And i know they should be able to “tough it out” for one day but alas here we are and so I was thinking maybe one walks me the first part and the other walks me the second part but one will be butt hurt they aren’t doing the hand over and they don’t want to go on either of my arms at the same time

Any ideas I do love and want both of them somehow part of my walk down

My very Catholic parents are distraught that I am not planning a Catholic wedding. I wish it were as easy as putting my foot down, but my parents cannot stop lecturing/guilting/shaming me when I see them ad nauseum and honestly, it feels like doing something would be easier to just put this to rest.

My dad mentioned we could do a blessing/ceremony that's not a full blown mass to receive the sacrament. I haven't seen much of that online. Has anyone done something like that?

Hi! I got married 2 weeks ago and I’m so happy! I have a great husband and he enjoyed our day so much. Sadly I keep dwelling on things that didn’t go right.

First it rained on the day which I know is good luck but I really wanted a sunny outdoor ceremony. But our flowers and decor were so beautiful! I wish I had told my planner as well for people to fill in seats as there was a big hole of no one seated in them and people had their phone out to record.

Reception was great, my husband and I had a short dance and so did my dad and I since I was so nervous being the center of attention. Our food and drinks were great and our cake cutting and champagne tower were good!

The dance floor was in waves as the dj did play some music I had on our do not play list so sometimes it was a little dead. One guest had told my family as well that the room could’ve been split up more for people to mingle as we had 2 long tables of family and then a head table and one side of the room had family and the other were me and my husband’s friends. This made me overthink because our people had to mingle too.

I just keep overthinking everything. I don’t know how to move past the overthinking.

Hi, our wedding isn't until 11 months from now, and we have been engaged for over 9 months. I wanted a long engagement because I was picky about my venue and my fiance and I are paying for the entire thing ourselves so we need to save up. I'm also a full time graduate student, full time working, and my fiance is constantly on deployments. So my hands are full and I haven't had time to send out my save the dates (I promise they are written out and stamped). But for the past 3 months everyone keeps hounding me for information. I'm very frustrated because all of our friends get married what seems like fast, withing 6 months or less from engagement. So why is everyone so pressed about details. I've been asked multiple times what's the venue called (I give people location but don't want to spoil my venue), they ask what food were having, what time the wedding is, where our wedding registry is, who the officiant is, etc.

Here's my issue:

First, it's not my close friends or family asking, it's my fiances distant uncles or cousins, or my step family asking. No one that was actually want to include in the planning process (unfortunately people I don't care if they show up or not).

Second, whyyyy do they need to know all these things. My bridesmaids aren't bothering me with what food and attire details so why are you. Why are you already trying to show me what dress you're wearing to my wedding (I don't care)

Third, if anyone asks I give them the date, the city, and that's all they need. But like I have everything booked I just don't want people to know yet.

Everything just is stressing me out more and the more people ask the less I want to even do it. I've always dreamed of a wedding but my fiance wanted the biiiiig wedding and now it's all so much because ofc I'm the one planning since he's never home. Please tell me someone else has felt this way. I don't want to be a bridezilla getting mad because people want to know our venue. This venue just means a lot to me and I want it to be shown through the invitations and wedding website. I'm frustrated that people may go look at it beforehand. It seems so silly but it means everything to me.

Hi all! I’m hoping to get some help here. We are doing a backyard wedding next may. Ceremony and reception will take place in the same spot. My main question is, how to ensure a smooth transition from the ceremony to the reception. We will have about a 2 hour gap in between the ceremony and the reception to ensure our wedding guests get fed, pictures, and a proper amount of time to get the reception area ready to go in that amount of time. Do you usually assign it to certain people? Like the grooms and bridal party?? My idea is for my then-wife to have a couple minutes on our own after we walk back down after the ceremony while designated people start setting up tables and such. Then when we come back out we start doing pictures and dinner and such. Any advice?? TIA:)

I am the only bridesmaid (my mom is getting married) so I don’t have to match anyone.

I could not for the life of me find any stores within a few hours of me that sell bridesmaids dresses. I started asking around and all my friends say they’ve ordered theirs online.

