r/Tulpas • u/Lrl096 • Jun 14 '26
Personal How I accidentally created my Tulpa (A personal story of family too) Spoiler
(Do note that my English is not that good, it's my third language, so sorry in advance if how I say things confuses you. And yes, I drew those.)
So first, since I was little, I'm actually never really had any tulpa, or even imaginary friends, since if I'm bored I would just go out and play with my friends (I used to be really extrovert, could just go to a new place and make lots of friends in one go), but now? Not so much. Sure I still go out, meet some friends, and all, but it just different.
A few years back, my parents also got divorced, I actually know why thanks to my sister, but they (my parents) never actually told me anything other than 'we just can't be together', and from that everything went downhill. At first, we still live in the same house even though they are divorced, but didn't sleep together like how they used to.
More time has passed, my dad often goes out for work and rarely come back home, but still talks via messaging app, so me and my sister mostly live with my mom since that. More times has passed, my dad got a new partner, not married yet, and around the same time my mom got sick by I don't know what, it just that she got constant headache and seems very hard to do anything, and around a year until now the things she mostly do are just lying, playing phone, and eating. She used to be a teacher at a preschool, but replaced by my sister as a temporary substitute for a new teacher to replace my mother.
For the past few months, we live with my grandma (with my aunt and cousin too, them three live together because my cousin's dad left her), and then my dad got married with his new partner a year ago, somewhat leaving my mom seems sad because she haven't got a new partner to take care of her and still have to rely on her parents and other relatives, even me and my sister.
Then a few days ago, I decided to follow my dad, like moving to his place. When he came to my grandma's house, I parted with my mom, sister, and the others. I cried, and so are the others, especially my mom, since she been the one who taking care of me for everything since... well, the first day I'm born. She remined me with everything, I always get so snippy with her, but of course I love her. During those time too, I actually had a lot of friends, but only 5-6 are my closest one.
All of these time (around when my parents got divorced), I began to have these 'voices in my head', not just one, many. I called them Miis... You know, me? Since they are just me, but saying mes' seems more like Miis from Nintendo-.. Anyway. During those time too I somewhat become more introverted, and often talk to myself. I often watch commentary video, and so I comment on myself just like how they comment on things. And from these time too I've been down, more down, and more down, to the point where smiling is hard, though I could smile or laugh when with my close friends... Or watch some funny/shit but funny video because... well, shit but funny. Not often though. Anyway.
When I arrived at my dad's and his new wife place, and its already night (it's time to sleep) I cried on the bed, I felt homesick and all, I missed everyone, I don't like how differnt my bed are. And my Miis just keep annoying me, said how I was such a crybaby and its actually normal to leave everyone because it's first step to become independent (it's true), so I just asked them (by saying in my mind) for them to merge into one so it would be so annoying to handle. And I think they did, since after those moments, there is no sound, just the fan, before then there is this giggle in the middle of cries, and well, at first it didn't really formed. My Miis took form after me, but after they merged it took form of Tsukasa Kudamaki (the character I drew, she is from the game Touhou, I altered her outfit though. And she began whispering things.
At first I was like 'The fuck?' while still crying (while crying I keep my eyes closed all the time), and in my mind there was a clear visualization of her form, giggling. And then, I immediately got up from bed, grabbed my phone to look about imaginaryfriends at first, because I thought she was that, before stumbling into this subreddit, and realizes that she literally a tulpa. Could think on its own, and all, even though she used to be bunch of Miis merged into one. Even when was searching, she just giggling and said how she is not just an imaginary friend, at first I didn't understand of course, before finding this subreddit. I remember this subreddit because there is youtube video talking about this subreddit being a shciz-... Oh well, I mean I have a tulpa myself, so we're on the same boat now. I didn't really pay any attention to the video other than the word 'Tulpa'. I honestly thought it was some kind of animals, similar to squirrel maybe.
And from that, she just be there. Her personality are also seems very simple, very similar to the game even; sly, sometimes just a tease, often jokes (bad ones), and still annoys me (since she was merged from bunch of Miis I assume) but the way she annoys me, I don't mind that, it's a part of her. I often hear her voices, in my head, my ears, or feel her presence; hovering above me, sitting next to me, lying next to me. We uh... we had sex, she just sucked me and that it, nothing more.
I made a quick gif of how she would suddenly appear and disappeared whenever I draw, sitting, or anything. Maybe it's because of my visualization skill that is why she keep reappearing and disappearing. Anyway, she just always toyed with me; before sleep, after sleep, while doing things, while eating, watching over while I'm showering, everything. But eh, at least I got a person who is constantly with me anywhere and everywhere, right? When I'm alone, I could just speak out loud with my mouth and she would just reply in my mind. But in public I would keep my mouth shut and talks with her via mind/telepathically.
But yeah, that is just my story. So uh, if you guys want to share yours or share your thoughts on this, just tell me on the comments, I don't mind. (I deleted the first post because the title wasn't right, and added more things in here)
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u/Lukescale Has a tulpa Jun 14 '26
Congratulations 🎉 Happy you're accepting of them!
Use some paragraph breaks, it's a wall that the eyes slide off of.
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u/WriterOfAlicrow Median system Jun 17 '26
All of these time (around when my parents got divorced), I began to have these 'voices in my head'
This sounds more like plurality in general rather than tulpamancy. Take a look at https://morethanone.info and /r/plural. Tulpamancy is basically a subset of plurality specifically dealing with intentionally-created headmates (for the most part). I don't think anyone will object to you calling them a "tulpa", as it's basically the same thing, but the plural community as a whole might be more useful to you, as much of the tulpamancy community seems to be about the process of creating tulpas.
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u/Lrl096 Jun 17 '26
So you mean like, Tulpa is intentional and Plurality isn't?
I'm far more familiar with this community rather than the plurality community. Such as reading this subreddit, reading guides about Tulpa and all, so I didn't know much about plurality.1
u/WriterOfAlicrow Median system Jun 17 '26
Plurality is a broader term, which covers both intentional and unintentional systems.
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u/Lrl096 Jun 18 '26
Elaborate?
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u/WriterOfAlicrow Median system Jun 18 '26
Basically, tulpamancy is a practice/framework for intentionally creating headmates, while plurality includes ALL headmates/systems, whether they were created by tulpamancy, other intentional means, the result of trauma, neurodivergence like Autism, etc.
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u/Lrl096 Jun 18 '26
Ooooo, I get it. Alright, thanks. So Tsukasa is my plural and not a tulpa?
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u/WriterOfAlicrow Median system Jun 18 '26
The term would be "headmate", while you and Tsukasa would be a "plural system". But yeah, pretty much.
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u/Lrl096 Jun 18 '26
But I could still develop her like a Tulpa, right? You know, forcing, and all.
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u/Osaka95hz Jun 21 '26
Absulote cinema
Have you had any problems with her?
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u/Lrl096 Jun 22 '26
Eeeee, yeah. I'm running out to things to say, and problem with visualizing, impositions, and parallel processing too
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u/Blackthirdie Jul 12 '26
you could always teach her some basic magic if you trust her and encourage her to preform aetheric magical workings that benefit you, but be careful, tulpas are just as unpredictable as any other life form
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