r/transmanlifehacks • • 20d ago

IMPORTANT INFO Mod Post: Rules Regarding Feminine Presentation

415 Upvotes

Hi lads!

We once again have been considering the general thoughts and opinions of those using this sub, and have decided to reiterate the purpose of this sub, and some relevant rules.

First a disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with being a fem presenting trans man.

Having said this, this sub is specifically for the following:

1) Sharing tips to help users pass as a cisgender man, specifically how to be masculine presenting.

2) Sharing other advice useful to transition.

Keeping this is mind, we would like be clear on a few important points:

1) This is not a sub for asking for tips on how to be a feminine presenting trans man.
Not only will the responses not be helpful for you, but also it is frustrating for other sub users when posters are combative in the comments regarding masculinising advice. Posters need to be realistic about the fact that presenting fem will not help you pass especially early on in transition.

2) Please do not respond to advice to change a feminine characteristic (for example, cutting long hair) with ‘well, CIS men have long hair sometimes!’
We simply do not want to hear it. It should be obvious how a cis man, who always passes as a man because he was born as one, can wear makeup/have long hair/etc without it making him look like a woman. It should also be plainly obvious that a trans man (who was born a woman, sounds like a woman, and in many of these cases is not on T and therefore still has a ‘woman’s face’) cannot do these things without looking like a woman.

This is the number one reason for arguments in the comments in this sub and moving forwards mods will be more decisive with dealing with such comments.

3) We have added ‘no makeup’ to the ‘no filters’ rule.
If you want advice from this sub, please at least do the bare minimum of taking off any makeup before asking how to pass better. If you don’t, you won’t get any helpful advice as all the comments will just be telling you to stop wearing makeup. It also makes it hard for us to see how masculine your face really is.

4) We are going to be enforcing rule #3 more strictly from now on.
You must be willing to change if you post here, we do not accept posts from users who argue with every comment and come up with a reason they can’t do even basic steps like getting a hair cut. They are frustrating for users and also disingenuous. This is not a validation sub, it is an advice sub. If you are seen to be very unaccepting for advice in the comments, we will remove either your comments of the post entirely.

Some of this might seem a bit harsh, but remember there as SO MANY subs and spaces for people with a more fluid/fem gender presentation. We are just trying to reserve a small corner of the internet for us, trans men who wish to pass masculine/cis.

Hope this helps!

- MODs


r/transmanlifehacks • • 26d ago

NAME HELP MASTER POST

18 Upvotes

this doesnt exist so im taking it on me to make one. this isnt intended to be a "look here and shut up about names" post, this is genuinely intended to be helpful

there are three basic ways id go about naming yourself. first way is to ask your parents whatever they would have named you or otherwise pass the baton onto the people who care about you the most. obviously dont use your parents if they arent supportive, but if theyre supportive its probably the best way to do it. if you consider your friends your family pass it to them, but id highly advise you dont give it to friends you arent really family with or randoms on the internet

second way is to look at the most popular baby boy names for the year you were born. i know everyone likes to be unique, but you can do this and still be unique. theres an issue with trans names where you can tell if someone is trans based on what they name themselves and the crux of that is usually that people will name themselves the same way they'd name, like, a dog. if you dont want your name to be clocky id highly recommend using this method or the above. i used this and collaborated with my parents on it and im really happy with what i chose. you can get a lot of good ideas and most countries release this information publicly

third way is to just steal the name of someone you greatly admire. probably the best way to get a clocky name, but if you dont really care about that then you shouldnt really worry about it. if you care about something enough to consider naming yourself after it go right ahead, just be aware that you might fall out of love with a piece of media or the person who made it might turn out to be a piece of shit

naming yourself isnt like, a permanent thing either. you can change it if you end up not liking it. cis people do it all the time. i dunno, just figured id give my two cents


r/transmanlifehacks • • 6h ago

Minor (if you are a minor, use this flair) Is this haircut okay for passing? Not sure what to do with length / texture. (17, pre-t)

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233 Upvotes

I like this length but I feel any longer or any shorter would tip me over the passing line and when that does happen I tend to just wear a hat. Feel like it’ll take a trim pretty often to keep it at this length too. Any advice what to do with hair? My hair is also naturally very straight so this is it permed, I like how it looks after the perm has grown out but this is like 2-3 months after I got the perm

Also curious as to if I pass okay as well


r/transmanlifehacks • • 4h ago

Question Could my scars pass stealth?