I’d rather not, but if I must I will. What are some good websites? I’ve heard Azazie looks cheap but has a lot of options. Where else are people buying their dresses?

Also, I’ve never worn a dress before so I have no idea about sizes or fabrics or anything. Any advice helps!

Literally just had my wedding hours ago and here is the budget recap.

Invites : $50
Wedding dress: $500 (from a sample sale)
Alterations: $500 (dress was 2 sizes too big) Veil from Amazon: $37
Church donations/fees: $1,100
Set of gold wedding bands: 1,100
Photographer(only for church) $675
Hair:$195
A dozen champagne bottles: $68
Cheesecake Factory Cake: $45
Etsy Cat cake toppers: $17
Live Flowers for church: $40
Bridal Bouquet: $55 (fake flowers and lace from Michaels)
Mani/pedi: $75
Michaels decorations: $250
Groom: $100
Dry cleaning: $40
Food: $2500

Had to repost because I️ forgot to add the food cost.

Any crucial things I should know or be prepared for? Never attended a wedding nor been a best man. Seems like itll be quite casual for a wedding anyways. Only instructions I got from the couple is what color tie to wear.

okay so… i’ve never posted on reddit so like, bear with me.

f: 19, m: 19

im from the east coast, georgia. and my fiancé who i just got engaged to two weeks ago is from oregon. we both go to school in florida and we will both be joining the navy after college. i know there will be people who are like “omg you’re so young!” but we both just know we want to marry one another that’s not the point of this post…

the point is, is that we’re struggling to pick a place to have our ceremony that won’t likely happen until october 2028. we both want an outdoor wedding, ideally with mountains in the background— oregon is perfect. plus, oregon has no sales tax which can save us a lot in comparison to having in my home state.

only issue really is that i have more family, but his family is more dispersed.
so, if we have the wedding in oregon, my FIVE SIBLINGS (who im not crazy close with at all) have to fly to oregon and possibly drive an hour and a half or so (at most) depending on the venue and upset my mom who is already heartbroken that im “ruining tradition” by refusing to do a garter toss.
if we do the wedding in georgia, im asking his family, including just one sibling but also family from china, to go alllllll the way to georgia and possibly drive around 4 hours to the venue.

back to my mom btw… here are things she’s upset about:
- we dont want to have a garter toss and that makes her mad
- we dont want a church wedding and shes upset about that when she didnt even have one herself
- she thinks we should just elope for her own convenience
- she thinks im embracing his culture and letting it “kill” mine by having a tea ceremony (i haven’t even told her we want dragon dancers if its in our budget yet 😬)
- she’s mad i dont wanna have kids at our wedding that aren’t in the ceremony because “they make everything better” (trust me, i dont want my nieces and nephews there for plenty of reasons)
- my fiancé and i dont have interest in drinking and want to have a dry wedding more than likely
- there’s unfortunately more tbh

idk. id like advice and any will help. 😭😭😭

I feel like I'm just being silly and overthinking this..... I need to ask one more person to be a bridesmaid, but the problem is she lives on the other side of the country. I made little bags for all of them, her included. I just need to figure out a way to mail it to her. But should I send a text beforehand?? What if the package gets lost in the mail and I just never hear from her?? But i feel like a text is so impersonal and weird....

Some background: We're not super close. She's my fiances older sister. We've gone through periods where we text a lot, but we're both bad about keeping up conversations. Then she moved pretty far away so we only see her once every couple of years now.

While trying to remember what time the ceremony will be, I discovered today that the wedding agreement we signed has the wrong date. The date we agreed on and have been telling our loved ones is April 17th, 2027, but the date on the contract is May 15th. My fiancée and I are both in a panic because apparently no one noticed this error before now. What's more, the wedding coordinator at the venue has since retired.

I called the new coordinator today and explained my situation, and she told me that they indeed had us booked for 5/15 in their system. I asked to change it back to 4/17 and she said she could do that, but when I asked for the updated contract, she sent us an older estimate with a much lower price than the final price we agreed on and have been making payments towards. My fiancée also called to ask for the updated contract, but once again we received the old estimate. Now the coordinator isn't answering her phone or replying to our emails.

