since my childhood, i see how my mom assigns me housechores, wanted me to help her in the kitchen, while not expecting that from my brother, if my brothers and i are sitting together, she usually picks me to tell me any sort of work, it’s not like they are busy or something, i am a doctor to be and so i was away from my home for some years in which i was not very used to do these house chores and i am usually yelled at with “ no guy will tolerate you if you are like this” meanwhile i usually make dinner and rarely breakfast and for the rest of the cleaning thing we have a maid, i set up my wardrobe, i do my bed and somehow it is not enough. and when maid is on leave some how things are expected to be done by me, waste dishes are full in the sink, beds undone, they don’t tell me to do it but they don’t it either. and when my mom’s away it’s either food coming from a restaurant or it’s only me who’s supposed to cook for my brothers and father. my brothers make breakfasts in the morning for themselves. i am instructed by my mom to what to make, how to manage the household in her absence.

and it is not like my brothers are busy working, they are college students in their 20s too who are home by 3pm.

and yesterday i was talking to my brother about how my frnd’s parents are having fights cause it’s so much burden on her mom, and her father doesn’t work, they are financially struggling because of her father’s decisions which are my brother goes like “ is she sleeping hungry? she should be grateful for whatever her husband is managing to do, and i was so confused.

what is your islamic perspective, help me understand how it is supposed to be according to deen?

Thank you to Hindu sisters and brothers like this who stop Muslim men and females from going to garba, which is not only haram but possibly falls under shirk. How does a non Muslim neighbor know of the religion better than some of our youth?

By stopping the sisters from going she stops any possibly ruckus, fitna and a the chance for anti Muslim attacks or propaganda. Not only that but she also refunded the sisters too and advised them. May Allah swa guide her to Islam, this is what true harmony looks like

Excerpt from Mufti Ahmed Khanpuri’s speeches and notes.

Allah says:
“Allah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged”
(4:148)

This is consideration given to the weakness and circumstances of the person who is wronged. In other words, if someone has wronged another person or if someone has been subjected to injustice and has been harmed.

The purpose is that when the grievance has been expressed, the resentment and displeasure held in the heart may be relieved and removed. So, the heart is cleansed of resentment.

Because when a person is inflicted with injustice, an emotion develops in the heart against the person who wronged them—a feeling of anger and agitation.

To eliminate this feeling, permission has been granted. This is what is meant in the verse:

“…except by the one who has been wronged”
(4:148)

As the Prophet (saw) said, “Do not hate one another (La tabagadhu)…”
(Bukhari 6076)

Therefore, to protect the heart from resentment or hatred.

Tell the person directly, “What you did hurt me.”

Once you say that, the pent-up frustration in your heart will be released and it will no longer remain bottled up inside you.

But if you do not express it, then you are consciously choosing to keep that resentment in your heart. You are nurturing it and allowing it to grow.

This is dangerous. It can destroy you and destroy the other person.

Assalamualikum How many of you were there? Sorry because I am late but how many of you were there?

There is one set of posts I see often in this sub and other subs of Muslim majority countries. Islam is referenced as the guiding star and unconditional justification for morality and day to day life. For example: ‘Is it haram or halal to do X’, ‘Don’t do Y because it is clearly mentioned as haram’, etc. instead of ‘what are pros and cons of X’ or ‘Don’t do Y because it impacts your life in this way’.

So I am wondering if Muslims at least in India are more religious than others? Or do more religious Muslims actually end up participating in the subs? Or is my sample biased and there is no such pattern?

Assalamoalaikum,

I am a big introvert and the friends I have around me are not religious.

I am looking for making some genuine friends and have company of good people around me.

I am looking for people who take their deen seriously.

We can benefit from each other for both worldly affairs and affairs of the hereafter.

I am 28M from Mumbai. I am a software engineer, I do trading and also trying to build my own business.

I would prefer people from around me but people from anywhere in India is okay.

Dm me if you're interested :)

Hi, so i just saw a video of a sanghi woman harassing a muslim worker of utkarsh dairy ....

Though the owner defended the guy... Was any action taken or what happened to the muslim worker??

