please keep in mind I am not saying this applies to everyone who has been falsely accused.

But I seriously think that many instances of men who 'get falsely accused', sexually assaulted a woman in a non-violent way. Most men I talked to only really defined sexual assault as exerting incredible physical violence to perform it, whereas not mentioning stuff like coercion, repeatedly asking, guilt tripping, manipulation and taking advantage of someones inability to consent is not brought up

Are you a feminist? Why or why not?
2-3 sentences. No judgment

There’s this guy I’ve been seeing on and off for two years now and I think I’m just now connecting the dots that he’s DL. He’s a black man and was part of omega psi phi (and is 27 years old and still extremely active in that community, going to colleges to watch/participate in “talent shows” for the chapters at other schools). He’s overall just a very male centered dude, loves his boys. He’s also in the navy lol and deploys relatively often. Has been unfaithful to me and one time I went through some of his texts (in front of him mind you) and found a thread between him and what looked like a trans woman. The first text exchanges were even him saying “my real name is ____” which I didn’t connect was likely bc he uses fake names on whatever apps he’s on. But the person was sending him a ton of half naked pics and the texts sounded like they met up. I was just gagged bc it wasn’t like someone a seemingly straight man would go after. I didn’t connect the dots until now when the other day we were at the mall and he knew a cashier at a store who was also very clearly a trans woman, and something clicked to me that it didn’t just seem like a coincidence. He’s also a pretty sassy guy and doesn’t seem to be able to hold long term friendships or relationships with women in general. I think he has kept me around bc I’ve straight up seen proof of him being gay in front of him and I still stayed around, feels like I’ve been a beard or something. And since he thinks I prob overlook a lot he keeps me around so he can fuck w dudes on the side. But that’s just my theory lol

I really need some outside perspective from others because I feel like I am hitting a breaking point every single month. I’m 24 and have had a copper IUD for about a year now and my periods have become a nightmare. I bleed so heavily that I soak through a tampon in under an hour and bleed through period underwear in half a day. Right before my cycle starts I feel like there are literally zero nutrients left in my body, to the point of exhaustion where I sleep until noon and still need naps. Right now I’m just spotting but the physical symptoms are already overwhelming . I get breast soreness and the bloating, and i can’t stop eating and weakness. The past few days I’ve been nonstop eating and sleeping, i missed out seeing my friends because I have no energy. Today I used an 8mg nicotine pouch like I normally do and instantly felt faint, dizzy, and started dry heaving, which has never happened to me before. The emotional toll is destroying my sanity. For three weeks of the month my relationship feels fine. But the second my luteal phase hits and in the 48 hours right before bleeding, my emotional threshold vanishes. I develop a lot of rage, I think raise my voice without realizing it. Last night I started an argument with my boyfriend because he let me have half of his yogurt that he needed to take his meds with because he’s been really sick and is taking meds for a skin infection. He just told me to eat half and i didn’t realize i ate most of it. He told me that was mean of me and asked if i did it in purpose and i apologized, i genuially didn’t mean too and i felt awful. but then i felt intense sadness and then packed my bag and told him i want to to home because they way he said that sounded rude? Which started a huge argument where I was sobbing and couldnt come to reason. We were doing great but we always argue during or right before my period. Sometimes I get overwhelming urges to end my relationship that completely disappear once my period is underway. My boyfriend doesn't understand this and thinksI have anger issues or poor emotional regulation which only makes me spiral more. I tend to get in my head about things and I told my bf I think I have PMDD and he thinks it’s in my head and then he said I def don’t have it. has anyone with a copper IUD experienced this level of depletion and rage? Does this dynamic sound like PMDD or PMS. I have friends that have PMDD but they seem to have it way worse than me. I’m also anemic so that dosent help. I’m even on zoloft to help with my anxiety but i’m still a nightmare on my period and i feel awful and exhausting it’s like i become someone I’m not when I get it.

want to ask something.

did u girls notice that sometimes (really often) guys who court u or plan to date u see u as a countless set of stereotypes? llike, they cant even guess what u would like or not - they treat u like a typical pink princess and forget about ur personality.

likkkke... all the guys who wanted something with me (i didnt) tried to give me flowers and take me to fancy restaurants, even though I said a thousand times THAT I DON'T LIKE CAFES, RESTAURANTS, BARS, and all those places for food.

i have (as other girls do too) my own preferences and wishes. bbboy, why cant u recognize that im not just a girly-girl from ur stupid movies?i have my personality too.i have my hobbies.

it looks like they were just trying to find the easiest way to charm u.annoying,btw.

share with ur experience.

