r/mildlyinfuriating • u/ImportanceSharp9408 • 15d ago
frist of all how DARE yu o Why, on a nearly empty train, would you sit directly in front of me— put your chair all the way back AND smell offensive? 🥲
Come on! I know I don’t own the train, I only paid for the seat. Theoretically, he could sit next to me and that would be fine. I could just move over a seat. I could move and sit next to him. Very mildly infuriated.
Update: I went to the restroom, after building up a big fart at the advice of wise Redditors but punked out on releasing it into the wild. I planned to move when I returned but he was gone! Perhaps it was a coincidence, when I left my seat with all my belongings, maybe that just happened to be his stop or maybe he was a creep. We may never know. Thanks for all your throughly hilarious responses though!
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u/InvincibleIronStan 15d ago
Some people have no social awareness and I'll never understand how
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u/nerdforest 15d ago
I was in line for something, and this person was right behind me, literally on top of me. I moved a little to give myself some space and he moved closer.
Please, dear god give me some space and do not be ontop of me.
Same for when I'm getting off a train. Literally this morning, I was getting off the train. There was someone infront of me wanting to get off and didn't give me any space to get off. Mildly infuriating.
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u/Generic-Cheese 15d ago
The personal space one is full on infuriating, it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. I worry about my wallet being stolen.
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u/Rk_1138 15d ago
Or getting jumped
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u/Alarmed-Plankton-708 15d ago
Or groped. One time when I was a teenager I had a gross old man with yellow finger claws lift my shirt sleeve "to see my tattoo." Without asking or even announcing his presence. Just came up behind me and started lifting my shirt up.
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u/analogpursuits 15d ago
A few times in my life I have turned around in the grocery line, looked directly at the person breathing down my neck, and said, "can you step back 3 feet and give me some personal space? Thaaaaanks."
You can too, it's that easy.
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u/AsherFenix 15d ago
Last time I did that was right at the start of Covid. Guy wanted to fist fight me because of it.
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u/RustyNK 15d ago
Yeah, I dont put up with socially inept people in public. I will unapologetically tell someone to move or back up.
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u/analogpursuits 15d ago
Yup. Same goes for video/speaker phoners. Nope nope nope. A month ago in Costco, I got behind a lady on video/speaker chat and made faces and wildly gesticulated at her phone, over her shoulder. I overheard her friend say, "who was THAT??" 🤣 I was already snickering over by the mandarin oranges.
Another grocery store incident near the eggs when they were $10/carton found me saying, "Exactly nobody here cares about your trite little conversation". Cursing ensued behind me as I continued down the yogurt and cheese aisle. More LOLS.
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u/ancient_sluts 15d ago
Every time I’ve done that they act surprised and offended! Like, sir… I can feel your breath on me please move back!
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u/Bitter-List-770 15d ago
That’s when I take a bit of a step forward but JUST with one foot. Leave the other back there. Instant buffer zone.
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u/CatCatCatCubed 15d ago
I’ll rotate a little and swing my purse back and forth. It’s not even on a long strap but over my shoulder, tight under my elbow. Like, if that can hit someone, they’re WAY too close.
Sometimes I stand like a flamingo and wiggle my foot, or stand on my toes and swing my leg slightly while leaning on my cart. Again, if that’s bothersome to someone, TOO CLOSE.
And yet I’ve had people grumble and back up.
Similar issues with my trying to pay and bag my groceries myself quickly. Like, hello, it’s not your turn to be in front of the cashier? Back the fuck up.
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u/analogpursuits 15d ago
Again, it is really easy to turn around and say you need more personal space. I dont give these asshats an inch of patience.
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u/Alarmed-Plankton-708 15d ago
People are way too scared of strangers being mad at them. Let them be upset, you'll never see them again, and they brought it on themselves with their disregard for those around them! Fuck their feelings!
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u/TJCGamer 15d ago
Its probably more the paranoia of running into a crazy person. Doesn't help that the internet and the news has always made it seem like there are psychopaths behind every corner, making people too scared to even interact with strangers. They don't know when one will just decide to attack them.
Not saying I agree, but I do understand how it got to this point. Especially when you are seeing these viewpoints from people online, who probably watch too much shit on the internet.
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u/nerdforest 15d ago
Yeah, it's not something that happens to often thankfully. I'll definitely do this next time.
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u/br0wnb4nana 15d ago
I honestly fart lol or flip my hair back, something to show you are way too close to me!!
