I’m going to preface this by saying I know I will never be a celebrity. I’m never going to be Angie Jolie or Jennifer Lawrence or anyone else. I am frankly not trying to be.

I just wanna buy a freaking dress. I want one dress that I can feel pretty in, more than just wearing my more masc clothing does. I’ve always been masc leaning, but I want to be femme and I’m both so tired of crossing that line in a way that looks terrible and clumsy and I’m tied at the wrist by every possible thing that can.

I know Im tall. I know God blessed and cursed me with being 6’ and I fucking hate it. I can’t buy heels without looking like a titan, so I haven’t tried. Even if I wanted to, being this tall means my shoe size is outside most designer’s considerations anyways.

But goddamn does being tall mean I have to pay out the ass for a good looking dress too?? I don’t even know if I’m going to like it, but the places near me do not stock in sizes I can try on. I’ve thought about buying online and returning what I don’t like, but that’s only till an online retailer goes “hmm no we don’t want this” and then if I hate it i’m stuck with it.

It’s the same with makeup. My birth mom never taught me how to do it, and as much as i love my adoptive mother i was adopted late enough that I don’t feel comfortable asking her to sit with me several afternoons so I can learn.

And just good gods my shoulders. I’m built like a linebacker and I fucking hate it. Why couldn’t God have made me at least tall and gangly? at least then I’d not have to worry about a dress that fits my bust AND my waist, and not the scores of dresses that only fit one or the other.

idk. rant over atp, or else I’ll ramble forever. Dinner of homemade charcuterie from various crackers, white cheddar and gouda, pepperoni, and red grapes. Additionally Barefoot brand peach moscato cuz for being a budget wine it’s good and I’ll die on that hill.

dinner is hospital food - roast chicken with green beans, mashed potatoes, & gravy. was actually very yummy, the nutrition dept here is fantastic!!
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TW for discussion of injury (burn/blisters, NO blood/broken bones/etc)
—
TLDR; a millisecond innocent oopsie fucked me up. i spilled some dip, got a full depth 2nd degree burn on my dominant hand, ended up staying at the hospital for 2 weeks, & needed 2 surgeries including a skin graft from my hip.
—
2 weeks ago, during movie night with my friends, i was heating up some trader joe’s spinach & artichoke dip. it was my first time trying it. as i pulled it out of the microwave, it slipped.

about half the container of boiling hot dip poured all over the back & parts of the front of my right (dominant) hand. it was the worst pain i’d ever experienced!!!!! omfg. (little did i know, it’d get worse.)

still, i didn’t realize how bad the burn was. we just dressed my hand up with some burn bandages & gauze, ate what was left of the dip (it was good, btw!) & finished our night as normal. i had some tylenol & a beer for the pain. it was blistering bigger than i’d ever seen but not crazy when i went to bed.

the next morning, my whole entire hand & parts of my forearm were covered in the hugest blisters i’d ever seen. like, i didn’t even know it was possible. the biggest was on the back of my hand, about the size of a water balloon, & it burst - it was SO much fluid that it could’ve passed as a piss lol. i could barely move my hand.

my roomie/bestie took me to urgent care. they turned me away. i went to the ER. they said i needed a specialty burn unit. i was transported by ambulance to a trauma 1 hospital (the best in miles & miles).

kinda gross - they gave me a ton of IV pain meds but i was awake. then they literally YANKED & peeled all the blisters off. my whole hand, skinned, right before my eyes.

even after all that, i was shocked when they said they’d keep me overnight. i just figured the “special” doctors had already left for the day since it was later on a friday.

turns out i had a full depth 2nd degree burn. that overnight stay turned into a 2 week hospital stay and 2 surgeries - debridement of a ton of dead skin & an allograft (cadaver skin over the affected area because my skin was so damaged, it needed a temporary graft to encourage the wound bed to heal up some so it could actually take a real graft) on the whole back of my hand/part of my forearm then an autograft (skin graft from somewhere else on my body). i was especially sad about the autograft because it meant a second injury & further scarring. i actually boohoo sobbed about it. plus all of it hurt so much!!! i have a really high pain tolerance. i didn’t even outwardly react to the initial burn, but i cried like a baby after both surgeries.

it was my first time in a hospital (& the longest stay that anyone i or my loved ones know). first ever surgery (well, surgeries!). first time in an ambulance.

