r/texts • u/MysteriousVixen29 • 1d ago
Phone message Dating in 2026
I just met him a few weeks ago and he gave me his number. I like slow burning connections because that way I get a better sense of who I'm getting involved with before I allow him to take me on a date. I don’t really know much about him, so I try to set up FaceTime calls at a convenient time for both of us, but he’s not giving me much to work with
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u/FrequentFortune123 1d ago
Can we talk about your 266 unread texts though
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u/franciscrowe 1d ago
For real, I see this kind of shit so often and it blows my mind. I can’t handle having any notifications or unread messages like that, but so many people seem to be fine with it.
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u/hoi4420 1d ago
Just don't look at it... No really, it's that easy.
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u/Fun-Age-168 1d ago
Right? I didn’t even notice until I read this comment. I don’t understand why it bothers people so much.
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u/sleepysky98 20h ago
Mine are like this now because I have to use 2FA to sign into everything at work lol
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u/20dogs 1d ago
266 unread texts and yet upset she doesn't have more texts to read lmao
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u/TheGlennDavid 17h ago
I'll guess automated texts. I have 700 and none of them are real people. I read them on the notifications screen which doesn't mark them as read. To clear the notification I'd need to tap into the message thread and I don't care.
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u/Hungry-Space-1829 1d ago edited 1d ago
I wouldn’t want to date either of you, but that’s fine, you just find your match. He’s being too aggressive with the beautiful and baby girl stuff, but I also don’t want to text somebody for weeks or even FaceTime before just going on an in person date
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u/SalientSazon 1d ago
Yah but also their text interaction proved her point. Zero potential for those two based on this conversation ! 😂. If I were either one one of them I’d run in the opposite direction
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u/Rennaisance_Man_0001 1d ago edited 6h ago
You missed the point entirely, even though it was right there.
She wants to be able to get a sense if they have any damn thing in common. But dude cant carry on a conversation.
That gives the idea that he doesn't care if they have anything in common. He probably just wants the chance for sex, and then he'll decide it's not a good fit.
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u/Minute_Poem_856 19h ago
I've met lots of people who are lively, outgoing, and can carry a conversation, but suck at texting, and vice-versa. There's nothing worse than getting to know someone for a while over text then you meet them and know instantly it's not a match.
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u/Struckbyfire 19h ago
I’m not sure OP themselves would text for weeks either. Maybe they just want like an hour of conversation. Why is it always one extreme or the other?
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u/Living-Balance7238 19h ago
I am happy someone said this. There’s a lot between a „hi baby girl” text and being pen pals…
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u/dreamerkid001 1d ago
Yeah, they both handled this poorly. He was over the top immediately going with those stupid lines, but she would have come off as much more reasonable if she’s said something like, “A date might be fun, but I’d like to get to know you a little bit more about you first to see if we have anything in common before we schedule something.”
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u/PsychologicalDrop196 1d ago
He wouldn’t have made the effort anyways. Obvious by his texting behavior. She’s doing too much replying.
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u/Competitive-Wish6284 1d ago
I can relate to the FaceTime to verify they are who they say they are but refusing a date, until you spent time talking and getting to know someone is wild. That’s the point of dating ya’ll. Tf.
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u/ausmed 1d ago
It's more about giving someone a chance to talk a bit to see if they're going to say something objectionable before you waste time meeting them. You'd be amazed how many guys within about 10 messages will say something that absolutely rules them out as someone you'd want to meet IRL.
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u/Impossible_Test_8175 19h ago
It even happened in this interaction! In just a few dry texts she can find out that she doesn't want to date him lol
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u/Full-Sherbert-7800 1d ago
I disagree. I would have to find a baby sitter first, so there's no way I'm taking the time out for a date if I haven't built a connection first.
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u/Competitive-Wish6284 1d ago
Ok and if that’s the circumstance and made it be known upfront, that makes sense.