Hello! I have never posted on Reddit before, so im sorry if this isn't the right place or way to do this. I'm not sure where else to go to ask for advice, because I don't want to tell my friends or parents about it. Anyways, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years now, and throughout our entire relationship I've made it clear that I consider watching porn to be cheating. He has always respected that and agreed with it, so I never felt the need to question or not trust him about it. He's in his second year of college, but he's not very far from me. We still see each other rather often. Two nights ago, he slept over at my house. I randomly woke up at around 4:30 in the morning and decided to check his phone. I opened twitter, which he uses for baseball since he plays for his schools team, and looked at his view history. Sure enough, there was porn. He told me that hed been watching it for about a year, mostly when he's away at college because it's "hard not seeing me". We're still together. I'm not sure what to do. I love him so much and I still want a future with him, I'm just not sure how to get past this, or if I even can get past it. I'm so mad, and hurt. So I guess I'm just looking for some advice?

I feel like I’m going insane. I turned 18 almost two months ago and as I get older I realise that everything around me is so blatantly misogynistic.

where I come from, what I believe in, what I see online from my own communities makes me depressed, it’s bleak.

how do you guys cope with it. you could say stay off your phone but it’s everywhere I see. I don’t like interacting with people in real life from my community anymore, especially men, I’m sorry if you’re a man and that offends you but I am genuinely so wary, especially if you’re from my background, they can be really conservative sometimes.

rant over

Protein shakes, supplements, apps, trainers, programs, anything.

What worked, what was a waste of money, and what do you wish existed?

A few months ago, I found myself struggling to focus on my work. I work from home a lot and my office is a little over an hour away since I moved. Not to mention I have my kid in the summer and didn’t exactly want to pay $400 a month for my kid to go to daycare.

It all started in March. I got sick, my husband and I needed new cars and for his, while sick, I drove 4 hours back home and struggled. After that, I was in the ER for a bad reaction to strong cough medicine. Turns out my daily medication and cough medicine cannot mix and I was like a step or two behind having seizures.

Less than a month later, my kid’s cat got sick, quickly. We had to say goodbye. That hurt. He was only 11. I struggled to not be sad. My kid’s sports team, that I coached, some parents were shitty to me towards the end of the season for something I didn’t do, I was just the closest coach they could yell at.

May was Mother’s Day. We ended up finding a feral kitten from someone in our town and brought him home for the kid that morning. For the evening, we went to my parents. The trip ended with me hysterically crying because my dad said he never wanted to see me again, dont show up on Father’s Day, don’t go to his funeral.

June, I was struggling with that pain. My chest hurt from what my dad said. For Father’s Day, I still sent him pretzels from his favorite place. My mom called me saying I should go and I said no, I couldn’t. I was trying my best to not open that wound. My dad did eventually reach out to talk but I couldn’t handle it with how my brain was doing due to everything before that.

July. My company laid people off, unexpectedly. We’re a small company so a lot of us that stayed lost friends and coworkers we worked with daily. I felt at a loss. I couldn’t focus even more and struggled to get back on track.

At the start of August, my mom went to the hospital but didn’t tell me, just posted on Facebook. I did pick her up, drop her off, and go get her meds. I didn’t say much to my dad but I left saying, “I love you.” And he returned that. We still hadn’t addressed what he said.

By mid August, I was wondering if my brain alone was worth looking into taking a leave. I took a few more days to talk to my husband and therapist, as well as my doctor. Everyone agreed, take the time.

Before I could even talk to my boss in September, my dad got sick and was in the hospital because he couldn’t walk and had a bad infection. Good lord these last few weeks have been a terrible hell for my husband and me. I was at the hospital every other day driving two hours each way to grab my mom, bring her, then bring her home and go back to my place.

My dad was in the hospital for about 10 days before the hospital allowed him home, on hospice. While there, I did forgive my dad for what he said and he apologized. I told him I was going to do my best to get him home so he could die peacefully.

The hospital was ready to transport my dad home on a day I hadn’t planned to go to the hospital. I ended up going to make sure I could get his pain meds. We found out that the transportation needed $400 to be paid or if we paid after, it would be $1000+. I ended up taking my dad home myself. That was nerve wrecking. The nurses helped me get him into my car and when we got home, my husband and I put him on the walker we got him and literally carried him inside.

Two weeks later, the first week of October, my dad was gone. I was with him and my mom at the time he passed. From there, I had already been planning his funeral details so all my mom had to do was sign the check and go. I think I was able to get 90% of that done.

All while this is happening, my kid is a busy teenager doing several things and I have been trying so hard to not interrupt their life or activities. It’s hard because I don’t really want to go out or sit with people and make small talk. I’m too fucking sad for it.

I finally got my time off approved and I’ll be taking about 6 weeks off for my mental health.

Problem is, I feel like a fucking failure. I feel like I can’t shake my brain free of everything up there and like I can’t get over it to do my fucking job. I’m so tired all the time. I toss and turn and have needed something to sleep since the week my dad went to the ER. My brain will not shut off.

I’m nervous about taking this time but I hope I can return and get back to my fucking job.

TLDR: I’m taking 6 weeks off due to my mental health and many things in my life compounding how I feel. I feel like a failure for needed to take time off of work.

I never worked before I have attended interviews its just my first time was really bad so it kinda traumatized me for a while. But im asking how did you guys get over the nervousness of your first job ever and gaining experience wondering if you can really do this or get it right?

hi all 🤗💗

i’ll be turning 21 in about a month, and i really want this birthday to feel special and meaningful to me.

my birthday has always fallen during exam season, so i’ve never really gotten to have a proper birthday. tho since i turned 18, and my birthdays have been sweet in their own ways but tbh they’ve never quite felt like what i envisioned.

like i love being celebrated and the effort people put into making my birthday special. but it feels so not like me. the cakes aren’t quite what i would’ve chosen. the gifts are thoughtful but not necessarily things i would’ve picked for myself. (also i think i’m someone who just doesn't like recieving gifts in general, like idk maybe it's my upbringing but i feel indebted and take it like a transaction and think of something better to give in return)

anyway i end up feeling a little sad that the day didn’t turn out the way i’d imagined. 🙁

i’ve never really sat down and thought about what i actually want. let alone planned a birthday for myself.

so with my 21st coming up i want to do things differently and make sure it feels like my day !!

for those of you who’ve planned your own birthdays or made a birthday special for yourselves..how did you go about it? how do you plan the day without putting too much pressure on yourself to make everything „perfect”? or making things awkward for others ??

TL;DR: turning 21 soon and want to plan a birthday that feels like me. need advice for someone who's trying to organise her birthday for the the fine

I think I'm obsessing over someone in my class that I started talking to 5 days ago, and I can't stop thinking about him. I wait for his message every minute and can't live my day normally without thinking about him, even in my sleep. How do I deal with this? Cause I'm ashamed.

I don't understand why I'm behaving like this. It doesn't feel like me. I'm so so ashamed that I'm obsessed with someone I barely know.

He was answering fast, then suddenly started answering a little late, and I feel like something changed, like he's less excited. He was a little bit flirty but then I think he changed? I don't know if I'm imagining things but I know for sure that something changed suddenly.

I think I'm obsessing because I met him during a period of time when I'm having very, very big problems with my family, and for some reason, I want to fall in love and have my own life and relationships away from my parents. I thought about it, and I feel this is what's making me obsess, but even knowing the reason, I just can't stop. I'm so, so distracted thinking about him that I can't do things properly, and I feel like my body is literally stressed. I don't like how distracted and stressed I feel because I really feel pain in my stomach and chest because of the stress, especially while sleeping.

I don't know how to stop this obsession. Yesterday I didn't answer him trying to resist the obsession, but found myself today sending him a message and I still feels something different.

Women of Reddit help me because I feel bad about this. I'm not even a child to act this obsessive, I'm 21yo. I should be more sensible.

The guy I spent 10 years with said “I don’t offer him nothing in the relationship” if bc I didn’t pay all the bills like he did bc he made more than me or because I didn’t cook or clean every day like he wanted bc I work have no kids am not married and his schedule was on call.. but I don’t think he’s wrong, either way makes me not interested bc I will be the same with nothing to offer. LMFAO 🤣

Although his opinion isn’t entirely true because i did help with bills and I saved money for us and I’d help buy stuff he wanted and I would cook and clean when I felt like so.. & then ofc what i do offer is love and consideration and admiration and sex and support and I work and I’m loyal, and I waited for him why he was locked up for two years and blah blah blah so obviously imo that counts for something.
But not good enough in his.. But their is plenty of women who do less and are happily married or do less as in don’t work or don’t pay bills or don’t cook or clean like me but are still happily married. Or even maybe cook and clean but aren’t loyal.. So idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

But ofc then there are the perfect housewife women who can cook and clean every day after working so maybe I am just not good enough lol 😂

Just something I think about.. 💭

I feel like I’m on ozpemic or something. The thought of eating sounds so unrewarding- I had an uncrustable sandwich I think it’s called and it made me kind of gag. I feel like I’m a zombie that’s trying to eat a burger. Just won’t happen . I’ve had gum, I’ll try and order some fruit. Any real food sounds repulsive

I don’t know how people enjoy their birthdays. Leading up to it I just get so depressed and feel like I’m getting so old. Then on the day it feels like there is pressure for it to mean something but it’s just a regular day. Then people who you don’t talk to you 99% of the year reach out and pretend to be your friend. I’m turning 21 and I just want to sleep through the whole day and pretend it’s not happening. What do people do to make their own birthdays special for themselves or at least enjoyable?

Wasn’t this brand deeply entangled with the Epstein files? Also why do we have to see starvation runway shows AGAIN?! Like it’s depressing and triggering for young girls and older women for the most part. Celebrities are losing their sparkle in my opinion. Like you have money, now go away and stop rubbing all the surgeries you had in our faces 😞

I hate being a girl. It sucks.

I hate my uterus, i hate periods, they are just painful, not like i want kids anyways, even if i want to take off my uterus or ovaries, it is not available everywhere, and the side effects look scary, and the fact that i need a surgery to have a body that does not cause me pain is enough to piss me off.

I hate the fact that i have to do all the work of pregnancy and child birth, i dont want kids, but what if a woman does? She has to tolerate the suffering for 9 months, then hours for childbirth, then taking care of the baby, which is mostly on her not the father.

I hate the fact i will be in risk of getting pregnant even with contraceptives.

I hate that i can't wear whatever i want cuz some trash men will stare in a disgusting way, if they didn't do more.

I hate that i can't go outside alone at night.

It may seem stupid for men, but for me as a girl, i can't enjoy a small night walk alone.

I hate having boobs or butt, they are not only useless, but also annoying, an extra weight that prevents me from moving freely.

I hate the expectations put on women. They expect me to have children even tho they all know how hell it is. They expect me to shave my legs and look soft like a doll while men can be natural. They expect me to love dresses and makeup and i hella don't. Once in a wedding, my aunt said i look like a boy cuz i was wearing a tshirt and pants and a cap.

I hate that men will always be stronger than me no matter what i do, and i hate more that people say "they are stronger to protect women and do hard labor", if women were strong they won't need men to protect them,+ men are what we need to protected from -usually-. hard labor, women also do hard labor since they were created.

I hate this damn useless body it only brings me pain and discomfort.

I hate how people try to justify this unfairness.

"Men have responsibility, women have pain"

Wtf? How can you even compare?

Women also have responsibilities, and responsibility is better (not necessarily easier) than pain

Pain has no "cause" (more like excuse) while responsibility does

Pain has no goal (maybe torturing us?) but responsibility does

Pain has no good effect on us, responsibility does.

I hate how our pain should be normal. Pain should be a sign that something is wrong in our body. But here, pain just for pain

I know my ideas are messed up

Im just mad and broken and wanted to talk about this

Hi

I’m 27F and have had to “be my own boyfriend” for my whole life. My parents only had girls. My dad was always at work barely around to do any of the “manly” chores, so I was the one to do them. (I grew up and dealt with burying animals and dealing with lots of bugs). I now find myself being too ‘manly’(?) if that makes sense? I don’t find the desire to dress up every time I go out. I used to loveeee doing makeup as a teen/early 20s but I have lost the desire for that too. I am hyper-independent and almost refuse help from people. I just don’t know how to be more girly. I’m having a hard time with relationships because of this too, I think.

I'm in my early 20s now. I've kept this to myself for years because I could never bring myself to talk about it. I think it's mostly because I'm scared of being judged and honestly there's a lot of shame around it for me.

When I was around 3-4 years old, something happened that I still don't know if I should consider sexual assault or not.

I was in kindergarten at the time. The school had older students too (till 7th grade ig), and during breaks they would sometimes come to our classes and spend time with us. The school didn't have washrooms for little kids that we could use without help, so either the older students or the school nannies would accompany us.

There was this girl who was much older than me who used to take me to the washroom. She would carry me there and during that she would touch me inappropriately (touch and rub me down there). I don't know if it was intentional or if she knew what she was doing.

I obviously didn't understand what she was doing. I didn't know what sex was or anything like that. But I remember feeling really uncomfortable. I remember feeling anxious and wanting it to stop, even though I couldn't really understand what was wrong about it.

And weirdly, I remember being hesitant to tell anyone about it even back then. I don't know why. Maybe I was scared, maybe I felt embarrassed, or maybe I just didn't know how to explain what had happened. I was so young that I didn't even have the words for it. I just remember keeping it to myself.

The part that has always messed with me the most is that the sensation felt good.

I hate admitting that because it makes me feel disgusting, but that's how I remember it. I remember being anxious when it was break time cause I knew she would come to get me. She used to hold me tight and I remember I used to wiggle on her. I was uncomfortable and confused, but at the same time my body reacted to it in a way that felt good. I obviously had no idea what that meant at that age.

After that, I started touching myself, at 3 or 4 years old!and it's something I've continued doing throughout the years.

I've carried so much shame around this. Sometimes I feel like something sexual was introduced to me way too early and that it somehow "corrupted" me. I hate that it wasn't something I discovered myself. I hate thinking that something happened to me when I was so young that I couldn't even understand it, and somehow it stayed with me all these years.

I don't even know who I'm supposed to blame. It wasn't something I chose or started. I was a little kid. But I've continued doing it for years, and sometimes I still feel guilty and disgusted with myself because of that.

I have a boyfriend now and my libido is much higher than his, to a point where I'm disgusted with myself. Sometimes I genuinely wish it wasn't. And I don't know if that's connected to what happened when I was little or if I'm just overthinking everything.

If what happened to me was sexual assault, I hate the thought that something someone else did when I was a child could have affected me this much. I don't really know why I'm posting this and I don't think I've poured out everything I wanted to.. I guess I've just needed somewhere to say it for once.

Edit: I can't discuss this with anyone I know here in my country because I come from a place where matters related to sex are considered highly private and somewhat taboo to talk about openly

To make the long story short.

1. I moved from Winnipeg to BC because I got admission to a paralegal program to make my life easier.

2. I have a partner who (I know relationships don’t have good PR right now) but I want you to legit believe me when I say this man has been a source of strength and fresh air since my transition. He is also here with me in Vancouver.

3. We are both. Poor.

(This is the part that I need advice)

So my boyfriend wants us to get married. Which I am not opposed to. He currently works constitution. I have my PR. And when we get married I can sponsor him through spousal sponsorship so that he can then be able to go to school and become an accountant. And we can have a better life.

1. I got into a car accident, a week before moving to BC and insurance is not going to cover the damages. And it was a car I was still paying for. So now I am in debt.

2. I have been having really bad thoughts guys. Please be open minded when reading this, I have applied to everything! Right now I am working part time and it’s legit not enough. I am fair attractive and I have seen people talk about how BC has a lot of sugar daddies. And there was a time a girl friend I made here took me out for drinks and I was able to get some attention from what I would assume are rich white men.

3. I don’t want to ruin my relationship but gosh my hands are tied. I am getting desperate…. I’m not even sure what kind of advice I need. On one hand I feel like a terrible girlfriend and person. If I had stable employment. This wouldn’t even cross my mind. But on another hand my partner really can’t do anything for now. And if we get married my debt would become his debt and I don’t want to start off a marriage being in a hole.

4. I have applied for financial aid with my school, I have cold called jobs…

Please be empathetic and less mean…