Life has been downhill since 2020 and my optimism is running thin. I'm 40 now. I was 33 in 2020. I feel like I was never able to live my 30s. I've just been on survival mode the whole time. It's just been setback after setback since 2020. I wish I could rewind time. My mental state is not the same. My financial state is not the same. My whole life is not the same. I can't believe it went from "2 weeks to flatten the curve" but then the world never really went back to normal (at least my world). And just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I fear I will get laid off soon because of AI. I just can't catch a break it seems. I miss 2019. I miss 2018. I miss 2017. And so on.. Didn't know how good I had it.

All my friends just want to talk about memes, video games, or school. Sure, we talk about life issues sometimes, but they usually end up shrugging off deeper questions. Also, nobody seems to understand nuance or the idea of personal growth anymore; someone can hold contradictory emotions and people can eventually change themselves. They aren't their past. I just want someone who will look at the world, acknowledging its imperfectness, yet choosing to face it head on anyways.

This life which most people try to live is just not the right way to be. What life should be like in my opinion is, one should be getting a well enough sleep every night, eat delicious and healthy meals. Visit places and meet strangers and build good friendships. Find love or be adventurous and let love come meet you. And to finance all these one should find a way of income. A job. So a job should be something that gives you token for happiness.

But what’s happening for most of us is a complete joke. We work, work and work in a job. Not enough money. Get a second job. And a third. Pay bills. Pay taxes. Health downfall. Stress. Stress. Stress. And when you get too close to feeling of physical, mental or emotional death. You plan for a time off the stressing agents to go for a vacation. To live for once and take selfies so when you’re soon extracted back to the morbid reality you’ll have something to feel nostalgic. Like a cigarette for the soul.

What is even the point of all this?

I want you to imagine that your life has passed, and now you’re on your deathbed
how would you see your past life?
based on this, answer the main question: If you only had a short time to live, what would you do? would you really be more daring in your life? or would you continue doing what you’re doing now?

I don't know how many people will read this or if it even gets to those people who might help me navigate this tough situation that I am in rn. I don't even want to structure my thoughts and words. I'll just jot down everything on my mind.

When I was 8 or 9 my mom left the country to work abroad and I was with my dad for couple of months. My dad was having affair with another woman and when I was with him he never really cared about me. He left me with some pennues to eat for the whole day and I was the only one in this rented few rooms. I spent many days without seeing him and one day he decided to take me to my relatives in a village where I was to supposed to spend few years. They loved me like I was their own kid and never made me feel unwanted, for which I will always be thankful till my last breath. After 2 years my mom returned and things went exactly like anyone would expect. After that things have gone very ugly. My dad again left me to an organisation where I spent my entire teenage without my mom and dad. I never resented anyone but rather I was always positive and dedicated my time to make everything right. I always had the highest rank in my class for which I was rewarded with some opportunities. But it's been few years my mom has started drinking and she's been admitted to hospital many times and I can sense the money is slowly draining and I have nothing to provide. I was preparing for an exam and now my whole focus is ruined I can't sleep properly and I'm always anxious about what could happen next. I thought I had time and I'll take my time study well and make our life better but now everything seems to fade away slowly.

After all the time I put on making my life better seems like it's been burnt to dust. I am loosing all my hopes and feel like giving up. If you see me in person no one would think I am suffering this much within. From outside I seem like someone who's sorted but I know what mountain I carry. I don't know what to do in this situation and whom to ask for help and suggestions.

I don't even know why I'm here and what I'm doing with this long text. I might even delete this thing later. If anyone could help me with anything please reach out. Even some motivation would be a great help.

