r/mildlyinfuriating • • Aug 16 '26

Don't hug me I'm scared Grasshopper in my salad at restaurant

Post image

🤮🤮🤮

8.8k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

4.0k

u/CreamPyre Aug 16 '26

Least you know it was organic!

1.5k

u/Fun_Ad5823 Aug 16 '26

No pesticides round here

438

u/TOOLMFR Aug 16 '26

I wouldn't be so sure. I mean, it's dead isn't it?

290

u/Fardding_n_Shidding Aug 16 '26

It drowned in the salad juice šŸ˜”

67

u/SpeedBlitzX Aug 16 '26

I think that might have been vegetable oil from the salad dressing.

54

u/BlitzMalefitz Aug 16 '26

No it’s salad blood

4

u/SatiricalScrotum Aug 17 '26

Haven’t these people ever heard a lettuce scream?

8

u/MRbaconfacelol PURPLE Aug 17 '26

bro got lost in the sauce šŸ˜”

3

u/Expensive-Wedding-14 Aug 17 '26

Not to worry; he didn't eat much!

29

u/Blu3Dope Aug 16 '26

Atleast it drowned in mother nature's brussy juice

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8

u/RecessiveGenius69 Aug 16 '26

Must have used Pest Resides

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64

u/AlarmingDiamond9316 Aug 16 '26

13

u/Nick_XL Aug 16 '26

I quote this way too much when I'm going through Costco

7

u/LVuittonColostomyBag Aug 16 '26

Yo I literally just got home from Costco and said it while there lol

5

u/Accomplished_Will226 Aug 16 '26

Yeah people rage about how it has to be organic. Shit is organic and I don’t wanna eat that either.

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57

u/DMONEYDelano Aug 16 '26

Free protein ā€¼ļø

17

u/Low_Project_55 Aug 16 '26

Gonna be a surcharge for that extra protein.

9

u/SuzQP Aug 16 '26

"Please don't shout or wave it about or the rest will be wanting one, too!" šŸ›

7

u/HalfBlindKing Aug 16 '26

I always say if the critters don’t want to eat it, I probably don’t either

6

u/abanabee Aug 16 '26

No cyclosporiasis for you. Feel blessed!

4

u/Rootsnanny Aug 16 '26

I mean it was dead so the pesticides could have gotten to em first

5

u/CreamPyre Aug 16 '26

Or the cutting and washing and transport etc

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10

u/DecoyOne Aug 16 '26

With extra organs!

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5.7k

u/Boogiekc Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 17 '26

Can't get any fresher than that šŸ˜…

Edit: Never had this many upvotes and awards, appreciate everyone of em! ā¤ļø

1.4k

u/ass_smacktivist Aug 16 '26

I order mine with extra grasshopper so I can be sure the greens are organic

657

u/InterestingTry5190 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 17 '26

With what is happening with lettuce right now grasshopper is the safer option to get in a salad

204

u/Quietly_browsing Aug 16 '26

Unless the grasshopper ate the contaminated lettuce

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4

u/Simoxs7 Aug 17 '26

Whats the issue with lettuce?

14

u/togtpvg Aug 17 '26

A company that imports lettuce to the US recently took the blame for ā€œunknowinglyā€ giving us lettuce with a crop disease. It made a lot of people sick that ate lettuce from fast food restaurants.

6

u/Aspen9999 Aug 17 '26

Not imported, grown in AZ with prison labor, so there’s inmates shitting in the fields.

12

u/GranJan2 Aug 17 '26

Also grown in Mexico by Taylor Farms, parasite thought to come from recycled water contaminated with feces. Farm hadn’t been inspected in seven years, not much hope of things getting any better since RFK gutted the agency of people that do inspections. Also look out for berries, cilantro, basil. Probably more to follow

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45

u/Budget_Shallan Aug 16 '26

Haha! Though the horticulturalist in me needs to ruin your joke by pointing out that sprays are also used on organic produce. There’s just a list of allowed/not allowed sprays.

