Hard agree. Deadbedrooms, like a lot of advice reddit used to have more nuance in the posts and responses. Now its all about leaving the situation because the other person fucked up. Its never about personal responsibilities and one's role in the situation.
The people who resolve or improve their situations tend to move on, meaning those who remain in those communities are generally the ones who won’t or cant fix things. Which in turn means that the institutional support and advice to be found slowly gets more and more useless and toxic.
And that’s assuming it doesn’t get well known and turned into a creative writing sub.
For me, its the mod community. When I first joined it several years ago, it was half-way decent. Then, a few bad apples made it all about themselves and you got the Gordon Ramsey treatment regardless of how much or how little at fault you were. Women usually got the oh dear oh dear treatment while men who vented usually got the "you fucking donkey" treatment.
Seven years ago is also when my spouse was dealing with some major depression that spiraled into a trip to the grippy sock hotel. I don’t know if there’s a worst time to ask for sex. But I imagine when you’re bringing someone home from inpatient psychiatric care is high on the list. And after that, months turned into years faster than I expected. Other things happened, like me changing genders, that didn’t help bring back the spark. 🤷♀️
Damn people are all different indeed. My partner and I haven't had sex in 1.5 months, and neither of us is bothered by it. It's just neither of us cares about sex that much, plus we've been overwhelmed by other stuff in life, including our wedding which happened 3 weeks ago, so we've been joking that we haven't had postmarital sex (inverting the idea that premarital sex is sinful)
Like I literally can't fathom being desperate for sex. And it's not like my libido is low or anything. But I guess being demi/greyasexual helps lol
I don't feel like I'm owed and everything else is wonderful... it's just been a long time and I'm tired of having my own disappointment framed as a demand
Not hard if you're on antidepressants lol. I haven't really had a sex drive since I was around 30 and am now 38. I had a very high libido prior to medication, now even when I'm off them for awhile it doesn't come back.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm asexual because of how unrelatable I find most conversations like this.
My situation is a bit unusual but I've not gotten physical with anyone for so long it's not something I even think about. Kinda like a voluntary celibate who doesn't hate the opposite sex, but I'm just here in the world for other things
A) These comics are super extra horny because sex gets attention and this artist has found their niche. The artists relationship may really be like this, but I'm confident it's not typical for most sexual relationships.
B) I've found that if I'm anticipating sex and have had enjoyable sex then I will be horny and think about sex. But if I don't expect sex I'll just not be horny for long periods of time, sometimes years. I think this is pretty normal or slightly leaning towards lower libido then average.
I'd guess that you could have enjoyable sex if you found the right person and decided to peruse it, but it's like a fun hobby. If you do get opportunity you might find it's a fun activity, or you might find you're not really into. But not even exploring it is a valid choice too, you don't need to have it in your life if you don't want to.
Similarly, I hate whenever I am feeling down or insecure about myself and I go to my parter for comfort their response is “if I didn’t love you, I would not get hard”. As if thats all they would love me for is my body. My ex was like that and my husband is only a little like that.
My hands the moment the weather shifts from 75F+ with 50%+ humidity to 60F with 50% humidity. It may not sound like much but that temp difference is just enough for the amount of oils on my skin normally to drop enough for problems to start.
Usually I have (at most) a week from when the shift happens to notice and start lotioning, I didn't notice this year and the skin split where my fingers meet my palms in 2 places last night.
Dry as in laundry, moist bed sheets are the worst, but lizard people need them to survive. The longer laundry stays dry, the more likely their rough, scaly under-skin will show.
I dont see any comics or threads on men being too tired for sex and then feeling like the bad person because now their partner is hurt or angry with them
Frankly, I’m someone whom has a high drive, but due to spouses hyper mobility issues, we usually have to schedule our fun around the day before or after the chiropractor is in office.
Has your spouse tried a PT? They're actually qualified who can teach them exercises that would work with the hypermobility. Certainly better than a chiropractor who is not a real doctor and likely to injure them.
Im hypermobile and it's affected my back. I do PT exercises and strength training
This! A PT might also be able to inform them of how to go about sex in a way that aggravates the condition less. Hyper mobility is a bastard, but certain positions cause more strain than others
Quick Google search shows that legally speaking they aren’t considered medical professionals. They are considered healthcare professionals. They have the same amount of “recognized medical credentials.” As chiropractic or massage, or physical therapy, all those professions legally don’t qualify as medical practices at least in the USA. Pretty much the only things that qualify as medical practices are doctors, and anyone that has the authority to prescribe, or administer medication.
Point being is that these folks are arguing against one thing, in favor of another and two thirds of the recommendations here are disqualified for the same reasons they are claiming chiropractic is quackery.