I just read the rule of this random community I picked and I don't think they'll push this. I don't even know how I unselect the community so just posting it. :)

Antes de que naciera mi hermana, tuve dos hermanitas que fallecieron prematuramente cuando yo tenía once años. Recuerdo que mi madre lloraba a diario y mi padre tenía que cuidarla; me partía el corazón verla así. Cuando mi madre me dijo que estaba embarazada, me sentí frustrada. No quería volver a verla tan destrozada, así que no entendía por qué querría pasar por aquello de nuevo. No creía que mi hermana fuera a sobrevivir, por lo que, egoístamente, me distancié y me preparé mentalmente para lo peor, hasta que mi madre trajo a mi hermana a casa desde el hospital. Ella me pidió que la sostuviera, pero me sentía nerviosa y un poco culpable, así que dudé hasta que mi madre insistió. Sin embargo, cuando por fin lo hice, ella rodeó mis dedos con los suyos y rompí a llorar. Sentí muchas emociones, pero sobre todo felicidad y alivio al ver que estaba allí. Prometí hacer todo lo posible por cuidarla. Aquello me enseñó lo importante que es tener fe en lo increíble y que protegerme del dolor también puede impedirme experimentar el amor y la felicidad. ¿Cómo te ayudó tu difícil experiencia a aceptar las incertidumbres del futuro?

We complain about over stimulation yet im sitting most days watching something on tv and on my ohone at the same time. Yes i engage with each separately too but being over stinulated seems to be the norm. Fml

I was seriously contemplating this, this past week. Many people seem to think its Stoicism, I am more of a pragmatic nihilist myself. I am simply not calm enough to be a stoic 😝. I was curious to know what many of you think is the most suitable considering the challenges of our times? I also integrate buddhism, christianity and at time epicuruan elements. I definitely think all have some valid basis, but ofcourse one must try and see which is perhaps the most suitable for human beings collectively? Would love to know your thoughts, thank you!

I've [ 20f ] been at home 24/7 ever since my cancer has worsened and I feel so anxious and stressed everyday without rest.

Two weeks ago I found a Karaoke bar that I really liked and wanted to go visit after feeling horribly lonely singing on my own everytime I go karaoke. But then as I planned to go today, all I felt was dread and resistance to even step outside or even get ready. My lunar cycle has just started as well, with today the first day ; lasting for the usual five days.

Even now I feel the urge to delay, delay, delay. To wait till the end of the month to even try going outside at all. Or to stay indoors and not even try.

I thought I no longer had these "Hikikomori" habits but it seems that they're back with full force. . .

Do I even try ?

It seems I don't know anymore.

- Leo

What does a drunk mind sound like? Most people think it’s just someone going crazy, doing stupid stuff, acting out.

But if you ask me? I’d say it’s the only time the filter finally turns off. It shows how you actually see the world. It shows the real you. You talk to people the exact way you want to without overthinking every single word or worrying about their feelings. And honestly, if you’re still sitting there worrying about how the other person feels? Trust me, you aren’t drunk enough. So go on, my friend, get one more bottle down.

It’s October 18th. I’ve been drunk for the last two hours, and sitting here analyzing my life, it hit me: every second I’m sober, I’m just pretending. I’ve faked it for so damn long that I honestly forget who I even am anymore. I literally need alcohol just to drag my real self out. I spend my whole life filtering everything so nobody gets upset. Maybe that’s how it's supposed to work in some fairytale world, but this world is messy and fake.

I started thinking about this because I looked at my own social media today and felt sick to my stomach. Look at how much I curate myself. Today I went to a concert, got drunk, and posted about it. Was that necessary? Hell no. But I did it because I felt like I had to prove to everyone that I was having the time of my life. It didn't even matter if I was actually enjoying it—what mattered was showing people I was.

Think about it. You can listen to that exact same music in your room with your headphones on. If we didn't live in a world obsessed with showing off, that’s probably what most people would rather do anyway. In your room, you’re in control. You can skip whatever you want, loop your favorite part ten times.

Instead, people drop a ton of cash to crowd into a concert. Why? Because this show-off culture is so deep in our bones. We stop caring about what actually brings us joy and just focus on projecting this "perfect" lifestyle, even when we're miserable inside.

You can see the toll this takes everywhere—depression, suicide rates climbing. People are just acting. They aren't actually living. And by living, I don't mean being reckless or annoying people around you. Have a good time, just don't ruin anyone else's day. But we do so many things we hate purely because society labels them "cool."

So next time you're about to do something you secretly can't stand, just because it looks good on a screen—remember it's your life, not theirs.

— A drunk man

I had a bad childhood and would troll and take my anger out on people when I was younger. Just haunts me you know? Like why did I say or do those things? Often feel like karma is going to get me back if it already hasn’t.

