I (F35) need some outside perspective because I'm starting to fall for a man (M37) who's amazing in almost every way.

We've been seeing each other for six months and I'm developing real feelings for him. He's funny, intelligent, emotionally attuned, and we work in the same industry, so we have heaps to talk about. He cooks incredible food, is loving and present in a way I'm not used to, and has a wonderful little daughter whom I adore.

Now we're talking about being exclusive and calling ourselves a couple, which feels both exciting and terrifying. I really like this man, and I don't want to throw away something that could turn into a wonderful relationship. I can genuinely picture myself with him.

The problem? Our sex life is shit.

And I don't know how big a deal this is or what I'm supposed to do. I am a very sexual person and so does he seem to be.

I'm attracted to him. I like his body, enjoy being physically close to him, and WANT a fun, fulfilling sex life with him. But when we actually get in to it I'm often disappointed.

He's clumsy. Does weird things with his hands. Can go from gently stroking my cheek to having his hand on my privates in two secs. He gets so excited that he seems to want to do EVERYTHING at once, without really tuning into what's happening between us. It's a bit like having sex with a teenage boy.

He seems to think our sex life is absolutely amazing. He regularly tells me how incredible it is with me, while I'm lying there like Yoo - Are we having two completely different experiences?

For context, he divorced five years ago after a VERY long relationship. During the last years of that relationship they had open marriage, and since the divorce he's dated casually. So it's not like he has no sexual experience. And yet when we're together, he just seems inexperienced.

I've tried communicating. Gently and more directly. I've shown him what I like, told him what doesn't work for me, tried guiding him during sex. We've also talked about it outside the bedroom, and he seems to understand exactly what I mean.

But when we get back into it we're right back at square one :((((

Sometimes I try taking the lead, but then he'll suddenly introduce something completely different that throws off the entire flow. I lose my rhythm, get distracted, and have to mentally start over, all while trying to be sweet and affectionate so he doesn't feel bad.

I genuinely just want a man who can read the room and respond to what's happening in the moment.

Six months in and I’m wondering if this is still a matter of communication and practice? Or are there people who simply don't click sexually, even when the attraction and emotional connection are there?
And how long do you give it before you have to be honest with yourself?

I've even wondered if an open relationship could be an option as he's experienced one before. Is it insane to consider opening a relationship before even starting one? I don't want to use other people as a solution to something we haven't managed to figure out between us.
At the same time, I don't want to spend the rest of the relationship missing a sex life that fulfils me.

Am I being too picky? Are my expectations unrealistic? Should I give it more time, be more direct, or accept that this is how it’ll be?

TL:DR
I have met the man of my dreams and he wants to be my boyfriend, but he sucks at sex and doesn’t improve even with feedback and gentle guidance. It’s been 6 months and I don’t know if we should make it official. Is the sex doomed? What do I do?

Have a buddy who just turned 29, he’s a pretty conventional looking guy, not ugly by any means and is a good guy to have around. He’s been noticeably down recently and when I finally got it out of him he said that he’s thinking of giving up on dating.

He missed out on pre-Covid dating because Uncle Sam shot him all over the world like a pinball but I’m just surprised he hasn’t found anyone to date yet and shoots far lower than he should when he does. He says it doesn’t bother him much but I have physically watched the light leave his eyes. He’s withdrawn now, keeps to himself, and never reaches out anymore. Dude deserves so much better than this hellscape that is northern Ohio.

Please lmk all the feelings, thought processes, and honestly just everything that you would feel. I was planning on doing this to a guy, but I really don’t want him to get weirded out or uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure he used to really like me up until a month ago.I’m not sure about now because we stopped making eye contact and all that. But do you think he would still be happy even if he might not like me anymore? Please lmk my chances

I've known a female coworker for around six months, and recently I've noticed some changes in how she behaves around me.

Earlier, whenever we accidentally touched hands or legs, she would immediately pull away. These were purely accidental situations. Recently, I've noticed she doesn't seem to react the same way when similar situations happen.