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u/Creme_de_la_Coochie 15d ago
That’s happened to me and I stepped on their shoes
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u/asst3rblasster 15d ago
I did that and the guy grabbed my neck and started squeezing
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u/mandyscott2 15d ago
I will literally tell someone to give me space don’t give a fuck who you are i will gladly point it out! I was in this situation when I stopped at an amusement park road tripping. I was alone and every time I stepped forward to give myself room this woman behind me would step forward too and kept bumping into me she was so damn close! After the third time I asked her “are you good?” I ended up realizing she was drunk and she told me she was looking for her daughter. We ended up chatting and she was chill but for a moment I almost posted about her on here lmao I was so annoyed
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u/Unrealistic_ad 15d ago
I was in a theme park last week and the people behind me were doing the exact same thing. It was driving me crazy. I turned around and gave them a couple of judgemental looks, I think they got the hint because they backed off, lol. Ofc I could've said something but you never know how people may react. I've worked with people long enough to know that even if you say something in a super friendly manner, people may still lash out. I don't wanna have to deal with that, especially not on a nice day out.
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u/bisky_riscuits 15d ago
That's when I turn around with the "who tf is brushing up agaisnt me?" face, then I give the up/down look and lean to look behind them, with a face that says "is the line so bad you seriously can't back up?"
That's usually enough for the person to step back while acting like I'm the bitch for having attitude instead of asking.... as if they need to be asked to have general courtesy and awareness.
If anyone tries touching me or scoffing then I have to get a little more loud and direct... for reference I'm 5'5". Its easy for folks to dismiss making another person uncomfortable nowadays; especially if they look too small or timid to speak up.
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u/TjbMke 15d ago
This is why I have my groceries delivered. I just can’t handle standing in line with people that act like they’ve never been shopping or in any public place. And it’s every time.
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u/squeaky369 15d ago
Since we're on the topic of travel and people with no social awareness, the same thing happens just about every week when flying. Waiting at rhe baggage claim, theres 100+ feet of space and every time someone walks up and stands in the 3 feet between the claim and myself. Like wtf are you doing?
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u/SaveusJebus 15d ago
It's like the people that choose to sit right in front of people on an otherwise empty beach.
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u/CliffAnon 13d ago
Nearly empty beach and then a gregarious family arrives.
Gregarious, adj. Live, travel or roost in flocks or herds. Love being around others, overly chatty.
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u/BottleMean6139 15d ago
Some people also pretend to have no social awareness. Creeps always fall back on playing dumb.
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u/ImportanceSharp9408 15d ago
Update: I went to the restroom, after building up a big fart at the advice of wise Redditors but punked out on releasing it into the wild. I planned to move when I returned but he was gone! Perhaps it was a coincidence, when I left my seat with all my belongings, maybe that just happened to be his stop or maybe he was a creep. We may never know. Thanks for all your throughly hilarious responses though!
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u/ShotEffective7033 15d ago
This isn’t a social awareness thing. Or at least almost certainly not anyhow. The guy is almost certainly getting off on imposing on her space.
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u/Murphs-law 15d ago
Like when you’re at the grocery store looking at items on the shelf and someone pushes their shopping cart right in between you and those items and stops. I must be invisible because it happens every single time I go grocery shopping.
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u/Alternative-Park-841 15d ago
If you are standing so far back from the item that you are looking at that a cart can fit between you and the shelf with the item you are looking at, you've gotta be standing in the middle of the aisle. Combined with the fact that this apparently happens every single time you go grocery shopping makes it sound like you might be the one with no social awareness.
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u/RemarkableAutism 15d ago
If a cart fits between you and the shelf, you're also lacking social awareness. Get closer to the shelf.
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u/krileon 15d ago
Maybe I'm just blind as fuck, but examining a 6ft tall shelf with hundreds of items on it from 1-2 feet away is a bit difficult.
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u/extraordinous 15d ago
Okay how you gonna read whats at your feet when you’re 5-6 feet above it and not away from it? It’s called say excuse me and gtfo the way or stand beside and look too.
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u/HawkJefferson 15d ago
You can't imagine a scenario where someone might need space between them and the shelf to be able to see things? Not a single one?
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u/sherlock1672 15d ago
I'd like to see you inspect the contents of the bottom shelf while standing right next to it with that nice little overhang of the shelf over the shin-level goods blocking your view.
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u/Sea_Ott3r 15d ago
That’s when you move a few seats over. And perhaps they’ll get the subtle non-confrontational hint
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u/AppleLightSauce 15d ago
Passive aggression is a redditor's trait at this point
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u/Worcestercestershire 15d ago
What is aggressive about moving away from someone? It's not passive aggressive. It's just plain old passive.
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u/LosHtown 15d ago
Its like when you park far away and someone comes parks right next to you in an empty parking lot.