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u/sewer-bass 22h ago
Nah, hard disagree. Matching on a dating site means very little other than you’re attracted to each other and maybe have some basic commonalities. If I said yes to every date so I could “get to know the person” I wouldn’t ever have time to myself or with the people i already know and love. My time is valuable and my life is full of other things and I’m not desperate enough to give up my own time for someone i don’t have some connection with. If you can’t hold a conversation with me before thinking you’re entitled to a date with me, it aint happening. I’m so exhausted with men thinking this way, and every time someone gets an attitude about it, it confirms my choice not to go out with them
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u/SingerSingle5682 1d ago
OP says they met in person and exchanged numbers not over a dating app which negates catfishing. So I don’t know what is the point of FaceTiming someone you have already seen in person.
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u/Opposite-Lake-9679 1d ago
There was absolutely a nice way for her to say that she wanted to get to know him over text a little bit. But honestly I just don't get it just go on the date. That's how you learn about somebody. We don't have to do it all through our phones.
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u/SawSharkRedemptionnn 1d ago
Unpopular opinion, I much rather meet right out the rip to see if there's a connection. Its hard to determine over texts if I gel well with someone.
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u/TubaStinky 1d ago
I mean I’m all for getting an in person date as soon as possible. But I’d at least like to exchange a few messages and get to know their interests and what their values and lifestyle are like before setting up a date.
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u/Sauer_Attitude 1d ago
Idk why you're getting roasted, I've had plenty of potential dates that thankfully didn't happen because the person was so boring over text I never bothered. And then I've had plenty of actual dates with people who could actually be bothered to put in the effort to send a few damn texts until you meet up.
Maybe the mad dudes are just mad they barely get any dates. Or they dont text cuz they're worried they'll fuck it up before the date.
Either way, my gf fell for me before our first date BECAUSE of the way I engaged and the things I said, the date just sealed it. I guess get better at talking via text, guys.
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u/mikemyers999 1d ago
I think there's a good number of people that don't want to immediately meet up and want to vet the person first so they don't get murdered or whatever
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u/throwaway_long25 1d ago edited 21h ago
Yeah I made the mistake of just agreeing to a date before really talking a little bit through text, FaceTime, or phone call. His profile seemed normal enough, he had that he was looking for a long term relationship. His hobbies seemed normal to me too (gym, hiking, camping, working on cars), he worked at autozone, he was supposedly a progressive, and he was going to college.
He messaged me on tinder and opened with “Hey, I love your makeup. It’s really creative and cool” then he said “Are you free tomorrow?” And I said yes so we scheduled a time to meet, he wanted to pick me up at my apartment (which was a mistake LOL). We decided on a boba spot right before noon.
Anyway, we got boba and talked there for a bit. Nothing seemed unusual until I asked him if he wanted to go for lunch or if he needed to go. And he responded with “I don’t have anything else planned for today, I thought we would hang out the whole day, but I already ate before I got here because I went to the gym. I can take you to a drive through though.” I felt awkward after that so I said no worries and that it was okay we could do something else.
We ended up going to the downtown area where I lived and I took him to some of my favorite shops (record store, antique shop, cat shop that just sells everything cat themed because we both liked cats). Then we went to a 100 acre park that has a nature center with lakes, streams, and hiking trails and right before I got out of the car, he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me closer and tried to makeout with me. I froze for like 5 seconds, then pushed him away. He got ANGRY. I told him I wasn’t ready for that and it wasn’t ok for him to grab me like that. He said “Then what the fuck were you on tinder for?” And I was like “what? It was in my profile, I’m looking for a long term relationship. That’s what yours said too” and he said “no, I just got out of a long term relationship, I don’t want anybody trying to trick me into one” and I was so confused and then asked him “then why are we here?” And he was like “I was hoping we were going to have fun” and I was just so shocked because mind you, in my bio I had been pretty clear that I wasn’t into hookups.
I told him to take me home because we didn’t want the same things and he said “no it’s okay, let’s go on the hiking trail, we’re already here” but at that point I did NOT feel safe anymore lol I said “no please take me home, we’re not looking for the same things.” And he said “I mean we can see where things go, I’m open to that” and I kept saying “No, please take me home.” Then he said “I’m sorry” and I was just sitting there in the car in silence and then he tried to touch me and I smacked his hand and he slammed his fists on his wheel like 3 times and went “FUCK” and he genuinely scared me lol Anyway, I got out of the car, ran towards other people told him to leave me alone I was going to get an uber. And he called me a “fucking bitch” and left.