Please be kind if you're gonna respond to this, i am asking genuinely.

So my husband's family follows the Hanafi Madhab, i am not Indian and i don't follow only 1 specific madhab personally. For me, seafood is halal, including sauces made of such ingredients, but apparently not in his even though he himself is okay with it. I wanna cook something using oyster sauce, it'll be in the same kitchen, same utensils, i'm also gonna disclose the ingredient to everyone. but i'm so afraid of cross-contamination or their judgment on it. What do you think about it if you follow this ruling?

Saudi Arabia used the two scapegoats to distract from the state allowing a man who cursed the prophet pbuh and supported rss like activities to be pardoned. Now a lot of sanghi and Hinduvta are celebrating and even using this event to curse Islam and incite anti Muslim hate more. Simply we need to continue reporting, translating their posts and reporting it so more eyes are brought on it to the global world and to the populations and authorities in the gulf states.

Here’s some of what I mentioned we should do here: Indian Muslims in the gulf and their role in stopping Hinduvta networks

As many of you know much of the funding the RSS networks get home is from BJP supporters and such in the gulf who work in Saudi Arabia and are Qatar and Kuwait and other such countries. As seen in recent times despite overtures from UAE who allowed them to run free, many of the good Muslims of the gulf have no tolerance for the sanghi and their hatred for their Muslim neighbors and Islam.

The thing is most of them are simply unaware of it.
Let gulf authorities and the gulf Muslims know of the sanghis taking advantage of their generosity. Hence why I think we should follow up steps and take note from western leftists when it comes to reporting racists or from our Sri Lankan Muslim brothers.

1. Everytime you see a sanghi or BJP, or Hinduvta supporter commenting filth about Muslims, mocking Gaza or Islam or our prophet pbuh make sure to record it. Screenshot it, translate it into Arabic and/or English.

2. Make sure to report every and each instance to authorities to inform them of the Hinduvta hate mongers inciting hate. Don’t let them just run carefree in the gulf with their hate. Report the act of hate as hate speech is taken seriously in the gulf, as seen with Hinduvta members being deported or arrested for these acts.

If any of you feel bad, just remember India has even more draconian laws with how they abuse FIR

My parents had always kept tabs on me that if i am talking to a boy, they don't want me to make male friends and i am completely okay with it, my mom taught me to prey salah from an young age and make sure i never miss any and i am grateful for it.

but the thing is my parents don't give my brothers the same treatment. I am the only one who has been taught religious things in the family and when i talked about it to my mother that why she doesn't tell my brothers to prey salah as well and she said that they are boys and it's responsibility of the women of the house to carry on the traditional values since boys couldn't be controlled. I was so angry at my mother's statement but i can't talk back to her.

I was raised as a very deciplined child since childhood but my brothers arn't bro, they can talk back to my parents and my parents wouldn't say anything to them but when i raise my voice even a little, the whole family would start deciplining me, they would go as far as to slap me.

I feel disheartened by all this. One my brother smoke and sometimes even drinks alcohol and has girlfriend still my parents wouldn't say anything to him, they are just grateful whenever he comes home at time and don't go out much with friends.

Why this double standard? My mother even restricted me to go out with my female friends because she thinks they would spoil me.

And this is the same in my extented family too, boys in their family would be having girlfriend, doing haram things but girls would be completely traditional.

Not in the sense of nagging you for it constantly, but passively starting the search for a match because (apparently) finding good match can take a LONGG time.

Im 19 and my mum just asked me to draft my biodata because people ask for it (😭?). I told her that i wont be meeting/talking/entertaining anyone for the next 3-4 years and shes like yeah, sure, just give me the draft so i can send it to people if someone asks. Is this normal?

Also actually thinking about writing the biodata has been very funny for me because i feel like ive nothing except for religious requirements to add to it😭. Im realising just now that other than my religious commitments, i have nothing to add to it for myself; no skills, no interests nada💀. I CANT EVEN COOK OR PAINT. Imma take this as a much needed wake up call and touch some grass and do something productive with my life

(Ps: im NOT looking for marriage. This is a genuine question and brothers please do not take this as an invitation to slide into my dms)

Recently, I have been watching common concepts in political science and drawing parallel to the current situation in India.