I've always been a really sensitive person, and honestly it's just exhausting sometimes. I take things too personally even when I have already known they weren't meaning it that way. A small comment, a different tone of voice, or someone seeming more distant can stick with me for hours or even days while the other people had already forgotten about it.

The frustrating part is that I usually get that I'm overthinking, but that doesn't make the feelings any less real.

​

Sometimes I feel like life is moving so fast, and I'm still trying to understand what I'm doing with mine. There are so many things to think about, decisions to make, and goals to reach, but not everything becomes clear right away.

I guess growing up means learning things one step at a time, even when you don't have everything figured out yet.

For those who are also figuring life out, how do you deal with the uncertainty about the future?

I've struggled with my weight and body image since childhood. People have always body-shamed me, and even though I've never been happy about my weight, food has always been a source of comfort for me.

My husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) even had friends tell him that I was overweight but had a good personality. Those comments have stayed with me for years.

I've had thyroid issues for a long time. My TSH was around 4 last year, but recently it suddenly increased to 10. My husband and I are trying to conceive, so I'm worried about my health and fertility, and I'm planning to address my thyroid levels with my doctor.

I'm 5'3" and weigh 66 kg. I go to the gym regularly and genuinely try to take care of myself, but I struggle with emotional eating. I love chocolate and carbs, and sometimes I eat more than I intend to. When I try to give up all my favourite foods, I feel miserable, and my mood suffers.

My husband and his mother keep telling me to stop eating unhealthy food. I understand they're concerned about my health, but when my husband stops talking to me because I've eaten sweets or overeaten, it breaks my heart. I've been body-shamed for years, and now I feel judged by the people I love most.

Sometimes I just want to get away from everyone. I want to be healthier, but I don't want food to become a source of guilt or to feel like I have to hate myself to change.

Has anyone struggled with emotional eating or been in a similar situation? How did you develop a healthier relationship with food and deal with family members who make you feel ashamed? I could really use some kindness and advice right now.

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It's been years since I've forced myself to live just because I can't d_e, honestly I tried to do a lot of things I focus on my school yet I stopped it and now the person who is supposed to guide me can't even bother to listen to me

Why am I so unlovable? Why i am so horrible is why my personality is so trash that other people always end up hating me. It's painful it hurts I wanna change myself Why am I like this.

I wanna rest but I dunno wanna die a painless end, I saw it with my father when he d I Ed and I don't wannna end up look like that.

Look

Hi everyone,

I have been feeling a bit miserable lately, I live in the UK and I would like to go back to Italy which is my original country. I am working here as a physio and the recognition process seems to be very long and complicated. I also have a boyfriend here and he’s from the UK, so if I decide to move back our relationship would inevitably end.

Any suggestions on what to do?

27 F works at a pizzeria. He’s 48 m and what’s weird is he would playfully flirt with me most days, I thought he was a cool older guy but I know he wasn’t serious. All play, however there’s been occasions where he’ll become randomly rude to me.. I’ve moved past it those few occasions because a few moments later he’d be fine like he just wasn’t being weird.. however, a few days ago he name called me and I confronted him when the few other times I never did… I let the anger go in my heart and I no longer talk to him unless it’s work related. I have no hard feelings towards him but it seems like he does.. when I talk to him about an oder he won’t look at me, he’ll have an attitude when I walk by his area and what blows my mind is HE STARTED THIS…. I’m not even mad anymore and he called me a name but he’s mad????? He continues to do passive aggressive things towards me and i ended up wrapping my day up early today but I felt myself becoming angry and I didn’t want to react emotionally.. anyone deal with anything similar and know why this could be happening? I truly don’t think it’s because he genuinely liked me.. it feels like something else idk.. also like to mention I am a manager so there’s really no higher up to go to besides my boss. I talked to my boss about this already and my boss said when your manager things like this happen and you’ll be alone. Managers don’t have “friends”… I agree to some extent but also don’t think I should be bullied and no one’s correcting the behavior…. Looking for advice on how I should handle this so I’m at peace.

Here's a short intro about me - I'm a Homeschooler and ive been homeschooling for about 4 years. the reason i homeschooled was because i play competitive chess. I travelled for tournaments and i'm a pretty strong chess player. I got my title last year and since then i havent played much due to focusing on my Exams.