I think if we would have talked a little bit like maybe a week, he might have shown his true intentions before we met up. But who knows lol all I know is that after that incident, I didn’t date for another year and then when I met my boyfriend I was super hesitant about going on a date with him but he actually talked to me through text, on Instagram, through FaceTime and called for about a week and a half, then we met up at the Renaissance faire where I was going to be with my friends and he was going to be with his family lol I didn’t meet his family then bc they left early before I got there but yeah, we’re still together 4 years later and live together :)
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u/texangadfly 17h ago
This has been my experience with literally every guy who ever pushed to hang out without talking. They always want to back you into a corner and feel like you have to have sex with them. I don’t play that game anymore
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u/Rennaisance_Man_0001 6h ago
This is the point that so many men here aren't getting.
What that guy did was planned. He was waiting for the right moment. He didn't want to waste time talking or eating. I'm glad you're okay.
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u/Living-Balance7238 19h ago
Why would you go in his car after all this???? (I am so sorry this happened to you, and glad you’re safe)
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u/throwaway_long25 18h ago edited 18h ago
I didn’t get a chance to leave his car before he tried to kiss me. He didn’t seem like a bad guy for the first half of the day and I thought maybe we just had a misunderstanding and he could just take me home (but also I was in shock, something like that had never happened to me), until he tried to touch me and I smacked his hand away. That’s when I got out of the car.
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u/RockMonstrr 1d ago
Restaurants aren't just the place that makes your DoorDash order. You can totally go to them.
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u/stillhavingfunyea 1d ago
Yea because people are meeting people off dating apps, in public places, and murdering them, like all the time.
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u/mikemyers999 1d ago
I mean you're saying that like it never happens, but it's a realistic fear because like one in five women get assaulted
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u/stillhavingfunyea 1d ago
On a first date, in a public place?
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u/kazmir_yeet 1d ago
I don’t see why something like going to get coffee at a busy coffee shop is being framed as dangerous here but I’m sure this same person has been to a bar (which is way more dangerous for a woman).
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u/Rennaisance_Man_0001 6h ago
Recognize here that everybody who keeps pushing that point is a guy. And every one of them is instinctively disregarding the bigger picture. If there's even a chance that he's a fucking creep, no woman wants to go out with him. Text (or phone) communication is part of the vetting process!
Do any of you have sisters or female friends to tell you what it's really like. You all give these underthought, oversimplified, I'll conceived 'solutions' for a complex problem that you don't grasp.
Communication is a test. Even going on a date in a public place can be traumatic when it turns out that the guy is a creep who wants to force or pressure them into sex.
Creeps and rapists are at epidemic levels. One in three women have already been sexually assaulted. That means she already has some trauma.
The more you insist that communication over text isn't needed, the more you say stupid shit that suggests an inability to empathize with the very people you want to date, the more women see you as (at best) non-allies in the raping game, and more likely a part of the problem.
You can't blame women for the male loneliness epidemic, when this is the very best you can do. Stop making your opinions a extension of your ego, and start showing some awareness of the problem. By and large, women do not see men as allies in this, because men don't seem to think it's their problem.
Well, it is.
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u/thisissodisturbing 1d ago
I mean, there are men every single fucking year that stab or shoot or strangle or beat a woman for rejecting his advances entirely in a public place, so I don’t know why you’re getting sarcastic lmao
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u/stillhavingfunyea 1d ago
In a coffee shop? Women are getting stabbed or beaten?
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u/Odd-Huckleberry8584 1d ago
Had a girlfriend who talked to a guy for a while and went on a date and he automatically flipped the switch when he started on some controversial topics that they didn’t share the same views on and she asked to make the conversation a little lighter - he threatened her with physical threats saying she thinks she’s hot shit and is stupid for her opinions, she tried to end the date and left to go to go to the bathroom to create space cause he really freaked her out, he “left” and she had to wait 3 hours in the restaurant while he waited out by her car (when they drove separately) this was 2 weeks ago… yes this happens in public spaces - some men are dangerous. This is just the most recent example too.
