Hard agree. Deadbedrooms, like a lot of advice reddit used to have more nuance in the posts and responses. Now its all about leaving the situation because the other person fucked up. Its never about personal responsibilities and one's role in the situation.
The people who resolve or improve their situations tend to move on, meaning those who remain in those communities are generally the ones who won’t or cant fix things. Which in turn means that the institutional support and advice to be found slowly gets more and more useless and toxic.
And that’s assuming it doesn’t get well known and turned into a creative writing sub.
For me, its the mod community. When I first joined it several years ago, it was half-way decent. Then, a few bad apples made it all about themselves and you got the Gordon Ramsey treatment regardless of how much or how little at fault you were. Women usually got the oh dear oh dear treatment while men who vented usually got the "you fucking donkey" treatment.
Seven years ago is also when my spouse was dealing with some major depression that spiraled into a trip to the grippy sock hotel. I don’t know if there’s a worst time to ask for sex. But I imagine when you’re bringing someone home from inpatient psychiatric care is high on the list. And after that, months turned into years faster than I expected. Other things happened, like me changing genders, that didn’t help bring back the spark. 🤷♀️
Damn people are all different indeed. My partner and I haven't had sex in 1.5 months, and neither of us is bothered by it. It's just neither of us cares about sex that much, plus we've been overwhelmed by other stuff in life, including our wedding which happened 3 weeks ago, so we've been joking that we haven't had postmarital sex (inverting the idea that premarital sex is sinful)
Like I literally can't fathom being desperate for sex. And it's not like my libido is low or anything. But I guess being demi/greyasexual helps lol
I don't feel like I'm owed and everything else is wonderful... it's just been a long time and I'm tired of having my own disappointment framed as a demand
Not hard if you're on antidepressants lol. I haven't really had a sex drive since I was around 30 and am now 38. I had a very high libido prior to medication, now even when I'm off them for awhile it doesn't come back.
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u/Sp00ky-Nerd 5h ago
7 days isn’t difficult. Try 7 years 😢