Am I cooked?? Last image of the set was just before I started T last year.
33 years old, I’ve been on T for a year, and I only recently found out that there is still room for me to up my dosage and that the dose Planned Parenthood had me on this whole first year was still pretty low dose even after upping it a little bit.
Since I hit the 1 year mark on T, the past few weeks I’m finally having more frequent moments of looking a lot more naturally masc than I used to. My dose did get slightly upped at my most recent PP appointment, but we’re keeping a close eye on some muscle cramping issues I’ve had since my low dosage first got upped in early spring, so if that fully resolves itself now that I’m taking magnesium supplements and eating more potassium based foods, only then do they feel comfortable upping my dose more.
But even after recently cutting my hair, letting my facial hair have its moments of visibility instead of constantly keeping it clean shaven while it’s been in patchy puberty times, switching parts of my closet to actually be from the men’s section especially jeans, and a little bit of voice training, I am still getting “ma’am’d” and “she’d” by the general public alllllll the time. I bartend full-time so I talk with my regulars and strangers almost everyday and it’s just getting so frustrating to be misgendered constantly. I am pretty friendly at work and smile a lot and probably accidentally go into a higher speaking register for working service, so I could see all of this contributing to the misgendering unfortunately.
Sense of style wise, I know this probably part of why I get misgendered cause I’m still wearing a lot of my pre-T clothes, but my clothes before transitioning were already pretty androgynous fits, and I’d say being a mostly gay trans dude, I prefer dressing in a way that’s a little fruity and not so boring dude-bro vibes.
I also definitely need better binders, I only have one real binder right now from For Them that might be a little snug cause it pushes my breast tissue up in a way that looks a little weird, and the rest of my closet is just compressing sports bras. If you have recommendations for binders that would fit a thicker guy (C cup sized mostly) send them my way!
I wear size L-XL tops and size 40 pants (16 in women’s) these days. I was already chubby before T but I have gained 15 lbs since starting T and it’s mostly gone to my gut. With the muscle cramping being bad a few months ago, I had stopped going to the gym completely in the winter/spring and softened up quite a bit, but now that the cramping has mostly stopped, I’m trying to be actively back in the gym and do some stair-master cardio to lose my gut I’ve developed and also really train my muscles at least 3 times a week. I follow workouts online but I really have no idea what I’m doing lol. And motivation to work out is really hard for me, but damn am I trying to at the very least lift dumbbells and kettlebells and do pull ups at home at least a little bit daily. I am especially seeing progress with my biceps muscles finally coming in, my arms are starting to get big!!!
Anyways, is there ANYTHING else I can be doing to pass better??? Do I just have to keep letting T do its thing and pray I can up my dose in a couple months when I go back for my next blood test? On top of all of this, I am TRYING to date and even though there is a decent sized gay community in my city, the cis gay guys don’t want anything to do with me. Lesbians are still hitting on me, but even though I am technically bisexual, that’s just not what I’m into these days and that just makes me feel dysphoric tbh. I just wanna have a lil promiscuous era but no one has been showing compatible mutual attraction. I’m trying so hard to exude more natural confidence but idk what else I’m doing wrong. PLEASE HELP!!