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u/MuggleAdventurer 1d ago
Just saw footage of a guy brutally attacking a woman at a restaurant where she’d intentionally met him in order to feel safe enough to end things with him. Even that obviously didn’t protect her. So yes.
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u/haitherekind 1d ago
I’m with you. There’s no way you can gauge any connection over text or phone call. People can be very different in person.
But this guy’s opening is weird as hell. I would’ve never responded to him tbh lol.
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u/theboylilikoi 1d ago
I agree, but I like a middle ground of a phone call to at least vet a few questions just to make clear this makes sense. One phone call and then a date immediately after. I have a busy life and just cant afford the energy of a date a lot of the time when it is such an uncertain gamble, but I dont want a pen pal either.
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u/Equivalent_Sock_3002 1d ago
completely agree, don’t need a pen pal. Didn’t know this was an unpopular opinion.
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u/Sharles_Davis_Kendy 1d ago
Yeah, the date is where you actively talk and learn more about each other and see if actual chemistry could exist between each other?
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u/MyFeetLookLikeHands 1d ago
nope, very popular opinion. People like OP are exhausting. I won’t deal with them
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u/sewer-bass 22h ago
lol and we think people like you are exhausting. Why do you think you’re entitled to a date with someone?
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u/BattyNess 1d ago
No way am I doing this as a woman. I chat for few days and prefer a phone call before meeting.
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u/SpecialEducation5152 1d ago
Yep, the difference is safety. Also I’m not using a heat tool on my hair for a guy I could’ve weeded out quickly over the phone
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u/Acrobatic-Sandwich10 1d ago
Im sure that works both ways. I bet you disqualify yourself plenty over the phone lol
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u/thisissodisturbing 1d ago
Yes, which is why people should talk over the phone before meeting.
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u/SpecialEducation5152 1d ago
Yep I’m not offended if people do not like me as long as they are respectful.
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u/devilselbowart 16h ago edited 15h ago
Same. I have no patience for the pen pal thing. Pointless imo.
I married the man who gathered the balls to ask me out without tap dancing by text for 6 weeks first
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u/they_sea_me_cruisin 1d ago
Agreed, this was my approach when I was dating. I do not want to message back and forth. Let's hang out in person and see if there's a connection.
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u/StumpyOPepys 1d ago
There is truth to this, but if he’s going to give you the baby girl up front, take it.
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u/Born_Tear_761 1d ago
This 100%. It seems so foreign to me to try to connect via text for weeks before meeting.
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u/Routine-Hope-2771 1d ago
Bro, if as a woman we go out with everybody just to see if we gel it’s just a waste of time. There are steps: talking a bit, maybe FaceTime before deciding if you want to meet in person. lol
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u/SawSharkRedemptionnn 1d ago
I dunno, I enjoy meeting new people and going out and doing things. I rather meet up then text.
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u/Key-Eye5072 1d ago
Im the same! i cant do long texting/phone calls if we haven't met. i have to know if theres chemistry or not because otherwise its just a waste of time for both ppl imo
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u/Lion_tamers_of_cfl 1d ago
Unpopular opinion, but wtf did people do before phones and the internet? Actually go on dates dumbass
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u/Informal_Wall_8132 1d ago
Yeah going on a date and meeting in person is how you learn more about each other and see if there is actual chemistry.
You cannot possibly know if there is chemistry through face timing or through words on a screen.
This is 100% such a weird way to go about dating wasting countless people's time and your own "texting" for weeks to get to know each other when you can simply do it in 30 minutes over coffee or a drink.
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u/Remarkable_Rush_7184 15h ago
I don’t think you’re the problem, but I’m not sure you’re helping.
Both of you need to initiate conversation.