We can find common toolkit being used by the government. We don't even have to take the name but by just watching the description it becomes clear who is being described.

source

TL;DR: I'm a Sunni Muslim man from India, who wanted to marry a Sunni Muslim woman from Kashmir. Our relationship came under family pressure in June after her sister-in-law discovered it. It is now October. She believes her conservative family will never accept her choice, says she cannot face the consequences of challenging them, and has repeatedly told me to move on. I initially gave her time, hoping things might improve, but our communication has dwindled to nothing. I want to understand the Islamic principles surrounding consent, the wali, and unjust obstruction of marriage, as well as what legitimate options exist when a woman genuinely wants to marry but fears family retaliation. I also need honest advice about respecting her decision and moving forward.

Assalamu alaikum.

I'm looking for sincere, informed advice from Muslims who understand Islamic marriage principles and, ideally, have experience with family opposition to marriage. I'm not looking for people to tell me simply to follow my heart, nor do I want to be encouraged to ignore someone's wishes in the name of fighting for love.

I want to understand what Islam actually teaches, what options may legitimately exist, and what I should do when the person I love no longer believes a future together is possible.

1. What happened

I'm an adult Sunni Muslim man from India. I fell in love with an adult Sunni Muslim woman from Kashmir. We were involved for a few months, discussed marriage, and developed strong feelings for each other. My intention was to marry her properly and build a life together, not maintain a secret relationship indefinitely.

In June, her sister-in-law discovered our relationship, and the family pressure that followed became increasingly difficult for her. It is now October, and the situation has not improved.

She has repeatedly told me that her family is extremely conservative and rigid and that there is nobody within the family who would reasonably support her choosing her own partner. She believes that approaching another relative to mediate would not help.

She has also witnessed a cousin being beaten and mistreated by family after a relationship came to light. The man involved was reportedly financially established and Kashmiri himself. This seems to have reinforced her belief that even a seemingly suitable partner may not protect a woman from family opposition.

She believes she cannot fight her family, does not have the emotional strength to endure the consequences, and cannot see a realistic way forward. She is not financially independent either.

I cannot know everything she feels, but I have tried to take her fears seriously rather than dismiss them as excuses.

2. Where things stand now

When this first happened in June, I tried giving her time. I hoped the immediate pressure might ease and that we might eventually be able to discuss a future calmly.

But four months have passed, and our communication has dwindled to almost nothing. She does not talk to me on calls. At times, I have tried reopening conversations through emotional text messages because I struggled to accept that there might be no way forward.

I also sent her a voice note explaining my feelings and my hope that we might find a legitimate solution. She declined to engage.

She has explicitly told me to move on, stop discussing the relationship, and leave her alone.

I have written many other messages and possible solutions privately, but those drafts have not been sent.

I still struggle with the thought that her circumstances may have made her feel that there is no choice available to her. I wonder whether there are options neither of us has properly considered. But I also understand that I cannot assume she secretly wants to continue the relationship or that my intentions give me the right to keep contacting her.

I want to distinguish between the general Islamic question of what options a woman may have when facing family obstruction and the very different question of what I should do when this particular woman has told me to stop.

3. The Islamic questions I am struggling with

A. Consent and the wali

1. What are the established Sunni scholarly positions on an adult woman's consent and the role of the wali in marriage?
2. How do the different Sunni madhhabs approach a situation in which an adult woman genuinely wants to marry a particular man but her wali or family refuses?
3. What distinguishes legitimate parental concerns about a prospective spouse from unjust obstruction of a marriage?

I would appreciate references to reputable scholars or recognised sources, rather than isolated quotations or oversimplified claims that Islam either gives parents complete control or makes family involvement irrelevant.

B. If the family unjustly obstructs a marriage

1. If a woman genuinely wants to marry someone and her wali unjustly prevents it, what legitimate processes exist within Sunni Islamic jurisprudence?
2. Can a qualified scholar, recognised religious authority, qadi where applicable, or another appropriate body help assess such a situation? How does this vary by madhhab and the legal system in the country concerned?
3. If there is no reasonable family member who can mediate, what alternatives are recognised by qualified scholars?