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56 Upvotes

I’m planning on using the locker room to start hitting the gym + just generally being shirtless more, would my scars be clocky? I am trying to lose weight and gain more chest muscle, but I’m not sure if its good now. For reference I am completely cis passing


r/transmanlifehacks • • 5h ago

Minor (if you are a minor, use this flair) Getting misgendered at work (minor pre-t)

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60 Upvotes

I get misgendered at work a lot by customers which makes sense because I don’t pass perfectly and I can’t bind because my shifts are too long. My problem is that I also get misgendered by one of my coworkers. I told her that I was a trans man when we first met but maybe she thought that meant mtf? I know she’s super catholic but her best friend is a gay man and she’s always been super nice to me other than the misgendering. I feel awkward about talking to her about it. :/

anyway, is there anything I can do to help me pass more at work and deal with this coworker? These are some pretty terrible pictures of me but I don’t really care

Edit: a lot of people are saying to just thug it out and bind at work. I CANNOT do that. I appreciate everyone’s advice but I already have some issues in my torso from past injuries.

Edit 2: wow wasn’t expecting this sub to be so harsh, but I guess I really needed a rude awakening like that if what y’all are saying is true! 😅 Thanks for the advice everyone!


r/transmanlifehacks • • 7h ago

Question Passing well does not invalidate your dysphoria.

62 Upvotes

Saw a post from a few days ago of a guy posting his top surgery results, asking if there is anything he could do to improve the look of his chest. He had what lots of trans men would consider “ideal” results. No visible scars, well proportioned. His surgeon did an excellent job.

Comments were filled with people saying he is “ragebaiting” and “fishing for compliments”, asking him what he was even complaining about. He was getting downvoted to hell when trying to explain that he still experiences dysphoria, and that he lacks confidence and still has trouble going out shirtless.

Someone passing well does not invalidate their personal experience of dysphoria. I don’t understand how less passing trans men will actively begin to push out those who do pass well.

This is supposed to be a supportive community. How are people actively going to create a divide with their fellow trans brothers because they have results that they want? Why are people acting like passing well eliminates all dysphoria? Regardless of if he passes or not, he’s still trans. Us trans guys should have the understanding that sometimes we hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations in comparison with cis men, so why is he unable to express that just because he passes well?

Dysphoria can be lifelong for trans people, regardless of their passing ability. Instead of invalidating someone’s feelings of dysphoria and saying they’re “baiting”, maybe try to see where they’re coming from. Transitioning is a constant battle. People may feel like they personally have to continue to make changes, even if others don’t think so. It shouldn’t be his problem that you can’t fathom someone can continue to experience dysphoria when everything seemingly looks “perfect”. What is perfect for you may not be perfect for someone else.

After transitioning in 2016 at age 12 and being gender non conforming for years before, never have I EVER seen this kind of divide amongst trans men. I had top surgery with similar results as the person I’n referring to, and my chest dysphoria persisted for YEARS afterwards. People who pass well are just as valid as those who may not. We should be uplifting each other, not tearing others down. We know how tough it is to be trans. We face constant discrimination. And, as much as it sucks, it continues even when you begin to pass.

Do not begin to put conditions on being trans. It goes both ways.


r/transmanlifehacks • • 17h ago

Tips, Tricks, & Advice Hair tips from a hair dresser

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107 Upvotes

So three hair cuts among men that are popular right now are taper fades, subtle mullets and a more flowy middle part.