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u/RabidJoint 14h ago
Bro, I’m old school. I don’t do texting relationships. I enjoy talking to a person face to face, seeing their true emotions with my own eyes, not the fake ass ones people use in texting.
OP: homie was trying to get to know you by taking you on a date. He wasn’t asking for a serious relationship. you want someone sweet talking you late into the night just to ghost him days later, get out of here with this crap. You the problem.
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u/red_rodney_ram 1d ago
is this situation really so egregious that it warranted posting this online? This doesn’t seem like a particularly outrageous approach, flawed as it is.
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u/IcanNeyousirn 19h ago
Honestly most of these texts are. Even ones where the guy is a little too much. Like why post on here. This should be reserved for total wackos
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u/Extension-Rice5379 16h ago
Yeah, and based on the response she gives, it doesn’t seem like she’s giving a lot to work with. If somebody texts me hey, I’m always going to add “What’s up?” Or “How’s it going?” Or something similar. I feel like when you don’t it can give the impression of not actually wanting to converse. But maybe that’s just me
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u/Nervous-History8631 12h ago
What do you mean she isn't giving much to work with. Didn't you know, she is the whole damn table /s
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u/Honest-Maximum7146 1d ago
It’s not. Wanting to hang out is normal, she blew this thing way out of proportion lol
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u/issuesuponissues 1d ago
Right. Isn't the point of going on a date to get to know the other person?
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u/MidnightGasControll 1d ago
Neither of yall were putting in any effort. So yes maybe that’s the 2026 experience.
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u/_SparkleTits_ 1d ago
Lmao what was OP supposed to say there?
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u/smallbutbigpepe 1d ago
How about go on the date? It’s a lot easier to see if you have chemistry in person.
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u/_SparkleTits_ 1d ago
I wouldn't want to date someone who texts like that. Look at his initial texts. It's objectifying and there's no substance there. Look at his response. It's dismissive.
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u/Latter_Tumbleweed656 1d ago
Your response was... odd. Why not just ask him to call you so you can check his vibe out? You came off a bit aggressive and off putting
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u/Drzewo_Silentswift 1d ago
This is a good metaphor yes. I don’t think you intended to be a part of it. But you are right. This is dating in 2026
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u/MyPupCooper 1d ago
Yea I’m not doing all this effort in getting to know someone through my phone.
I’d say you’re the one reflective of “dating in 2026”.
Go get a beer with the dude and see if you like him. Don’t text him for 3 weeks as a test to see if he continues to qualify.
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u/yourdad01 22h ago
Nah if I was single I wouldn't want to waste my time texting with someone. The point is to meet in person and see if there is a connection. Who has time for these games? Who on earth would want to FaceTime call to see if there is a connection? That's weird
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u/ProgressPersonal6579 21h ago edited 20h ago
Just to offer some perspective, dating carries more risk for women than men (I suspect op is a women). Meeting a complete stranger would be kinda scary, but you can filter out some people by texting for a while first.
Edit: guys I know people are capable of pretending over text. But a lot of times, people with ill intentions are looking for ladies who aren't going to draw boundaries. So yeah, a lot of people probs won't waste their time if you express caution. They'll just move on to the next victim.
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u/viriginpajeet 20h ago
Ah yes, because someone with genuinely dangerous intentions would never have the patience to text for a week or act charming on FaceTime. Apparently, psychopaths have a strict 15-minute attention span.
Texting and video calls might help screen out obvious red flags, but pretending they're reliable background checks is ridiculous. Someone willing to manipulate you in person can manipulate you through a screen too.
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u/Aggravating_Wave650 22h ago
I mean aren't dates also how ppl get to know each other? He didn't say come to his flat soo
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u/NacresR 19h ago
As a guy I’ve never understood the baby girl, sweet girl, like are you talking to a child or a grown woman. Maybe I’m the weird one.
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u/Logmanator 14h ago
Baby girl is my favorite but that’s after like 5 dates and at least 2 hook ups. Off the rip is insane.
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u/anooblol 19h ago
Why aren’t you putting in any effort to get to know him? Be the change you claim to want in others.