kinda gross - i’m missing a huge chunk of skin on my right thigh. my right hand looks so freaky & gory - they took a VERY thin layer of skin, so you can see everything underneath, & then the sutures ofc. i’ll need ongoing follow-up care - 1st appt is next week. i can’t shower like normal because i can’t get my right hand or thigh/hip wet. i’ll definitely have scarring. both my hand & donor site hurt. walking & sitting down is weird because the donor site is basically right on my hip joint. i’m still working on regaining full ROM in my right hand, which sucks because i love to draw & write, & i need my hand for my job/school. everything in my life has been thrown off during a pivotal part of my education (i’m in my final semester of my B.S. before i do my internship & graduate). plus i found out i probably have early onset hypertension despite being young & in great physical health.

also, i just aged out of my mom’s health insurance a couple months ago when i turned 26. i was approved for the hospital’s charity care program cuz i’m broke af, but the bill is easily gonna be $20k+ & the charity care isn’t guaranteed to cover 100%.

luckily i have a good support system; i love love LOVE my friends & family!!!!! and my job/profs have been understanding. but still holy shit this SUCKS!!!! all because of microwaved dip??? wtf.

anyways, take this as a cautionary tale i guess, lol. and FML.

I‘m enjoying my day listening to beautiful relaxing music, deep cleaned the bathroom not to prepare for a guest, but because I deserve it, and I’m about to wash my hair. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life we take for granted that I am expressing gratitude for today. You all have a blessed Sabbath! Shabott Shalom. 🕊️

Charcoochie board: Antipasto, mature Cheddar cheese, port salut, circumcised sorry, I mean peeled Gouda. Ehh the crackers are an array of cream crackers, table crackers, cornish waffers, cheddar, water biscuits, digestive biscuits and salt and balck pepper bakes carltons.

So I'm lactose intolerant and I dont think lactase will save me this time dawg. This may have triggered a migraine, but I'll see how that goes haha. Today is a great day. I tried a new cheese, and it was rubbish. It smelled like old feet and was just nto my jam. But today I tried something new, even if the Old Amsterdamn cheese didnt make it on the plate.

Sandwich is from my bodega, hash brown, egg and cheese on a roll.

My ex-best friend stopped talking to me 3 years ago out of nowhere. To this day I don’t know why. One day we were talking about getting together, the next radio silence. She was my best friend. We met in college and were with each other for everything. When my grandmother died and I didn’t have a black dress to wear to the funeral, she let me wear one of hers. When she got a role in a play I helped her run lines for hours until she had them memorized before rehearsals even started. We went to see shows together, celebrated each other’s successes and were with each other through sadness and disappointment. I thought she would be a bridesmaid at my wedding someday.

Today on reels I saw something about a vocal stim and it reminded me of something we overheard one day at school and would repeat to each other often as a joke and it made me miss her knowing that that joke died with our friendship. I made the bad decision to try and look her up and I found out she wrote and directed a play back in July, and I wish I could tell her how I’m still proud of her. Part of me wishes I had known about the play because I would’ve liked to go see it, but another part of me knows she probably wouldn’t have liked it if I had shown up there.

I just keep wondering what I did wrong? What could I have done to be a better friend? Why did she suddenly ghost me? I’ve tried to be ok with not knowing and accepting that whatever it was she probably did for her own wellbeing, but I still miss her. If she texted me tomorrow explaining what happened I would still want to be friends again. She hasn’t blocked me on anything, but she never really used social media anyway.

If I text her she just doesn’t respond, but it’ll mark as delivered. I know I’m stupid and desperate for hoping that after 3 years she might still think about me, but in my head she’s still my friend.

The man I’m into (a close guy friend of mine) always says we should run away together somewhere far where no one else is. Or he would give me a rock for us to match and keep. He tells me we’re just friends for sure but I always read that as something romantic. He usually says this when a guy shows interest in me or when we’re both stressed. Am I wrong for thinking it was romantic?

In the span of this past week alone, I dealt with a man I broke up with not long ago moving on with a new girl a week later (like thanks for making me feel so easily replaceable as if what we had meant nothing to you??), getting rejected from a med school I interviewed at, and then getting sick out of nowhere a day before an interview I had for my dream school. I live alone too, so I don’t have anyone to just help me out when I’m sick.

But then I remembered I’m a strong independent woman, so I took action. I bought myself everything I needed to soothe my throat and feel better, took care of myself, and stayed strong throughout the day of my interview. Carrying a lot of emotional weight while being sick right before one of the most important interviews of my life felt tough, but now I’m so happy because that interview still went amazingly and now I can just relax.