The taper fade, its just as shown in picture pretty much, a classic cut with a typically messy fringe and faded side burns and neck. Both fades and hard lines are viewed as masculine, which is where this one works so well, with the faded nech and side burns and the hard lines around the ears and side of neck, a full fade can look softer and less masculine so combining them with the harder lines arounf the sides, is an easy way for any hair cut to read masculine. Its typically teenagers that get this

A subtle mullet, really is just a classic with shorter sides that can be tapered or left with a side burn. Its a good option of you present more alternative, its easy to maintain and the slightly longer neck helps elongate your head which reads more masculine.

Any type of middle part is a grey area, now I get why its so popular, its flowy and high class looking and looks effortless, but really its a high maintenance cut disguised as low maintenance, it really only suits thicker hair and with some form of wave imo.

It can also read very androgynous especially on younger guys, too long it gives pixie, too short just looks kinda akward, you need to hit that sweet spot and when you get it its important to go relatively often to get it touched up, no joke I have guys come in every 3-4 weeks to maintain this.

I rarely suggest this even to cis guys, only time I really suggest this is if they have a cowlick that gives no other option.

Crew cuts and buzz cuts are a great option, classic, easy, depending on how short you want you can really just get a clipper cut. Bit remember, you need shorter sides even with a buzz cut, the shaping will read a lot more masculine than just one guard all over, especially if youre going to grow it out.

Now a suggestion I see a lot are longer cuts, shags, mullets etc.

Being brutally honest here, if you want to pass, anything that covers the ears fully will look androgynous at best, i get that it shapes the face but the length will still not give masculine, unless you have other qualities that read masculine like beard growth, voice etc.

I get that men with long hair look awesome, (trust i want that cool long shaf myself) but even cis men with long hair get misgendered at times.

For styling at the most basic a paste, a light weight paste will work for most hairs, both gor messy and more neat looks. Start at the back a t the crown and work the product to the front at the fringe, this will distribute the product evenly and be longer lasting.

NB. Dont take anything I say as my way or the highway, if you have a cut that I wouldn't suggest but is happy wirh it, rock that shit!


r/transmanlifehacks • • 1d ago

Needing Advice I’m miserable, feel like I only have a 20% chance of slightly passing when I mog. When I start smiling it’s over

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372 Upvotes

I’ll be two years on T in December. I feel so fucking doomed. I felt so good looking today and was able to look cute guys in the eyes, had a pep in my step, but after some misgendering from staff ended up walking home feeling like the ugliest lesbian in the world. Also for context I’m in Mexico City so the fashion here is different from the US, I feel like I’m more or less starting to get the hang of dressing like the other cute twinks here, but my face is so soft. I don’t know what to do.


r/transmanlifehacks • • 17m ago

Question Frustrated with my hormone therapy

• Upvotes

I feel that my transition with testosterone was of no use. I think I'm extremely feminine And it hurts me so much, because I see many guys with little time of use of T and they are already super hairy and masculine. Sorry for the english


r/transmanlifehacks • • 6h ago

Needing Advice Is my hair getting too long?

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10 Upvotes

THIS IS NOT ABOUT MY HAIR COLOR. I AM GOING TO RE-DYE IT LATER TONIGHT, JUST HAD TO WAIT FOR THE PAYCHECK TO HIT BEFORE I COULD MAKE THAT HAPPEN

I'm a broke college student, so I usually cut my own hair. But, it's been messing with my dysphoria lately in terms of length, so I was considering going to a barber and getting a professional cut. Is it getting too long?


r/transmanlifehacks • • 4h ago

Seeking Tips how to pass better?

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6 Upvotes

I (22M) have been on T for a year now and i’m passing about 50% of the time with strangers but at work some of my coworkers that know my pronouns still slip up sometimes :/. They’re all supportive and i work in a pretty accepting environment i’m just wondering if i can do anything else to pass better. I don’t bind at work so my chest is definitely visible and that could be it, but im not sure. I do have some facial hair but it’s just a neck beard and dirt stache so i shave it. It also may just be that I need to be more patient since I haven’t been on T for that long.


r/transmanlifehacks • • 1h ago

Before and After (only to be used WITH advice) What am I doing wrong?

