intuition about what’s right for me to be doing. I always feel a lot of pressure to keep doing things. But the right thing for me is to listen to my heart. When I don’t and force myself to do what my brain is telling me to do - to do list, etc. - instead of just relaxing and rejuvenating not only is it incredibly draining but what I do just doesn’t go particularly well. When I’m deeply rested, things take so much less time, I make much better decisions about priorities and how to approach issues and I’m far more effective in interpersonal interactions. Relax. Be kind to yourself. Rejuvenate.
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u/reluctant_hedgehog 14d ago
This is me this very second. I spend every Saturday in bed since I stopped drinking last February. Some Sundays too. Today I’m hating myself for it. I did get up to let the dog out and eat some ice cream but then came right back to bed.
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u/PickleRicki 14d ago
Tell them you “did a lot of stuff at home, like a staycation.” I feel like most people get it.
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u/withbellson 14d ago
You had a staycation, if anyone asks.
When I was in my 20s I had no experience traveling (parents did not expose me to travel due to various mental illnesses of theirs) and the entire idea of doing that on my own was overwhelming. I never took vacation time, and when forced to take a week off because I'd maxed out my PTO, I would pretty much just hang around my house.
At this point I wish I'd spent more time wandering around when I was more free to do so (it's much harder with a kid) but back then, I wasn't ready. You should feel entirely entitled to do whatever your body and psyche need you to do to rejuvenate.
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u/Nyasha-Mercy 11d ago
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time”- my favourite childhood quote
Also, tell people at work you “rested”
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u/Immediate_Leg3304 14d ago
YES. i even made a post about it. when i'm not at work, i'm in bed.
however, on the weekends, i try my absolute best to "kick myself out of the house" and do something… i tell myself that it doesn't matter what it is. my goal is to just be outside of the house and walk. i don't put any pressure on myself to really accomplish anything other than being outside.
it's usually just driving around and shopping and eating at a restaurant that I like. there's a flea market that I like to walk around. i like to do a lot of wandering lol.
it's important to me that i don't just go out of the house only to work. i try my absolute best to go outside and breathe some fresh air, only if it's for a couple hours.
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u/Grouchy-Ant-7027 12d ago
One thing to remember, is that we need a lot more rest than the average person. Being constantly on high alert from years of trauma takes a ton of energy, so try not to feel guilty for curling up, decompressing and resting.
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u/addsbreak 10d ago
I also have suffered with agoraphobia in the past, which seemed to be the main beginning point to my comfort finding in lying in bed. That and a good source of escapism through media, books, daydreaming etc. I do at times frustrate myself with how much time resting I take, but if I at times do not allow myself to rest and stay in bed for extended periods then I have noticed it really does affect me emotionally and physically. I get sick very often and irritable and depressed. I am really my happiest and healthiest when I allow myself to really rest and find self comfort in bed to a maybe abnormal to others degree. I am lucky that I have found a partner who understands this need of mine and supports me to rest and even at times reminds me to go easy with myself. A good reframer at times is to tell myself that i experienced so much stress and trauma so early on that i have basically permanently reduced my physical limiters for any perceived stress now, and therefore I have to live a slower life that involves lots of rest in whatever way that my mind and body requires. Maybe like we have a kind of stress debt to repay in kindness to our younger self :) I am grateful to have a safe space now to lie and rest in, as this has not always been the case. Safe resting friend <3
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u/Pristine_Cow5623 8d ago
I’m happy my husband doesn’t shame me for bed rotting but finds ways to coax me out, like yummy food I have to get out of bed for or being like “let’s go to Costco, we can look at the cozy fall blankets they have”.
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u/Fun-Vermicelli2872 14d ago
After living with constant adrenaline during the work week, I always end up bedrotting in the weekends and only get up for my dog, and it is the best thing ever.
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u/kidviscous 14d ago
Buddy I’m doing it right now 🤙
The most I do on weekends is take my dog for a walk and prepare for the next workweek. At most, preparation looks like washing clothes and making lunch if I even have the energy and resources for it.
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u/Affectionate-Yam5049 14d ago
Same. My whole life my bed has been my safe space where I could read or sleep and be left alone. I consider sleep my freeze superpower! I slept for days during the pandemic. I can live in my bed. The shame is my biggest battle with giving myself grace. I feel you.
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u/eatacookieornot 14d ago
Embrace it. I wouldn't judge. Those are one of the best times..rest. It just makes so much sense.
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u/Fun-Helicopter8252 cPTSD 13d ago
Normalize healing in your own ways and rest is not laziness. You work you deserve rest. If you're constantly looking back wishing you did things differently then it's time to catch yourself doing it in the moment. It's self care regardless but if you're not happy with it then maybe make planned hobbies with others to hold you accountable?
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u/YummyPotaterTot 13d ago
To answer your question in a word... Yes.
I wish I could stay in bed forever. I feel guilty because I didn't get enough done, but everything is so overwhelming that I end up back here.
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u/Brightsidedown 14d ago
I've been like this since childhood, too. If I have any time off, I want to be in my room in bed.
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u/Expensive_Engine_488 8d ago
I wanted to share some tips that may help, or at least help me in a way. If you really can't get out of bed, but want to feel as if you did something productive take some hobby into your bed. For me it's sewing or reading. You don't have to read a whole book, you can go slowly maybe read a page. Just have something that feels less of just "not doing anything". Also if you have some stuff that you need to do (for example wash your clothes), I always try to pair that with something you can't skip (for me it's going to the toilet.) When I know I have to go I take some dirty clothes with me to put them in the bathroom. If you don't have energy to then put them in the washing machine, just leave them there and do that while you go to the toilet again. I don't know if this will help you personally, but it's something that makes me feel less like a failure.