I'm holding back tears because I'm afraid I ruined our wedding by not getting this resolved sooner. This venue is special to us because it's where we had our first date. I have no idea what I should do now.

Has anyone had their wedding at this vineyard? We are absolutely in love with in and would appreciate any insight on what your planning/day of looked like. TYIA!!

Hello my fiancé and I are getting married in a year and have started planning. We are having all family members invited including children. Our son will be close to 2 and a half when our wedding happens and I’m so excited to have him be there and celebrate with us. My brothers and sisters in law all have children as well so there will be close to 10 kids total that may come. Does anyone have experience hiring a caregiver or babysitter for an event to help keep the kids supervised? If so how was the experience? I am planning to hire maybe one or two caregivers for the day. But I want to know if other people have done something similar and if it was worth it or not.

How do I get over health anxiety??? I am soooo worried about getting sick right before

the wedding. We get married in 20 days. With flu season and this dang dengue fever now (we’re in central florida) I’m in a panic lol I’m drinking water, (attempting) to get good sleep, drinking emergen-c daily, and taking elderberry every day. I am a nurse so at work I’m wearing a mask and making sure to wash my hands and sanitize. The flu shot is not available yet for us.

We have family & friends coming into town soon and I’m so scared about getting sick it makes me not even want to see anyone before the wedding but I know I can’t do that. What has everyone else done to ease this anxiety and support your immune system?

Our wedding date is August 29, 2027! We’re eloping out of state and taking our honeymoon directly after. I’ll be doing my own hair and makeup. I’m planning on getting a lash lift and tint, my brows done, my nails and toes done, my hair colored (possibly trimmed, but I’m currently growing it out), and a facial.
I’m not too worried about my hair or nails since I’ve had those done professionally before. I’m planning to get them done about 3–4 days before the wedding.
However, I’ve never had a lash lift and tint done before. I’ve worn false lashes a handful of times, but they weren’t really my thing, so I started doing some research and discovered lash lifts and tints.
It’s the same with my brows. I love the look of tinted and laminated brows, but I’ve never had them done before, and I’m not too familiar with the terminology or how long the results typically last.
I’ve also never had a facial before, but I’ve read that it can help with makeup application, and I think it would be a nice way to treat myself!
I’m considering all of these treatments because I want to feel really pretty on my wedding day while making the process of doing my own hair and makeup as easy as possible. I’m not a big makeup person, so I’d love to find ways to look a little more put together without having to do too much myself. I’m not as worried about my hair as I am about my makeup.
Since we are leaving for our honeymoon right after, I’d really love for my lashes and brows to look nice throughout the honeymoon, too!
For those of you who have had these treatments done before your wedding, how far in advance did you schedule them? Was there anything you wish you’d done sooner or waited until closer to the wedding to do? I’d love to hear about your experiences and any advice you have on timing everything!
Thank you!

Hi everyone, I’m hoping to get some advice from people who have dealt with wedding venues before because I honestly don’t know what to do at this point.

Our wedding reception is on October 25, and we are now just one week away from the big day. Instead of being excited and enjoying the final preparations, I’ve been extremely stressed and worried about our venue.

We have been trying to communicate with the venue to clarify several details about our package, pricing, and services. However, they have been taking days to respond, and some of our emails, texts, and phone calls have gone unanswered.

What worries me the most is that some of the items and prices currently being presented to us do not seem to match what we originally discussed or agreed upon. For example, the price of the children's meals appears to have increased from $14.95 to $29.95 per child. There are also still questions about certain services, including the fog machine, the photo booth, and other package details that we need clarified before the wedding.

We have approximately 140 adult guests, 10 children, and 10 vendors to accommodate, so these changes and uncertainties are not minor details. They affect our budget, planning, and ability to make sure everything runs smoothly for our guests.

We have tried to reach out multiple times because we genuinely want to resolve everything professionally and have a good relationship with the venue. But with the wedding only days away, we are becoming increasingly concerned about whether everything will actually be handled as promised.