If there’s anything I want to take away from this past week, it’s that I’m so proud of myself for not letting a ton of shitty things and feelings stop me from getting and doing what I want. And I really believe this strength and resiliency will carry me throughout my future in the medical field. This feels like a win to me!

Now I get to just relax, sleep, watch TV, and eat some good ice cream!

Having some comfort food dinner tonight - bibimbap and kimchi stew.

I thought my friend and I will be besties for life but we aren't speaking anymore. I'm feeling lonely and alone in this so wondering how to get through it. Honestly, it feels like (or maybe even worse) than a break up. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?

If anyone is wondering, here is the backstory: My bestie (28F) and I (32F) have been besties for 10 years. We were always there for each other - uni stress, dating, her moving abroad and coming back home - unhappy experience, me moving abroad for a year and then also returning home - happy experience (this is relevant later on), celebrating our first jobs, crying together when her parent passed away - we did it all, kept no secrets, were able to talk about everything with no judgement. In these 10 years we didn't have a single fight until this June 2026 when I had a 2 day crash out over a guy – he invited me with him to Japan, we had an entire trip planned, paid and booked but while being long distance for 2 months his replies started getting slower and I started spiraling. My bf advised that I should confess my feelings but I was too stubborn and proud for that. Our fight started when I sent her some type of »guys who ghost are douchebags« reel and she sent back a message stating that she is sick of giving me advice I never follow through, and that ever since I returned from my life abroad she doesn't understand me or my lifestyle anymore (she wants a husband, kids yet is single and stressing about her age and wanting to be a young mom; I don't). I was really hurt by her stating that »I need to start acting like an adult.« Because here I am, living in my own apartment, paying my bills and taxes on time, having a steady job that makes me happy… Why is having a 48h crash out over a guy defining me as somehow less of an adult? I then made a mistake of replying in anger instead of taking the time to think things through. I basically shot back that I'm very upset that she can't listen to me while I've been listening to her unrequieted obsession with her coworker for the past 2 years and even though that guy doesn't even bother to say hi to her, I always listened when she needed to vent about why he always parks his car next to her car on an empty parking lot. She then played the victim card and replied with »Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know how difficult it's been listening to my problems, I just won't tell you anything anymore.« She also said that her coworker case is different because she was trying to figure out his »behaviour«. To which I replied that I'm trying to figure out the same thing since I invested A LOT of money into a Japan trip I'm now not even sure will happen. I also made it clear that I was always ready to listen to her and always will gladly be there for her so I don't understand why she can't be here for me. A long story short: we haven't spoken the entire summer so I texted her end of August, apologizing for what I said in anger and asked her if she'd be willing to go out for coffee to talk things out. She said yes but doesn't want to talk about the fight because she has »emotionally processed it and moved on.« We met up and spent 2 hours talking about our summer, work and just brushed up on the Japan guy/her coworker topic. I left feeling slightly better and hopeful our friendship could in time get back to normal. I decided I'll wait for her to make the next move because it was hard for me to ignore the fact that I was the only one to apologise for my behaviour and words. It's been a month since we've seen each other and during this time no contact from her so I'm assuming the friendship is over. On one hand I know I did all I could. I reached out, tried talking it out, I apologised and explained my thoughts and less importantly but still, I remembered her birthday even though she ignored mine, I gave her a birthday present when we met, paid for the coffee etc. But still it's hard for me to believe that after 1 fight we just won't ever speak again. It makes me wonder if things have been building up prior to this fight that I either didn't notice or wanted to acknowledge.

There is a library that’s a 2 to 3 minute car ride ( or bus ride in my case) from my house and I went there this morning and right next to it is a small plaza of restaurants and nail salons and etc so I decided to try a random restaurant today and it was just so small and cozy and now I’m in a good mood cause I did something different today 😊

Tres leches cake <3

Hello! I'm feeling frustrated with my job and need advice. I'm in a southern state. I've been job searching, and picked up a part time tutoring job at a learning center while I still look for full time jobs in my field.

The boss told me he would schedule me for a small number of classes first, and then increase them gradually. Each class is one hour and with 1-3 students. My regular hours per week have been between 10-12, which is still really low for me but when I ask to work more hours my texts go ignored (the other ones don't though).

