wanted to share some lighthearted moments i had in therapy today because i think the therapeutic relationship is such a sacred thing

we were supposed to do emdr reprocessing, but after the first set, i told my therapist to stop because i was really distracted and couldn’t concentrate

usually, i would just push through because i didn’t want to seem like a “bad” client, but today, i finally felt safe enough to tell her i needed to stop

she slowed things down and we talked about what was on my mind instead. turns out, i’ve been carrying more than i realised over the past six months, and things i’d been trying to push down finally came up

we also had a few moments where we laughed together, which i really appreciated. i think there’s something beautiful about being able to share a laugh in a space that can be so vulnerable and serious. it reminds me that there’s room for humour and for my therapist to just be human with me

i’m really grateful to have a therapeutic relationship where i can be honest about what i need without feeling like i have to push through everything

does anyone else have lighthearted moments with their therapist? what are some little things about your therapeutic relationship that you really appreciate?

How should I deal with this? I feel like I say goodbye to her and she disappears. I’m panicky and sometimes I yearn for her so much like some needy child. It just hurts so much that I can’t be around her. I have so much love for her and I don’t even know what to do with it.

My therapist has said that this is an unusual arrangement.

She explained that the purpose is for me to process my relationship with my therapist with her supervisor, and that she’ll also work with her own supervisor to process our relationship.

My therapist said this is additional support for our dyad.

I’m having three sessions this week. Two with my T and one with her supervisor. The supervisor has more psychoanalytic training.

I’m at least intellectually intrigued. This will be fun! Riding the waves in therapy land. 🌊

I know this is long but I’ve been feeling immense guilt over leaving my therapist & I just want to find some sort of peace of mind because I have no experience with therapy or therapists. I feel silly for even asking this as I feel my therapist was bad but I have an awful habit of blaming myself. So I am grateful for any help! I tried to do a TLDR at the very bottom, I hope it’s good enough, I’m sorry if it’s bad! ♥︎

I had a therapist that wasn’t very good. I didn’t know what to look for since I was new to therapy. But I felt like this one was pretty bad.

First, she kept talking about herself & her family. She knows my trauma comes from feeling unloved, neglected & abused by my family when I was a kid… so it felt kind of insulting when instead of asking me questions or giving me tips for managing feelings of hopelessness she instead would talk about how loving her family is or her silly family moments. Occasionally she will nod her head in agreement with me or say things like “Oh… I don’t know why your mom would do that…” when I tell her certain experiences I had.

She was very chatty, it felt like I was talking to the popular girl in school or something. I could be in the middle of talking about an abusive situation & somehow she had to turn it into one of her life stories. I don’t mind friendliness but she just didn’t feel professional enough to me. So my time was mostly spent with me awkwardly smiling & giggling to make her feel better when she told her stories as I kept glancing at the clock & needing to adjust what I wanted to say before the session ends!

I even explained to her what I would like from our sessions & when I asked her if she has a roadmap for helping me she told me I’m being too worried about doing therapy right or wrong. Which was confusing to me because I simply just didn’t want to waste my time or her time.

She would tell me things about her other clients. She had VERY judgemental thoughts about her other clients. Which made me nervous about the possibility of her talking about me to another client of hers. She never gave me names or anything like that.

I’m not sure why she would share such things with me. I am a soft spoken passive person so maybe that’s why she felt too comfortable sharing those things to me.

But what really hurt me & solidified my decision to leave her was when I opened up & talked about a specific incident from my childhood.

I told her about a very traumatic situation from my childhood. When I was a kid, I witnessed one of our dogs get killed by another dog that was a pit bull. Instead of my therapist asking questions related to my trauma & helping me process this, she immediately asked what was the breed of the dog that killed our dog . When I told her the breed of the dog was a pit bull she immediately began defending pit bulls.

I didn’t say anything negative about pit bulls, all I did was answer her question. What bothered me was she didn’t even expand upon the topic about my trauma & instead was giving me a lecture about how misunderstood pit bulls are.

It really hurt my feelings & I had to awkwardly switch topics to something else because I didn’t come here to talk about pit bulls. I came to get help about my childhood trauma.