I understand that wedding planning can involve changes and unexpected issues, but I feel that communication and transparency are especially important when a couple has already committed a significant amount of money to their wedding.

For anyone who has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate your advice:

• What would you do if your venue was unresponsive one week before your wedding?
• How would you handle prices or package items that appear to differ from the original agreement?
• Would you escalate the issue to the general manager or take any other steps to protect yourselves?
• What should we do now to make sure our wedding day is not affected?

I’m not trying to create drama or ruin our relationship with the venue. We just want clear answers, the services we agreed upon, and peace of mind on our wedding day.

Thank you so much for any advice or experiences you can share. We really need some guidance right now. ❤️

Honest review of Partial Planner Naptown Nuptials

I wanted to share our experience with our partial wedding planner/coordinator and also get some honest feedback from other brides and planners. Out of respect for the person we worked with, I’m choosing not to share her name publicly, but we worked directly with the same person throughout the entire planning process and on our wedding day. Our day was beautiful and we are so thankful for all of the work that was put into it but are ultimately dissapointed in how some things were handled!

I’m also posting this because I would really love some input from other brides or planners. I’m open to knowing if i’m actually wrong in how we’re feeling post wedding. Sorry this is going to be quite a long post!!

-We’re my expectations in a planner/coordinator too high?

-Did I not prepare enough on my own end of things?

-Did I put too much trust into the coordinators to know what to expect of the day?

For much of the planning process, things seemed great! We felt like we were on track and were in good hands. There were some smaller mistakes along the way, including misspelled names and scheduling errors, but we didn’t think too much of them at the time.

We started to question things when the planner missed our venue walkthrough in August. She told us she would go back to visit the venue at another time, but to our knowledge that didn’t happen until the day before our wedding.

Things started to feel stressful the day before the wedding when our tent was delivered and no coordinator was there to oversee the setup. The tent ended up being placed on uneven ground, and far away from a walkway. Which later led to guests walking in mud. To be fair, we still aren’t entirely sure whether this was the planner’s responsibility or the venue’s, but we naively trusted that the coordination between them would be handled. In hindsight, we could have asked more questions ourselves, but thought that this was exactly the kind of situation we had hired a professional for.

The wedding day itself was unfortunately difficult because we ended up getting married on a rainy day and the weather decided to chang very last minute. For context the venue was pretty much completely outside and our plan was to have the ceremony and cocktail hour outside with the reception under a tent. The morning of the wedding, I asked my maid of honor to reach out to our coordinator because I was stressed and really wanted us to try to make the outdoor portions happen if conditions allowed. The response she received was short and unkind, which was upsetting when we were already dealing with so much already.

While I was getting ready, we barely saw our planner. I’m unsure if this is normal but we eventually reached out to our caterer and the venue staff to ask what the plan was because we weren’t getting any communication about the plan for the day. When we tried to talk to our day of coordinator, she was unkind to my bridesmaids when they were simply trying to advocate for me and help communicate my concerns. I understand that the weather created some stress and I absolutely recognize that sometimes has to come first but it made it more difficult to enjoy my morning.

The decision was made to move our ceremony indoors without properly discussing it with me first. I was told that we were switching to the rain plan right before I walked down the aisle. I understand that a decision may need to be made quickly in bad weather, but I would have appreciated a conversation about the options and an explanation rather than being told at the last minute that it wasn’t happening.

We also paid for two additional day of assistants, but we never met them and honestly aren’t sure whether they were there or what their roles were. The day felt frantic, and our planner was not the calm and supportive presence I had hoped for. I had hoped for someone who would help manage the unexpected and allow me to be present and enjoy my wedding rather than feeling unsure about what was going on.

There were also some smaller details that unfortunately had an impact. In our day of schedule I missed that my dad’s last name was incorrect, and as a result, our DJ announced the wrong name in front of all of our guests. I know mistakes happen, but these details matter on such an important day.

There were also services included in our contract that we didn’t realize we hadn’t received until after the wedding. I’m intentionally not getting into every detail because that isn’t my biggest concern, and I don’t want this post to become a list of every mistake or disappointment. However, looking back and realizing that some contracted services were missed added to our overall disappointment with the experience.