Last week was fall break, so alot of the kids went on vacation and didn't come. I was scheduled 6 hours and I thought it was because the kids weren't coming, but when I went in two days that week, my regular kids were with another tutor so he just wasn't giving me hours. I got my schedule for next week today and I'm only scheduled 4 hours.

It's also worth mentioning that he only pays us for the exact hours we're scheduled. He asks us to come in 5-10 minutes early, but we don't get paid for that time. He's asked me to open before too, and I didn't get paid for those extra minutes either. I've stayed late too if a kid's parent didn't come on time. The time sheet to clock in and out is also off by 30 minutes which I thought was weird.

I'm pretty sure he's reducing my hours and made me give my keys to another employee (he said it was because he needed extra keys) is to make me quit on my own.

I've been a good worker, so I don't really know what's going on. He hired a lot of new tutors, and I think he's paying them less than me so he wants me to quit. Other than that, I did start coming in exactly on time some days (not early) and he asked me to come early twice.

There was also an issue with leaving the center unlocked all night, but I had double checked the locks and it wasn't my responsibility to do so (the girl whose it was left without doing it, and I hadn't done it before and he wasn't there).

What should I do? I texted him to ask why my hours have been being reduced (but he didn't respond).

I'm highly considering putting in my 2 weeks even if I don't have another job lined up.

I have Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes T1 with heart/kidney/polyneuropathy complications, Epilepsy and questioning Endometriosis, along with other gynecological stuff.

It's all permanent, it never ends.

I don't do well at managing Diabetes at all. I am sick and tired of the injections. Of counting. Of everything about it. I gave up on counting. Food is a nightmare. I have been in DKA too many times to count. I feel like I'm so close again. I can never explain enough why I can't handle it, when so many people can. It's all torture. I want it to stop.

Multiple Sclerosis has stolen everything from me. I watched my father decline with it all my life, only to get it myself, too. Parents knew about my diagnosis but told me my symptoms were just anxiety. I could have started treatment way earlier. Had they just told me. It took my job. Then it took everything else, too.

Epilepsy hasn't been bothering me lately. But it sure as hell has put me through a nightmare, too.

I am out of breath for the most part of the day, if I try to do something. I usually have to lie down a specific way. My chest hurts all the time lately. It's very uncomfortable to sit down and I have no idea why. Turning my head around triggers nausea. It's been a big issue outside.

I try cutting a tomato and my hands aren't like hands anymore. I can just walk around 200 metres. I feel like my legs are being cut above my knees. I don't know if I'll make it back. I don't feel my hand. What am I even touching?

Gastrointestinal issues are exhausting. It must be nerve damage. Peeing triggers pain. There's stabbing pain in too many places.

I am useless. A burden.

I am isolated. I only talk to my mother and I wish I didn't. It's not what it should have been. I am unable to leave my parents' place.

I don't have anything to offer.

I am exhausted.

I've been hospitalized too many times to count. Now I go to the hospital for a monthly treatment but it has its own procedure, preparation tests and mess.

It leaves me even more exhausted for a week. Doctor doesn't listen. He usually doesn't. When I went blind from one eye and couldn't speak, he just texted to go to a psychiatrist.

And then, the gynecological stuff begin. Again. And I suffer for 2 weeks. I need so many painkillers, they don't work for long. Don't get me started on gynecologists.

All this just... drains everything out of me. They do not understand. They only yell and scream at me.

The fact that there's nothing good in-between somewhere, and nothing to wait for, is the last blow. It's all for nothing.

I cannot cry. There's just this pressure in my head, like it'll explode, but there are no tears.

I don't want to brush my hair, I don't want to shower or to even change clothes, I don't want to be seen.

My dad died several days ago and not one of my friends or spouse’s family members reached out. My spouse texted his family and our friends the news and they said that they were sorry (to him) but no one reached out to me directly. Is this normal? I am really sad and thinking of taking a step back from my so called friends and family members. I am overreacting?

Salmon soup, pic taken on my recent vacation.

My husband got laid off from a tech job 9 months ago. He still hasn’t found a new job and the current job market makes him doubt himself so much so he says that in 9 months the boat has sailed for him and the tech moved on, and when he left his computer on I saw a chat with AI where he tells AI that if he was smart enough he would already had a job.

I hate to see him like this. The worst is that we are an international couple so he lives now in “my country” and he has no friends or family here except me. We’ve planned to move to his home country this year but neither of us got a job there, so far.