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u/PeeB4uGoToBed 15d ago
Not only that, its ALWAYS a massive truck or SUV parked nearly touching your car and pulled up further than it should be so its impossible to see when you try to go and end up hitting some old lady walking slowly with a cane, now she's in a wheelchair and she sues you for everything you have then your wife divorces you because of the financial strain you put on the family. You lose the house and move into a run down duplex with a neighbor that has nonstop barking dogs and the tv blaring 24/7.
You can't get sleep so your performance at work gets worse and worse until you get fired, you gotta sell the car that started all this to help makes ends meet.
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u/R3bussy 15d ago
I was at the gym the other night at, like, 9:00 pm. Nearly all of the treadmills were empty save for 3 other people. I chose a treadmill on the very far end in the empty back row. Just me. After 20 minutes of jogging, some incredibly oniony, wet dog smelling, sweaty man in a weighted vest came over and got on the treadmill right next to me. Probably 40 treadmills in this place, 4 of them occupied, and you jump on the one right next to me.
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u/Frosty1397 15d ago
I feel like we should apply the urinal rule to everything
Do not ever use the urinal next to me if there's another urinal somewhere else. Same thing with parking. It's just fucking awkward and unnecessary
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u/enwongeegeefor 15d ago
Do not ever use the urinal next to me if there's another urinal somewhere else.
Immediately engage them in conversation if someone does this. If they act confused, point out they must have wanted conversation since they choose the urinal next to you IN A NEARLY EMPTY BATHROOM.
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u/Due_Boss9277 15d ago
My dog does the same thing. He has the whole house to roam around in, yet he always sits just a meter away from me.
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u/ArgentoFanUK 15d ago
If your dogs anything like mine, she farts then leaves the room. I often get blamed for her offences 😐
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u/MelodicMockingjay74 15d ago
My dog climbs onto the back of the couch, rests her corgi ass right on your shoulder, let's out a quiet poof sound, and then acts like she's uncomfortable, and moves while the smell comes on
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u/caintowers RED 15d ago
I feel like I have the only dog in the planet that just doesn't fart. I think she's done it like twice over 2 years around me.
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u/Background_Survey646 15d ago
That's because you're his pack leader and he loves you unconditionally.
Appreciate your dog.
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u/Captain_Tr1ps 15d ago
Similar happened to me on a nearly empty bus. I was already sat and reclined all the way back when a couple gets on and decides to sit directly behind me. They started talking and giggling so I got up and moved because its 7am and I wasn't in the mood for that shit. People are fucking weird.
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u/EarthlostSpace 15d ago
It’s on purpose..BEWARE!
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u/enwongeegeefor 15d ago
This....almost NO ONE is this dense. They're doing it on purpose...they are assholes.
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u/HistoricalMatch3801 15d ago
Sometimes I wonder why people will literally go out of there way to sit by you when there are empty spaces for them… But you know what? Maybe people do it because they are subconsciously lonely?
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u/CheekyHarris33 15d ago
Happens to me regularly in public spaces. I will intentionally sit alone to have my peace, yet somehow almost EVERY time. Someone will sit directly next to me, park directly next to me when there is more than enough space to avoid doing so. My Mom says it's my aura... (her way of trying to make me feel less irritated)
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u/Frosty1397 15d ago
Same thing with giant parking lots
I choose a spot way in the middle with no cars, far from the storefront, so I can eat in my car in peace
Then some guy pulls up and parks right next to me, sits in their car for ages. Like are you serious bro?
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u/NibblesMcGiblet 15d ago
I cannot tell you how many times I have bought fast food during my work lunch and then parked in a massive plaze parking lot to eat, in an area large enough to serve multiple stores, and someone will pull up exactly right next to me while I"m eating. I always move my car. If I wanted company on my lunch break I'd go to the break room. I need time to decompress from the "joys" of retail.
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u/quantumwoes 14d ago
What is this?? This used to happen to me so much. I just wanted to sit and eat my lunch in peace. It happened every other time without fail, weird as hell
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u/SomebodyStoleTheCake 15d ago
I think there is some kind of primal "safety in numbers" instinct to it. There has to be.
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u/_Keahilele_ 15d ago
Either that or he wants to force her to acknowledge him.
It’s like when you’re wearing headphones and clearly don’t want to be bothered, and then a guy walks up to you and gestures for you to take your headphones so he can bother you.