I do want to emphasize that I’m sure our wedding was not an easy one to coordinate. The weather was unpredictable, and we are grateful that we were still able to have a beautiful and fun wedding. We do also appreciate the work that was done during the planning process and day of. However, we hired a planner because we wanted professional guidance and support, especially when things didn’t go according to plan. We trusted that she would help us prepare for unexpected changes and calmly guide us through difficult decisions. We don’t feel that we received the level of support we were paying for when it mattered most.

I truly wish we had felt more supported on our wedding day, and I hope this helps another couple know what questions to ask before choosing their planner!! I don’t want other brides to feel the way we did after our wedding. 🤍

Hey all,

I’m one week before getting married in my dream venue abroad with the love of my life and close friends and family. This all sounds like a dream but between the last couple of things to pay while I feel we’ve spent so much already, the last minute cancellations, the fall outs of some loved ones and the non stop planning I am so so tired.

I have one week to go and I am at absolutely zero energy. I literally feel like my body doesn’t want to continue and I have tried to stay positive and stay in a gratitude mindset but I just don’t have it in me anymore. And on top of that I’m awaiting my period as they are not regular and might have my period on the day of my wedding

I wish I could take a week off to relax but there’s still some things to finish some things to pay off and I’m just burned out.I didn’t think I was going to feel like this the week before my wedding

Okay first timer on here, and this is going to be a long story so bare with me. I run a bar with this girl, we’ve been best friends for over 10 years. We took the place over about 3 years ago, all has been going great. They always say never hire friends but I thought we were the exception to that rule.

Getting into the story- for context She is getting married October 2027, I did not back out last minute. I just feel as though I am no longer the person who should overextend themselves, spend thousands of dollars and countless amount of time planning something for someone who lied to my face.

September, 2026, she tells me her parents have booked a trip for her and her fiancé to go to Paris with them for 9 days. Ofcourse I am over the moon for her and schedule work stuff around it. I am the manger for context, she is my right hand. So I make the schedule for the staff, which is only myself, her, and 2 other part time kids who are pretty new and barely know what they’re doing, so they can’t be on shift for long without one of us there to help run things. I schedule myself to work the entire 9 days she’s gone, despite being a mother to a toddler and usually having off a few days every week.
This is where things get an extra layer of complication.

My best friend of 20 years (let’s call her friend B), flew up from Florida to visit me and see my new house I purchased earlier this year. She is also celebrating her 30th birthday the week she is coming. Friend B arrives from out of state on the 23rd of September. Friend A that works at the bar, is fully aware my other friend is coming for this special occasion, and we are supposed to have 4 days before friend A leaves for Paris to celebrate her birthday and hang out together. September 24th, the day after friend B arrives, friend A texts me to say she is so deathly ill, she cannot leave the bathroom. So I immediately schedule coverage for the day as I have plans with friend B. Plans friend A, KNEW couldn’t be rescheduled or refunded. I attend the plans only thankfully because one of the part time kids worked by himself. He was very overwhelmed, ended up having to close earlier than business hours, but he handled it and I was able to go to the event I purchased 7 tickets to (as friend B’s 30th birthday gift). I leave the event, check friend A’s location as we often do, and I see she is already flying over the gulf of Maine, well on her way to Paris. It hits me that this has been the plan all along and I was just the last person to find out. I text friend A and say wow I’m glad you’re feeling better just in time! Your trip was moved 3 days earlier? She claims the trip HAD to be moved because of the nor’easter we were expecting to get hit with over the weekend. Mind you this was Thursday. I said that is absolutely not true, they don’t delay flights 3-4 days before a storm in preparation for a storm.. that very well could miss us entirely (it did). I was supposed to be her maid of honor at her wedding. I texted her the next day and said you should reconsider your maid of honor choice because I will not be the one to fill that role. She never responds the entire 12 days that she was gone. She responded the day she was due to return to work, saying if we are no longer friends she no longer wants to work here. Leaving me totally hanging for the busy impending holiday season. Who’s the AH?!