Yesterday, I asked her whether am i behaving good. She replied that girls like guys with a sense of humour and said that since she feels comfortable around me, girls would be waiting in a queue for me.

I've also noticed she's been making more jokes around me lately, which wasn't common before.

A few days ago, I texted her saying I had something to tell her, and she immediately called me.

One of my coworkers also suggested that we take pictures together and enjoy an upcoming office event.

I sometimes find her cute, so I've started wondering how to interpret these interactions. At the same time, I understand that she might simply feel comfortable with me as a friend.

I've never been in a relationship before, so I don't have much experience distinguishing friendly behaviour from romantic interest.

I'm not asking anyone to determine whether she likes me based on a few interactions. I'd like to hear from people with more experience.

How do you distinguish between someone becoming more comfortable with you as a friend and someone showing romantic interest? What signs are worth paying attention to, and how do you avoid reading too much into ordinary friendliness, especially in a workplace?

I'd appreciate your perspectives and experiences.

Go to your local state fair. That’s it that the message. Being chronically online and the manosphere has really done wonders to obliterate men’s self esteem and I think the best way to combat this is simply to go out in real life and see what the average couple looks like.

Your state fair has a very representative sample and is not too costly to get into. Couples of all ages and finance brackets will be there. Despite how many times someone can tell you online that most married and dating men are not 6ft and do not have 6 figures nothing will work like seeking the couples in real life. I think this works best if you play a game of iSPY where you specifically focus on taken guys that look like you. It could also help you see what type of girl goes for a guy that looks like you so you can narrow your dating efforts.

In the past I would have recommended the mall but that’s no longer good. I really think the state fair is the perfect place for this dating mindset exercise but yall comment other places you have in mind.

Edit:
Sorry for the spelling error, fair not fare.Also sorry to the international people. A state fair is a big festival with rides and cheap greasy food that Americans go to.

Here are some other places people in the comments mentioned.
• Theme parks
•Walmart
•Renaissance Festivals
•Oktoberfest
•Mall
•Country music fests
•Farmers Market

A little context is that I recently got dumped by a situationship that started casual and got serious. When I thought we were a bit more than fuck buddies, he ended it abruptly and it really shook me. My roommate set me up with a coworker of hers, he’s honestly perfect, and the only reason he’s available is because he told her he doesn’t do anything with coworkers.

The three of us talked when he came to pick me up and we went to my favorite reasonably priced restaurant. We had great, easy going conversation all evening and he made it clear that he isn’t looking for anything short term, and asked if that was a deal breaker for me. I said absolutely not and we were both pleased to hear that from each other. The flirting was over the top, I might as well have had hearts in my eyes while he spoke to me, and we left the restaurant. He asked if I wanted to go home.

I had seen a photo of him and heard about him from my roommate, I knew I was more than attracted enough to have sex tonight. I thought that if I got f-boy vibes from him, it would be a one time thing. But he was incredibly wholesome while being flirty. I told him he could drop me off if he wanted but my roommate might be home and I’d rather be alone. He picked up on it and we went to his place. We couldn’t finish a glass of wine before kissing. I flat out asked if I’d see him again, we’d have sex, but I’d rather not be hurt if he didn’t want to go on another date. He said yes I’d see him again and we ended up having very sweet sex.

He dropped me off and I have butterflies in my stomach, but I can’t help the feeling that he isn’t taking me serious for having sex on the first date. We both said we’re looking for something long term, and that he’d see me again. Is this something he said just to hook up? Did I make myself seem like I’m too easy? I’m sure I’ll have an answer soon, but I’m curious if anyone has any thoughts.

Is it actually normal for both parties whether the man or the woman to be slow responders? For instance, if the woman responds slowly for whatever reason, should we as men match her speed and be slow responders too? At 25 years old, playing these "fake slow response" mind games is just exhausting. I'd really appreciate some advice.