She was my first therapist & i hate to say it but it really did ruin my view on therapy & made me feel hopeless. I feel like I have walked out of her therapy sessions with more scars on the scars I already have & I just feel so lost & confused. I have a habit of blaming myself so I kept giving her chances because I viewed her as the expert & I didn’t want to view her negatively either. I do think she’s a nice person but I just don’t think she was the right fit for me as my therapist.

I don’t want to give up on therapy after just one therapist. I want to believe I can find the perfect one for me somehow…

TLDR: My first therapist spent our sessions talking about her own quirky family moments when I would talk about my abusive family. She shared judgmental opinions about other clients, & dismissed my request for a roadmap. When I shared with her a traumatic situation from my childhood about my family dog being killed, she focused on defending pit bulls instead of my feelings (even though I didn’t say anything bad about pit bulls). This made me feel uncomfortable & like she wasn’t holding space for my feelings.

Sorry, yet another post on transference, but I need to talk and get this off my chest because it’s killing me...

I've been in therapy for almost a year. We've been working on heavy trauma and attachment issues. I was also diagnosed with AuDHD several years ago.

I understand the concept of transference, but feeling it is a whole other level. That shit hits so hard!

I caught myself developing feelings for my T. It's a strange mix between friendship and romantic feelings. It's very deep, but non-sexual. In a way I'm glad, because it gives me precious information about how I bond with people and what I've been missing.

But for the past few weeks I've been feeling miserable and very anxious. I cry every time I think about her. My brain keeps imagining and replaying conversations and scenes with her in her office, trying to fill the informational void about her true personality. It feels like an intense heartbreak, because I know we'll never be friends and I'll never get to know her more.

I know it's very common to feel this way toward T, but I still feel so angry, sad and guilty about how I feel. I almost regret choosing a female T.

I actually have a girlfriend who knows all my deepest secrets and fears, and she gives me everything I need in a relationship. But the feeling I have for my T feels so unique. She's very professional and has never crossed any boundaries or made me think our relationship could be anything more.

I’m so afraid to talk about this with her. I don’t think I’ll find the strength to do it; I’ll break down and cry like a baby. I’m not comfortable with these kinds of emotions. I’m a very private person. To be honest, I fear her reaction. I don’t want to be transferred to another therapist or anything like that.

So I'm thinking about writing her a short note to give her when my therapy ends. Not a love letter, but a way to thank her for her work and tell her that I've been very attached to her. I was also thinking about giving her a very small gift with it. Is that a good idea?

I've read a lot of the transference posts on this sub, and I'm afraid my feelings for her will last forever after therapy ends. Will they eventually fade away?

It doesn’t have to be some huge, life-changing revelation. I’ve been in therapy for almost two years now, and I’ve learned so much about myself that has genuinely helped me become a better version of myself.

What have you gained from therapy? Even something small that stuck with you is welcome :)

If someone drank alcohol and hoped they drank enough to not wake up, would a therapist consider that an attempt?

I felt it was more passive but now im worried they wont consider it passive?

My partner and I are starting couples therapy at the practice where I see my individual therapist. It’s a large, well known national company, and I’m not sure if we’re going to the same physical location where I see my therapist. I want to know if the couples therapist would be able to see the notes from my individual therapy sessions. There are things I’ve talked about in my individual sessions that I don’t want coming up in couples therapy.

The couples session was booked by my partner under their name, so I’m assuming the notes would go in their chart, is that correct? If the couples counselor finds out that I go to this practice for individual therapy can they look at my chart and read the notes?

I would love to hear your experience, both good and bad.

My therapist and I had 10 sessions so far. She does psychodynamic therapy and also CBT.

We started from talking about my past and kind of stayed there since there is a lot to cover up until current times in my life.

Today in session I told her that I don’t know what therapy is supposed to look like in general since she is my first therapist and I don’t feel like I’m really getting any feedback, and only talking about the past is making me anxious because I don’t feel like this is helping me, and I don’t understand what kind of conclusions she‘s reaching from hearing these things.

She asked me what about talking about my past doesn’t feel like I’m getting feedback, and I said that I feel that from a professional perspective she probably sees things that I don’t, and I guess I should have said that I need something else rather than simply offering empathy.

Later in the session I talked about feeling like my manager at work is abandoning me because she quit, and I did get some advice on how I should move forward at work but most of what I got was empathy, not talking about abandonment or anything that this really could have opened up for us to talk about. This honestly left me confused, is this what I was supposed to expect when signing up? I will bring this up next session, but if that doesn’t change, are we incompatible?