I don't know how to express how i feel. I'm a homeschooler so im at home literally everyday, my routine is almost the same everyday, i wake up, study, scroll, post videos online, sleep. Life is so dead rn, i miss school, i miss hanging out with friends, i miss so many things. It's like i missed my entire highschool just to focus on a sport which frankly i dont even know if it was worth it. whenever i hear kids my age telling how much they hate school and stuff i literally think "you are living my dream" i wish i could go back to school again. You dont understand how good youve got it until you're in someone elses shoes you know?

Lately, especially this last year i feel so empty, from the outside it looks fine but inside, in my head, im like all alone. As i said in my intro, i post videos online. its genuinely one of the only things that actually make me happy. But the more i think about it i feel like its cope for what all im missing out on.
This year life has been so stressful, im forced to choose subjects for a career i dont even know if id like, im supposed to make all these big decisions, my dad keeps pressurising me. Idk man

And it doesnt help when every reel or movie or series involves kids my age in relationships and parties and really enjoying their teenage years. while im here sitting in my room doing nothing.

Why do i feel this way? how to get rid of this feeling? What do i do????

For a long time now I've been internally debating the meaning of morality. Most of the time I feel it's a type of all encompassing compassion and sympathy. it is to love the world and those in it unconditionally, to have mercy and forebearance in the path of righteousness.

But, it gets deeper than that, for the question of moral and immoral actions arises. So I'd like to ask what some of you believe morality is.

I want deep foundational answers, not simply work hard, provide for your family, etc. Because even bad people can have families they love.

I am 31F single, how can I restart my life? Been jobless since a year feels like all my education and experience is not able to fetch me a job anymore...

Most loneliest person...I could earn a single person in my life..my phone is always silent no one wants to know if I am alive or not... family also makes me feel lonely... I literally have no one....how can I earn people and make them love me and genuinely want me..

How should I restart my life??

Hi I always wonder that if certain people are born with absolute luck. I don’t feel jealous but when I see others thriving in friendships, relationships and other things, I feel as if I wasn’t meant for those. I have struggled with severe anxiety since childhood and even depression was intense but now it’s better. But I try to put in efforts to make friends, talking stages and it seems like nothing actually happens. It’s like everyone has something I am missing. I mean I try to love myself more everyday but at the end of the day we are humans and need a close person who can get us. I don’t know if this is because I feel very deeply and sensitive or I was actually not born with any good luck.

I was just thinking back on how I broke up with my ex just before we got our home and it was immensely heart wrenching at least for me to lose it and what could have been our future, but looking back now, it was a blessing in disguise as I realise that we weren't ready, financially and emotionally, but also that personally, I wanted to escape my own home and used my ex as a means to an end...

So I was just curious as to what were some things for you that was painful or didn't make sense back then, but retrospectively, was a blessing in disguise...?

I’m turning 27 and I’ve never had a stable job. I landed one this year and the fear of committing to it weighs over me. I’m from Australia so we’re very far from all the countries people choose to live in. I spent my 20s in unhealthy relationships, bouncing from job to job, undiagnosed and unmedicated adhd (until recently) and dealing with mental health issues, combined with overall low self worth. I’m in a healthy relationship now with my boyfriend who I absolutely adore and means the world to me but I keep thinking about how I haven’t been able to live overseas like I would have wanted to. I hear alot of people saying it’s something you should do and gain life experience while others say to build your career etc. I’m in the weird age where I feel like it’s time to start taking life seriously since where I’m from (Australia) the cost of living crisis is cooked. I know my boyfriend wants to buy a property together before things get more expensive but I’m afraid I’ll be locked in to something and won’t be able to be flexible. I don’t know how to navigate this time in my life. My mind constantly goes from: move out of your parents house where the trauma happened, see how you think and where your head is at when you’ve left and have your own space to just travel now while you’re young with no responsibilities

One job in a factory with sheet metal pressing (good money) and the other a job offer of assembly work for a few hours in a family company (less money) this job is for 4-5 Hours every day.

I don't know how to decide but I honestly tell you that I am more inclined to the opinion that I would rather take a job when I have less money and where I will be happier and it will be a more comfortable job. I will feel better even if they don't have as much money as in the other job. What do you think?