r/mildlyinfuriating • u/SEOWizeGuy • Aug 16 '26
Don't hug me I'm scared Grasshopper in my salad at restaurant
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u/Boogiekc Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 17 '26
Can't get any fresher than that š
Edit: Never had this many upvotes and awards, appreciate everyone of em! ā¤ļø
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u/ass_smacktivist Aug 16 '26
I order mine with extra grasshopper so I can be sure the greens are organic
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u/InterestingTry5190 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 17 '26
With what is happening with lettuce right now grasshopper is the safer option to get in a salad
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u/Quietly_browsing Aug 16 '26
Unless the grasshopper ate the contaminated lettuce
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u/Simoxs7 Aug 17 '26
Whats the issue with lettuce?
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u/togtpvg Aug 17 '26
A company that imports lettuce to the US recently took the blame for āunknowinglyā giving us lettuce with a crop disease. It made a lot of people sick that ate lettuce from fast food restaurants.
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u/Aspen9999 Aug 17 '26
Not imported, grown in AZ with prison labor, so thereās inmates shitting in the fields.
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u/GranJan2 Aug 17 '26
Also grown in Mexico by Taylor Farms, parasite thought to come from recycled water contaminated with feces. Farm hadnāt been inspected in seven years, not much hope of things getting any better since RFK gutted the agency of people that do inspections. Also look out for berries, cilantro, basil. Probably more to follow
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u/Budget_Shallan Aug 16 '26
Haha! Though the horticulturalist in me needs to ruin your joke by pointing out that sprays are also used on organic produce. Thereās just a list of allowed/not allowed sprays.
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u/lyricoloratura Aug 17 '26
My favorite dad joke: you can lead a horse to water, but you canāt lead a horticulture
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u/waiulu Aug 17 '26
My Dadās version was: You can lead a horticulture but you canāt make her think.
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u/ledude1 Aug 16 '26
Free protein. SCORE!!!!
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u/Decent-Point309 Aug 17 '26
Aren't they also known for tapeworms?
Free protein + free weight loss!
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u/Silly_Double408 Aug 16 '26
It was extra cruel cause he had to watch the rest of his family be eaten while he was spared....
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u/musclegymdude11 Aug 17 '26
Now this is the story all about how my salad got flipped-turned upside downā¦
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u/PinkPencils22 Aug 17 '26
Yum! This happened to someone I was having dinner with at the Rainbow Room in Manhattan (back when it was still a restaurant.) The staff were very embarrassed. Offered us desserts, free drinks--we could easily have demanded the dinner comped, but it was actually a company dinner being paid for by an outfit that was absolutely raking in the cash at that time (software bubble) so we didn't care. We asked them to bring us a round of grasshoppers. They were pretty good, I'd never had one before!
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u/Aspen9999 Aug 17 '26
One time my niece ( age 5) got a lady bug on her salad at a restaurant. My sister quietly told the waitress, no big deal. But then the other kids all wanted ladybugs too ššš
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u/Equivalent_Fault6206 Aug 17 '26
This is a fantastic story!! I love that all the other kids wanted ladybugs too! Fantastic! LOL
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u/Aspen9999 Aug 17 '26
We were so trying not to make a big deal about it, but we had a 6 yr old, 3 5 yr olds and a 4 yr old at the table. I promise those kids knew how to behave but all of a sudden the talk was all about how come they didnāt get a ladybug and they wanted a ladybug! All 3 of us Moms trying to shush them.
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u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26
I was a waitress and served a salad with a slug once. So you got the upgrade :)
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u/bitchassh0e Aug 16 '26
I served one with a butterfly in it once. The customer said the wing flapped lol
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u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26
Oh nooooooo - gah- it's so bad lol
Yeahhhh - I'm just going to go get my manager haha
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u/bitchassh0e Aug 16 '26
Thankfully the girl just thought it was funny lol
A slug is crazy though! Were they mad? That definitely would have made me lose my appetite š38
u/Parabuthus Aug 16 '26
That one guy got rat lungworm from eating a slug. I'd be pissed.
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u/tocahontas77 Aug 17 '26
What
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u/ifoldkings Aug 17 '26
There was a young Australian guy named Sam Ballard who swallowed a slug on a dare. He contracted "rat lungworm disease". As a result, he suffered meningitis, went into a coma, became paralyzed, and ultimately died some time after.
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u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26
They were not happy but were super polite about it. They left, though. This was before the days of internet so no bad reviews.
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u/Sea-Builder-8136 Aug 16 '26
I don't know⦠maybe slugs are yummy, like snails but no need to dig their corpse out of a shell. I never had snails but dined with several people throughout the years who frequently ordered them (usually escargot).
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u/peaveyftw Aug 16 '26
"I'm sorry, sir, is it too rare for you? I can have chef produce another that's closer to medium-well..."
