I still don't really know what I want.

Hi guys!! I decided to join this sub because I just recently figured out I was non-binary! And just call me Ari! Have a good day/night/evening/morning!

I really feel invisible as a nonbinary person who was assigned male at birth (AMAB), and honestly, I'm getting tired of it.

Whenever I try to look up resources, advice, or information that might help me understand myself and deal with my gender dysphoria, I constantly find content focused on AFAB nonbinary people. There's nothing wrong with AFAB nonbinary people having representation, and I'm not saying they shouldn't have resources or support. What frustrates me is how difficult it can be to find information and representation for AMAB nonbinary people. Sometimes it feels like we're barely acknowledged at all.

I'm looking for advice from people who might share similar experiences to mine, but finding those resources feels unnecessarily difficult. It makes me wonder where the rest of us are supposed to go when we need support, guidance, or simply reassurance that we're not alone.

Another thing that has really bothered me is how I've been treated within the LGBTQ+ and nonbinary communities. I've experienced being ignored, excluded from spaces that claim to welcome nonbinary people, or made to feel like I don't belong because I'm not AFAB or transfeminine.

I've also dealt with people repeatedly telling me to go on estrogen or start HRT, even though I don't want to. Being nonbinary doesn't automatically mean I want to medically transition. I don't want to change my body in that way, and I wish people would respect that instead of acting like HRT is something I need to do to validate my identity.

What's even more uncomfortable is having people close to me suggest that I should have just been a trans woman, or make jokes about putting me on estrogen. I don't find that funny. It makes me uncomfortable, and I've had to stand up for myself repeatedly just to get people to respect my identity and boundaries.

I also experience misgendering and disrespect from people within the LGBTQ+ community itself. Sometimes people default to he/him pronouns simply because I look masculine or because they perceive me as a guy. It feels like my identity is being dismissed based on my appearance rather than respected for what I've actually expressed about myself.

I'm bisexual and nonbinary. I shouldn't have to look a certain way, take hormones, change my body, or fit someone else's expectations to be accepted as who I am.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to prove that my identity is legitimate.

I want to be able to find resources, connect with people who understand my experiences, and exist in nonbinary spaces without feeling like I'm an outsider. I want to see more representation of AMAB nonbinary people, including people who don't want HRT, don't identify as trans women, and don't necessarily fit the expectations people have of what a nonbinary person should look like.

I know I'm probably not the only person who feels this way, but sometimes it genuinely feels like there's no real community or visibility for people like me.

I'm posting this because I want to know if other AMAB nonbinary people have experienced similar things. Where do you find support? Have you also struggled to find resources or felt excluded from nonbinary spaces? How do you deal with people making assumptions about your identity or pressuring you to medically transition?

I just want to feel like there's a place for people like us, too.

AFAB, I'm 16 and been thinking about gender stuff a lot recently but idk if I'm wrong or not. Prolly not really related but I just found out my old roblox account had a nonbinary flag on the avatar I was like 11 at the time. Dunno if lil me was on to something or nah 💀
I kinda really envy ppl with mustaches and want muscles. Don't think I want to be a boy tho? Don't feel much of a connection to that idea if that makes any sense at all, I think I just want to look more masculine at least?? I also don't mind my chest much but I do wish it was less noticeable/flatter, idk if I'd want a completely flat chest or not tho. I've had thoughts about getting a binder but idk if I should haha esp if I'm wrong
Unsure if I feel entirely connected to the idea of being a girl/woman whatever.
uhhhhh help me out here guys. I can yap a bit more if more context is needed or if my blathering just now made absolutely zero sense

I've had this friend for a couple years now. She's a year younger than me and lives down the street from me, and I've known her since I was 10 and she was 9. I don't see her very often anymore because we no longer go to the same school.

Yesterday I went to the bus stop and she was there, so I went over to say hi at which point she said "can you use she/they pronouns for me?" i obviously was like "i gotchu" and moved on. I didn't want to say anything else because their sister, who they aren't out to, was right there.

anyway, how should I support them? obviously i should use their preferred name and pronouns, but since I don't see them very often I wouldn't want to accidentally out them while referring to them. but i also don't want to go around just deadnaming and misgendering my friend to other people.

also, should I offer to help her come out? i know her parents, and they seem supportive to me, so I think she would be fine to come out to them as transfemme (or however she identifies, i'm really not sure, all I know is she uses she/they pronouns and a more feminine name). i mean they know I'm trans and are fine with it. she also feels like she can't tell them for some other reason, which I've definitely felt, so would it be a good idea to offer to be there as a coach/mentor/older sibling?

Been thinking about my Gender way more recently and realised while I identify with aspects of masculinity (I’m AMAB) a lot of the time I feel genderless.

Taken me a couple weeks since I realised to work up the courage but I came out to my bandmates last night as non-binary (gonna use he/they, deadass felt my heart racing a million beats a minute as the words left my mouth, but they were all so chill about it!

Frankly I think it helped so much that they didn’t make a big deal and didn’t feel the need to ask any questions besides what pronouns I want them to use. But were super supportive overall

I have realised tho that technically I’m going to have to come out multiple times, as I tell various groups of people (at least those I want to know). But having only positive reactions so far has been super heartwarming!

Hi, afab here... I'm kind of questioning and exploring my identity right now and whether or not I actually "fit enough" for anything... Because it feels weird.

I noticed that when it comes to my period, I just hate my body and what it comes with. I obsessively look up how to dress more androgynous (I have a bigger chest), how to reduce my chest, and even just wishing I could rip all of it off (or out, because during that time I don't really want the entire reproductive system either.)but not totally permanently. Like I wish I could just take it all out or swap them out until I feel better or until I want it again. But I have crying fits over it.

