I’ve been doing photography and videography professionally for a decade now, and I’m honestly at a point where I don’t know what to do.
From the very beginning, I’ve been a very Type B, hyperfocused, scattered-but-deeply-caring kind of business owner. I love the creative side of this job, and I genuinely care about my couples and the work I deliver. But I’ve always struggled with the less glamorous, equally important parts of running a business: communication, staying organized, taking care of my gear, and making sure every single file is backed up properly.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve made a handful of significant mistakes. Thankfully, not constantly, but serious enough that you’d think experiencing them once would be enough to make sure they never happened again.
There have been times when I forget to transfer audio files and then wipe the cards. I’ve had to ask couples to re-record their vows (this has happened twice). About six years ago, before I started keeping multiple backups, a hard drive crashed, and I had to spend an enormous amount of money on data recovery because I didn’t have a second copy. Thankfully, I got those files back, but it was a costly lesson.
And the biggest, most recurring issue? Forgetting I shot on 3 memory cards instead of 2 and not transferring any of those files from the third card and then formatting them for another wedding.
I have ADHD, and I feel like I’ve tried SO hard to put systems in place to work with my brain rather than against it. I leave myself notes, back up files immediately, dual-record wherever possible, upload things to the cloud, and keep memory cards untouched until a wedding has been delivered.
I genuinely have tried to learn from my mistakes and build better habits.
But somehow, I keep finding myself here.
I have now, for the second time in the last two years, forgotten an entire memory card containing photos from the end of a wedding day. Both times, it’s been when I’m shooting photography and not videography, and the card has been sitting in my card case rather than in my camera. For whatever reason, those files have slipped through the cracks and I forget to transfer the files completely and then down the road, use the card for another wedding.
Today, I got off the phone with a crying bride who was super great and kind, but knowing that I’ve lost a significant part of someone’s wedding day makes me feel physically ill no matter how nice about it she was. I had to tell her that I lost her entire reception because of my stupid mistake. Their first dance, parent dances, dancing with family and friends, and so many moments that can never truly be recreated.
I almost wanted her to yell at me or demand a full refund but she was so understanding and nice… which in a way makes me feel worse?
I am absolutely devastated. I feel ashamed, sick to my stomach, and honestly, like a complete fraud.
I’ve been doing this for TEN YEARS. How am I still making mistakes like this? How can I care so much about my couples and my work, yet keep making these kinds of errors? At what point do I have to stop blaming my scattered brain and admit that maybe I’m just not cut out for this?
I don’t know if I’m posting this because I genuinely need advice, because I need to hear from other photographers and videographers who have struggled with similar things, or because a part of me feels like I deserve to be torn apart for what I’ve done.
Maybe I need someone to tell me to get my act together. Maybe I need to hear that I should quit. I honestly don’t know.
I’m not trying to excuse what happened because of ADHD or my personality. I know that these mistakes have real consequences, and I know how heartbreaking it is for a couple to lose moments they trusted me to preserve. I take that seriously.
But I also know that I’ve spent years trying to improve, putting systems in place, and genuinely wanting to do better. And right now, I feel like I can’t even trust myself to do the job I’ve been doing for a decade.
So I guess I’m asking my fellow photographers and videographers: Have any of you struggled with recurring mistakes like this, even after trying to put systems in place? How did you overcome them? Did you have to completely change the way you work? And at what point do you decide that something you love doing might not be something you can responsibly continue doing?
I know putting this out there opens me up to criticism, and I understand that. I’m not looking for anyone to tell me what happened was okay. It wasn’t.
I just genuinely don’t know where to go from here, and I could really use some honest advice.