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u/ItsTheDCVR Aug 17 '26
I poured a bowl of store-bought salad and found a moth at the bottom of it :3
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Aug 16 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Fit_Poetry_267 Aug 16 '26
I had never heard of that - wow
Welp we didnt see them again so it was either ok...or it wasn't š¬
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u/Dinobob26 Aug 17 '26
A guy got paralyzed and then died after eating a slug from a dare. You couldāve sued the shit out of that place i reckon. Couldāve been a life changing accident
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u/thedappledgray Aug 16 '26
Slugs can carry rat lungworm. Yikes. Iād take a grasshopper any day over a slug!
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u/Flux_capacitor888 Aug 16 '26
I once GOT a salad with a slug, from work place lunch buffet :DĀ
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u/FeelingSoil39 Aug 16 '26
Slugs have a neurotoxin in their body tissues. Super dangerous to eat slugs.
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u/brainkandy87 Aug 16 '26
Yeah Iāve never forgotten the story of that kid who went brain dead from eating one on a dare. Iām supposed to be scared of salads now? Fuck.
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u/Wild-Video-5317 Aug 16 '26
Google thinks the bigger risk is a parasite slugs may carry called "rat lungworm"
If there are neurotoxic slugs, that might be specific species found in certain regions?
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u/eiffeltowerbonbon Aug 16 '26
Most of us have eaten bugs in salads we just donāt know it
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u/Head_Particular6045 Aug 16 '26
ok lets keep it this way, no need to know
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u/Sir_Clarence_III_Esq Aug 16 '26
Wait till you hear about figs.
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u/BootySweat0217 Aug 16 '26
Most of us have eaten figs and just donāt know it?
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u/Tight_Regular6990 Aug 16 '26
Saw a donkey eating some fig, almost died laughing
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u/muffadel Aug 16 '26
Figs are pollenated by wasps. The wasp ends up being dissolved by the fig.
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u/HELLBENT42 Aug 16 '26
Actually 99% of commercial figs have a genetic defect that makes them develop the fig without any need for the wasp
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u/Forman420 Aug 16 '26
I was wondering how the world was being supplied if one fig = one wasp. Seemed crazy to me.
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u/ScottOld Aug 16 '26
Pineapple plants grow a fruit at a time, so those are another fun one
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u/KinkyNJThrowaway Aug 16 '26
And they take 1 to 2 years to grow one single fucking pineapple.
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u/Wiknetti Aug 16 '26
Funny enough if you eat a wasp, the wasp gets dissolved by you.
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u/Working-Glass6136 Aug 16 '26
And if you look into the darkness, the darkness also looks into you!
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u/wozzy93 Aug 16 '26
Itās a different type of wasp too. Much smaller. About the size of a fruit fly. A lot more squishy looking too unlike Yellowjackets.
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u/BappoChan Aug 16 '26
Thatās different than eating a bug directly. I mean, by this logic the next time you eat any fruit or veg then consider that as some point it consumed the nutrients out of animal shit. Mmmm, cow manure
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u/Rare_Ad_674 Aug 16 '26
Saying that you're eating wasps by eating figs is like saying you're eating grass by eating cow.
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u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 16 '26
Well if it was that mf that stung me last month, then good. Good riddance!
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u/HailSaganPlantNative Aug 16 '26
Most commercially available figs are self fertile and not pollinated by fig wasps so thus is not the thing that everyone seems to think it is.
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u/e-chem-nerd Aug 16 '26
Most figs you can buy at the supermarket arenāt pollinated so wasps have never been inside. The ones that are pollinated by wasps, the wasps will have been fully dissolved and you wouldnāt be able to tell the difference. Itās like how the cows and chickens we eat also consumed insects, but the meat doesnāt have insect parts in it because the insects were digested.
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u/wouldnotpet89 Aug 16 '26
Figs yeah, but i had an organic date one time. Threw up half a bee few hours later. Not a good time.
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u/SignificantCar4204 Aug 16 '26
Wait til you realize how easy it is to miss fly eggs. We've all eaten thousands of clutches of fly eggs.
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u/excelnotfionado Aug 16 '26
Definitely almost ate a cricket once. If I hadnāt been looking closely it blended right in! I threw away the entire salad after that. I got it from -you know who- Farms
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u/mpgd Aug 16 '26
And fruits.
I learned here on reddit that pistachios bitter taste are bugs too. Sorry for ruining it for you. - I still devour it
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u/GoofyGooby23 Aug 16 '26
Katydid
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u/Sea_Prep_Tidal_26 Aug 16 '26
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u/DutchRudderShotgun Aug 16 '26
Damn some poor cook back there without their Lucky cricket "Susan. Sue Chef"
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u/Seraphina_V9 Aug 16 '26
Blends in so well I almost thought the issue was the other piece of circled lettuce
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u/FaithlessnessOld2477 Aug 16 '26
Yeah, I probably would have eaten it without even realizing and thinking that last bite must have been a bit of veggie stems that were crunchier than usual.