I've been trying to work out what to put on my dating profile.

To me, short term is like a relationship that's maybe like 2-10 months long (which I'd be fine with)

But when I've asked my friends they've all said it just means you're looking for hook ups rather than an actual relationship (which I'm not looking for)

Any further thoughts?

Would you normally assume she’s just being friendly, or would it make you think she might be interested in you?

Since I (m, 30s) started online dating in 2025, I've been ghosted quite a bit, but this recent one takes the cake.

Match with a woman in her mid 30s, get along well, share mutual interest and desires, decide we would like to meet, she gives me her number, we text two days before the date with the time and place.

Day of the date, I let her know in the morning that I'm looking forward to getting together later in the evening, no response. I figure she might be busy at work as she is an attorney.

30 minutes before the date, I let her know I'm heading over, no response.

Wait at the location for 15 minutes, she doesn't show up.

Send her a message ​that I hope everything is OK on her end and that I'm heading home. That was last week, no response.

I realize now I should have never gone to the location without a confirmation.

I get it, we're all replaceable and she could have found someone else, no problem, I understand the game.

She doesn't owe me a date, nor any explanation, but have we lost our sense of humanity, kindness, and compassion in the process?

I was at this bar/cafe last night for this weekly social event and ended up meeting this super interesting woman. We were chatting for about an hour or so. We both asked each other questions back and forth, we laughed some, etc. I thought that we were both having a good time? However, at the end of the conversation she said she was going to say hi to her friend and that it was nice meeting me. I just said it was nice to meet her too and we parted ways. I'm so mad at myself for not asking for her number. I regretted not asking immediately so hard.

I do plan on going back next Friday in case she's there. I don't even care as much about her giving me her number, I just need closure. I keep wondering if she would have offered if she was interested? But then just this morning I was telling the farmer I get my chicken from about the dilemma and another woman next to us chimed in saying she probably was like "man why didn't that guy ask for my number" and now I'm really regretting not asking.

Am I coping here? What are the chances she might have been interested despite not offering her number first? I guess she did seem sort of shy and described herself as more introverted and such. I just keep thinking about it. I do plan on going back even just to get the closure of a clear rejection. Should I probably not get my hopes up? Can any women here offer any perspective?

I have been talking to a man who has moderate mental health issues at best and claims to have given up on medications after the 3-4 he tried for a few years didn't work for him. He has admitted to disassociating at times and had what he called "a crash out" recently. AFAIK, he's not violent and is, overall, a kind, honest person, but I still have no desire to date him knowing how untreated MI can negatively impact a relationship. In my past experience dating a partner who, at the very least, had depression, he was irritable and quick to frustration, which made me not want to be around him.

I'm not convinced this guy will be the same, but I'd rather not find out, if that makes sense.

I know that we all technically have the right to reject anyone for any reason but a small part of me still feels guilty -- he's desperately lonely and would love to have a girlfriend but, OTOH, it's not my job to save him and make him happy. We did go on one date last December and it went well enough, but I have no desire to see him again, obviously.

What do you think? I am an overthinker for sure and maybe that is what is happening here.

So im 25F and have always considered myself bisexual, although I recently got out of a 6 year relationship with another woman.

Welllll it was time to get back out there and as a very feminine presenting bisexual, I mostly only get attention from men, which I obviously like too.

I met this guy, we hung once with friends casually at work (we work at a bar). After, he immediately found my phone number was texting me non stop. We would have a mix of casual conversation getting to know each other, with some flirty messages too. We planned to meet up in 4 days from then, and were texting all the time leading up to it.

The day came, I went to his house planning to watch the baseball game and then a scary movie afterwards, with hinting towards sleeping together but neither of us downright saying it or expecting it. He cooked me dinner, we watched the game with his roomate then went to his bed. We talked for a little longer then one thing led to another…..

He didn’t last very long but it was still great and afterwards just kinda cuddled and watched the movie. He fell asleep quickly and I stayed over as he told me i should as I had been drinking too. The morning came and convo was casual, and I left.