This also has been taking a toll on our relationship because while I work in a well-paying job but it is really toxic so I want out, but can’t. I take the stress home and become easily irritable. Especially during weekends I want to rest but the chores accumulate throughout the week I keep asking him to do it but he keeps forgetting, not doing them and then telling me I keep nagging him all the time. Which leads to fights and neither of us is feeling great after that.

I also feel like this situation is my fault since we moved to my home country because I got the job and he needed to leave the job that was stable and he likes it there, and was forced to find a new one here, which turned out to be a wrong company to join.

sushi!

I’m in a medium-distance relationship with my boyfriend I’ve been with for 3 years. Tonight, I have a concert that I’ve been looking forward to, and I really wanted him to come. I even offered to throw in money toward his flight ticket just to make it easier for him to visit. My friend who bought the ticket CANCELED last second. 

Today around noon (11:54 AM), we were texting. He was being hostile right off the bat he’s mad because he feels like a second option, texting me "Mfs don’t gotta be up when you up wth." When I casually pointed out that it was the middle of the afternoon, he completely snapped and texted: "It’s 11:54 and ts started a while ago you asshole. Fuck this shi. Can’t do shit right. Leave me alone tryna start problems off rip."

I didn't yell back or get aggressive. I literally just replied: "asshole? aight, bet."

Instead of realizing he was out of line, he doubled down and sent a barrage of texts: "Yes you are an asshole. For this convo and how you handling things. Yes 1 100%." Then he hit me with the passive-aggressive "have a fun day seriously, imma leave you alone, be safe" to try and ruin my day before my concert.

This is a recurring pattern in our relationship. He verbally insults me (he has told me to "STFU" in the past), blames his own moodiness on me, and then acts like the victim whenever I don't beg for his forgiveness. Then he’ll be sorry and repeat. 

I’m supposed to be getting ready for a fun night out for the concert, but I’m sitting here questioning my own sanity because he made me feel like I did something wrong.

Am I out of line for cutting the conversation short, or is this complete emotional manipulation?

Im very unlucky in friendships. I did not made any friends until i was in 8th grade and even tho i made only two friends in 8th grade both of them chose arts stream while i chose science and since we didn't had any classes together our friendship usually faded and we barely talked once a month. In 9th grade a made a bunch of friends and among all those there is this two girls who were my best friends but my friendship with them including everyone else also ended because i ended up having to retake physics in order to start 11th grade. Retaking a subject is considered a embarrassing thing here. Both of my "best friends" passed and started 11th grade earlier than me and my friendship with them including all my other friends also ended. I never thought my friendship with two of my "best friends" will ever end but here we are.

Now i finally started 11th grade in another school i can't make any friends. I did talked with a few of my classmates but im not friends with any of those. I couldn't make any friends. I think im very unlucky with friendships. I see everyone hanging out with their friends, celebrating holidays together, going to new cafes together, hanging out etc. and all i can do is just see. I don't have anyone to hangout with. Im home 24/7. I spend months in my house without going out at all. I see people my age enjoy their life in fullest while im here just sitting and watching.

Im also older than my other classmates so people my age has already finished high school and started uni which means by the time i start uni im going to be older than most of students too. I hate to be the oldest in the room.

Im grateful for the life im living and the education im receiving but my life is just kinda sad i guess? Idk.

How do I accept a without romantic love?

​I am 25 years old. I’ve never kissed anyone or done anything else. No guy has ever hit on me, shown the slightest bit of interest, or written to me on IG—nothing at all. Every time I’ve tried making a move on someone, I’ve been rejected. I'm the only one who has never even had a casual dating experience.

​Aesthetically, I take care of myself. I’m no model, but I’m average. All my female friends—even those less attractive than me—have had someone. Everyone tells me it’s strange that no one has ever liked me, but years and years have passed and still nothing. I attended mostly male universities and I had, and still have, male friends and acquaintances. However, some are in relationships, and the rest aren't interested in me romantically, only as a friend.

​In clubs, bars, or at other events, no one has ever shown interest in me, and the times I tried, I noticed what seemed like disinterest in getting to know me. I’ve always wanted to kiss someone, go out with them, hug them—someone who looks at me with love, who is happy to see me—yet it’s absolute zero.