For context, my T is great and I think we will continue to do great work together, but recently he has been making small shifts to be like less available and almost less personable and connected in sessions (and yes, it is a talking point in sessions - today particularly if just really got to me). We are doing a lot of different things in sessions given a lot of life stressors and changes and some reemerging trauma stuff, but also relational work and attachment and such… the issue is like how do you deal with when therapists start to remove some of the support they’ve been providing and kinda without acknowledging they’re going to make these changes? Also with them being very aware of the very difficult time you’re in and your lack of external support? How do you I guess process that change within the therapeutic relationship and also just become that for yourself?

My therapist canceled a few hours before our session last week saying she was not feeling well but she would check her availability so we could meet twice next week (I usually see her once a week). This was on Thursday and I replied saying I hope she feels better soon and told her my availability for an extra session next week. Usually I would get reply the next day at the latest but I never heard back. Just last month she canceled last minute due to a migraine but was able to see me the next day.

Due to the recent frequency of cancellations and lack of reply, I am now worried she is deathly ill or something. I’ve been coming up with all sorts of things and have also been wondering what would happen if she did die. How would I find out? Who would inform me? It low key ruined my weekend.

I sent I follow up message this morning (Monday) about 7hrs ago and still haven’t heard back 😭

Background: I started a new therapist after a few years of taking a break. I was having a lot of anxiety during our first few sessions so I really just wanted someone to talk to. She has been helpful but she’s very casual with me. I had a few relationship issues when I first started. I did hold back and gently told her my issues but her mannerisms and her behavior made it almost feel like I was gossiping to a friend. In the last few sessions she had had text notifications go off and this last one she was wearing pajamas to a 9am zoom. Also I have been uncomfortable when she’s mentioned “love languages” I see that as a text written by a white Christian male to make women be submissive to their husbands. I don’t think it’s very intellectual. But I didn’t want to be combative or judgmental of her bringing them up so I didn’t mention anything.

Question: I haven’t had much experience in therapy. Would it be rude to give her this feedback. What are the best steps to take when not having the right fit with a therapist.

For those of you who changed therapists, how did you know it was time to switch? What qualities or modalities did you deliberately look for in a new therapist? What changes can I make to "treatment plan" if I bring this problem up to my therapist?

I've had the same EMDR, CPTSD, somatic bilateral tapping, drama therapist for 1 year. Even though time has passed, I still feel like I haven't increased my window of tolerance to a point where I feel satisfied during a majority of days in the week instead of waking up sad in the morning. How do I know if it's my personal problem of learning how to manage my emotions, or if it means I should find a new therapist?

I exercise routinely, my therapist does not give me weekly homework, I try reading books about trauma to supplement my healing. Thank you.

I’m curious about how therapists approach their final session with a client, especially when the therapist is the one leaving.

I worked with my therapist for over a year, mostly on my anxiety in romantic relationships and personal growth. He recently left his position, and coincidentally, I was going through a breakup around the same time (from a relationship he’d always been somewhat skeptical about).

During our final session, he told me: “You will be successful, and you will find love.”

Those words meant a lot to me, especially coming from someone who’s professional, twice my ages (in hus 50s) and had witnessed my struggles and growth over the past year.

Part of me wants to believe he genuinely saw certain qualities in me that made him confident about my future. But another part wonders if those were simply kind words to end our therapeutic relationship on a positive note, or an attempt to comfort me knowing he wouldn’t be there to support me through the breakup.

I know nobody can tell me what my therapist was thinking, but I’d love to hear from therapists:

When you say something hopeful about a client’s future in your final session, is it usually based on what you’ve genuinely observed in them, or is it more about offering encouragement and a compassionate goodbye? Would you say something that specific if you didn’t genuinely believe it?

TL:DR - My therapist schedules her patients back-to-back with only a 10 minute breather between sessions/clients, that often gets used up finishing the session. This doesn't seem like a good practice to me. It doesn't seem to give her much time to "ground" and be ready for her next patient/me. Is this the norm and how problematic do you think it is? It has resulted in some bad sessions for me, and makes me question my therapist's professional abilities...