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u/unremarkedable 15d ago
I have whatever the opposite is. In college I'd get to class early and sit in an empty row, and then all the OTHER rows would fill up. Like what. It happens all the time. My RBF must be off the charts
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u/satanichispanic666 15d ago
I guess you and I have the same aura. Lol. I have the type of face that says you should talk to me. It comes in handy when you need help though, so trying to be positive about it 😂
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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 15d ago
Maybe they are lonely because they smell bad and they have no situational awareness?
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u/Evening-Appeal7606 15d ago
It‘s a herding behaviour. Someone already sitting/parking somewhere tells the new joiners that this is a good spot. So they don‘t have to think for themselves anymore and just follow your lead.
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u/captcha_wave 15d ago
I definitely feel it. I could be having a perfectly normal day, and then walk by a store that for no apparent reason has a huge line in front of it, and part of my brain immediately wants in despite having no idea what I'm missing out on.
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u/ShotEffective7033 15d ago
And then put the seat all the way back because they are so lonely They want to be as close to you as possible lmfao?
98% chance this guy is getting off on imposing on her space.
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u/StrangerOnTheReddit 15d ago
That might be true, but given we can see OP has a pink purse and skinny thighs, I think it's more likely he was a creep. Just based on personal experience.
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u/matt314159 15d ago
This is perfect fodder for this sub because it's MILDLY infuriating. Yeah OP could move, but still that's mildly infuriating that you'd have to.
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u/TurtleDustScissors 15d ago
You left your seat with all of your belongings with you? Or you brought them with you? Because if you left them there, and then he was suddenly gone when you came back, he probably stole something
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u/VVVixen101 15d ago
Thats what i was thinking! Id check everything 30 times after he was gone, its wayyy too weird that he left like that.
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u/2020mademejoinreddit Oh no you di-in't! 14d ago
I have a theory with such people. I think they just prefer to sit near other people and sitting alone makes them uncomfortable.
Or it could just be a weirdo. Who knows...
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u/IdleMan69 14d ago
Some are also assholes who enjoy pissing off others or making them uncomfortable. Could be either.
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u/RockingInTheCLE 15d ago
So....did you move or just sit there seething?
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u/BONEPILLTIMEEE 15d ago
well if I were him and couldn't move I would upgrade it to moderately infuriating at least
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u/Key_Fold_1189 15d ago
He’s working up the courage to approach you - if I were you I’d move, preferably close to an exit door.
It’s not ideal, but I definitely wouldn’t advise you to directly confront a smelly (and clearly delusional) suitor on an empty train.
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u/Jean-Ralphio11 15d ago
Yep, I used to know this guy who was so weirdly confident he believed opening with negative circumstances like this was beneficial as he could eventually talk them into liking him.
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u/thebigfish101 15d ago
I would’ve said “man it smells like shit on this train” while standing up and moving.
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u/Ornery_Zucchini_3789 15d ago
To irritate the crap out of you. Pack it up and move. Be dramatic about it.
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u/Southern_Sprinkles_6 14d ago
I know some people would just sit in it to not offend or seem confrontational but I personally would move. I dont have the capacity to deal with crazy people so I would sooner remove myself than deal with whatever they have going on internally.
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u/DouglasHundred 15d ago
Because he's a guy and I'm assuming you're a young woman and that's just what some assholes do to women?
Not that it's justified, but I've seen enough women complaining about it that I know it's a thing.
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u/lambruhsco 15d ago
This shit happens to my wife all the time. Fat, smelly dudes will go out of the way to get into her personal space, often unnecessarily seating themselves next to her and then manspreading. She’s absolutely unafraid of confrontation, so she always tellsthem to get out of her space, and then they spend the rest of the time sulking.
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u/lolita-simon 13d ago
Humans are like cattle - we instinctively want to be next to each other, in a line, a group, etc. It's horrible lol
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u/NevenRKSR 12d ago
I instinctly avoid that.... maybe that's why my friends label me as non human 😆🤣❤️🌌✨
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u/Xinra68 15d ago
This is the same kind of guy that will pee next to you when there are plenty of empty urinals too. These kind of people can't be trusted. Move away from him.
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u/inertSpark 15d ago
Holy shit man yes. There's an unwritten rule of etiquette that you take the urinal as far as is possible from the next guy. I don't want their splashback, and they don't want mine.
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u/wcoastbo 15d ago
Oh there's an order in a large empty multiple urinal restroom. Furthest from the door, if that one is dirty, the next. If someone is already there, furthest from the occupied. You just keep splitting the distance until only adjacent urinals are available.
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u/inertSpark 15d ago
Not to forget you stare at the wall the entire time, and you don't engage in conversation with anybody for any reason.
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u/0RGASMIK 15d ago
At the airport on a 2 hour layover working at an empty terminal. Bigger lady sat down behind me fell into her seat so hard her back slammed into my head pushing me forward. Turned around said excused me but she had headphones on and ignored me.