Edit to add this is not the first time she has faked an illness to go on vacation earlier than planned. She told me last December she was bit by a tick and acquired lymes disease. Never brought the doctors note requested.

We did our own wedding flowers, and I was SO happy with how everything turned out!

What we made:

12 centerpieces
4 handheld bouquets (bridal party)
6 boutonnières
~18 bud vases
Fireplace mantel decor (18 ft long)

⸻

What I bought

Costco mountain bouquets: 2 orders of 10 bouquets at $110 each = $220
100 lavender roses from Costco: $85
Sam’s Club eucalyptus: 2 bulk orders (40 stems each) at $45 per order = $90. One box would have been plenty! Turns out, 40 stems is a LOT of eucalyptus.
25 ft eucalyptus garland for the mantel from Sam’s Club: $190. I’m a little annoyed we didn’t get a better picture of the mantel!
30 spider mums (Fuji mums) from a local florist: $55. These added SO much to the overall look! I picked them up on Wednesday before the wedding, and they opened up so much by Saturday. It was fun walking into the room and seeing the flowers looking even better than when we arranged them.
Boutonnière kit from Amazon: $10
12 plastic 5x5-inch vases from All Floral Supplies: $69
Floralife finishing spray from Amazon: $18

Free/borrowed/thrifted items:

Bud vases were thrifted or gifted by others
Zip ties were gifted
Scissors and glue gun were borrowed
I borrowed 4 regular tall vases to display our bouquets around the venue after the ceremony
Extra flower food
One lady I invited is a local farmer, so she brought some extra flowers that she grew as a gift. This was a nice unexpected addition. I used them in the boquets and the bud vases.

Total spent on florals: $737

We didn’t get many pictures of the bud vases, either, unfortunately

⸻

How we did it

1. I practiced throughout the year.

Whenever I bought a grocery store bouquet, I practiced arranging it. I learned that the size and shape of the vase really determine the size and shape of the centerpiece, so I experimented with different sizes. I found the plastic 5x5-inch vases in bulk at a good price, and that’s what I used for our 8-person tables.

I used Flower Moxie tutorials to practice.

2. I ordered everything to arrive on Tuesday for our Saturday wedding.

We arranged the flowers on Thursday, and I wanted a buffer day in case anything went wrong. Costco arrived on time, but Sam’s Club was a day late.

Some of the lavender roses were a little wilted by Saturday, but everything else looked fresh and vibrant, so it was totally fine. I do think the arrangements would have looked a little underwhelming without the spider mums from the local florist. Those statement flowers made a HUGE difference.

3. We had a flower-arranging party!

This was honestly one of my favorite parts of the process. We provided lunch and mimosas, and 10 ladies helped me arrange everything at my neighborhood clubhouse. The whole thing took about 4.5 hours. It was such a nice way to spend quality time with some of my wedding guests. A few of them were my mom’s close friends who weren’t invited to the wedding but wanted to be a part of it.

I stood at the front and demonstrated how to make the centerpieces, and everyone made theirs along with me. They weren’t all exactly the same, and I was totally fine with that!

I delegated some people to the boutonnières, some to the bud vases, and three people to work on the bouquets with me.

4 Transportation .

We used cardboard boxes and various packing materials saved from Amazon deliveries to keep everything from tipping over during transit. We drove slowly and carefully for the 20-minute trip to the venue.

Luckily, my bridesmaids’ parents have a huge campervan (the Dodge equivalent of a Sprinter van), so we were able to transport everything in one trip.

⸻

Final thoughts

Overall, I was THRILLED with how the flowers turned out! I definitely recommend recruiting plenty of help if you’re planning to DIY your wedding florals.

The flower-arranging party was so much fun, and I loved the flowers even more because we made them ourselves. Seeing everything come together on my wedding day brought me so much joy.

The biggest surprise? I discovered that I genuinely LOVE arranging flowers! Now I have a new hobby and an excuse to keep fresh flowers around the house regularly.

If you’re on the fence about DIY wedding florals, I hope this helps! It’s definitely doable with some practice, planning, and a great group of helpers. While it wasn’t “cheap” we saved probably thousands for everything we ended up with.