Longer Version:

My therapist schedules her sessions (myself and her other patients) back-to-back, with a ten minute break between them, that often gets used to extend the session to finish a topic.

Obviously, its not entirely my business to be scrutinizing how she runs her practice, but on more than a few occasions over the years, it has been obvious to me that her previous session had left her... not ready to do her best for me.

I have brought it up as a concern a couple of times, and her response has not been particularly satisfying.

A few weeks ago, I came in for my session, and I could tell she was tense, or at the very least, not relaxed, and our session did not go very well. During the session, I mentioned what I had observed, and she turned it on me and said that she had sensed something from me, which is either what put her on edge or that I was projecting my own feelings onto her.

This was pretty out of character for her, and I actually had been feeling pretty relaxed and fine that day, going in without really any "charge", weight, or anything "hovering over me". To the point that if she didn't have a strict cancelation policy, I probably would have cancelled the appointment because I didn't feel like I had anything to discuss.

It kind of burned up the session, damaged my confidence in her, and meant we spent the next session talking a lot about the "rupture" that I personally didn't really feel needed so much addressing, but it seemed more like she did than I; I would have rather just taken the L as a "bad day" for one of us, and moved on to other stuff.

The next session, we did get to something good and helpful, but it felt me like it had to do with things we could have talked about through a few other topics I had brought up in the past, than just about the most recent rupture.

So not entirely wasted, but since all my sessions are being paid for out of my pocket (she doesn't accept insurance), it feels like my time and money is not being spent the best, and I think at least a part of that is because she doesn't give herself time to reset between patients...

If you think I'm crazy for posting this, I'm sorry. Please be kind. It's honestly embarrassing posting this knowing it's possible I might be delusional for thinking these behaviors mean anything. This is going to be lengthy, so thank you if you're able to make it to the end.

With that said...

What do you think of this behavior from my former therapist? Why do you think she was behaving this way? Do you think I was reading too much into things?

I love her, and I think she loved me too...

This is with a former T of 1 year and 8 months. I'm late 20sF, she's late 40sF. She's been practicing for almost 20 years. I was attracted to her the moment I met her. To be clear, the intimacy of our relationship escalated after I told her I had romantic and sexual feelings towards her. And not long after that, I told her I loved her for the first time. She told me she's never had a client express feelings for her before. So these behaviors began after my disclosures. She didn't act this way towards me before that. My feelings grew far deeper than just transference the more I got to know her.

One time she blocked the door and wouldn't let me leave until I pinky swore to stay safe, because I was about to see my ex who had recently tried to killed me. She begged me to pinky swear because she didn't trust my verbal reassurance.

She implied numerous times that she was unhappy in her marriage. She implied numerous times that she felt unseen by her family.

When we talked about sex, she'd always smirk, clearly entertained, and ask me things like "was it gooooood?". She's even initiated the topic.

She would wear low cut tops, and sit leaning all the way forward most of the session that I would have to be very intentional about where my eyes landed.

Instead of squatting or crouching to pick something up to shuffle through her things, she'd bend over and take her time.

Her office was really small and her couch was tight against the side of the door frame, and she had a lamp beside the door swing, and instead of standing out in the hallway, sometimes she'd stand in front of the door so that I'd have no choice but to brush or squeeze past her to leave.

Sometimes she'd corner me in her office and stand so close to me, maybe a foot or less away, facing me, so close that I'd hold my breath. Even when we lingered in the hallway, she would stand just as close to me.

Some sessions she'd scoot her desk chair closer to me, about 3' away.

We always ended sessions with a pinky swear. Often before she scooted closer, she'd take off her glasses and look at me intensely. Sometimes she'd grip my pinky so damn hard and pull me closer. I struggle with eye contact, and during these moments she'd tell me to look at her.

She took a noose out of my car and got rid of it.

She called me repeatedly while I was in the mental hospital.

I let her borrow my book, In Session by Deborah A. Lott. I told her I read it to understand our relationship more, especially the sexual feelings I had towards her. I let her borrow it, and when she returned it, she folded the dust jacket and tucked one of my journal pages into two pages of the book that described a similar situation we were in — a client who longed for her therapist to be the perfect lover and parental figure, and a therapist who blurred lines and crossed boundaries, feeding the attachment, who eventually denied it and denied that the connection was even real and believed they were being noble.