53

u/lyricoloratura Aug 17 '26

My favorite dad joke: you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a horticulture

20

u/waiulu Aug 17 '26

My Dad’s version was: You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.

14

u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 17 '26

Umm šŸ¤” I don’t think your dad was doing ā€œDad Jokesā€ right.

3

u/Soft_Construction793 Aug 17 '26

šŸ˜„ 🤣 šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜† šŸ˜„

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95

u/ledude1 Aug 16 '26

Free protein. SCORE!!!!

7

u/Candyman051882 Aug 17 '26

But he’s strict vegan!

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7

u/Decent-Point309 Aug 17 '26

Aren't they also known for tapeworms?

Free protein + free weight loss!

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30

u/BlackGuyBostonAccent Aug 16 '26

From grasshopper to table!

21

u/Silly_Double408 Aug 16 '26

It was extra cruel cause he had to watch the rest of his family be eaten while he was spared....

11

u/SympathyExciting1666 Aug 16 '26

Fresh from the garden 🤣🤣

21

u/PeterNippelstein Aug 16 '26

That way you know its organic

8

u/musclegymdude11 Aug 17 '26

Now this is the story all about how my salad got flipped-turned upside down…

6

u/fawwazallie Aug 16 '26

Had one from a salad box in Costco. Couldn't have been more fresh.

5

u/PinkPencils22 Aug 17 '26

Yum! This happened to someone I was having dinner with at the Rainbow Room in Manhattan (back when it was still a restaurant.) The staff were very embarrassed. Offered us desserts, free drinks--we could easily have demanded the dinner comped, but it was actually a company dinner being paid for by an outfit that was absolutely raking in the cash at that time (software bubble) so we didn't care. We asked them to bring us a round of grasshoppers. They were pretty good, I'd never had one before!

19

u/Aspen9999 Aug 17 '26

One time my niece ( age 5) got a lady bug on her salad at a restaurant. My sister quietly told the waitress, no big deal. But then the other kids all wanted ladybugs too šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
It was at a local steakhouse and for 75 cents you could add a small salad to a kids meal if you were wondering why the kid ordered a salad

11

u/Equivalent_Fault6206 Aug 17 '26

This is a fantastic story!! I love that all the other kids wanted ladybugs too! Fantastic! LOL

10

u/Aspen9999 Aug 17 '26

We were so trying not to make a big deal about it, but we had a 6 yr old, 3 5 yr olds and a 4 yr old at the table. I promise those kids knew how to behave but all of a sudden the talk was all about how come they didn’t get a ladybug and they wanted a ladybug! All 3 of us Moms trying to shush them.

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4

u/TomorrowHot8746 Aug 16 '26

Mmmm… protein…

6

u/No_Atmosphere_6348 Aug 16 '26

From farm to table.

14

u/Hoodedmastersin Aug 16 '26

That poor chef couldn’t get out of the mix in time

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932

u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26

I was a waitress and served a salad with a slug once. So you got the upgrade :)

416

u/bitchassh0e Aug 16 '26

I served one with a butterfly in it once. The customer said the wing flapped lol

118

u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26

Oh nooooooo - gah- it's so bad lol

Yeahhhh - I'm just going to go get my manager haha

64

u/bitchassh0e Aug 16 '26

Thankfully the girl just thought it was funny lol
A slug is crazy though! Were they mad? That definitely would have made me lose my appetite šŸ˜‚

38

u/Parabuthus Aug 16 '26

That one guy got rat lungworm from eating a slug. I'd be pissed.

6

u/tocahontas77 Aug 17 '26

What

43

u/ifoldkings Aug 17 '26

There was a young Australian guy named Sam Ballard who swallowed a slug on a dare. He contracted "rat lungworm disease". As a result, he suffered meningitis, went into a coma, became paralyzed, and ultimately died some time after.