If chiropractors are legitimate then you should have no problem answering my questions, how does your chiropractor reset a slipped rib or wrist misalignment (carpal instability?) non-surgically that you said he does for you or has walked you through doing it?
Weird, I’m in Canada and they are definitely medical professionals over here. They aren’t doctors (they get a masters degree instead), but they are still recognized and valued in the medical field. It’s odd to me that the US doesn’t view PTs as medical professionals. There are so many studies that show physical therapy increases the odds of positive outcomes post surgery/injury, and most doctors in Canada refer patients to PT for post-op care to regain mobility.
I’m a surgeon in the US. PTs/OTs are absolutely medical professionals, I wouldn’t be able to get most of my patients discharged home without them. Don’t believe a person who’s espousing the virtues of chiropractors and is hiding behind semantics to defend it
Her chiropractor is also her PT. The guy has both licenses, a bit about myself my occupation is a sports and medical massage therapist, she got T boned years ago in a low speed accident when someone tried to turn right through an intersection from the left hand lane when she had right of way. Got pretty bad whiplash as a result because the spine is much better at surviving forward and backwards motion strain vs side to side, we were referred to her current chiro/pt, and while it took about a year of her getting treated by him and me working out the muscles spasms from the whiplash one to two times a day. By the end of that first year she was in better physical condition than when we started dating nearly 8 years prior.
As a result, he’s the only chiropractor I trust to work on me or my wife. When I’ve misaligned my wrist, dislocated my shoulder, or slipped a rib, he’s either helped me reset it, or talked me through how to reset it myself so I could safely get to the ER.
How do you physically non-surgically reset a slipped rib, or a wrist for that matter? Don’t know what you mean by “wrist misalignment” but if you’re talking carpal instability then I also would like to know how your chiropractor can manipulate that in any way that could help non-surgically?
If people just looked up what their chiropractors tell them they are doing, it’s pretty easy to spot the BS. But they never do, because people who go to chiropractors generally don’t have a habit of doing that otherwise they never would have gone in the first place lol. There’s a reason doctors encourage patients to read and learn more about their condition and what the plan is, something tells me chiropractors aren’t as keen on telling their “patients” that.
These named procedures don’t make much sense anatomically or pathologically speaking
Man, it’s so weird that as a “massage therapist” you don’t understand the difference between a licensed physical therapist and an alternative medicine practitioner that removes the ghosts from your bones.
A licensed physical therapist is legally considered an alternative medicine practitioner, I as a licensed massage therapist at the top of my field with over a decades experience have less schooling and credibility than a chiropractor that went through six years of chiropractic school. If you are considered a Healthcare professional but not a medical professional then you are legally considered “alternative medicine” or “alternative therapy.”
At least in the USA specifically mind you, I can’t speak for other countries. Basically the difference between “healthcare professional” and “medical professional” is if you are legally allowed to prescribe/administer medicine and/or treatment. That’s it, now physical therapists and massage therapists alike can show a patient stretches/exercises they would suggest doing but they cannot “prescribe” anything.
Hell Chiropractic you have to go to a school right? While I work in a state where I am required to have an accredited massage therapy license, each state has its own requirements on hours/training, and some states/countries you don’t even need a license to practice massage therapy, you just have to claim you have X amount of hours experience.
Despite my profession having a MUCH longer history internationally speaking than chiropractic, both chiropractic and physical therapy are more accepted as a healthcare profession than Massage, because they are held to far stricter training/requirements than my own.
So yeah, I cant sit here and say that medical massage is more useful than physical therapy or chiropractic or superior too, because as a medical massage therapist in order for us to bill insurance typically requires us to be working under a physical therapist or chiropractor for insurance to actually pay us in less than 2-3 years for services rendered.
It’s only in the past 8 years or so that insurance companies have actually been treating us as a healthcare profession. It was so infamously bad that when I was in school if you were going to accept insurance clients at your private practice, you had to have an alternative income source and treat insurance clients as “Pro Bono” work until the insurance companies decided to pay you, or you worked for a chiro, a PT, or had a working relationship with a local doctor who could submit the insurance claims for you.
Don't go to a chiropractor!! They aren't recognized by any medical community, they are legitimately doing more harm to you than good, and are considered a dangerous sudo science.
You'll probably argue something about how they help. But it's placebo.
Ask any orthopedist or physical therapist and they will tell you that chiropractory works as a quick release of "relief" which creates the illusion of healing. But what it actually does is create an addiction within your muscles for that quick release. Leading your body to continue to contort itself to allow for that to happen.
It's much harder. But physical therapy for that sort of pain will do so much more for long term health.
I've always wondered how a system protects against a person/executable enabling sudo and using it maliciously. I guess the actual situations in which someone would have access to your shell and system settings simultaneously is rare, but it's still oddly accessible. Plus I assume there's some way of enabling it in bash, there always is.