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u/w33b2 1d ago
You do know what the point of a date is, right OP? It’s funny you posted this as an “issue with dating in 2026” type of post even though YOU are part of the issue people talk about lmao
Not saying the guy isn’t weird, but you’ve had weeks to see that he is. So by this point it’s on you if you’re still interested, and you won’t go on a date despite that.
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u/BusyTelevision6298 1d ago
you BOTH seems like a nightmare to date. one is aggressive and impatient and the other is a time waster with texting for weeks
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u/EbonyPrincess17 1d ago edited 16h ago
Yeah, such a nightmare that she actually wants to learn more about someone by wanting to talk and set up a FaceTime call before a first date. Ugh, what a disaster
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u/NoConcentrate5853 1d ago
Youre being sarcastic but yes. This is very ineffective dating strategy.
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u/Anon-joe33 1d ago
Weeks to set up a date is crazy. He’s a better man than me. I would have just moved on if no date was setup after the first week.
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u/DiligentFoundation83 1d ago
How can you build chemistry over text lmao. Just go on a low effort 15–30-minute coffee date or a walk in public and that will tell you magnitudes more about chemistry than months of texting would
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u/PersianJerseyan78 1d ago
Idk I hate texting a lot and prefer face to face meeting and getting to know each other that way. Plus, you can talk day and night on the phone but won’t know chemistry til you see each other in person.
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u/SVRider650 17h ago
Looking at the number of unread messages he could try and you probably wouldn’t even read it lol
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u/PUBGMobiIe 18h ago
Lmao what do you think people have done for centuries? Just go out and do something and you'll find out; stop with the "I nEeD To CaLl yoU 8276 tImEs bEfoRE I maKe My Mind Up". You're just wasting both of yalls time
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u/Hot-Sun-5333 1d ago
I’m gonna be honest dating in 2026 is not that hard if people in 2026 let go buzz words like icks, Turn offs, red flags, that can be easily translated to human error. What do I mean by that? these days y’all are so picky. You’re not giving grace to the human experience. Now what do you mean by that lol. People are nervous for one thing or another, have heard different approaches work better than others, they literally don’t know you and you don’t know them. They might’ve failed 1000 times with other people so they’re trying to make the perfect approach and it still comes off wrong. For crying out loud, outside of hi how are you, people wouldn’t know what to say. And even the hi how are you? Is looked bad or frowned upon as no effort. But then as the receiver of the message IMMEDIATELY shut down the approach looking for perfection and therefore throw out that person entirely.
Now before anybody comes into my comments, saying anything along the lines of red pill and all this stuff. Yes, 110%. We as a people need to watch for freaks. I am not talking about any of those people because they are truly wrong. People who come into your messages saying let me see you naked as their first message, come in rude, come in sexual, come in harassing. They are disgusting. They should not be dated and you should forget about them and do not contact them. Do not respond to the messages, I wholeheartedly agree. I am specifically talking about situations and scenarios such as this example. Where we forget that we are humans and are not going to be perfect and when we look for perfection without giving a fair shot at overlooking the mistake that was made we get trapped in a swipe cycle.
I can tell you now the guy came in and he was very boring and very dry. But OP does not need to respond boring or dry to get a conversation going. Have grace. You matched with this person for other things. So steer the convo in a way to see how yall communicate. Have grace for the mistakes that are just human error. And I promise you you will find a person to date in 2026. Until then a lot of people will continue to swipe or deny or unmatched a person who makes human error mistakes.
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u/Alive-Material-9243 22h ago
You’re in the wrong here. Going on a date doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him, that’s where the slow burn can start. Getting to know someone through text sucks. Just meet up somewhere in public for an easy first date and see how it goes! You can still go at your own pace in person
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u/KhanQu3st 1d ago
Maybe try to lead the conversation and see if he gets comfortable and warms up. He may be more confident in person but worries about how he comes across over text, or is just a shitty texter.
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u/NoConcentrate5853 1d ago
Yeah that IS dating in 2026. Go on a date. Dates are where you get to know people. This idea of finding out who they are for weeks via text with no social cues. No body language.
Bananas.