Ok now it’s about 24 hours later, I sent him the polite thanks for having me over message would like to see you again and he said he wants to too. Now any time he responds to simple texts it takes way longer for him to reply. Before he was initiating every convo but in the past day not so much. I also know he was busy working an event all day & night yesterday and is hungover from it today.

We went from texting quite literally every hour and at night just for hours straight texting back and forth to after that not texting very much at all. I know it’s only 24 hours but I’m confused😩 I’ve been out of the game for too long hahah!

Is this how men typically act after a night like that? Is he hinting he doesn’t want to keep talking to me or just taking time to not seem like he’s chasing? We never really established what the relationship was and we both expressed being independent people but open for more if it comes. But when we were texting leading up, we would talk about doing other things too like going mini golfing, going out to dinner and drinks, him taking me to his league, etc.

Am I overthinking this ? I just simply don’t know how men act in situations like this. Does this mean i should stop trying with him or just give it time and space so it’s not moving so quickly?

- a confused girl lol.

I ran into my crush outside of class. We were just chatting casually, and without thinking, I showed him my ripped hands like: "Damn, after training my calluses are completely torn." I just wanted to share something that happened today, like you would with a friend.

He looked at them, nodded, and then looked down at his own hands, which, of course, were perfectly smooth with no calluses at all.

As soon as he did that, I felt ashamed. I looked at myself: wearing baggy sweatpants after the gym, showing off rough, bloody hands, while he is just this sweet normal guy.

I suddenly felt so incredibly unfeminine and awkward. It felt like I had just cemented myself as "one of the guys" forever and completely ruined any chance of him ever seeing me as a girl. We already greet each other with a handshake like the boys in class. I'm studying to be a welder, and this is a normal greeting. But they don't greet other girls like that, and I feel like a guy :( My voice is pretty low too

I’m home now and I honestly feel like crying, even though I know it sounds stupid. Is this really not a very good thing? How to deal with this?

I know I’ll probably get roasted if this is common knowledge, but I've been out of the dating scene for four years and my head is spinning. Had a third date last night with a guy I really liked. Everything felt great, conversation flowed, we had pasta and a glass of wine. When the check arrived, I immediately reached for my purse and said "do you want to split this or should I get the tip?"

He waved his hand, smiled, and said "put that away, I've got tonight covered, you can get the next one." I thanked him twice, told him how sweet it was, and honestly thought nothing of it. We even kissed goodbye. Then at 8 AM today I wake up to a paragraph saying he was "turned off by how quickly I put my card away" and that I failed the "wallet test" because polite etiquette means insisting at least three times so he doesnt feel used.

Wait, is this an actual unspoken rule people follow now?? i sat on my bed for an hour wondering if I’m just completely socially inept. I woudl have gladly paid for the whole meal if he asked, but now I feel gross and cheap. Do I even bother explaining myself or is this as insane as it feels?

I am a woman with a very high libido and feel strong sexual urges when I don’t have a sexual partner. My first sexual partner was a year ago and he set my standards pretty high and was a lot of my firsts from making out to a lot of foreplay. He also ended up being my second actual relationship ever, my first was in like high school. When we started off I just wanted something casual because it takes a lot to be serious with someone. But even when we were “casual” he was very attentive to my body, never asked for much himself, would kiss me all over my face and treat me like something precious and would say things like “You’re so beautiful”, “Your body is art”, and would just look at me with so much adoration. The reason we eventually became serious was because he treated me very well in general he treated me like a princess, never let me lift a finger, and made me feel so precious. The reason things ended was because he was dealing with personal issues and was struggling to take care of himself and find a job but he would pour so much into me.

I got Hinge for a week looking for something casual and ended up going on dates with two guys.