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u/tazzi43 14d ago
I’m exactly the same. My bed is the only place I feel safe. It’s like my body doesn’t exist when I’m in bed and I can just be in peace. I often feel guilty knowing there’s all these amazing things I should be doing like travelling or learning a language or skill etc and I just want to be in bed.
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u/tiny-vampire cPTSD 14d ago
yes. i think that’s why i became agoraphobic for a few years. it was just so nice to be at home and in my room. i mean obviously it was a tough time with all the panic attacks & i missed leaving the house to go shopping & stuff, but my favorite place is still my bedroom. it’s the coziest, nicest place. 🩷
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u/dreamisle 14d ago
On the one hand, I relate to this and I think it’s ok from time to time. On the other hand, sometimes I wonder what’s the point of living if I’m splitting time between work and bed with very little else. Food for thought.
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u/AwkwardHippo1633 13d ago
I have to. I accept it. Sometimes I even close the door to make the space even safer. If it helps you to cope and to continue working then it’s just fine. I don’t judge myself for this. It’s just what you and I and many people need to do to survive life. Be good to yourself. You are very valuable as you are.
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u/CaliIsReallyNice 13d ago
Can you look for other places where you feel comfortable? Parks? Museums? Woods? Libraries? There are other cozy spaces that are a bit more open.
You don't need to lie. Unless you want to. Just say "I needed time to recharge, I vegged out and watched a lot of movies." Someone might say "nice, what movies?" Nothing to be ashamed of.
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u/Every-Apricot-9559 14d ago
I spend a whole days worth in bed only out to use the bathroom never anything else its shameful as a man but im wired to stay in my own box lol keeps me safe and I avoid being triggered outside of here
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u/ConflagWex 14d ago
As I child I would hang out in my bed most of the time because it wasn't exactly private but it was further away from everyone. Now that I live alone I hang out on the couch, so basically the same.
I have the same concerns, like regret for "wasting time". But part of my therapy is learning self-compassion so I'm working on that.
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u/PisceanTreasures 14d ago
I have multiple joint issues.... so it's a short walk from my bed to my comfortable safe space on the couch ☆
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u/timberlyfawnflowers 12d ago
I've been at it for 20 years. It's awful but apparently not awful enough for me to do anything about it. My blood pressure is suffering now. My left calf started aching a couple of weeks ago. It's a terrible life but yes, I do feel safest bed rotting.
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u/Traditional-Home430 12d ago
Yes. Currently all I want to do is sleep. I know I should work but I don’t have the desire to do anything except sleep. I’m trying to give myself time and space, and allow myself to rest but I also feel the guilt, the laziness etc however right now, I can’t force myself to do much else
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u/greendriscoll 12d ago
I only ever feel totally safe in mine or my boyfriend’s bed uninterrupted with my phone and teddies.
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u/Ambitious-Book-4876 14d ago
Reading this from my bed. Broadly speaking, life hasn't been easy for us and we deserve the rest. I also feel sometimes that I should do more, but my energy is limited thanks to everything I had to deal with all my life
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u/Iceyes33 14d ago
I’d like to rot in my Recliner. I do take one nap (1-2 H) in the afternoon. All day long I like to watch sports, Internet, movies, video games, etc. I do get up once an hour and do at least five minutes of cleaning or dishes. I have to force myself to do this or I would just never clean up after myself! It’s a very bad habit I know. I also like to cook yummy foods and desserts. I can do this for days and days and be happy. At least I think I’m happy?
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u/Western-Ad-2748 13d ago
When someone asks you can say that you prioritized resting and taking it easy. ✌️
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u/OwnCoffee614 13d ago
I do indeed love my bed. I could do with an upgrade, but until then I'll still love my bed. Like everyone has said, it's a safe place.
My favorite is to wash all my bedding like I did today, have a nice shower--also did, and then get in my still-warm sheets and blankets and flop. I laid in bed for as long as I could yesterday. I like a nice slow arising. 😂 It's worth the effort.
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u/PresentationIll2180 14d ago
Yeah I feel this but sometimes I want to go out, just tired of always doing so alone since no one likes me.
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u/DarkSparkandWeed Love is you 🌷 14d ago
Yes but its making me fat so now Im hitting the gym w less rott days
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u/DinoGoGrrr7 13d ago
It’s the safest feeling there is… I don’t get to do it though anymore, I have a 14yo ASD kiddo and a wild 4yo. One day…. Maybe.
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u/Spirited-Bake-9162 14d ago
I sleep for exactly eight hours every night. To actually sleep through day and night, in a dizzy state, without feeling any anxiety or other negative emotions I need to have a fever. So I really like fevers and hope to get one by not showering after walking in the rain for example.
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u/Evelyn_Landing 14d ago
I rot on my couch way too much. It’s actually the reason I’ve started EMDR. I’m wasting my life rotting on the couch watching tv.
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u/girlsparked 14d ago
i get it. 80% of my issue with that is executive function and my adhd meds override it thank god
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u/Euphemia_173 13d ago
I think you need to give yourself a lot more grace. One thing that changed my perspective entirely was realizing that although I have CPTSD and it largely effects every facet of my life especially in terms of freeze, I also have autism and autistic burnout is actually the reason i needed to stop functioning and would just have to lay in bed or take a lot of downtime and I feel a lot less guilty understanding that it was simply what my nervous system demanded at that time.
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u/Littleputti 14d ago
I’ve spent ten years in bed after a psychotic breakdown. I was an Ivy League academic before that happened