​I realize I'm an anomaly, and I also realize it’s not a matter of meeting more people because I’ve changed cities, jobs, universities, events, venues—everything—and nothing ever changes. I’ve been trying for years and years and don't receive even a shred of attention. I thought that by taking maximum care of my appearance and meeting people things would change, but instead, nothing. And it’s not a matter of high standards either, because I’ve never rejected anyone in my life; I would just like to be liked by a guy I like.

​A partner was something I wanted so badly, but I’m realizing it’s probably not meant for me. I don't know why, if not for fate—sometimes pretty and smart girls end up alone for life, while bad people find love.

​The problem is that I can't accept this life alone, without ever experiencing what it means to love and be loved. I don't think I'll be able to be happy without it, so what do I do?. I don't want a life where I never experience romantic love, yet I have no choice. I’ve tried everything, and I’m tired of waiting for something that might never arrive or might arrive when I'm 50. I don't want my first boyfriend at that age. I just want someone to look at me through the eyes of love and want to be with me. How do I accept that it won't happen?

​And don't give me false hope or empty platitudes. Be objective and realistic with me.

If my girl dinner hasn’t got proper veggies or protein, and I am surviving off toast, be warned my energy will not be the same I will be like a quacking duck, greens seriously get me through exam periods and through anxiety and even periods of just sadness!!! Good side any makeup tips are appreciated I am nearly officially a girlfriend 😅😅😅😅

hey guys. any of yall remember that post from awhile back about the best first date ever?? forehead kisses and cuddles and sleeping over and 16 hrs of chatting? maybe yall were right and he was love bombing me, or maybe i’m overreacting right now. either way, i’m so frustrated.

i have been seeing this man for nearly a month. he’s in grad school, i just finished undergrad. it’s been SO good, i’ve felt so happy and seen and fulfilled. i know it hasn’t been long but i was slightly finally starting to let my guard down and trust that he wouldn’t suddenly turn evil! that’s rlly hard for me to do!!

i saw him on monday and it was so normal, we cuddled and kissed and watched silly shows and didn’t even have sex, it was SO GOOD and i went home feeling great. i knew he had midterms this week, and he was going to be busy- he warned me- and i told him im not someone who needs constant contact, i understand being busy.

we used to text allll the time, this week it’s cut back a bit and he can go like 24 hrs without replying- i didn’t worry much because i get it and he’d always come back with updates abt his life and school and be apologetic. i knew he was busy this week and pulling all nighters, etc. i also tend to take my own space when stressed.

but his last test was thursday. and he hasn’t texted me since noon that same day. that text was SO NROMAL, super engaged, multiple texts ending with saying he’s so excited to hear about my day. i replied quickly, but now it’s been over 48 hours since ive heard from him at all and i’m getting anxious.

i sent a check in yesterday afternoon but didn’t hear back. the last time we spoke was like noon on thursday and it’s now 3pm saturday. i just don’t get it. how do you not make time for the person you claim to like and be interested in? who you’ve been talking to constantly for a month and hanging out with all the time? maybe he found a new girl, we weren’t exclusive, that seems crazy fast given how i know he was seriously spending the whole week studying.

maybe he’s taking a break from screens after a stressful week, but wouldn’t he like… mention that???

idk i feel weirded out and my feelings are hurt. maybe i’m being immature and should just give it time, but this sucks. i was really starting to like him.

food is my fave pasta- made last time i saw him. garlic, olive oil, trader joe’s “italian bamba” chili paste, salt, oregano. sautéed shrimp and broccoli.

A big sandwich (ham, cheese, tomato, and lettuce) with chips and the other half of the tomato on the side

Anyways, there’s many reasons behind feeling this way. For starters, she abandoned my mother as a baby. Left her at the babysitter and didn’t come back. Luckily the babysitter knew my mother’s grandmother, who came and took her in and cared for her until she was a teen. My grandmother didn’t start taking care of my mom until she was a teen and she left as soon as she was old enough to get away. But unfortunately she never fully cut off my grandmother.

I don’t even know where to begin. For one, she’s a thief. She steals constantly. As a kid I didn’t notice but now as an adult it’s impossible to ignore. I caught her in our storage shed one day going through everything and putting stuff in her car. She thought me and my parents weren’t home and was literally ransacking the shed. And another time my mom caught her going through my dad’s belongings. She claimed she was just cleaning but it was obvious that wasn’t the case. She was going through his files, his nightstand, fiddling with his safe, etc.

She’s also racist. Like soooo very racist. Once again, this wasn’t something I noticed when I was very young but as I got older there is no ignoring it. It’s one of the main things that makes me avoid her as much as possible. Her and my mom have gotten in huge fights over it. She’s been kicked out of our house over it.