The first guy took me on two well-planned dates and kept asking me all these deep questions about how I wanted to be treated and said I still seemed closed off and he wanted me to open up. He was not good with foreplay on the second date and kept wanting to have sex but I wasn’t ready to. So we ended up cuddling and just talking about stuff for a few hours. I called him to ask if he wanted to continue this to pursue something with the intention of something serious or just purely casual, because if it was just casual I didn’t want to put in all this energy and he couldn’t give me a definitive answer so I ended it. I didn’t want to be in a “situationship” with a guy who knew nothing about foreplay.

The second guy was really cool and we matched each others vibe and energy and I ended up developing a bit of a friend crush. We were both looking for something casual and on the second date he cooked me dinner and we did stuff that night. He did eat me out and it was very good and I also did some stuff for him like give him handjobs and a blowjob. He finished like 3 times that night. I told him that I hadn’t had sex yet and he was like oh shit because he didn’t know. I decided I wasn’t ready but some things throughout the night made me feel uncomfortable even though I mostly enjoyed it. He was moaning stuff like it was taking all his self control not to fuck me and when were cuddling in the morning I felt a little grossed out idk why. I left something at his place so he came a few days later to drop it off and wanted to talk. He told me that he doesn’t think that he should be the first guy I have sex with, and I deserve for my first time to be with a guy I love. He said I’m super pretty and sweet and should go find myself a boyfriend who treats me like a princess. He said at first he thought I was an emotionally unavailable baddie, but it seems like I’m a lover girl trying to run away from it. Some of what he said honestly resonated with me. The experience was also kind of important to him since I was the first girl he got with since things ended in his long term relationship.

I’m conflicted because I have a high libido and want to have sex eventually when I feel comfortable and I get a lot of pleasure out of just foreplay. Its not the same when I just touch myself. It takes a lot for me to want to take a guy seriously and idk for sure when I will meet a guy like that. But I don’t know if I should wait to have sex for the first time with a guy I love.

Yesterday I posted asking where men my age (44) were hiding, and I had so much fun reading all your comments. But then I received a LOT of messages from men over 40. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT 🤗 I think I have my answer: you were all hiding here on Reddit! As I mentioned in some of the comments, I’m not on any dating apps at the moment, but yesterday honestly felt like I was on one. Now I’m curious, Reddit… has anyone here actually met someone special through Reddit? I’d love to read some Reddit love stories. Here’s my post from yesterday, in case you missed it: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/MCP7LexRYB

I think every man can relate to the experience of having a woman genuinely ask us about how we feel and then watching their eyes glaze over as they get the "ick" in real time. It's a very common frustration where men will say "women want us to be vulnerable, but leave when we are". I can say with confidence that even when I make it a point to not overshare or trauma dump... and let her be the one to ask for more info, it's like what she really wanted was for me to just say nothing.

So I guess Ill say ask it a different way. Women, to what extent do you want to be responsible for our emotional well-being?

I know zero isn't the answer. Nobody wants their partner to be unphased when they're sad or upset. Clearly, the desire to make someone's day better is informed, at least in part, by a genuine desire to see them be happy and positive. This means that obviously a man has to be SOMEWHAT affected by your emotional state and how you communicate with him.

So where do you draw the line? How can you tell if a man talking about his insecurities is too much?

Was friend's with a guy for 10+ years. He knows I don't do casual or mess around with people. Eventually we started doing what everyone does to get into a relationship. Talking a lot more. Hanging out a lot more. Was my mistake in not asking him immediately if he wants to actually be in a relationship with me, I guess I just assumed that since he knows me well and has known me for so long, the feelings were mutual and that we were working up to something. We did get intimate. He eventually pulled away and is now seeing another girl. I reached out telling him how I felt about the situation, that being I was upset since we don't speak a lot or see each other unless I initiate and that I feel used. I didn't point my finger at him and just expressed feeling hurt and wanting to look past it and still wanting him in my circle. To which I've been met with radio silence, so now I really do feel like I was just used. What do y'all think?