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u/Emotional_Turnip3370 1d ago
Yeah I’d move on from that. Ppl who text likd that are so boring. Alsk how u got 226 messages?
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u/painfultoeveryone 1d ago
You were absolutely right OP, and his reaction is so pathetic. As a woman, you really should get to know a man a bit before meeting them. "I prefer going on a date right on" - alright, but not me! If someone cares about you, talking a bit through text or phone is the absolute minimum lmao. This guy does not care about you at all, I suspect he just wants to have sex.
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u/Mithos301 21h ago
"Dating in 2026"
Girl, HE'S the one trying to date. YOU'RE the one denying dates, and instead are interested in male pen pals that you can dissect at no risk and tug along by a string while you background check and evaluate them through words on a fucking screen.
Just fucking get a coffee or go for a walk and get to know people. That's what's known as DATING
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u/Lets_Get_Random 19h ago
It’s strange that the provided screenshot doesn’t show you making even the slightest effort to get conversation going, just being unhappy with him for not doing it.
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u/Regular_Animal_6310 19h ago
Huh why do u wanna endlessly text a stranger. Meet and see if u get along in person. Every text u send before meeting ends up meaning nothing
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u/Agile-Reputation8074 19h ago
yeah that's how I see it. pretty tiring. I don't want to know your life story over text messages
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u/VioletReaver 19h ago
That’s a good way to end up in a true crime documentary
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u/immaownyou 19h ago
How dangerous can meeting up at a coffee shop be? You aren't required to meet someone alone for a first date
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u/THENOCAPGENIE 18h ago
Right people act like you’re asking them to meet you in the middle of a desert. No one is kidnapping you at sbux. Idk why people are so adamant about FaceTimes and texts it means nothing and it’s a waste of time for the most part. I only get your number to set up a date and see if there is a connection. Outside of that, I’m not gonna spend endless hours texting about your life cuz that should be talked about in real life. Outside of confirming dates and maybe a good morning I never texted my dates even my wife now we didn’t text outside of confirming our dates.
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u/Regular_Animal_6310 19h ago
Texting before tells you nothing about how much you can trust someone or if they’re dangerous. Precautions must be made no matter what and online dating is more prevalent than not now. As other commenter said, public settings for first or first few meet ups. I mean you can end up in a dangerous situation anywhere any time 🤷♀️texting doesn’t affect that whatsoever
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u/raiechelle 1d ago
I wouldve just blocked him immediately. His effort level is so low and repulsive.
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u/pat_the_catdad 1d ago
If I got a nickel for every time a woman used slow burning as an excuse for their avoidant personality…
glances over at 266 unread texts
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u/BattyNess 1d ago
OP, I fully support your requirement to know someone better. Don’t let the comment section, which seems like they would go out with anyone with a pulse, change your standards.
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u/Hungry-Housing8127 1d ago
facetime would’ve been helpful, i don’t mind the pet names if we’re both just being a lil flirty in the moment tho
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u/No_Project_4738 1d ago
If he’s not willing to do a FaceTime call he is a waste of time. Might as well block
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u/Dazzling_Room_9346 1d ago
You can.....also start talking to him so you guys can learn more about each other and see if actual chemistry could exist between both of you. You can start there instead of expecting him to do all the asking.
A relationship takes 2. You can try asking him questions or talk about yourself. Have conversations and get to know each other.
Hes not interested in Face calls it seems. Considering he asked so quickly, he might prefer in-person communication over online.
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u/HeadDance 1d ago
“I’m more of a getting to know you in person type of guy”
😋😋😋😂 what was his reply that was my guess
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u/whataboutstocks 1d ago
literally so draining to talk to men nowadays, euthanize me pls n thnx in advance!
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u/lowtide_static 1d ago
Do you know what the point of a first date is? It’s to get to know someone. You’re the weirdo here stringing people along over text for weeks expecting anything to grow from that.
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u/Fine_Professor_4155 1d ago
But how would you get to know him if you don't go out, meet, and break the ice?