9

u/tocahontas77 Aug 17 '26

Wow... That's very unfortunate. What an awful way to go out.

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37

u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26

They were not happy but were super polite about it. They left, though. This was before the days of internet so no bad reviews.

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4

u/Sea-Builder-8136 Aug 16 '26

I don't know… maybe slugs are yummy, like snails but no need to dig their corpse out of a shell. I never had snails but dined with several people throughout the years who frequently ordered them (usually escargot).

4

u/Le_Nabs Aug 17 '26

Escargot is just french for snail

13

u/peaveyftw Aug 16 '26

"I'm sorry, sir, is it too rare for you? I can have chef produce another that's closer to medium-well..."

9

u/ItsTheDCVR Aug 17 '26

I poured a bowl of store-bought salad and found a moth at the bottom of it :3

6

u/No-Coyote-9289 Aug 17 '26

My life will never be the same again after this post

3

u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 17 '26

Thats a nopity nope from me

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26

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '26

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8

u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26

I had never heard of that - wow

Welp we didnt see them again so it was either ok...or it wasn't 😬

6

u/Dinobob26 Aug 17 '26

A guy got paralyzed and then died after eating a slug from a dare. You could’ve sued the shit out of that place i reckon. Could’ve been a life changing accident

14

u/thedappledgray Aug 16 '26

Slugs can carry rat lungworm. Yikes. I’d take a grasshopper any day over a slug!

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u/Flux_capacitor888 Aug 16 '26

I once GOT a salad with a slug, from work place lunch buffet :DĀ 

16

u/FeelingSoil39 Aug 16 '26

Slugs have a neurotoxin in their body tissues. Super dangerous to eat slugs.

15

u/brainkandy87 Aug 16 '26

Yeah I’ve never forgotten the story of that kid who went brain dead from eating one on a dare. I’m supposed to be scared of salads now? Fuck.

9

u/Wild-Video-5317 Aug 16 '26

Google thinks the bigger risk is a parasite slugs may carry called "rat lungworm"

If there are neurotoxic slugs, that might be specific species found in certain regions?

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7

u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26

Oh nooooo! I just cant imagine 🤢

6

u/cozybookgirrl Aug 16 '26

I had one with a big dead spider 🄓

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1.8k

u/eiffeltowerbonbon Aug 16 '26

Most of us have eaten bugs in salads we just don’t know it

961

u/Head_Particular6045 Aug 16 '26

ok lets keep it this way, no need to know

168

u/Sir_Clarence_III_Esq Aug 16 '26

Wait till you hear about figs.

180

u/BootySweat0217 Aug 16 '26

Most of us have eaten figs and just don’t know it?

107

u/Tight_Regular6990 Aug 16 '26

Saw a donkey eating some fig, almost died laughing

26

u/Thorvaldr1 Aug 16 '26

Wow, that's a deep cut there Chrysippus.

9

u/yeetyman8 Aug 17 '26

Hey yeah we should give him some wine

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60

u/muffadel Aug 16 '26

Figs are pollenated by wasps. The wasp ends up being dissolved by the fig.

66

u/HELLBENT42 Aug 16 '26

Actually 99% of commercial figs have a genetic defect that makes them develop the fig without any need for the wasp

32

u/Forman420 Aug 16 '26

I was wondering how the world was being supplied if one fig = one wasp. Seemed crazy to me.

39

u/Doppelthedh Aug 16 '26

Wasps are a self-replenishing resource

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u/ScottOld Aug 16 '26

Pineapple plants grow a fruit at a time, so those are another fun one

15

u/KinkyNJThrowaway Aug 16 '26

And they take 1 to 2 years to grow one single fucking pineapple.

12

u/Th3FakeFatSunny Aug 16 '26

No wonder they're so fucking expensive

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u/Wiknetti Aug 16 '26

Funny enough if you eat a wasp, the wasp gets dissolved by you.