Also, how do you get over this feeling? Over the past few months, it's made me get off of all social media and I just feel sorry for myself. On top of that, I hate it when I feel sorry for myself, so then I just feel worse about myself... if that makes any sense. I lost a potential relationship I wanted and a friend at the same time.

I hope it’s okay to post this here, sorry if it’s not x

I’m in my early 20s, I’ve been on dates with guys my age and older guys. I moved abroad on my own as a teenager, did my uni, have a nice job, gone on trips with my friends, I’m active, I’m happy with myself to be fair like I think I’ve become quite confident in the past few years.

I feel like most men my age are still kids. When I speak to them we’re so far from each other. Their only idea about future is their boys trip to Ibiza next year. Their mums do their washing and their biggest weekly expenses are vapes. I want to settle down, get married, have kids. I know it’s tough in this economy but if I date someone I want to know we both share this same goal and we’re working towards it. The reactions are always like ah yeah maybe when i’m like 35. I mean I don’t blame them, it’s pretty normal, nothing wrong with it but it just makes me feel hopeless. 

I like older men but I’m scared their intentions might not be the purest or I’m gonna get used or taken advantage of because they have more experience and know what to say. Every time I see a nice older guy all I’m thinking is well he can’t be as amazing as he seems because then he wouldn’t be single at his age. Idk I just worry. But on the other hand I am much more drawn to them, I prefer them physically, it’s easier for me to find them attractive than men my age. I’d love a confidant older guy who will lead and who I can look up to but the second I’m close to meeting one I shit myself thinking he’s 100% gonna harm me in some way.

I only had one serious adult relationship, he was 8 years older and we broke up after 2 years. He never mistreated me in any major way but when we were about to move in together he pulled back and said he wants to live like he did when he was younger, go to the pub more, isn’t ready for a full on relationship and he took back a lot of promises. The exact stuff I was hoping to not have to go through if I date a 30 yo instead of a 20 yo. So along with the fear of being manipulated by an older guy I’m also worried that they don’t actually have to be more mature but they’re better at pretending otherwise if they benefit from it.

I’m not looking to date again yet, I want to have this year just to myself, but I’ve been thinking like I don’t even know what kind of men to date? I’m absolutely sick of hearing I’m a delusional child and I should enjoy my freedom, explore, date casually, experience more men, go on nights out and not bind myself to one man. I genuinely can’t. I’m repusled by the idea of any other form of dating than dating to marry. Most people don’t take me seriously, they just smile at me compassionately like I have a disability and they hope I’ll grow out of it one day. 

Do I give up dating and start again in my 30s when guys start wanting the same things I want? Or do I go for older? Do I hope for someone my age with the same mindset? I just don’t know how to date to find what I’d like to have. It’s making me overthink myself, like I know exactly what I want but I’m failing massively at looking for it. Idk what to do genuinely

30m Never dated before nor have I ever had a girl tell me she liked me before. Ive been on apps for years and never got a match that didnt turn out to be a bot or a girl wanting more followers on her social media. Ive asked out girls before at school but always got rejected. The only time in my life I can say I got a relationship was an entirely online ldr I was back in hs. Other than that I basically have no relationship experience whatsoever. Im a short 5'3 filipino guy. I dont consider myself attractive but I dont think im unattractive either.

I hate that a man will be judged harshly for never having been in a relationship before in his life at 30 and people will assume a lot of bad things about him solely because of this. I hate that people will bascially think relationships are everything and judge a man and his worth largely on this. I cant stand that I havent had a girl in my life before and I hate it just as much that ill be seen in a bad light because ive never been in one.

Tons of dudes ive seen are shitty human beings but because of their ability to get relationships people wont be as harsh on them as they will on me.

Hey everyone!

Do you think it's possible to be in a relationship with someone where you fall in love with their personality and inner qualities first, and physical attraction only develops later? Can attraction actually grow over time, or does it have to be there from the beginning?

For example, I've known this guy for a really long time, and he's genuinely such a great person. His personality and inner qualities are amazing, and he's incredibly sweet and lovable. He's not usually the type I'm attracted to, even though I do think he's objectively really good-looking.