One time when we were discussing boundaries, she blurted out "I love my kids" even though it had nothing to do with what we were talking about.

Towards the end of working together, she tightened boundaries and started talking about her husband more unprompted. Previously she only brought him up to complain about him.

Relationship Context:

We met 3–5x a week (not including when she scheduled me on a weekend or two despite clocking out at noon on Fridays, not including when she would reserve an extra hour after our sessions and didn't bill me for it), went over most sessions (20 mins minimum up to 2 hours over), and communicated frequently in between (including hour long phone calls). She often prioritized me over other clients, and insisted even when I refused.

She spearheaded my workplace accommodations while I was on medical leave, and pursued additional training with me in mind. We both did research on my presenting problems and even shared resources / books with each other.

Pinky swears, handwritten notes, gifts, stickers, bringing each other drinks, a crocheted plush she'd let me keep between sessions. We hugged. Once—after I got out of the hospital. It was tight and lasted a long time. She told me she'd never hugged a client before, and that there had only been 1 or 2 times in her entire career she's even wanted to.

Her language was incredibly intimate. She was very affectionate / doting, admiring, complimentary, reverent, devoted, encouraging, reassuring, inconsistent, repeatedly told me how exceptional I was to her, and made so many promises about never giving up on me.

Some examples of what she's said or written to me:

Note—these include things said in session, phone calls, voice messages, voicemail, and written communication. I take notes in session, and sit in my car after every single session and brain dump everything I can possibly remember.

"I'll do anything you want, anything you ask."

"You're in my heart, ALWAYS" (she frequently said this to me, and told me she would never say this to another client)

"You have so much goodness in you. You do. I believe the people around you feel the same way I feel, and see what I see...So much good in you."

"I'm honored to be on this journey with you....I'm honored to be a part of your journey."

"You're NOT just another client to me. I will think about you LONG after this all ends. I will NEVER forget you. You are NOT forgettable. You're my extremely interesting client."

"You MATTER to me. As far as our therapeutic relationship goes, it MEANS something to me, and it's very real. What we do in here is very real. I know more about YOU than I do about most people in my life. All of this is SO weird, and it sucks. Our relationship is valuable to me. YOU are valuable to me."

"When all is said and done and all the goals are met, YOU are one of the clients that I would wonder about and want to hear from. It's not like this is ever closed off... It sucks on this end for me too. After saying goodbye I just don't know anything unless you tell me."

"I have love for you too... I don't want you to think I don't, because I do...It's just the nature of what this is."

"I DEEPLY care about you. I appreciate you SO much. I admire you. SO much admiration. I admire you SO MUCH."

"Our sessions...we never run out of things to talk about. there's always so many things to talk about, and so much curiosity - things I'm so interested in, in our sessions. Because you're such an interesting person. You have such an interesting work situation, life, and you're just such an interesting person."

"Even though we meet frequently, there's so much to talk about because you're just such a thoughtful person."

"Client...I could meet with you for a LONG TIME."

"Client...I just need you to know...that i care about you SO so much. And I want...I have SO much WANT for you. I want SO badly to end your suffering. And I will do whatever you want. Whatever you need to help you end your suffering. Whether that means connecting you to someone else. Whatever that means, whatever role I am in this. I will do whatever you need. I care about you so much."

"Client...I care about you...SO much. You are just this...AMAZING human... with.. so much talent, such a great sense of humor, and so kind. I can't just give up on that. I know you're suffering, but I'm asking you to please hang in there with me. I'm asking you to keep showing up for me. Don't give up on this."

"i DEEPLY respect you. You are SO inspiring. I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass either. Boundaries ARE hard. It's hard on this end for me too. Because I CARE about you."

"I would LOVE to sit here and have friendship conversations with you, because I REALLY enjoy talking to you, and you are just SO...interesting. But I promise you, the way I help my friends is NOT as effective as I am being your therapist."

"I care DEEPLY about what you came in here for. I care SO MUCH about your well being. There's nothing you could say in here that would make me not want to be your therapist. I need you to know, it's hard on this end for me too. You are not TOO MUCH."

"It's just that it's very difficult for me to hear how hard things are for you, how much pain you're in, how much you're suffering, that you're in a bad place."

"You're not inconveniencing me, I called YOU. i called you because ive been wanting to talk to YOU."

