C (38F, grey text) and I (29F, blue text) both started travel nursing contracts around the same time at this hospital (July) and wound up clicking with one of their staff nurses, H (33F). It was pretty obvious to me and anyone with functional eyesight that they were romantically interested in each other, I supported them in doing whatever they wanted. Early on in September, C and I both moved into H’s house after she asked us to. Things were going pretty well even though it kind of sucked feeling like a third wheel and often times like I was invisible. I just sort of chalked it up to new relationship energy and tried not to let it bug me too much.

I recently discovered and lost my first pregnancy and they were the only ones at work that knew about it. I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions about it understandably but I’m told I’m handling it well. I came back home the other day for a week off between my first contracted 3 months and my extension - another 3 months. In the middle of the night C sends me this text with zero forewarning. The “feeling I got” is more so referencing how I’ve always sort of felt like an intrusion to them, which I’ve mentioned in the past and they were adamant that wasn’t true.

Edit: guys. He’s an Italian Italian. He moved here a few years ago. Thought I just triggered my boyfriend. Didn’t know I’d trigger reddit too.

I love him so much though!!!!! Not sure where he got hopping and climbing stairs from as 3 year old toddler traits but okay!

I wanted to share some more towards the beginning of our conversations. Reposting because some people didn’t want to go back and look at my other post. So I do need to make it clear that HE IS BLOCKED AND I AM NOT SPEAKING TO HIM ANYMORE.

We’re both 17. I told him I liked him a couple months ago and he said maybe and we can see if we could try in the future so I wanted to check in about it. He mentioned weight because I am a bit bigger and he knows it’s something i’m insecure about so he wanted to be nice I guess

For short context we met a year ago and we just recently started talking. If I knew why would I keep talking to him. Omg i’ve given up on dating🫠

He thought he was such a hotshot lawyer because he participated in undergraduate mock trial! States of residence redacted.

At the time it was really scary and I saved a bunch of screenshots in case it escalated from digital harassment to stalking. Fortunately it did not. Found them cleaning up my files.

It's been about 10 years now and I can laugh about how absurd it all was, so please enjoy.

And for those of you in your early 20s, especially women, be safe out there. Leaving a relationship is the most volatile time for any sort of abuse to worsen. Do not date people who do not demonstrate to you through consistent patterns of behavior (actions not words) that they have the emotional maturity and basic human decency to treat you with respect at all times, especially when they do not get what they want.

Context, I sent an Instagram of a beefy guy saying I wish I looked like him. I don't think I want to anymore based on the method of getting there.

i stood up for someone, and of course this happened

I have purple hair and he likes harmonicas, for context

We went on 2 dates, both went well and we had fun. But the chemistry wasn’t there and this was the end result. Honestly, I do really appreciate how sweet she was about it.

Mostly posting this because I thinks it’s a nice contrast to the many of the crazy texts we see on here. Don’t get me wrong, I find them very entertaining with how wild some of them are. But I think it’s good to show some normalcy with how dating can go, or rather should go.

She was only 18. I was 25. I never met her in person. I tried, I had a ticket for a train to meet her. That ticket ended up being used to go to her funeral. She died that night. Took her own life. I should have just fucking called her.

I just met him a few weeks ago and he gave me his number. I like slow burning connections because that way I get a better sense of who I'm getting involved with before I allow him to take me on a date. I don’t really know much about him, so I try to set up FaceTime calls at a convenient time for both of us, but he’s not giving me much to work with

I ran a few "social experiments" on dating apps a year/couple years ago. The experience turned me off from wanting to interact with men for a long long time. This is from the time of the experiments. This is actually very tame.

Edit: To preface, I didnt go into the experiments purely with the intentions of them being experiments. It started out as "what would happen if i did xyz, what can i change to get better matches, why am I not getting people who are serious about relationships when i have explicitly stated I am only looking for a long term relationship". As time went on I realized how bad, sinister, and disgusting things really were.

I felt like it was too complicated and drawn out to explain the experiments. It was a while ago and i dont remember everything from all of them. And for more info Id need to share info i dont want to but this is the summary:

Profile 1: "fairy/nerd"/ who i actually am aesthetic: Ren faire pics, pics of my video game collection, cute pic of me with natural makeup. No body pics other than the stereotypical modest ren faire dress w corset.

Profile 2: "princess" aesthetic: nicer clothes, light pink outfits, a pretty red dress.

Profile 3: dark alternative aesthetic (men would frequently call this goth or emo..) literally just black clothing, fishnets and black eyeliner. Black shirt, Grey cargo skirt, fishnets and black combat boots.

The bio on the profiles was roughly the same, "looking for long term only" was a constant. I would change the rest of it every now and then. Although I dont think men actually read the bio and if they do, they disregard it if it doesn't fit their wants.

Hypothesis: 1)men who use dating apps have commitment issues due to the nature and algorithm of dating apps. Which gives men the mindset of always looking for something better and moving on from someone they have could have a real connection with for a chance with "something better", rinse and repeat to keep app usage. 2) men arent looking to date on these apps and they all just want to fuck. 3) The aesthetic i present myself with changes how men view me, and thus, treat me.