The reason I'm asking is that I don't want to lead him on by going on dates with him, especially since he's been making an effort to pursue me. I really don't want to hurt him or give him false hope if there's no chance of me developing those feelings for him.

Do you think there's a chance that if we started dating, I could develop stronger feelings for him over time and eventually fall truly, deeply in love with him? Has anyone experienced something like this?

*i've never been in love soo yep. Im not familiar with this*

Anyone else here who happens to be ND have trouble, or a “lag” at least going from the state of mind of wanting to please their partner to accepting the pleasure of sex itself? For me, I start off in a mindset where my goal is to please my partner as much as I can - it is difficult for me to focus on that part of “reading her body language” to pleasure her and simultaneously enjoying the arousal I myself am feeling… after she’s been fairly satisfied, I then try to change my frame of mind to feeing the pleasure of it all myself. In short, I can’t naturally do both at the same time. Has anyone else ever experienced this??

I (24F) am dating a guy (32M) I’ve liked for quite some time. There was always something intriguing about him that drew me to him, and I found myself wanting to get to know him on a deeper level. For a couple of months, I tried showing him how attracted I was to him and how much I genuinely liked him, but he told me he didn’t see me that way. Eventually, I stopped pursuing him and accepted that it wasn’t going to happen.

Fast-forward to September, and he admitted that he actually did have feelings for me but had been afraid to acknowledge them. He tends to be avoidant emotionally, and I thought I understood what I was getting myself into. I knew he hadn’t been in a relationship in around seven or eight years, so I understood that dating again might be an adjustment for him.

Now that we’re actually dating, though, I feel like I’m seeing a different side of him, and I’m starting to question whether this is something I want. We’ve only been together for a couple of weeks, and I’m already having doubts about whether we’re compatible.

Another concern is that he seems to have a problem with alcohol. When he drinks, he tends to get caught up in his feelings and accuse me of things that aren’t happening or have never happened. It leaves me feeling confused because I’m being questioned or blamed for things I haven’t done. I understand that everyone has their own struggles, and I don’t expect anyone to be perfect, but I’m starting to wonder whether I want to deal with these kinds of issues in a relationship, especially this early on.

The biggest thing I’m struggling with is that I don’t see myself wanting this kind of dynamic for my future. I want a relationship where I feel emotionally secure, where we can communicate openly, trust each other, and work through problems together. I don’t want to feel like I have to constantly prove myself, navigate accusations, or wonder how things will change when alcohol is involved. I know relationships take patience and effort, but I also know there are certain things I’m not willing to compromise on long-term.

At the same time, I feel awful even thinking about ending things. I liked him for so long, and for the longest time, I wanted him to want me back. Now that he finally does, I feel guilty that I’m questioning everything so soon. Knowing that he hasn’t dated anyone in seven or eight years makes me feel even worse because I know opening himself up to someone again might not have been easy for him. I don’t want him to feel like I led him on or that his effort to let someone into his life was for nothing.

But I also wonder if I’m holding on to the idea of him that I had before we started dating rather than accepting who he is now that I’m actually experiencing a relationship with him. Maybe I liked the anticipation and the idea of finally being with him, but now that I’m seeing what a relationship with him might realistically look like, I’m realizing it might not be what I want.

To make things more complicated, we work together, so ending things could make our day-to-day interactions awkward. I also don’t want to hurt him or make things uncomfortable at work, but I don’t think those things should be the only reasons I stay in a relationship I’m already questioning.

Am I wrong for wanting to end things after only a couple of weeks? Why do I feel so guilty about potentially walking away from someone I wanted for so long, even though I’m starting to realize he might not be the right person for me? Should I give him more time, considering he hasn’t been in a relationship in years, or should I trust what I’m feeling now? How do I know whether I’m giving up too soon or simply recognizing that the relationship isn’t what I want for my future?

Please I need advice.