"Client...I'm just...I'm very fortunate to know you, and...I'm grateful to be a person that you trust."

"You are an AMAZING human. You. Are. An INSPIRATIONAL person."

"With you in particular, our sessions go by really fast."

"You have so many beautiful qualities to share with the world."

"I want to remind you of the light you have inside, and all of the warmth it gives to the people around you."

"I'll walk with you as long as you want me to."

"It feels good to hear your laugh. I like hearing your laugh."

"You are frequently on my mind. I FREQUENTLY think about you between sessions."

In the middle of a session, she insisted on letting her next client know that they would need to either push their appointment back that day, or reschedule their session. I kept refusing, she kept insisting. She told me "This is how i was trained. THIS is my priority. YOU are my priority." I eventually gave in and our session went over around 2 hours.

"You shake things up and keep my life from being on autopilot."

"I couldn't regulate, because I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I want you to know that I’ve held our work with care and respect. You have a way of turning emotion into something expressive and real. Your insight, creativity, and presence have made this work both memorable and meaningful. I know you carry a heaviness, but you also carry a light that feels unmistakable to the people in your orbit."

"This ending reflects my limits, not yours. While I’ve valued our work deeply, I’ve reached a point where I can no longer hold the therapeutic frame with the consistency and clarity you deserve. That decision comes from a place of integrity, not from anything lacking in you."

"I will miss knowing you and I will wonder how life is unfolding for you, not as your therapist but as someone who witnessed your courage."

She self disclosed A LOT. She shared so much of herself with me. So much about her life. So many details I shouldn't know about. We shared interests and sometimes spent so much time just bonding that we eventually had to set timers to make sure we moved onto the actual work I wanted to do.

She'd tell me about certain milestones or achievements after they happened, before I'd even had the chance to ask. I'd get really excited and try to do something to celebrate her in some way. She scheduled me on her birthday even though I told her I didn't want to risk ruining it (we kept getting into arguments around this time), and she said it was a risk she was willing to take.

I was deeply invested in her well being with the impulse to prioritize her feelings over my own, but she repeatedly told me not to take care of her. I've seen her lose her composure. Like when we borderline yelled at each other.

I have disorganized attachment, and she was inconsistent throughout the entirety of our work.

After one of the lowest points of my life and escalated boundary crossing, she suddenly slammed the breaks on everything. She read a list of boundaries her supervisor wrote off a piece of paper -- she even broke one of them that very session. She didn't stick to any them, except 1 (no hugs). She became more clinical and detached, but denied things had changed. I regressed after that, left almost every session activated, and stopped scheduling sessions, but she convinced me to come back.

Before I came back, she said if I kept showing up, she'd keep showing up too. Then she asked me what kind of relationship I wanted with her, and I told her I missed the way she used to speak to me. She said that wasn't something she could offer, she couldn't responsibly hold the weight her words carried for me, and we've reached an impasse. I told her she never should've taken me on as a client if she couldn't handle the responsibility, and that she lied when she said I wasn't too much. She told me our session tomorrow would be our final one.

During our final session she was a wreck. She said couldn't regulate because she couldn't stop thinking about me, that she felt it in her body, that there was "so much WANT," that boundaries were really murky, and that she wasn't completely sure why she was ending things. And even though there's so much want, she was sticking with her decision.

The night of our final session she updated my safety plan. A few days after our final session at 1:24 AM, she sent me a 6 page long treatment summary, a 3 page list of referrals and resources with narratives about why she picked each one for me, and a goodbye message.

We stayed in contact for about 4-5 months after, for logistical reasons.

There was so much left unsaid between us, and I couldn't get past it. This summer, my last therapist suggested I send a letter to her office. So I did. She texted me saying she received my letter and couldn't correspond further.

If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you for reading.

The ending absolutely devastated me. It's been a year since our final session and she still haunts my mind every single day. I still cry over her often. Yes, I jumped right back into therapy after her. She was my 6th therapist, and I'm now on therapist #10 (not including group, SSP, or ED specialist). Yes, I've worked on processing my relationship with her.

I don't want to reduce her to the harm she caused because our time together was transformative.