I basically refuse to dress in a way that makes me look at any of it because I'll cry. Or want to cry. Normally I like dressing pretty feminine, which makes me feel less "non binary," or something like that. I also like dressing masculine, but I can't really afford new clothes and whatnot. But during my period it's like a flip switches and everything about being feminine alongside being afab is terrible. I hope that makes sense?

I hope I didn't word anything too badly. I'm still new to this entire thing and I have questions I have no one else to ask.

OK, ever since I was a kid, I’ve always felt like I was Larping having a gender. But as I grew older and my body began to change I began to realize that I felt more comfortable being gender neutral. I basically felt like a gender less alien.

But I still like girly things sometimes and I’m mostly friends with girls because all of the boys are really bigoted.

Sometimes I’ll go long periods of time without feeling this way and the I’ll think that I’ve been cured but then I’ll start feeling this way again.

My parents are very bigoted and I don’t have any friends.

How can I get a chest binder and will if still work if I have big boobs

Tomorrow marks the 8th week since I started my HRT journey. Tonight was quite an interesting night… fine, not just the night. But let’s start with the best feeling I had so far and work my way back, ok?

Me and my two kids, 9 yo girl and 13 yo boy were watching some sitcoms, “Fresh of the boat” to be precise. And we were sort of cuddling on the sofa until my son rub his head on my chest, sort of a puppy dog move. Normally I’d like it, but his head was rubbing on my hormone-made-sensitive nipples.

Then they started to comment that they (my both sides of my chest) did look bigger or rounder than before. It can’t be… but maybe… a little… on my black pajama dress, it does look a little rounder… very little. Then they tried to pat it gently… I didn’t really stop them, except to ask them to be gentle.

Then my daughter started to worry a bit, like they shouldn’t get bigger or close to my wife’s breasts. I think she worries I’ll be a second mom. I think I did assure her, I’ll still be her dad.

Anyways… yeah that’s sort of the thing I wanted to write. The part I wanted to work back through towards… sorry, I’m too tired to go to. And I wanna end this entry on a good feeling. So… that’s it! 🤭

I always find it funny when people clock me as trans and think they’re doing something when they refer to me as a he or she. i genuinely do not care either way since i shift between both.

the mental gymnastics bigots do is very weird especially when they think you’re a trans woman. i mean people also think i’m a trans man depending on how masc i decide to dress but it’s still funny regardless.

So my wife knows I’m nonbinary and supports me but she has never seen me fully fem presenting till today. She absolutely loves it and she wants to try going out together soon with me fully feminine. I can’t wait to go out with her like that.

For years I felt like I was a trans woman, but ever since I came out to my mum as enby, I have felt a huge weigh off my shoulders.

I came out years ago, pre-covid some time and it was the best thing I had ever done. I no longer felt trapped and worried. When my mum said she accepted me, I was shocked and overjoyed.

I generally view myself as the following:

Gender: Non-binary.

Gender expression: Fluid.

Sexuality: Pan.

I get days where I feel femme and days when I just exist. I don't really ever feel masc but I do blend in because of my football shirts and cis male passing.

Sorry for the boring intro. I have a few questions if I may?

Do any other amab enbys enjoy wearing heels as much as I do? I'd make them my whole personality if my mum didn't worry to much about what strangers might think or do.

I get that she's protective of me, and I guess in some way I'm grateful to have that cushion, but I would love to be able to go out one day in full femme with other femmes or cis women.

Do you have any advice for a 35 y/o who's currently in a void over their wardrobe and femme style?

They/part time She, 35, UK, xo hugs and love.

What’s the non binary word for mummy / daddy? Also for uncle / auntie?

Cis ppl constantly will push gender roles onto you and then insult you for not conforming to said gender roles. Like I don't shave my body hair and that's a BIG issue for a lot of ppl bc I look and sound like a woman. But at the same time they can't tell me "you're not a real woman bc you don't shave your legs/keep your hair super short" or "you're too feminine to ever be a real man" bc then that would just be validating my genderqueer identity, and they would never want to do THAT.

It's always fun to watch them suddenly go silent when they realize they're about to validate my identity lmao. Like yes good job I'm not a man or a woman, thank you for realizing it. It's always super entertaining to receive criticism for not confirming to gender roles, bc I literally go out of my way to do just that so it ends up being super validating like aw thanks for noticing!

hello. em... i'm writin' this in tears because... my (t)boyfriend just said that non-binary people are a red flag for him. I feel so fuckin' crushed and broken 'cause he already rejected this about me once, but said he would try to understand and supported me, but in the end... again didn’t understand why i couldn’t just fit into a binary framework and be either a man or a woman. i couldn’t say anything other than “I just feel like this, not like that.”, i simply don’t know how to explain these feelings to a person who is clearly knows that he is a guy. but I felt so proud inside, realizing that I was non-binary, afraid to tell anyone about it. I just don’t know what to do next... I don't know how to make a person understand me. To be honest, I also rejected him once when he told me that he felt like a guy, but I accepted him pretty quickly. almost a year after we dated, I felt so open with him that I began to notice things that I would never have noticed before, but now I just feel like a broken, wrong woman. how i have to deal with it

Once I leave home and find peace this is what I hope to be.

I will only be drawing myself only not really doing any selfie but only until I'm finally free. So expect drawings from me. :)

i'm writing lore for my oc and they're non binary and they'er a huge lover girl/boy but idk what word to use