Then if there's no spark or whatever go on another date with someone else
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u/Available_Music3807 1d ago
It’s not really dating if you don’t go on a date. I feel like you might be the strange one here. I’m not saying you should date this person, but if you wanna date people in real life you gotta actually go on dates. The successful daters that I know tend to spend as little time texting as possible. Just talk to each other on your dates
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u/Alphalenybudy71 1d ago
Whats crazy is when I was on dating apps I would make real effort and do my best to stimulate engaging conversations and was met with 0 interest from women. So I stopped dating. If im meant to find someone we will find each other
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u/LalowTree 1d ago
Going on lots of dates is slow burning. How else are you supposed to get to know someone? You're the weird one here.
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u/WeatherInfinite39 1d ago
In my day we went on a date and might had talked once before the date? It’s more exciting that way I think.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Egg4386 1d ago
For decades, people have gone on dates TO get to know a person. I understand that in 2026 it can be scary to meet somebody in person if you dont already know them, but not everybody is wired for texting and facetime. Some people wanna do it the old fashioned way and go get coffee or a drink as the means of getting to know a person. I cannot tell you if that is accurate for this guy or not.
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u/Accomplished-Leg6947 1d ago
Im not a girl but if someone I just met started calling me "baby girl" I would insta-block. That shits creepy and weird
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u/tweak8 1d ago
Dunno how you think you can get to know the person YOU swiped on, but some want to talk early and others in person. You likely aren't going to have a text relationship if it works out, so acting like he is a problem doesn't cover your own. Why be so aggressive in the start? Just say you want a FaceTime or text a bit to feel more comfortable with a stranger.
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u/Ohsnapppenen 1d ago
Well I am cooked bc I literally thought going on a date was the chemistry test.
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u/HelldiverWilly 1d ago
I understand this might feel like the safer option if you’re a woman, but “getting to know” each other over text is incomparable to in person.
Over text you only get to see the manufactured version of them that they are choosing to portray. In person you get to see them in real time.
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u/GypsyWoman2021 1d ago
The “good morning baby Girl” is a red flag this early in a relationship. They haven’t even gone on a date yet.
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u/FailTheSunToShine 1d ago
Call me crazy but if someone calls you "Baby girl" who's barely talked to you and hasn't even gone out with you yet; red flag dude. Also, use some fuckin proper grammar, not worth the date lol
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u/crypto_zoologistler 1d ago
FaceTiming before deciding whether to date someone is really off imo, I wouldn’t be down for that at all
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u/shiggyhisdiggy 1d ago
Isn't the point of a date to get to know someone? Why are we doing pres for dating now?
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u/Elastoid 1d ago
My response would be shrug If I'm interested in someone I go on a date to get to know them better. I didn't think it was that complicated.
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u/DoubleZ3 1d ago
a FEW WEEKS and havnt gone out yet?
In all honesty you can't possibly really know if you have a genuine connection with someone unless you're in person.
Yeah you can get an idea through text, FaceTime is better but it's not remotely close to actually meeting and talking vs just talking on the phone.
maybe that's unpopular idk but it USED to be you get someone's number you may or may not even talk before going on a date and the date is where you can find out if you have a connection.
you've wasted a few weeks trying to see if there's a connection when you probably would already have that answer if you went out once, twice.
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u/flyboi320 23h ago
Texts are a waste of time. Meeting is way faster and you know if your energy matches
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u/Nappy_By_Nature 23h ago
You can't get to know a person over text. Facial expressions, body language and other social cues when added to the words coming out of a person's mouth gives much clearer insight into the person.
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u/Zestyclose_Visit4834 23h ago
I don't really get the response here tbh. It may not be your personal preferred way to get to know someone, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to get to know someone better in person rather than over text first. He came off a little strong but you came off a little passive aggressive with your response. I don't think either of you are wrong for your communication preference, but maybe not compatible
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u/Inevitable_Sail_6766 23h ago
I despise facetime calls, they’re so awkward and i have a hard time filling the silence. I’m much more naturally conversational in person.
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u/GavinB_SVT 1d ago
I am so not looking forward to being back in the mf dating pool