Ways I've improved:

No more panic attacks, no more emotional outbursts, left abusive relationship, boundaries, stabilized FND symptoms, far less people pleasing, I'm more assertive, way more confident, significant improvement in communication, I'm more consistent, learned how to regulate myself, reduction in flashbacks, no self harming, I stopped self isolating, I've been letting people in, my relationships are honest and so much stronger, and I'm alive. There's so so soooo much more I could say. I could go on and on about all the ways she helped me.

I haven't experienced even a fraction of that amount of growth with any other therapist, YET.

Hi! I (25F), see a wonderful trauma therapist (30s/M) weekly, and it’s taken a while, but I really do feel safe and comfortable in sessions with him. Mostly, at least. We’re working on it, lol.

Yesterday, I went to the ER for a potential GI obstruction (4 weeks of no GI movement… a nightmare lol) and ended up getting a CT scan. The abdominal section of the scan came back okay, but they incidentally found a nodule in my lungs during a scan that will require follow up scans.

Part of why I’m in therapy is because my mom died when I was a younger from cancer, and I was her caregiver, and it really messed me up. So this was jarring and unsettling to hear, even if it turns out to be benign. Especially being a mom now myself.

All this to say, I want to bring up the lung nodule and fears surrounding it, but am embarrassed that essentially constipation brought me to the ER. Will a therapist (especially someone of the opposite gender) find this gross or TMI to bring up? I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Thank you. :,)

Hi there,

i have been trying to find affordable therapy for a while now for myself, and i recently found out that my university offers access to an app called Wisdom Wellbeing where you can create weekly mood charts and stuff like that, but also there’s access to a whatsapp chat where you can talk to someone through messages and also video call. I was wondering if anyone on here has used it or has heard anything about it and is it worth jt?

I have never used therapy before but i’ve came to a point in my life where i believe i need it and i want to find a decent one that will be worth my while and will help. Thank you in advance:)

Hello, I'm currently looking for an online consultation for psychotherapy, but I don't have any idea what app or website offers the best healthcare for me. Do you guys have any recommendations for a doctor? I'm honestly new to this, and I don't have an idea how to choose a doctor that fits what I need. I just want to find a doctor who gives great medical care. Also, do you guys have a website or app that you use for online consultations? Salamat :)

Hi all, I’ve been in quite a rough patch this year and was thinking to go back to therapy. The issue is that I’m not entirely sure if I should reach out to my old therapist, who I’ve been seeing on and off since 2019, or if I should try and find a new one.

I reached out to my old T last year in Sept but never made it to our session as I was really going through it and had a panic attack right before it began. I told T that I was too unwell to attend, omitting the fact that I had a panic attack. Regardless, she was very understanding and offered to reschedule the session which I didn’t end up responding to.

Would it be okay to reach out to her again and see if she would be willing to arrange another session for me? She has never said no to me before… I am also quite apprehensive about seeking out a new practitioner as I’ll need to build rapport and go through the whole process again hence why I would prefer to stick to my old T

Any thoughts are welcome!

So basically let me start my story, I have a friend named let's say for this post Sunena and now let me first give you context about her. We became friends in our school time when we were in 11th standard currently we are in 3rd year of college and we have been best friends for a heck lot of time. Now the thing is Sunena is just like me (i give you my personallity context as well i am a very sweet person i welcome everyone's opinion and also make sure no-ones get upset because of me) she is just like me (basically the all the qualities i need to have someone call her my girlfriend she has all) now let me come back to story sunena got a boyfriend in early Feb of 2026 and i always doubted that person let's call him Aryan that he is not good for him because of what sunena has told me about him and because of which i decided to catfish him i took another person's identity and tried to catfish him and he got into the trap which means he is loyal to sunena and after that i told sunena everything about what i did. she confronted (but she didn't tell him that i was that girl because aryan also didn't like) and after that they fighted and sunena is confused as fuck like what to do. her thoughts are leaning towards the past moments they spent and i am trying to rational to tell her not to do it. and now comes the part which is eating up a lot of space in my mind let me tell you sunena is very close to me and i am also very close to her and she explicitly mentions multiple times i come in her family and you are one she will choose after her mother father and brother then its me no-one else and she says no-one could replace that. and also her family knows me (some of her family members suspect that there is something is going on between us like some relationship stuff and all) but it is not. and I AM CONFESSING HERE FIRST TIME THAT I LOVE HER ALOT. but couldn't say it ever because first we never ever went to explore that lens, second can't risk the fact she is my best friend if i say it everything might awkward and also third being she is already in relationship and it won't be right morally to tell her about my feelings. that's why whenever she says something positive about him like were there relationship can continue i try to show her the negative side that this might also happen and because of which i am really losing my rationality and don't know what to do. it's really a tough situation for me that idk what to do i would love to hear your opinions what you guys suggest