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• Upvotes

Recently got a haircut and I still don’t pass, anything helps


r/transmanlifehacks • • 3h ago

Minor (if you are a minor, use this flair) Passing tips? (FtM)

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3 Upvotes

I'm a 15 year old trans guy. (FtM) And I came out to a lot of people as a trans guy but I keep getting misgendered (accident or not) by strangers, my friends, and my family (specifically my sisters). I can't really cut my hair that short because I might get grounded for a really long time like my sister when she got a bob. (The one with the long hair was a photo from last year. The ones with the semi-short hair are more recent photos and the dress is a dress for Homecoming.)


r/transmanlifehacks • • 23h ago

Needing Advice Am I okay to not bind?

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109 Upvotes

I bind 24/7 but my chest has shrunk significantly over the past few months. Idk if attaching a photo of myself will be helpful in comparison. I mostly bind for my own peace of mind but idk if I actually need it


r/transmanlifehacks • • 4h ago

Needing Advice Stealth age voice estimate

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3 Upvotes

Hey, I've been on a T gel (23 mg/daily) for 8 months now. I had a high pitched girly voice back then. Even though I'm aware that the T effects take their time, for joining some online communities, I'd like to be seen as stealth. I wonder how feminine/androgynous/masculine does my voice sound. And if it leans more masculine, how old (for a cis man) could I pass as?

Thanks for your time, guys (yeah, kinda random voice record)

Tldr: If I were a cis man, how old would I sound?


r/transmanlifehacks • • 17h ago

Minor (if you are a minor, use this flair) would a diffrent cut make me pass more

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27 Upvotes

ive been thinking alot about my style recently in relation to my transition, mostly my hair. its really how i feel most comfortable and me, and i do really like it and would deff miss it. but i also really feel like it makes people take me alot less serious as a transsexual.

but also my face and body and voice are just naturally very feminine so its not really like i can do much than im already doing. i usually dont get clocked unless i speak, but i feel like im extremely clockable. would a different haircut actually do anything…?

T is only a few years away so it might just be a waiting game


r/transmanlifehacks • • 10h ago

Minor (if you are a minor, use this flair) 16- about to get a haircut, mom says I should take the front and sides up, do we agree? Any other tips appreciated

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5 Upvotes

Showing with and without glasses to get an idea of where it should sit (also how the HELL DO YOU TAKE SERIOUS PICTURES GENUINELY??)
What should I ask for?


r/transmanlifehacks • • 21h ago

Seeking Tips What should I do too pass better (read text as well pls)

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34 Upvotes

My plans so far:
dying hair natural
Getting lipo on thighs and ass if I can
Facial masculinization surgery
Top surgery
Becoming a gym rat

Plans for the next couple of years, main goal is top surg, going back on T next week. I bind and wear men’s clothing. Etc.

All tips help, criticism is welcomed.


r/transmanlifehacks • • 5h ago

Seeking Tips Help for hip dysphoria

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I'm pre-everything and have the absolute worst hip and ass dysphoria ever. Does anyone have any advice on how to dress to try to combat it? At the moment, I mostly wear black cargos to try to make my ass look smaller and square out my legs, and a thick hoodie/sweatshirt with a jacket on top to try to bulk out my shoulders so my hips look smaller in comparison, but I was wondering if anyone else had any advice. Absolutely anything would be appreciated, like what colours and styles work best. Any specific types of jackets to make my shoulders look bigger? Types of sweatshirts that don't dip inwards at the waist? Just anything to try to deal with it. Thank you in advance.