The other problem is the weight talk. Every time I see her the first thing out of her mouth is something about my weight. I’ve always been bigger and it’s always been a problem for her. She used to poke and pinch my stomach when I was a kid, telling me I need to exercise more. Just unprompted weight related comments since as far back as I can remember. And now I’ve lost weight and she’s always commenting on that. How much have you lost? When are you going to stop? Don’t get too skinny. But don’t get big again. She thinks she’s being helpful and encouraging but it just irritates me, especially after years of dealing with her fatphobia (the cherry on top is she was big too for most of my life but that didn’t stop all the hurtful comments).

There’s so much other stuff. She’s stubborn, she’s very unhygienic, she throws tantrums like a kid, she thinks everyone is out to get her and thinks everyone hates her (literally accused my father of trying to murder her via cutting her brakes…her brakes were fine and he never interacts with her), has the sense of entitlement you’d expect from a royal princess, comments on literally everyone’s appearance negatively all the time, acts like a puritanical Christian but never follows her own supposed faith, and is constantly pestering me about getting a boyfriend.

You know how some people with bad relationships with their parents get envious or sad when they see someone with a good relationship with their parents? That’s how I feel about my grandmother. I’m sad I’ll never get to experience having a kind, sweet grandparent. My paternal grandparents passed when I was very young and I don’t even know who my maternal grandfather is. So that just leaves my grandmother. And unfortunately I just don’t like what I’m left with.

My mom unfortunately feels obligated to keep her in her life simply because she’s a relative. It makes me so sad that even after all the bullshit that woman has put her through, she’s still waiting for her mom to just be a mom. It breaks my heart honestly. I think she knows she’s holding out for something that will never come. I can only hope that one day she truly lets go of this woman. She’s brought my mom nothing but pain and that’s the worst part of all.

This happened in August but I’m still pissed off about it 😭. I (22F) told my dad that I’m going to my friend’s birthday party because he’s the one dropping me off. Then he told me not to drink alcohol and I replied that “we won’t drink because her parents are religious”. The birthday location changed to a different place and then my dad got annoyed because he doesn’t like last minute changes. And then he said “I thought her parents being religious was bullshit, if they were religious, they would’ve run the state prison”. And in my head I‘m like wtf is he talking about. Because my friend’s mom literally was in a religious psychosis. He did dropped me off at the party. But that really pissed me off because why would I lie to him? LMAOO

Hungry college gal special: pb&h sandwich, fruit leather, beef jerky thing, goodies Mac n cheese, and electrolyte water

Didn’t know where else to put this. I read these simple, short fanfics on TikTok to go to sleep sometimes(mild insomnia problems). Last night’s happened to be a text style fanfic for Call of Duty(I don’t even play it because I’m bad at shooters, though I do watch gameplay because I love me some story) and wasn’t necessarily completely out of context but not canon accurate either. Anyways I passed out with my phone in hand and must’ve rolled over my phone in my sleep or something because I accidentally messaged it to the creator of an upcoming indie game that is completely and utterly unrelated. It’s a rock sorting game. It doesn’t even come out for another month, I’ve just been following their posts and playing the demo until then. They don’t even have 200 followers on TikTok. I didn’t see that I sent it until after I ate breakfast. I already messaged saying it was a sleep accident and to please ignore but uh… yea. I’m going to be embarrassed about this for some time me thinks. Never sleeping with my phone in hand again. Gonna go crawl into my bed and not come out for a bit

Dinner-chips, salsa, bean dip and a Mexican martini 🍸

https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/VBaeEfptVi -link to my original post. I got a lot of support here and would love to give an update.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to testify in court against my childhood abuser from 26 years ago. After only getting probation for his disgusting crimes against me, he was left free in this world to reoffend and hurt other children. There were 6 victims that got up to testify. 6 known victims. Both boys and girls. I am proud to say we got a guilty verdict. The jury used less than one minute for deliberations and came back with a unanimous guilty verdict. Life + 20. He will be eligible for parole in 30 years, but I can guarantee you we will fight to keep him in his box. He will no longer be hurting children. The justice system failed me as a little girl. Failed all of his victims by letting him walk free and reoffend. Not today though. Small town Texas stuck it to him and I couldn’t be more grateful. Here’s to hoping he gets everything he’s given while he is in Texas prison.

