Hi, I (31M) am white European and my girlfriend (31F) is from India. We have been dating for almost 3 years. We both work abroad but have been keeping the relationship on the down low from her side of the family because they might not be comfortable with the idea of her dating outside traditional Indian norms. We currently rent two places so we don't live together officially, but we are still together almost every day.

I am traveling to visit India next month, and I might be introduced to her mom and dad. I have a rough idea of what to expect based on what she has told me (questions about personal background, career goals, family, etc). There is a potential problem regarding my family though. My elder brother has been convicted for dealing with drugs in the past. He has never been to jail though. But my family home got raided by the police once.

How would I approach this if I am asked about my siblings? Should I lie? I don't expect we'd have to live with them, she and I would want to be independent and live in our own place, but I am worried this might reflect bad on me, in my future in-laws eyes still.

I'm sure you guys know what I mean if you follow the news like I do (I personally don't want to acknowledge the current state of the world or (american) society but I have to eventually). I'm black and I've dated interracially before and I never had I bad experience with it, at least so far. For those who are in one, how do you guys manage to survive during these times and is it necessary to find love now?

I'm F19 he's M21 so this question mostly applies to men similar to his age. I met this guy on a language app and got to know him about three months ago. He's a very nice person, very kind and considerate. we have been talking everyday since the day we started talking. Now we even have developed a habit of sending each other good mornings and good nights everyday. After talking for a month or so, we shared pictures with each other and I think he looks pretty good and i find him attractive. When i asked him if he had dated before he said he hasn't ever dated or held hands with a girl. I told him thats quite surprising given his looks, he absolutely denied saying girls there tend to prefer taller men with better looks and all. He also mentioned he's an introvert and the only friends he has are his roommates. He's a CS major so kinda fits into the stereotype. He's also barely on social media and doesn't keep up with trends much.

I shared my picture too and he really complimented me saying i look beautiful and that he finds my facial features attractive. Furthermore, when we're talking he talks in a very cutesy manner and uses cute cute stickers which as far as i know is quite rare for men specially when they're talking to someone they're not dating?? But im not complaining i like it!

He even sends me pictures of any good food he's eating or anything interesting he comes across in his daily life even cute cats and dogs which i find quite wholesome and it genuinely makes my day that he saw those things and thought of taking a picture and sending it to me. Since we have been talking for so long, he just seems like a really nice person and i wouldn't mind dating him tbh. Now here comes the part I am quite unsure about, I'm from south asia (not india), 5'4, slim build and I'm considered to be fairly attractive here in my country and i've even been approached by boys in school saying they like me multiple times. But the thing is that the beauty standards for east asia is quite different so, that just makes me question if he actually finds me attractive or he was just being nice while complimenting me.

Most of our conversations are also carried on by me, I'm the one usually asking him if he has eaten his meals and im naturally a very curious person so i tend to ask a lot of questions about certain things and he has the patience of a saint so he explains them to me. He's usually quite busy with his studies and daily life and replies late to my messages sometimes due to that which is understandable, he also rarely initiates a conversation but if he does, mostly does it during weekends or when he's free on holiday. He has talked about things like the marriage situation there, the declining birth rate and the job market saying how bad the situation is getting.

So now, is it common for a guy to stick around for this long if they don't like a person. Or am i overthinking this whole thing too much and he sees me as nothing more than just a friend.

It’s a whole debate and a topic on TikTok. I’m not in the African American community but one friend of mine said that if a black person is married to non-black person they aren’t seen as supporting the community in some parts of that community. Farming while beige a prominent black tiktoker with a white wife got a lot of the attention for some reason.

Update- We broke up and I blocked him with little explanation as you guys said yesterday he doesn’t deserve one.

My post got removed by moderators yesterday but I was the 29 y/o black woman in the relationship with the 28 y/o white man and I was explaining an argument we had had about race that made me reconsider the relationship. I never got to update it, answer any questions or thank all the comments on the post so I would like to do that now (not sure if you do this on Reddit sorry I barely ever come on here so forgive me)

I just want to clarify some points

1. I do not constantly bring up race at all, HE does he always brings it up whether that be through reels or comments or he will ask me a question he is constantly talking about it that’s why I was very confused when he said he didn’t want to talk about it because if he didn’t why consistently bring it up. I thought it was because he cared about it and wanted to learn more about the black perspective

2. What attracted me to him in the first place was that I thought he was intelligent, kind and he treated me well I never for one second thought he thought this way that’s why I was trying to reconcile what was happening with what I had seen over the last 6 months that’s why I came here because I needed the external source of validation that what he had said was what he had meant (I know I shouldn’t have needed it but outside perspectives as harsh as they can be can be so helpful). Yes I got played and yes I have really learnt from this

3. I do not exclusively date white men at all I date men that I connect with I have dated plenty of black men I don’t have a particular preference and for all you Dr. Umar’s in here I don’t think that’s the right approach either.

Finally, I just want to say Thankyou so much for waking me the fuck up. There was several comments one from a white husband in his 50’s married to a black woman that so beautifully put it into perspective, several women that had gone through the same thing, educational ones as well, ones calling out my own self worth and where I see my value which honestly I needed to hear and I cannot express how grateful I am that even while I was minimizing my own experience you guys were able to help me see that I shouldn’t have been. Not sure if anyone will see this or know what I’m talking about but I appreciate you guys and thankyou for helping me get free of him ❤️

I traveled to Columbus Ohio for an Ohio State game anyway the next day I went downtown and to the Columbus museum of Art. It was the most interracial pairings I’ve seen in my life. It was BM/WW, AM/WW, BW/WM, AW/BM. Is Columbus more accepting of interracial relationships because I live in a rural part of Maryland and I don’t see it very often in my town.