The ceremony is in a building where the local farmer’s market is held, it almost looks like a greenhouse with an arched ceiling and all windows. The reception is at a performing arts centre, the room is all black with a wall of floor to ceiling windows. We are doing a buffet with drop catering from a few Mediterranean restaurants but hiring service staff to manage the buffet and bus tables etc. After dinner there will be dancing and karaoke lol. Open beer and wine bar. No cocktail hour or apps, just going straight into dinner after the father/daughter dance and first dance. Not sure if this matters but ceremony and reception are a 5 min walk apart. Thanks everyone :-)

I can’t decide- upgrade to tan bentwood chairs for my outdoor wedding or keep the white folding chairs?

First picture is from a prior wedding at my venue and second is AI created to show a visual!

Please help!

My husband and I got married about a month ago, and it truly was a wonderful day. I felt so blissfully happy and couldn’t stop smiling the entire day. Our guests told us they had a great time. They loved how personal our wedding was, and they loved the ceremony, the food and the party. And yet I keep circling back to a few things that didn’t go as planned:

• My mother came to the bridal suite much earlier than we had agreed and started distracting the HMUA. As a result, I was ready later than planned and we had to rush to get me into my dress. My mother was very stressed, and that rubbed off on me.
• Because getting ready ran late, there was no time for the bridal portraits I had scheduled, so I don’t have a single photo of just me in my dress. That makes me sad, because I spent a lot of time on my bridal look and I wish I had one photo with my dress perfectly laid out.
• I had explicitly asked my mother and her partner not to be present at the first look. We really wanted that moment to be just for the two of us. When I arrived at the first look location, her partner was sitting there and immediately started taking photos of me with his phone. So he was the first man to see me, even before my fiancé did. The photographer later had to ask him to move out of the shot, because he was visible in the background during our first look.
• We had also asked our guests not to take photos during the ceremony. My mother’s partner did so anyway, several times, and because he was in the front row, it was quite noticeable. Several guests commented on it, and I found it distracting too.
• We hired an expensive photographer and really clicked with her, but on the day itself I missed being given direction. For example, I assumed she would check whether my train was lying nicely before taking a photo (I couldn’t do this myself because my train was long). In the first preview photos, the train is often crumpled in the frame, and there isn’t a single photo where my train is properly spread out with my veil over it. Perhaps I should have asked for it explicitly, but I genuinely thought it was a standard wedding shot. I also hadn’t asked anyone to keep an eye on my train, so it was crumpled as I walked down the aisle and throughout the ceremony.
• During the ceremony we had our own officiant, but there was also a registrar from the municipality present to make sure everything was legally in order. She had no other role other than being present. When my fiancé went to walk in, she was standing in his way and didn’t move. In the end he simply walked around her. Our guests noticed and commented on it afterwards.
• We both walked in to music, and I wanted to wait for the right part of the song, but the registrar came up to me and told me to hurry up. I explained that I was waiting for the right moment in the music, but she wanted me to walk in straight away. So she went inside and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, here comes the bride!” to make sure I would come in after all. I found this very disruptive. She broke my concentration, and as a result I felt rushed and have no memory at all of walking down the aisle.
• We didn’t want many posed portraits, but a few mattered to us. My parents completely took over that part. They called over the people they wanted in the pictures, and my father handed the photographer his phone because he wanted photos on it too. Afterwards, he immediately shared them with family, before we had even received a single photo ourselves. This, too, made us feel that our boundaries weren’t respected.

Looking back on the day as a whole, I know these are small things. It was a beautiful day, everyone who mattered to us was there, and we got married, so nothing major went wrong. And yet these things keep bothering me, and I keep wondering whether I should have prepared better and been even more explicit about how we wanted things to go. At the same time, I know there is nothing to be done about it afterwards.

Can others relate to this, and if so, how do you stop yourself from circling back to the things that didn’t go as planned? I feel stupid for focusing on these things, because what matters most is that I married the person I love. Yet I can’t seem to shake these feelings.