4

u/Working-Glass6136 Aug 16 '26

And if you look into the darkness, the darkness also looks into you!

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u/wozzy93 Aug 16 '26

It’s a different type of wasp too. Much smaller. About the size of a fruit fly. A lot more squishy looking too unlike Yellowjackets.

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u/BappoChan Aug 16 '26

That’s different than eating a bug directly. I mean, by this logic the next time you eat any fruit or veg then consider that as some point it consumed the nutrients out of animal shit. Mmmm, cow manure

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u/freedinthe90s Aug 16 '26

Top of the list of shit I did NOT need to know šŸ˜‚

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u/Szisk Aug 16 '26

Wasps is the answer.

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u/Rare_Ad_674 Aug 16 '26

Saying that you're eating wasps by eating figs is like saying you're eating grass by eating cow.
It was essentially eaten and metabolized by the fruit before it ever gets to you.

13

u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 16 '26

Well if it was that mf that stung me last month, then good. Good riddance!

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u/HailSaganPlantNative Aug 16 '26

Most commercially available figs are self fertile and not pollinated by fig wasps so thus is not the thing that everyone seems to think it is.

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u/e-chem-nerd Aug 16 '26

Most figs you can buy at the supermarket aren’t pollinated so wasps have never been inside. The ones that are pollinated by wasps, the wasps will have been fully dissolved and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. It’s like how the cows and chickens we eat also consumed insects, but the meat doesn’t have insect parts in it because the insects were digested.

6

u/SushiCoffeee Aug 16 '26

Wait til you hear about pigs

4

u/wouldnotpet89 Aug 16 '26

Figs yeah, but i had an organic date one time. Threw up half a bee few hours later. Not a good time.

3

u/NOVA-peddling-1138 Aug 16 '26

Was it a first date?! Wow.

3

u/SignificantCar4204 Aug 16 '26

Wait til you realize how easy it is to miss fly eggs. We've all eaten thousands of clutches of fly eggs.

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u/excelnotfionado Aug 16 '26

Definitely almost ate a cricket once. If I hadn’t been looking closely it blended right in! I threw away the entire salad after that. I got it from -you know who- Farms

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u/mpgd Aug 16 '26

And fruits.

I learned here on reddit that pistachios bitter taste are bugs too. Sorry for ruining it for you. - I still devour it

4

u/158cm_Otaku Aug 16 '26

That spider in a grape has got me scarred for life

9

u/RedHeadRedeemed Aug 16 '26

I'm perfectly happy staying naive on this

5

u/Because-itsthere Aug 16 '26

lol. They ate at least one grasshopper if they saw one at the end.

3

u/linjaes Aug 16 '26

Same thing with fruits

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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '26

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u/GoofyGooby23 Aug 16 '26

Katydid

49

u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 16 '26

Sorry, 1st thing that popped up in my head..

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u/DutchRudderShotgun Aug 16 '26

Damn some poor cook back there without their Lucky cricket "Susan. Sue Chef"

https://giphy.com/gifs/FfJOY5DrUfzHy

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u/bookmarkjedi Aug 16 '26

Katy always seems to get the blame.

3

u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 16 '26

Well, she lies

3

u/DakAttakk Aug 16 '26

Is this a genuine mix-up or is this becoming a meme

11

u/Shrek--official Aug 16 '26

The bug is actually a katydid, not a grasshopper.

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u/Seraphina_V9 Aug 16 '26

Blends in so well I almost thought the issue was the other piece of circled lettuce

71

u/FaithlessnessOld2477 Aug 16 '26

Yeah, I probably would have eaten it without even realizing and thinking that last bite must have been a bit of veggie stems that were crunchier than usual.

19

u/siwan1995 Aug 16 '26

That’s why OP finished his plate before noticing it.. atleast he didn’t eat it by mistake.

22

u/Versipilies Aug 16 '26

Well... not that one...