r/transmanlifehacks • • 8h ago

Seeking Tips Glasses help

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3 Upvotes

Getting new glasses next year, need help in getting some more masculine glasses


r/transmanlifehacks • • 3h ago

Tips, Tricks, & Advice Facial hair, hairstyle, and general advice

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1 Upvotes

Hello guys, a few questions id like to ask

1) I've been using a little razor to shave the minor amount of facial hair I get from testosterone for about a year now. My facial hair is far from impressive but if I leave it I do get a kind of shadow effect. I'm not sure if facial hair really suits my look, and so far I have been shaving it cause it's just kinda wispy/not very concentrated I personally prefer a kind barefaced/youthful "Kpop idols" look however I understand that's hard to pass with

2) I genuinely don't know what kind of hairstyle would look good on me. I don't hate this hairstyle. In the first picture, it's more recent and i trimmed a tiny bit of the framing locks that curve into the cheeks. I feel like I'm just trying to avoid the classic Asian bowl cut. I don't think I'll look good with my hair any shorter than this, but "long" men's haircuts make me feel too feminine

3) I've been on testosterone for two years now. Last December, it says my free testosterone is 619 pmol/l (google says in men it should be around 173.5 to 846.8 pmol/L)

I may be reading the lab values wrong (I'll ask my doctor) but I think it says my total Testosterone is 20.9 nmol/I which is over ten times higher than the recommended 2 nmol/I 😅

Overall my lab values seem okay so I don't think low testosterone is to be blamed. Should I continue waiting to see more results? I feel like I still look very much like a girl


Basically could I get away with longer hair, should I try to leave my facial hair out and is there anything else I can do


r/transmanlifehacks • • 1d ago

Needing Advice Does it look better?

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43 Upvotes

Took the few people’s advice and chopped it, does it make me pass more? first 4 before cut


r/transmanlifehacks • • 1d ago

Question (Pre-T) Could I decently pass like this with a deeper voice? + How'd you perceive me?

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161 Upvotes

I don't care about being effeminate and as I have been told my appearance is sort of androgynous. I am aware of that. A lot of people gender me as a boy before I speak. Next year I'll start T + DHT blocker. I probably could be stealth if I wanted, considering I can present sufficiently masculine(?). I remember back when I was eleven, I had short hair and wore a skirt to an ice cream shop and was called 🚬 by two old ladies. This happened consistently within other contexts aswell. The thing is, my objective isn't to be excessively masculine, also because that makes me feel unattractive and bad about my transition overall. I want to be an androgynous boy, and I hope I can succeed, yet be majorly more read as a boy in my social circles. Does that make sense?

A lot of the younger people and the people my age also ask me if I'm non-binary upon meeting me. I don't exactly consider myself enby, just a boy. I think a deeper voice would help. I don't do voice training – sometimes I worry about getting a weird voice because of that, but I already speak with the back of my throat.

Weird story..
After losing my voice for 2 weeks because of a flu, once, I woke up and my voice was back, but very, very different. It was like that Gravity Falls episode where Dipper drinks a narrator potion, not even exaggerating. That day I was too embarrassed to speak but my classmates were surprised by my voice, my dad spit his drink when he heard me, and two peers + one pizza delivery man told me my voice was pretty. I think that was one of the weirdest things to ever happen to me – I wonder if the T will do that? My voice was considerably lower and I experienced euphoria upon being gendered correctly and people liking my voice ontop of that, that day.

Very embarrassed to put my face on reddit once more so I might delete or lock this later. Srry bout anything. Really. Please dont hate me. No body picture cause body is whatever, I just look flat and wear baggier clothes. Will start gym though. I don't wear much accessories.


r/transmanlifehacks • • 1d ago

Seeking Tips passing tips

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98 Upvotes

7 months T pre op

trying 2 grow my hair long (ultimate transition goal is dylan brady lmao let me know if i can achieve that) but if its too clocky i might cut it

ignore how stoned i am in the 3rd photo lol


r/transmanlifehacks • • 16h ago

Seeking Tips any tips? i'm 20, 2 months on T, 5'6". have been going to the gym for about a month now

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7 Upvotes