Hi girlies,

Tomorrow my bf's parents are coming over to meet my parents and I am hella nervous.

Will tell a bit about my bf. He is doing master's abroad and I am working, we are in a ldr. He is such a nice person, very warm, very kind but he is not that confident about himself. And this has been worrying me alot. He hasn't landed a job yet even after hitting late 20s and he is yet to complete his masters where as I am working. He is doing masters from a really prestigious institution. I do feel like he hasn't unlocked his full potential yet due to his lack of self confidence.

and lately this has started spreading to his appearance as well, like balding issues but I am getting hurt for him whenever people emphasize these things jokingly and this is effecting him. He has this pattern of starting a new hobby and losing interest in a short period of time. Sometimes I feel frustrated for him, not taking care of himself. He is always stressed. I want to marry him but I feel mad about him being under confident and later I do feel guilty for ranting about it. This has been a repeating pattern. I am too scared to get married in general bcoz it's a solid decision for me. For me, sometimes this is hard to take in. But this guy loves me so much and I don't think anyone else could love me like that. I do feel like I'm the toxic person in this relationship at times. But it's very overwhelming for me. May be this is a phase and Iam just waiting for him to overcome his fears and be that guy for me!

It’s a sad girl dinner today 🌧️
I apologize for the long post today. Lotsa thoughts and no one to share them with. Ahem, DEAR DIARY,

Typically I try to be a #baddie and not let little tiny dating life slips get to me but ouch. No one ever tells you that when you get hit twice at the same time it hurts ten times more! It’s like constructive interference in physics. When two waves hit at the same time and they become one massive wave.

Anyway. Today I was feeling a bit sick and quite tired so after lunch I took a little nap. I woke up not 20 minutes after, still quite groggy. Two BZZ BZZZZZs from my phone.

One was from a girl with whom I went on a date last month. It was very sweet and we were really into each other. Nothing serious yet. I wasn’t living in the city yet and was about to live and we made a promise to go on a second date once I moved permanently! I just moved this week, so I shot her a message trying to schedule our second date.

The other was from HER. Not “her” as in someone, HER as in the lesbian dating app 😅 it was a text back from a match I was really really excited about from earlier that day! I had just sent a “hiiii :)” earlier, that was all.

Well. The girl from last month texted me to say she actually was not interested anymore and there would not be a second date 🥺 and the girl from HER just texted me to say I’m not her type and shes not attracted to me and would not be interested in continuing the conversation 🫩 girl why even match at this point. Did she really just like me back to tell me I’m chopped and she’s not interested?? Bleh!!

In a normal day these would be minor bumps that I would not sulk at all over. Would just be a case of “ah shucks! Life goes on I guess”. But the fact they were both back to back, literally at the same time. 🥺 right as I was waking up! 🥺

It really bummed me out for the rest of the day. :( feeling extra lonely and upset today. I know it’s not very #baddie and #hot of me to be all sad and mulchy over the smallest little dating slips but ouch. Something’s in the water today, it hit me like a proper heartbreak 🌧️🌧️ like I just got broken up with or something. :( im only 24, these should be my “give no fucks” years 😭😭

Having some lasagna for dinner, gonna spend the rest of my evening trying to cheer myself up. Watch a movie, maybe? Listen to some Bomb! The Music Industry? And I shan’t touch the beer, I’ll save them for the next happy day 🍻

Ein selbstgebackener Zimtkuchen, denn anscheinend bin ich in letzter Zeit in Backlaune.

Aber mal was anderes: Ich bin etwas niedergeschlagen.

Ich habe meinen Blog vor elf Monaten gestartet und habe immer noch nur null bis fünf Besucher pro Tag.

Ich habe sogar auf Reddit gefragt, was ich verbessern könnte, aber anstatt konstruktives Feedback zu bekommen, wurde mir vorgeworfen, alles mit KI zu erstellen. Was einfach nicht stimmt.

Ja, ich nutze manchmal KI zur Rechtschreib- und Grammatikprüfung, aber das ist auch schon alles. Alles andere ist meine eigene Arbeit. Ich mache alle Fotos selbst und stecke wirklich viel Zeit, Mühe und Herzblut in meinen Blog.

Es ist einfach frustrierend, so viel Herzblut in etwas zu stecken, das man liebt, und dann das Gefühl zu haben, dass es kaum jemand bemerkt.

Edit: Advertising on Instagram is running