All of the above is true from the results of my experiments. Profile 1 got a mix of good looking and bad looking likes/matches but the ones that actually pursued were red flags or made incorrect assumptions about me ( like I would be an easy fuck or i had no standards)

Profile 2 got less bad looking likes/ matches and treated/ spoken to better overall, but total matches were less and generally i was not pursued by those that would be good matches.

Profile 3 was the most polarizing. Got a ton of likes/matches but ALL of them were only interested in sex. Only sex. It didnt matter what I said in my bio or how mean I was in chat. They all wanted to fuck. In fact, I could be mean and they liked it. Buy got no respect. I did not go on any dates with them because none of them were worth the effort. Most of them would say "come over" almost immediately. Many of them completely expected me to just go over to a strangers house and fuck them. Many of them would become aggressive when I said no. Pretty sure I spoke to at least a couple murderers. (Ones who REALLY wanted me to come to their house after a 5 min text exchange, or meet them at a hiking trail or something and didnt want to hear "No". Actually kinda scary)

Working Theory: 1)men who use dating apps will usually have commitment issues due to the nature and algorithm of dating apps. Which gives men the mindset of always looking for something better and moving on from someone they have could have a real connection with for a chance with "something better", rinse and repeat to keep app usage. This combined with porn afflictions affects their brains in multiple ways in relationships.

2) men arent really looking to date on these apps and 99% just want to fuck. I think even with profile 2 the men who pursued me "respectfully" just wanted to fuck and got bored when it didnt happen after 2 dates.

3) The aesthetic women present with changes how men view them/us, and thus, differences in treatment.

4) the closer you are to a porn category, the more men will disrespect you and treat you like a sex toy/ sex object. Conversely, if you do not fit into a porn category, like profile 1, men do not find you as attractive or "want" you as much as the one that fits into the porn category (profile 3) I think this is because of men's need for approval from other men.

5) the sweeter you look, the more men think you are stupid.

6) another element i played with in profile 2 and 3 was job optics. If i put a high paying job (Software QA) with profile 2, matches slowed and conversations fizzled out. In profile 3, I dont think they were actually reading anything, combined with not seeing me as a "viable" partner for a relationship, so for the most part it didnt really seem to matter. A few people asked me what it was and that was about it.

7)the more men think of you as a sex object, the more dangerous it is for a woman to say No.

OG post: https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/AwqRuFerVq

so i cut off my ex friend, ill call her Nicki. text is between me and my current friend, Val, that she crashed out to. Val is also cutting her off after how she was talking about me in addition to some of her own grievances.

before this all happened, i didnt say anything to let nicki know my side or my explanation for going. it felt redundant after how many times i tried to talk this out with her. i just quietly blocked her and she found out pretty quickly.

Nicki had a lot of mean stuff to say about me and said a lot to Val. A lot of it was untrue and quickly disproven. Val sent me a lot of messages of what Nicki was saying because i asked to see.

after the initial shock, hurt, and anger i felt relief. i kinda knew she felt that way about me and i dont know why i was fighting my own intuition for so long. it hurt, but there was a comfort in knowing this is someone who will never respect me.

so i ended up getting closure in that way. so trust ur gut.

So this girl came into my life randomly over Facebook. We have been chatting and hitting it off, we have hung out 4 times, and this last hang out we kissed. That was last night. I woke up to this text this morning. And I'm very confused... She openly admits that she's getting over her ex (they broke up 2 years ago but still speak) and one thing you should know about her is that shes very reserved, and very... Well, prude is the word I want to use but I feel like that word is derogatory... So the fact that she came at me with "horny mess" blows my mind. It's almost like it's the next step of this situationship, to begin to be sexual... So it's nice and little exciting to see her admit this...but she's telling me she doesn't want to see me anymore in the same breath? What do I even say to this? I haven't responded yet.

got em

With the way this dude typed, I wonder if he was a scam bot or something. He had a black and white muscle pfp

I’ve never ever gotten DMs like this when I left my pfp blank (or really on any social media- I usually stay anonymous). But after setting a pfp on my Insta, I’ve gotten multiple versions of these texts, which I’ve ignored since then, and also started getting a bunch of follow requests from random people

Inb4 “you shouldn’t have left him on read for that long” comments - he texted at odd times and I had work in the day. I only responded when I was free

Edit: I appreciate the concern! However I mostly posted this for laughs. I’m not about to open another DM request from a stranger any time soon

We barely talked on hinge before I got his number. I asked him what he was looking for. I totally get it, and I think he has valid points but maybe I’m overlooking it. He’s 25! Im 18.

We’ve been together 5 months (F33,M35) and I learn he had these in conversation last month. They are pics from the last 10 years of women he has dated - apparently no ex-girlfriends. I’ve brought it up one other time and today I finally expressed that it’s a dealbreaker for me.

I happen to be going away this weekend with a group of friends (mixed men and women), but none of who I have any history with. The coordinators of this weekend are a poly couple (the woman is my close friend) no one else is poly, but some are married some are single. He has previously expressed uncomfort with it but says he has trust in me.

I have been very loud about trust because he admit to cheating on his last girlfriend. I think I just need you all to tell me how dumb I am. This feels like such a stupid way to end a relationship.