Bro, there is literally four year chiropractic schools and yes, chiropractic, massage therapy, and physical therapy goes hand in hand. Now I would say don’t go to any chiropractor willing to adjust WITHOUT seeing an xray. That’s a permanent accident waiting to happen, and shows they aren’t concerned about there own liability or the patient. But if the chiropractor demands an X-ray before working on you, or even better has an x-ray tech on site, then they are usually a much more reliable source.
That being said, there is a joke in the medical community, that is synonymous with all medical professionals. “What do you call a med student that graduated in the bottom half of their graduating class? Doctor.”
The point of the joke being not all medical practitioners are cut from the same cloth, so always ALWAYS get a second opinion.
Chiropractor schools are, as I said, not recognized by the medical community. Chiropractors are not considered doctors. And their degrees are completely inapplicable to any real job in the medical field.
It does not go hand in hand. It is notoriously dangerous.
There’s really no point trying to convince them. Chiro is one of the biggest scams because it has managed to gain a level of legitimacy through concerted grifting.
Everyone in the medical field knows it’s bogus. And when you look into the history of the “profession” it’s startling and grim. It’s one of the last refugia of the snake oil salesmen.
But you’re not going to convince someone who has already blown a fat wad on chiro, so don’t bother. Just let them get their neck cracked until they receive a Darwin Award.
Fair fair. But also, getting informed by other people online, causing me to see a doctor, and learn directly how bad it was, is the reason I was able to heal. And I want the same for other people. If I can I still even an ounce of doubt, maybe it helps eventually.
Bro, physical therapy, chiropractic, physiotherapy, massage therapy are all “not recognized by the medical community.” None of these are considered a “Medical practice.” They are all considered a “Healthcare practice.” Which is why they are covered under medical insurance. The only things considered a “Medical practice.” Are doctors, anesthesiologists, phlebotomy, basically anything that requires hypodermic needles, or giving/prescribing medicine.
If you don't trust some random dude on the internet. Literally just talk to an orthopedist. They are an actual doctor and will explain in detail exactly how badly it fucks you up.
I was on your side of the argument a few years ago. And I had chronic backpain. I switched to just targeted physical therapy and an actual treatment plan. and after 2 years I barely get any back pain anymore. Whereas my siblings (we all have the same issue) who see a chiropractor, are only getting worse each year.
No, it’s actually not considered a medical degree according to Google. It’s still considered a “healthcare profession”. Sure the title is considered a “Docterate of Physical Therapy” so they can claim they are a doctor but they have to legally identify that they are not a “Medical Doctor.”. Do I think it should be considered a medical degree? Certainly, you have to go through 6-7 years of schooling for it so they earned the right to call themselves doctor, but they are 1000% legally distinct. That’s my only issue here. I get the skepticism of chiropractic, and that’s fine. I was a skeptic to myself once.
But to bash on one alternative healthcare practice for not being a medically recognized practice, and then claim that other alternative healthcare practices are medically recognized practices when they legally are not? That is what annoys me. The hypocrisy it takes to bash on it for not being legally recognized as a medical practice and then in the same breath promote other alternative healthcare treatments not legally recognized as a medical practice is astounding. Like JFC this is easy to look up yet so many people are pearl clutching over the debate of “my alternative medicine is best medicine.”
Graduating at bottom of class is still graduating. At medical school no less. Are they as good as other doctors? Probably not but leagues ahead of a chiropractor. I’ve known plenty of physical therapists and all warn against chiropractic. It’s snake oil. It helps in short term but no long term benefits
And? The first attempts to use anesthesia on infants during surgery was what 1987 because doctors believed infants couldn’t feel pain. Hell it was still a theoretical practice until like 1999.
The point is all medical practice starts off as a theoretical crock of shit. But thankfully as humans and science develops we learn and grow (usually) as a society.
Yeah, it’s an unfortunate condition. But the positions she prefers tend to be the ones that fold someone in half. As a result I do try and make it a point to stretch her out before and after to limit the issues, but it’s why we use professionals like physical therapy, massage, and chiropractic.
As a person both with a high drive and a maxed out VA rating for my back, it’s really a killer. It also fucks with my head since I’m always worried about how much I’m going to hurt which leads to other issues. But I’ve started the process for follow on treatments so I guess I’ll see where it goes
He lifted up the bedsheets to show off that he's hard for her (and it's gold and shiny because that's the treasure she wants. And censored so she can post it on other websites, like Facebook)
Men being tired is different then a woman. If a woman is tired she'll downright deny you. If a man is tired, we just don't have the energy to move like we usually would during and require you to take the lead. The dick is willing but the body is weak.
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u/B-Z_B-S 4h ago
Relevant xkcd: