My bf at the time and I, had sex the day before he broke up with me. I was never made aware of how he felt until he was breaking up with me, saying he had been thinking about breaking up for the past couple days. What makes me sad is that he chose his own pleasure over being honest with me. I don't get how one can be intimate while strongly considering breaking up with their partner. I understand that it might've not been done with malicious intent, I understand that he might've been uncertain about breaking up at the time, but his lack of consideration of me/my feelings comes off very disrespectful. It feels so dehumanizing. I feel like I've been deceived and like a choice was taken away from me, all because he chose to withhold important information. I wish he had voiced his doubts sooner, why wait one more day? and after being physically intimate?

Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this?

For context:

• This happened a bit more than a year ago
• We were both 25 at the time (we met in high school)
• He didn't act differently the day before the breakup
• His reason for breaking up was that he doesn't love me anymore

I really do fucken miss you. I’m not sure why even now I still do. Why tf do I still have hope. My heart aches for you. It’s been such a long time. How or when will I get over this. There’s no hope there none at all. Why am I still stuck.

So it all started when I told her to block this guy on Snapchat she didn’t listen so I had her account and I blocked him after she unblocked him even tho they don’t talk then I got mad and I told her to block me. Then she blocked me then after 2 weeks goes by she’s texted me at 2am on TikTok saying I miss you. So I replied back at 4am saying I miss you more . then it’s morning 10pm she tells me let’s forget about everything so I agreed so she unblockes me on Snapchat and instgram. Then she starts telling me I love you and I miss you so much. So I say the same thing about her. Then it’s night time 1am I tell her goodnight baby can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Then she says goodnight baby. So while im sleeping she texted me at 2am saying I promise u on everything I don't have a new man or anything js my parents r getting into shi and im gonna act like a bitch to u if I stay w u rn Js lemme figure this shit out. After she texted me that she blocked me while I woke up at 5am to go for a long walk and pray to god to be with her while I’m in tears. So now it’s the afternoon I add her on Snapchat she added me back and she called me so I pick up and there’s a fucking guy with her and the guy tells me we been dating for the past 2 weeks so I’m so heartbroken and she even sents a voice message saying I don’t love you bitch. This breaks my heart so bad I even woke up at 5am to go outside and pray to god about her while I was crying.

And she also texted me I love you so much and I miss you so much but on god I’m so fucking depressed can you wait for me I willl add you back soon pls wait for me.
But she did me super fucking drity and lied to me while I actually cared about her😔 I can’t believe girls are this evil fuck my life

You know what’s actually crazy?

You can love someone with everything you have…

and still be the wrong person for them.

Not because you weren’t the ‘right person’

But because they simply didn’t want you the way you wanted them.

And no amount of love can fix that. 💔

3 years together. We got in a fight then he broke it off with me. We didn’t even fight a lot either. I think this was our 3rd time fighting throughout 3 years being together.

He was cold when he broke it off. I tried to understand what he needed from me so we can work it out but he said he already made his decision and I respected it.

Not even a week later I get a “hey girl I think your bf is on hinge” DM and she sent me screenshots. Ofc she would think it’s “my bf” still because the body wasn’t even cold yet.

I am so dumbfounded and stunned. We were just laughing and joking around 2 weekends ago. He even asked me if I wanted to maybe go out of town for Halloween weekend. But now it makes me wonder what the hell just happened. Didn’t expect the switch and the 180 flip.

It really feels like death because I am grieving even when the person is still alive

I gave the guy who seemed so sweet and loving, who’s never been in a relationship before a chance thinking he would be different …. I’ve been in bed all day and it’s 7pm, still haven’t eaten anything. I guess he didn’t want to settle with me and wanted to explore ….. maybe I should’ve known he wouldn’t stick with his first gf, how often do we hear about that happening …..

I miss u

Sometimes, I really do miss you. U touched parts of my heart I thought were forever dead. Most of the time I'm ok now. But, barely a day goes by that u don't cross my mind. Still, this week, Thursday came and went, without me thinking about how for months, you would come make my night magical for a couple hours. When I realized that, I congratulated myself on a healing milestone. Life continued without u, even if, for a while, it almost didn't. And for a while, i didn't want it to. I had felt like when you left, u took my heart with you.

I sincerely hope that some day, u will find someone that u can trust. I wish it could have been me. I hope u find a true and lasting love that never leaves you feeling alone, unloved, unneeded or unwanted. I hope u feel the way you made me feel (for a while), but that it lasts forever.

You gave me a gift. One I will always treasure and never forget.

Thank you, beautiful man with the unforgettable brown eyes.

: The piece was created as an illustration for the 1926 edition of the famous French novel Thaïs, written by Anatole France. The novel tells the story of Paphnucius, an ascetic Christian hermit monk living in the Egyptian desert, who becomes obsessed with converting Thaïs, a beautiful and famous courtesan from Alexandria. The artwork vividly depicts the psychological and spiritual torment of the hermit. It shows an aged, rough-featured man asleep while a luminous, ethereal young spirit floats above him. This haunting image captures the themes of desire, religious faith, and spiritual temptation that plague the monk as his repressed thoughts manifest in his dreams. (I am the hermit & the hermit is me)

After breaking up with me last week, I saw today her Instagram reposting the following: "when y'all break up and now food is 8 instead of 55 and an argument".

I don't know how to feel about it because when we were living together, we used to buy our own food separately, and about 80% of the time we hung out, I was the one who paid for it + we didn't argue in the last year and a half.

What do you guys think?

Many people will say that theres no way to heal your breakup. They'll say that you just gotta “ride the waves.” 

However, contrary to common belief, there actually is a secret formula to moving on. I promise, it makes healing 10 times faster. And no, it isn’t getting drunk or high all the time, nor is it the conventional advice like going out, making new friends, working out, and eating healthy.

The secret is accountability. 

But what exactly is accountability?

Accountability isn’t just about accepting what you’ve done wrong in the relationship.

It’s about diving into the underlying reasons behind your breakup and mistakes during your relationship. It is absolute self-transparency and self-acceptance for your true self.

One of the biggest reasons why people struggle healing from breakups or any hard life experience is because their persona runs the show.

Your persona is the mask you wear to mingle in society. The issue isn’t wearing it. It’s when it’s confused as your main identity, also when you start feeling shame over your struggles and shortcomings. The reason why your breakup hurts so much is probably because your mask has fallen off and is revealing your true inner self.

Validate your true, vulnerable self. Give it the room to speak. Start building a relationship with it. Accept your true self’s flaws for what it is while acknowledging that healing and change is achievable with courage. Accountability has a strong positive relationship with genuine self-love.

Nowadays, we normally mistake laziness as a cause. While genuine, surface level laziness may be why some people dodge responsibility,  more often than not it is actually a notable symptom with an underlying cause. The largest issue is actually shame, self-denial, and lack of self-compassion.

This guy (25M) and I (21F) have been involved with eachother on and off for 2 years, who had confessed love to me. We had conflicts and there were times where he has blocked me, unblocked when i reached out and denied blocking and said he deactivated
We have had multiple fallouts, 4 months ago we talked and he again asked for reassurance that im all his, the night went well
Next day, he texted me hey baby and I noticed him delete it because I could not respond despite seeing the text on my notification bar (I was busy). He then texted me again after 2 days, it went well he was affectionate he asked to see me after sending a snap of him and I interpreted he wanted something intimate so I told him I don't think I can do that, he said hes not asking for my nudes, and said not to worry. He still wanted to see me and I sent him regular photos. He heavily complimented me calling me his girl but i just said hahah thank uu
he did not talk to me for 5 days and he texted and I was not personal with him rather i was being neutral. I had fallen asleep mid conversation and texted the next day im sorry i fell asleep
He then again replied to my story and complimented my top and i only replied with 'i knoww'
he left me on read a week after
after this we did not talk for 4 months but he used to watch my stories pretty quickly as i appeared first on his tray. On a weekend he removed me from his instagram after 4 months, this really hurt me

Broke up exactly 1 month ago. Had stayed away from all his social media.. then today, I was going thru my feed... And his friends game live came up on my feed. And I saw him.. at first I felt nothing. I thought. Heh. I'M FINE!! then. Hours later... My itchy backside. I went to his profile. And then I saw it. Another girl. Every single game, she was with him. I was being replaced so quickly.

Suddenly all our gaming memories just flood back. All the time we spent playing together. And then as the relationship progress, the less time he played with me because he was busy hanging with his friends and family.. suddenly after we broke up, he was constantly playing every single day. Where was this when we were together? Maybe he just didn't want to spend time with me so he avoided playing the game.

Suddenly I felt stupid. While I was pining for him, missing him, and he had replaced me. All the time I was thinking of posting stuff for him to notice.. I realized.. his attention was already on someone else. I felt sad.. I was the one who made him laugh in the game. Now some other girl is doing it. I felt like I never mattered.

I went to our discord to look at our pictures (to make sure nothing explicit was left behind) and.. damned, I broke my own heart again. I saw how our relationship progressed. From strangers to friends, to lovers. It just felt.. sad. A low hum of sadness.

His hugs, his kisses, his I love you sayang. I've boxed them up in a box in my memory.

I unfollowed him, deleted him from friendlist in the game, unfriended him in discord. Deleted my profile pic on discord, deleted my picture on tiktok, logged out of TikTok and deleted it, deleted discord where our memories were so I will never go back again. Each click, my finger just hovered there as I whispered goodbye.

Damned. I broke my own heart tonight saying my last goodbye again.

Getting over a breakup doesn’t mean forgetting about your ex. You can actually have them in the forefront of your mind a lot. A common characteristic among those that truly healed is that their exes still occupy their mind from time to time! However, instead of the usual heartache, their ex is a reminder of their inner transformation. 

They saw their ex as a key to something much greater. Because of the heartache and loss, they were able to tap into their most deeply repressed aspects of themselves. They solved their innermost insecurities as they brought it to the surface, gradually reframing the past and beginning their path to emotional development. 

It was not just their innermost insecurities they rediscovered. They also rediscovered repressed talents and ambitions they once buried. By re-practicing these hobbies, they became more aligned with their authentic selves. 

The result of the breakup in the long-run was a renewed sense of self-love. They learned that true self-respect is not merely about standing up for yourself. It embraces complete internal transparency and being able to be content with it. 

Your ex can still be an occasional or even frequent voluntary guest into your head. Let’s be real here. How are you supposed to forget someone that’s helped you grow so much? Therefore, rather than trying to forget, build peace with the mind that constantly brings reminders of your ex. However, giving them space in your head should not be triggering any negative emotions. It should not be obsessive, where you constantly dive into what-if scenarios. Most importantly, it shouldn’t be keeping you trapped in a negative behavioral cycle that reinforces self-limiting beliefs and destructive patterns.

We met at a gas station, she was stressed out about being late to class. I was lost on vacation in a new city, in a rented Ferrari. I pulled up at the pump next to her to put directions in my map & top off my tank. I started pumping my gas, and walked out in front of the car to take pictures. Then she honked at me, she asked if I had a lighter she could borrow to light her blunt. I gave her one, and pulled out my own joint too, she laughed. Then she asked for my number, I gave it to her, something I wouldn't normally do. Why only ask the guy in a Ferrari for a lighter, just go buy one? I went against my gut & did it anyways, she seemed genuine.

Later that day I text her & we started talking. She said all the right things, and on the surface looked like she was living up to her claims. In medical school to be a doctor, running a non-profit, owns a clothing brand. She seemed like she could match my life, my energy. We got along well, so I met her in her parking garage to smoke a blunt & talk about life. We sat in my rented Ferrari for 3 hours, just talking. That night is when I first started to fall in love.

Over the next couple weeks we got close. Our first official date was at a nice rooftop bar. There was a lady there taking pictures for the bar, she came up to us. She had us pose for a couple pictures. She had us cheers, then told us to kiss. I kissed her on the cheek, camera lady laughed, and said in Spanglish "no no, kiss for real", so we did. After that we couldn't keep our hands off each other, ever.

The next couple months were great. We did everything together. We ran all our errands together, I helped take care of her daughter, she cooked for me every night she could, I made sure she always had gas in her car, she made sure I wasn't overworking myself. I was in love, and it felt like she was too. The conversations were turning into planning our future instead of our day, and our bond felt unbreakable. We told each other how we weren't looking for anything, but when we met we felt something different. I did, but now I realize she didn't, it was all a lie.

This all started during my week long vacation to the new city. I extended the vacation 3 times, then signed a lease, just so I could stay with her. She was scared to be serious with me if I was going to go back home, so I didn't, and we got serious. The entire moving process cost me about $250,000. Then the relationship quickly started turning sour. She kept asking for money for things, and I'd give it to her. $2,000 car note, $500 a week in gas, $1,000 for her mom, the list goes on. I paid it, money isn't a problem for me. I'm a provider by choice, it's my duty as a man. She was meeting her duties as a woman so I had no problems with it, until she wasn't.

The texts got shorter & further apart, she was too busy to see me more than once a week, phone calls left unanswered. The only times I heard from her was when she needed something, and I started to realize my mistake. I trusted her, and she took advantage of it. She made me believe she wanted something real, when she just wanted her bills paid. She convinced me she loved me, when she just loved my wallet. She told me she wanted a future with me, when she just wanted my financial future to be hers. She never wanted me, she wanted money. All I ever wanted was to give her the world.

We went back and forth for a couple months, because I was struggling to let go. I was, and still am to an extent, in love with her. I now realize I'm in love with a facade, but that doesn't make it any easier. I've had many relationships in the past, but I don't miss any of them like I miss her. I really don't understand why it's so hard for me to let go. It's been 2 months of no contact, by my own choice, and it's only getting harder. I don't want to relapse and text her again, she's made it obvious now that she doesn't respect me. I want to let go, I want to be happy, but I don't know how.

How can I be in love with a manipulator that doesn't respect me? I don't understand why I can't just let it go, and realize she's not the one for me. I know she isn't, but my feelings don't change, no matter how hard I try to convince myself. I've been in a depressive isolation state for 3 months now. I have no friends, I have no social life. I wake up, I make money, I eat, I get high, and I go to sleep. I leave the house once a week. I don't want this to turn into my life, I just can't find a way to push myself to get back out there.

I miss the girl that ruined me, despite how badly I don't want to.

I want to move on from an unrequited love and I want to unfollow them but I’m afraid of regretting it later on. This relationship would be the end of me and the only way I can get over is through completely isolating myself from that person. Btw I’ve liked them for over a decade.

Our last phone call felt messy and disrespectful

I wish you were in a state where we could have had a healthy and respectful conversation

I think I get triggered when something doesn’t make sense

It reminds me of my mom and then I get angry

There’s a lot of things that I wish were different

Should have listened to this podcast sooner

Should have asked you more detailed questions

If this is how you want to leave our relationship/friendship (yes I remember the post I made earlier this year but I didn’t think how I would react. Now I’m just confused and sad) okay.

I thought we were into each other

I thought we liked each other until you said I’m not your person

The Christmas thing was confusing AF

so this is gonna be long. there was this guy who was a security guard at the building I used to live in. I was in a really toxic relationship back then, abusive honestly, and I was so into him but couldn't do anything about it. I knew he liked me too. he was so decent though, never did anything inappropriate, just very sweet and kind.

2yrs back he started eyeing me out. at that point it didn't mean anything emotional to me yet. I was wearing a top I crocheted myself and he asked me if I made it. I said yes. same day a psychic from india collecting donations for his charity did a reading for me even though I had no money, and he told me there were two guys in my life, one older and one younger. I was so confused.

then we started talking and that's when it changed. one night around 3am I was crying at the beach because I couldn't sleep, and he came outside from inside the building just to check on me and told me it was dangerous to stay there. I wanted to put my head on his shoulder so badly. I found out that night he's like 6 years older than me. after that he became my lifeline. I fantasized about him just to get through my abuse.

the last time I saw him I went over there without my boyfriend, under pretense of taking the dog out.

I couldn't go anywhere unsupervised I was literally in hell. Also every time I broke up he fought for me and wouldn't leave me alone so there was no exit.

It was coercive and controlling abuse among so many other forms of abuse and violence.

I didn't see him (the security guard) for a long time because we had moved somewhere else. He was happy to see me and he literally goes "but you're coming back, right?" and I said yes. my heart was pounding and I wanted to kiss him so bad but I was being a good girl and stayed faithful to my man. now I'm like I should've just done it. and then I never saw him again.

I moved overseas, like 10,000 km away. it's been over a year and I never even touched him and I still miss him so much it's insane. I've been thinking about him this whole time, even back when I was still with my ex, but I never actually saw a point in trying to find him. a couple weeks ago I decided to give it my all and now I'm doing the most. messaged my old neighbor, asked a cleaner at the building, got a friend involved, tried the company he worked for. nobody can get a message to him. I have no number, no socials, nothing.

This feels worse than a heartbreak. I haven't even touched this guy and I will never have a chance to see him again.

His presence and stability meant so much to me when I was going through the worst time in my life.

Even if I could just say thank you it would mean the world to me.

I'm sure he's out there living his life. I wish him all the best.