7

u/Few_Program_2303 Aug 16 '26

Maybe the husbands made a bet about whose wife would eat the most grasshoppers

104

u/MediocreAndLukewarm Aug 16 '26

ā€œWho made the salad bin this morning?ā€ ā€œKatydid.ā€

9

u/kennidee_lee Aug 16 '26

lol that’s so punny!

58

u/Expert_Tree_9945 Aug 16 '26

Oh he's missing some legs too, seems like you got more protein today

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u/potatowoo69 Aug 16 '26

Pretty sure thats a katydid

159

u/ghfdghjkhg Aug 16 '26

I once ate one of those on purpose. Pan fried. Tasted like bread

47

u/RonaldTheGiraffe Aug 16 '26

I’ve eaten them a lot in SE Asia when I lived there. Street vendors sold them on carts in bar districts. They were fried in semi dirty looking oil and garlic. Actually quite delicious with a cold beer. Sort of like chickeny popcorn. You’d have to pick the legs off cos they scratched your throat on the way down.

Once I saw a cocktail roach on the cart and the vendor just flipped him into the pan and cooked him alive along with the dead crickets. I swear the dude looked around to see if anyone saw but we locked eyes and he just pretended it didn’t happen.

5

u/No-Coyote-9289 Aug 17 '26

Wow 😮 lmao
That sounds hilarious and awkward at the same time

4

u/NapalmsMaster Aug 17 '26

Was cocktail roach a autocorrect fail for cockroach? Or is this a bug I don’t know about?

Because if it’s not I am forever calling cockroaches cocktail roaches, it makes them sound so upscale and classy, like they’ve got a little tuxedo and spats on!

21

u/nekokpit Aug 16 '26

Like toast.

8

u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 16 '26

Anyone else smell a stroke around here?

26

u/OpenForRepairs Aug 16 '26

Chapulines are fantastic if properly cooked. It has a texture similar to a popcorn with a slightly crunchy exterior. Flavor is actually a bit like popcorn as well.

9

u/MothusManus Aug 16 '26

And they actually pack a lot of protein, pretty good snack alternative for crisps if you get the flavoured ones.

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u/ThyArtSuffers Aug 16 '26

I was gonna say id eat it out of curiosity lol

3

u/Double-Bend-716 Aug 17 '26

Once, when I was working at Japanese restaurant owned by a Chinese family, I took a fried rice a customer had found what I think I remember was a caterpillar in it. It may have been a different bug, I’m not sure. The Chinese FOH manager was just casually like ā€œin China, we eat those on purpose.ā€

I was like ā€œAmericans don’t. I mean I’d personally be willing to try it, but this particular customer is upset that there is a bug in the fried rice and you need to go talk to themā€

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u/slothxaxmatic Aug 16 '26

You should see the other bugs that we wash out of lettuce BoH.

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u/Successful_Face3408 Aug 16 '26

Tell the chef to fry it up and re-serve it

https://giphy.com/gifs/30E6U7ITxI5ayiRQUt

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u/Melodic_Sherbet_3629 Aug 16 '26

You know it was fresh

17

u/Afraid_Promise_513 Aug 17 '26

You know what's worse than a grasshopper in your salad? Half a grasshopper 😁

3

u/Auzky Aug 17 '26

😭

52

u/ProfessionalNeck373 Aug 16 '26

so Taylor Farms is branching out of the parasite business

11

u/sherlockjr1 Aug 16 '26

My dad wouldn’t eat pickles because one day he took a bite out of a whole one, and found half a worm.

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u/AsVividAsItTrulyIs Aug 16 '26

He’s just a little guy!

10

u/terrorsane Aug 16 '26

Oh boy bowl is empty, who knows what went unnoticed...

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u/TheRogueWolf_YT Aug 16 '26

When your camouflage works too well.

