I aim to have all the necessary surgeries in the future, but for now, I'm neither old enough nor financially able. I'm extremely jealous of those born with this organ and I get this "why not me" feeling. It's incredibly bad and upsetting; I wish those days would come soon so I could have the surgery. It might sound ridiculous to you but it really upsets me. So, I just wanted to say, maybe someone among you has already had that surgery and has something to say about it, or do you have any suggestions? (I wrote that word like that to avoid getting a warning don't really care that.)

Made the mistake of being the only guy, + the only trans person, in an all cis bi women friend group. Never again.

They couldn’t tell I was trans till I told them, they had no problem gendering correctly before but “suddenly” slipped up multiple times closer to when I cut them all out.

They made fun of other “weirdo trans people” because they saw me as one of the “normal ones”.

They liked to parade their bi-ness around as a sign of being a minority. All of them had boyfriends and were not queer in any way, none of them would ever have to get hate crimed for being visibly queer nor trans. I don’t care if people are bi with a preference for the opposite gender, hell I’m bi myself, but I don’t want to hear about how you’re just as oppressed as a visibly queer person just for being bi and hella straight passing. They equated transphobia and homophobia as “basically” being the same thing, they often would straight up ignore/minimize blatant transphobia.

I couldn’t ever go to them about any personal problems/struggles I had with my gender and society, any attempt it was clearly over their heads, or they looked at me like I was almost delusional.

Being the only trans person you know, especially within your friend group, is one of the loneliest feelings.

If my future friend groups don’t have at least one or two other trans people besides myself, then I’m out.

Asking for general advice in navigating this period in my life..

I (FTM 21) feel extremely depressed about not being able to socially transition.

I live in The Baltics and people aren't supportive here especially to trans people. I luckily was able to start hormone replacement therapy but that alone took so much time and resources. My family ignores my coming out at 18 and don't even know ive started medically transitioning. I was forced to go back into the closet socially for uni and work, not that I wasn't fully out to begin with...

At said work place I have to listen to coworkers shit on trans people and gay people while I can't even say anything. I just fear I will be stuck like this forever. I don't have the finances to become financially independent and move away to somewhere safer so I'm just left stuck putting up a facade...

I don't have anyone that could or would support me transitioning and I fear if I do get my leagal documents changed I'd just be a joke to coworkers and family.

I am so sick and tired of the "man bad woman good" shit that I see in queer spaces. No I am not a goddamn "gender traitor" for being a guy. No I will not magically become an abuser when I get on T. No, I am not a confused girl who "became trans" to escape the patriarchy due to trauma. And that because of that, I need to be "guided" back into the joys of womanhood. If anything a good chunk of my trauma came from my inherent discomfort with being called a girl (though at the time I didn't really know I was trans). No, I don't like being malgendered. I don't like it when people try to attribute negative things to manhood and label me like that in the name of gender affirmation. Saying shit like "you look so much like a guy, I almost mistook you for a bigot" is abhorrent. It's not funny and it just makes me feel bad. I wish I could talk about my experiences as a "girl" growing up without people trying to pick it apart and "point out" which trauma is the "cause" of me being trans. Or that I'm clinging to my agab.

i feel like no one talks about how embarrassing and shameful it is to be trans. i hear a lot about how scary and hard it is, and i agree, it is, but i feel shame and embarrassment more than i do fear.

i used to love going out but now i feel like everyone is looking at me and knows what i am. and i feel so ashamed to be what i am. i know that no one is really looking at me like that but its just hard to really believe that.

I always feel this anxious and almost vomit-inducing sense of "fear" or I space out when I'm in public with anyone, even my family. even if I want to go somewhere I always say no or have to force myself to go.

I just don't want to be this and I hate that I am. idk if I sound stupid but I just feel...idk out of place?

This will probably be a bit jumbled.

Allies are the ones making me believe I'll never be considered a man. They claim to hate men, then will tell you "But not you!". Why not me ? Because I'm a particularly good person ? No, that would be too good. Because I'm trans. And I'm "transmasc" (I'm just a man), so I was AFAB and female socialized, and it's different because I'm a victim of misogyny, and... Ok, call me a woman. I wouldn't care if misandry was just misandry, not my problem, but it's misandry against cis men. Why against cis men and not trans men ? Bingo. Vagina. Because what are we more than vaginas ? Transphobes at least look at you and tell me "You're a confused woman". Allies will tell you "You're a man, you're valid !" but never treat you as a man.

I'm a scientist, so I've done test groups. Going into online and real spaces out as trans, stealth and letting them clock me or not. The results are formal : I get treated like I'm 10 years younger automatically when they know I'm trans... In LGBT spaces. They don't even treat women this way, just trans people ! Even had 1 more "she- I meant he !" which isn't significant, and one bazillion "they". They don't see binary trans men as men, because they see two genders "Cis men" and "Other". And I'll never be a cis man, so I'm in the "not a cis man" category... But it's not "woman"! Remember, we're progressive !

This has led me to not feel "proud" of being trans or anything. I get treated so differently that I have to hide being trans like a dirty secret. Legitimately cannot have a normal social life ever and anywhere. Since I'm mentally disabled, I automatically start relationships with a minus, except in disability positive spaces, that are also LGBT positive spaces and I'm back as a "non man but not a woman because I'm woke".

No idea if it's young people that are like that. Maybe it'll change. But I'm tired of it. Also tired that dysphoria has to be felt as a mild discomfort and not trigger feelings of strong rage or despair, and that you must be happy to be queer like in a sick happiness dictatorship, but that would make my post too long.

I'm closeted therefore not medically transitioning but it does help to wear stuff that is simple and comfortable for me and I get by most of the time as I even get called "sir" on few occasions by strangers.

I thought growing up as an ugly tomboyish girl and the trouble that comes with it would fade away over time specially after I realized who I rly was but I like men and they have never liked me in m whole life, not even when I had to present more feminine, I've only been liked by a few girls that think I am a sort of butch lesbian and that makes me feel this sudden overwhelming feeling of disgust with myself, remembering that to most I am an ugly girl. Ik it sounds contradictory, that I have even been liked and that I still feel ugly to the point I almost take it as an insult but I can't help it, it's like to most I am a type of masculine ugly girl that can only be liked by gay girls. It gets so bad when I'm reminded I'm more concerned by the possibility of a nose job than I am to top surgery I almost want to forget about this whole transgender thing and be able to do something about my ugly appearance, wear make up and feminine clothing and then maybe I'd be more respected, bc as an ugly girl I don't exist and I don't matter. But then I can't I feel sick again at the thought of wearing girly things and being a girl so I guess I'm just stuck.

I wanna know if anyone has felt this way and how do you manage or cope with it?