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u/siwan1995 Aug 16 '26
Thatās why OP finished his plate before noticing it.. atleast he didnāt eat it by mistake.
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u/Versipilies Aug 16 '26
Well... not that one...
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u/Few_Program_2303 Aug 16 '26
Maybe the husbands made a bet about whose wife would eat the most grasshoppers
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u/Expert_Tree_9945 Aug 16 '26
Oh he's missing some legs too, seems like you got more protein today
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u/ghfdghjkhg Aug 16 '26
I once ate one of those on purpose. Pan fried. Tasted like bread
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u/RonaldTheGiraffe Aug 16 '26
Iāve eaten them a lot in SE Asia when I lived there. Street vendors sold them on carts in bar districts. They were fried in semi dirty looking oil and garlic. Actually quite delicious with a cold beer. Sort of like chickeny popcorn. Youād have to pick the legs off cos they scratched your throat on the way down.
Once I saw a cocktail roach on the cart and the vendor just flipped him into the pan and cooked him alive along with the dead crickets. I swear the dude looked around to see if anyone saw but we locked eyes and he just pretended it didnāt happen.
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u/NapalmsMaster Aug 17 '26
Was cocktail roach a autocorrect fail for cockroach? Or is this a bug I donāt know about?
Because if itās not I am forever calling cockroaches cocktail roaches, it makes them sound so upscale and classy, like theyāve got a little tuxedo and spats on!
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u/OpenForRepairs Aug 16 '26
Chapulines are fantastic if properly cooked. It has a texture similar to a popcorn with a slightly crunchy exterior. Flavor is actually a bit like popcorn as well.
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u/MothusManus Aug 16 '26
And they actually pack a lot of protein, pretty good snack alternative for crisps if you get the flavoured ones.
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u/Double-Bend-716 Aug 17 '26
Once, when I was working at Japanese restaurant owned by a Chinese family, I took a fried rice a customer had found what I think I remember was a caterpillar in it. It may have been a different bug, Iām not sure. The Chinese FOH manager was just casually like āin China, we eat those on purpose.ā
I was like āAmericans donāt. I mean Iād personally be willing to try it, but this particular customer is upset that there is a bug in the fried rice and you need to go talk to themā
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u/slothxaxmatic Aug 16 '26
You should see the other bugs that we wash out of lettuce BoH.
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u/Afraid_Promise_513 Aug 17 '26
You know what's worse than a grasshopper in your salad? Half a grasshopper š
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u/sherlockjr1 Aug 16 '26
My dad wouldnāt eat pickles because one day he took a bite out of a whole one, and found half a worm.
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u/NoFapstronaught93 Aug 17 '26
I once found a cute little green tree frog. I took it back to show them and they threw it in the bin straight away and wouldn't let me release him :(
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u/errantwit Aug 16 '26
It's really quite an accomplished that there arent more bugs in our food. I'd consider OP lucky.
Luck swings both ways
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u/musicxfreak88 Aug 17 '26
I have no idea why people post this kinda stuff on a mildlyinfuriating sub. This is not mildly infuriating, this is fucking disgusting.
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u/LetsGetStonks Aug 16 '26
Good clean protein... what's the problem? I think something like 1/3 of the worlds population gets it protein from insects.
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u/biiirdfeeder Aug 16 '26
Stuff like this reminds me to always carry an EpiPen lol
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u/chickadee-stitchery Aug 16 '26
Wait you can be allergic to grasshoppers??
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u/biiirdfeeder Aug 16 '26
Yeah. My partner ate fried grosshoppers once and kissed me 5 minutes later and I had to take a Benadryl. Iām also severely allergic to ragweed. And moderately to banana, melons, cabbage, cucumber, horses, dust, cockroaches.
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u/Pretty-Ad-8036 Aug 17 '26
Damn people allways be complaining when they get ekstra stuff on their plate. Why cant people be grateful for the ekstra proteins the kitchen serves them š
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u/Beginning-Click-1218 Aug 17 '26
we've all eaten bugs we didn't know were there, free protein I guess
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u/ThinJuggernaut2002 Aug 16 '26
Grasshopper are eaten in many areas around the world! Usually cooked through ā¦
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u/jawg201 Aug 16 '26
Yall are saying extra protein werent watching monsters inside me. This is like one of the most common ways people end up with parasites in the US. You dont col a salad. Its snails and grasshoppers. Fuck that cooked grasshopper a okay but this. He'll no no shot
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u/Private-Sun186 Aug 17 '26
Could have been much, much worse: you could've found half a grasshopper.
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u/nhowe006 Aug 17 '26
That should tell you something about the quality and freshness of the ingredients!
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u/tinyhorsesinmytea Aug 16 '26
Just one of those things that's impossible to completely stop. It's a natural food and insects are everywhere.
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u/DaddyGoose420 Aug 16 '26
Bet your glad you saved the best looking piece for last.
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u/CreamPyre Aug 16 '26
Least you know it was organic!