I am not asking for a shortcut to bypass Islamic requirements. I want to understand the correct process and the limits of what is permissible.

C. Family pressure and possible harm

1. If a woman fears threats, violence, confinement, or retaliation for choosing her spouse, how should that risk affect the advice given to her?
2. What should someone do if family opposition goes beyond disapproval and becomes coercion? How can religious guidance be combined with appropriate legal and safety support?

I understand that an answer about what may be permissible in principle is not automatically a recommendation for someone to leave home or marry independently. Safety, genuine consent, applicable law, and the circumstances would all matter.

4. The practical and emotional questions

I was willing to learn her language and culture, relocate if necessary, and approach her family respectfully if she wanted me to and it was safe. I wanted to make a sincere effort towards a halal marriage.

I have also considered whether an independent marriage could ever be possible in a situation involving unjust family obstruction. But I do not want to romanticise elopement, underestimate the risks, or make a decision on her behalf.

My questions now are:

• Given that she has repeatedly told me to move on, should I leave all further contact entirely to her?
• How do I accept the possibility that the relationship is over without dismissing the family pressures she has described?
• For Muslims who have experienced family opposition to marriage, what actually helped, and what made matters worse?
• How should someone reconcile sincere feelings for another person with the fact that the other person is unwilling or unable to pursue the relationship?

I fear that her family may eventually arrange a marriage for her, or that she may feel compelled to accept one. I do not know whether this is actually being planned; it is a fear, not a confirmed fact.

Part of me worries that stepping back means losing a future we might have had if there were a safe and legitimate way forward. But I also recognise that my urgency cannot determine her choices, and I cannot make her take risks she does not want to take.

5. What I am hoping to get from this community

I would be grateful for advice that distinguishes between:

• Established Islamic rulings and personal interpretations.
• The general principles of consent and the wali, and their application to a particular case.
• Legitimate religious processes and unsafe or legally problematic shortcuts.
• Family pressure that may be addressed through mediation and situations where safety must come first.
• The question of whether a marriage can be pursued in principle and the separate question of whether this particular relationship can continue.

If you have faced something similar, I would especially appreciate hearing what happened in practice, including the difficulties and consequences that may not be obvious from the outside.

I want to understand the Islamic principles properly and make responsible decisions about my own life.

I love her, and letting go has been difficult. I initially believed that giving her time might help, but four months have passed without a way forward. I genuinely do not know how to reconcile my feelings, my hopes for a halal marriage, and the reality that she has asked me to move on.

Please be honest, even if the answer is difficult to hear. If there is no viable path forward unless she independently and freely wants to pursue one, I need to accept that. I want to act in a way that is faithful to Islam, respectful of her autonomy, and responsible towards both of us.

Jazakum Allahu khayran for taking the time to read this.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I had been wanting to learn arabic for quite some time now, but couldn't find a proper structured and affordable option. However, recently i was able to get in touch with a person very well versed in arabic, and he was generous enough to offer his time for it. To make it worth his time, however, there need to be a few people joining the course. The classes will be held online through zoom on weekdays. The course will cover mainly speaking and learning the language along with the basic grammar reqd. So, if this sounds something you may be interested in, plz drop a dm and we can start as soon as we get enough people on board

Why can't Indian muslim, make famous political figures like Rahul Gandhi, Akhilesh, Dhruv Rathi. Why need people of different community to represent muslims?

Even when SP or congress win muslims are given hardly any positions? Why not support parties like AIMIM when they run elections in UP or other states? Why do they have to cling to non muslims and be used in the process.

Chrisanghis are a section of Christians in Kerala who support the BJP mainly because of their hate towards Muslims, which is why they are called Chrisanghi.

Some of them may not support the BJP but they share the same anti-muslim bigotry as the sanghis. Remember, the term love jihad was coined by a Christian in Kerala.

Please note that most Christians don't support the BJP in Kerala.