8

u/NoFapstronaught93 Aug 17 '26

I once found a cute little green tree frog. I took it back to show them and they threw it in the bin straight away and wouldn't let me release him :(

10

u/SnooCalculations3614 Aug 17 '26

that's so fucked up

17

u/ConcernAccording3248 Aug 16 '26

If i ordered the vegan salad I'd probably complain

7

u/PissedOffDog Aug 16 '26

additional protein for no extra charge

8

u/S_NJ_Guy Aug 16 '26

Might be healthier than the lettuce in that salad.

7

u/PTSDDeadInside Aug 16 '26

you missed eating 1 of the grasshoppers

7

u/errantwit Aug 16 '26

It's really quite an accomplished that there arent more bugs in our food. I'd consider OP lucky.

Luck swings both ways

7

u/orblooper Aug 16 '26

Was it any good? Would you recommend

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u/TheRealistFakeNewsie Aug 16 '26

Extra protein. Grass fed grasshoppers are šŸ¤‘

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u/musicxfreak88 Aug 17 '26

I have no idea why people post this kinda stuff on a mildlyinfuriating sub. This is not mildly infuriating, this is fucking disgusting.

8

u/LetsGetStonks Aug 16 '26

Good clean protein... what's the problem? I think something like 1/3 of the worlds population gets it protein from insects.

13

u/Simsnstuff Aug 16 '26

Extra protein

4

u/biiirdfeeder Aug 16 '26

Stuff like this reminds me to always carry an EpiPen lol

4

u/chickadee-stitchery Aug 16 '26

Wait you can be allergic to grasshoppers??

8

u/biiirdfeeder Aug 16 '26

Yeah. My partner ate fried grosshoppers once and kissed me 5 minutes later and I had to take a Benadryl. I’m also severely allergic to ragweed. And moderately to banana, melons, cabbage, cucumber, horses, dust, cockroaches.

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u/Pretty-Ad-8036 Aug 17 '26

Damn people allways be complaining when they get ekstra stuff on their plate. Why cant people be grateful for the ekstra proteins the kitchen serves them 😁

5

u/Beginning-Click-1218 Aug 17 '26

we've all eaten bugs we didn't know were there, free protein I guess

3

u/BooCreepyFootDr Aug 16 '26

coulda been cyclospora. You got off easy.

3

u/ThinJuggernaut2002 Aug 16 '26

Grasshopper are eaten in many areas around the world! Usually cooked through …

3

u/jawg201 Aug 16 '26

Yall are saying extra protein werent watching monsters inside me. This is like one of the most common ways people end up with parasites in the US. You dont col a salad. Its snails and grasshoppers. Fuck that cooked grasshopper a okay but this. He'll no no shot

3

u/Any-Will-4195 Aug 16 '26

FR tho, how early-on did you spot it?

3

u/Radiant-Wash9191 Aug 16 '26

Free proteins In This economy

3

u/CanSignificant8444 Aug 16 '26

I once had a grasshopper in my ice cream.

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u/Private-Sun186 Aug 17 '26

Could have been much, much worse: you could've found half a grasshopper.

3

u/Jake_Corona Aug 17 '26

Looks like you ate the whole salad too.

3

u/nhowe006 Aug 17 '26

That should tell you something about the quality and freshness of the ingredients!

3

u/MrBentwood Aug 17 '26

That's what they call protein, and probably charged you for it too 🤣

3

u/TheDebonairQuokka Aug 17 '26

Ooh, full of grasshoppery goodness!

3

u/gothicuhcuh Aug 17 '26

There’s like. A ton of bugs in our food lol

3

u/Icy-Breadfruit-8581 Aug 17 '26

PROTEIN!!!!!!!!

4

u/tinyhorsesinmytea Aug 16 '26

Just one of those things that's impossible to completely stop. It's a natural food and insects are everywhere.

2

u/HopefulInstance8 Aug 16 '26

Yeah im a wuss I woulda projectile vomited

2

u/ballsackj Aug 16 '26

It happens

2

u/DaddyGoose420 Aug 16 '26

Bet your glad you saved the best looking piece for last.

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