Not a single person in that row and she chose the one behind me. There was a person at the desk cleaning up who saw it but pretended to ignore it. I was working from my laptop and had my bag open so moving wasn’t easy so I just sat back down.
Lady got up to do something and did it again 2 minutes later this time I felt the back of her head hit mine so I know she felt it too, stood up and started yelling “hello excuse me” but she kept ignoring me.
Walked around the front and asked her what the fuck she was doing. Had 0 idea that she had nearly given me a concussion twice. Desk lady came over to ensure I didn’t put myself on a list but the lady’s utter lack of understanding of what she had done was so appalling it made her mad too lol.
Made her move to a window seat where her back couldn’t knock heads. Didn’t even apologize just acted like we were inconsiderate for asking her to move.
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u/HastenDownTheWind 15d ago edited 14d ago
Same type of person that parks right next to your car when there are spaces everywhere. Just start farting or talking on the phone really loud. She’ll leave
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u/ace250674 15d ago
Get up and say "oh my god I think the train toilets are overflowing" and then move away
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u/iceman213 11d ago
Because people need to be around other people,,,
Perfect example is when you’re driving on the highway and notice that other cars like to be right up against you or next to you instead of giving themselves space….
It’s a natural thing that people do…
Sometimes I find it annoying.
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u/hashlettuce 15d ago
Get up an move to a different seat. I can not tolerate other men who use cologne excessively or women with their perfumes and dry hair shampoos. Cuts right through my lungs and I cant breathe proper.
If someone stinks with BO and its hard to breathe you dont have to endure it. Get up and move.
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u/vladi_l 15d ago
Is it a train with assigned seating? I've gotten weird looks for sitting next to people on an empty train, but I know the schedule, and that there's a massive influx of people a few stops after where I get on
On a full train, the staff can be pretty anal about order. So I'd rather just sit where I need to be from the start, unless someone specifically consents to switching places
The smell tho, that's a real shitshow, sorry
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u/Hei-Hei-67 BLUE 15d ago edited 15d ago
It's an amtrak train, so no assigned seating
Edit: I'm wrong
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u/TrojanThunder 15d ago
That's not true. Amtrak has both assigned and non assigned seating depending on the train. Why did you get up voted for this? You're wrong.
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u/Better_Payment_5831 14d ago
Nah if they smelled that would have been the cherry on top and I would’ve immediately moved but not before making some slight shuffling noise and making sure they see me move.
I feel they don’t have a motive to do that so instead I play as a disrespect like yes there’s something so wrong with you that I don’t want to be near you and they internally get appalled(yup I’ve seen it before) and start overthinking
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u/Tneon 15d ago
As a german: Because thats the number on my ticket anything else feels iligal
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u/fun_skeletor 15d ago
He’s a creep. Please move to another area with someone nearby where they can help you if need be, at least to discourage him from doing anything, even if that’s just talking to you.
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u/showerbump 15d ago
Probably because you're a girl and hes hoping in his dumbass mind you guys might strike up a conversation.
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u/elKane0 15d ago
I was supposed to sit behind you and kick your seat but I had to call out sick.
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u/DoctorMelvinMirby 15d ago
“Ooof, something smells like shit.”
Then get up and move a few seats back.
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u/Sensate613 15d ago
You gave all the reasons why theyd do that. They smell and they want to share that with you. Whats the point of smelling bad if no one is around to be offended.
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u/DatDrawingCosplayer 15d ago
As a woman, this actually scares me. I don't care if it's a guy or another woman, side front or back. I'd move immediately as possible. I've seen some sketchy shit and I'm not going to get harassed or gods forbid assaulted in any way.
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u/AaronTuplin 15d ago
I would verbally announce "okay, I guess I'll move" and then loudly pack up my stuff and aggressively close the little tray table
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u/HousingOk6362 14d ago
Another possibility, they may have been looking to rifle through your belongings if you got up to use the restroom, were sleeping, etc.
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u/Single-Kangaroo1180 15d ago
Maybe he is doing that new “alpha max pheromone” thing…where idiots have been influenced to avoid showering, deodorant, etc, so their natural pheromones can make women “swoon” in their presence🤣🤣
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u/gemfountain 15d ago
It happened to us the other day at the beach while we were surf fishing. Practically empty beach and a small group came and set up right next to us. Then they came down to the water to swim a bIt later as we were casting and looked annoyed we were fishing. We'd been there several hours already . WTF?
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u/psychedelicCyclops 15d ago
Move to the seat in front of him and do the same thing lol