I've been to therapy before, mostly gestalt, but I stopped after a couple of months because I was changing jobs and needed time to process everything. At the time I felt like we'd discussed a lot, but I wasn't ready to be more vulnerable. Still, therapy gave me a lot of support and strength, and the changes I made in my life were happening alongside our sessions.

Since then, I've become increasingly burnt out and anxious, and I've realised there are other issues I need to work through. I wasn't keen on returning to therapy because of the cost and having to repeat my story, but I wanted in-person sessions, so I decided to try a CBT/EMDR therapist with 20 years of experience.

On the very first session we jumped in practicing EMDR which apparently the therapist has never tried before with other clients on first sesh, and I was the first one ever who they tried it with (I was pretty distraught and they wanted to ease that). We have discusses some topics of what I felt were the issues, where I thought they came from but at the same time we also discussed a lot of things about the therapist and their other clients. For example, therapist told me about their multiple marriages, their kids and when I shared about traveling to a place they shared their own experience of being there, and even though I stated I really like the place they said they never did and continued talking about their other traveling experiences. When I said something judgemental about myself, in order to make me feel better I guess, they asked whether I would exchange the trait I mentioned for another problem from another client (as in exchange my problem to theirs, their problem being worse). We spent the time laughing and also talking but it felt more upbeat and like talking to an older aunt, so pretty safe.

They suggested some things to try between sessions, like anchoring techniques, a morning routine, writing down things I'm grateful for, and experimenting with different clothing styles. Some of these ideas were helpful.However after the EMDR exercise, I couldn't sleep that night and my sleep difficulties and sadness continued throughout the week. I felt unusually discouraged about life. The therapist had mentioned that I might have intense dreams and could contact them if I needed help, but I didn't experience dreams and didn't reach out.

On session 2, I have expressed how my week went by, we ended up not doing the EMDR, T directly told me to reach out when I feel sad longer than two days in a row, or can't sleep or eat, also was very surprised why I didn't reach out, but for me that's not really even an option to consider tbh (felt like they really wanted me to reach out, even mentioned that since they are my T at the moment, I definitely should do it). We then started small talk and I decided to talk about overcoming bad habits like with food, to which T started saying whether I'd rather have their own problem and be their weight ( hinting that they had that problem and did what I did), we then started talking about emotions, I shared that I still feel the need to be mean to my parents (as in return the anger that I have within onto them) to which T started telling in detail about their mother and father, how they spent time growing up without them and that they realised that not all parents are meant to be loving or are capable of loving..... theeeeen just out of nowhere told me I need to accept that my mother has never loved me or doesn't love me. I hadn't said that I believed my mother never loved me. We hadn't explored our relationship in any depth, apart from briefly touching on a topic during the EMDR exercise in the first session (which was about the entire family).I told the therapist that I'd heard what they were saying but couldn't accept it because I didn't feel that way. I remember them agreeing that they could see I wasn't accepting it, but they continued to insist that I needed to understand and accept this.They said my life would become much easier once I accepted that my mother had never loved me.The whole interaction felt strange to me. It was as though they'd reached a conclusion about my mother based on their own childhood and experiences, and I was somehow failing to understand the truth they were trying to explain to me.

After the second session, I felt distressed and confused. Seeing my parents afterwards made it even harder because their behaviour reminded me of the love and support they've also shown me. I was left trying to reconcile my own experiences with this very definitive conclusion my therapist had given me.I already have plenty of my own thoughts, doubts and beliefs that I'm trying to work through. I went to therapy hoping to explore them, not to have a new conclusion about my family presented to me as a fact before we'd properly discussed it.

I don't want to assume they're a bad therapist or that they have bad intentions.But since starting therapy, I've felt sadder, less hopeful and more confused about what I'm supposed to take away from our sessions.

Have you ever encountered such behaviour? Is this just CBT/EMDR therapy? Need some advice.