I started scrolling through dating advice subreddits because it makes me feel a lot better about my own dating life and the amount of people who are requesting advice from people using this site, and the advice people give is insane. At times it feels like a bunch of aliens learning how to emulating human interactions.

I saw a comment that got a shit ton of likes basically saying that if men meet an attractive woman it's best if he asks her if he can flirt with her. Like "hi, I'm James, would it be alright if I flirt with you?" like who the fuck does that. in what fucking world does a guy go up to a woman and say that and DOESN'T come across like a serial killer.

It's the most misanthropic, asocial, neurotic people of all time telling other asocial neurotic misanthropes how to be social. Everyone is just feeding each other the worst advice they can think of

It's so incredibly infantile being an adult who's afraid of conflict or disapproval. I'd feel better about it if it was motivated by some sense of altruism, but I'm honestly just too obsessed with how others perceive me and base my self-worth around it.

Whenever I'm around people I feel like an obsequious little snake because they always think I'm really nice, when really I just have a massive aversion to conflict, so I harbor all my judgment and resentment of others internally. I think most people who interact with me are talking to a completely made-up person more or less.

I actually admire people who are just outwardly assholes, because at least they have the conviction to be honest about their thoughts even if people dislike them for it. Even a good person is okay with pissing someone off if it means standing by their beliefs. I think being a people pleaser just turns you into an NPC who's incapable of holding any challenging beliefs about the world

29f in brooklyn. i'm mainly talking about dating but also even platonically. i cannot for the life of me meet people i really click with beyond getting coworker / acquaintance energy from them. i've done the all usual advice like take classes, put your out there more. i swear to god i give people chances and put in the time to get to know them, but oh my god its just not happening for me. i love being by myself but i want people i love in my life

I would say I’m a solid 7 and every guy I get with in my personal life is attractive, but I just got on hinge because apparently I’ve run out of places to meet guys but I get maybe 2 likes a day??? Am I that much of a personality hire??? And I’m a woman so everyone says oh hinge is where it’s at but evidently not??

Yeah

we had been talking on/off on an obscure sapphic shitposting app for months. we both admired each others gumption. she lives in the next city over but had finally found an excuse to be in my area. perfect. we schedule evening drinks at a local dive bar.

the first thing i noticed when i got there is that she didn’t look like her pictures. nobody really does, which is fine, but it was clear her pictures were representative of her best days and this was not one of them. i was also vaguely insulted by her outfit. i love making a lasting impression, and given the occasion i had arrived wearing leather heels, a pock marked skirt, vintage corset, a fur shawl, and full face, plus my favorite perfume. she was in leggings and washed out thigh-length dress.

okay, fine. i was being vain and superficial. but these are ideas we had bonded on so i assumed the actualization would be mutual. whatever. i sat down and tried to run through the usual gambit of first date smalltalk. as the conversation went on she began reminding me of the outwardly opinionated nerdy boys i would hang out with in high school. she seemed reluctant to divulge anything truly personal about herself - outright refusing to talk about her favorite movies despite bragging about being a film nerd. suddenly, only about 30 minutes into the date, she asks if i want to go back to my place.

at this point the creeping dread that had been building up inside me was overwhelming. “i’m not sure. i’d rather stay here for a while and talk more,” i say. she gets very quiet, then grabs her purse and excuses herself to the bathroom. she must have been gone for 10-15 minutes and the whole time i’m finishing my second drink wondering if i’ve been dashed out on. when she comes back she’s flustered and her breath smells of butyric acid. our waiter stops by the table and she closes out her tab while mumbling something about drinking too much and staying the night at a friends house, then leaves.

the next morning i see a post from her on the app lambasting scores of people who only want to fuck her but have no respect for her time or personhood. i know it’s about me, somehow. i react to it with a frowning emoji and she deletes the post. we haven’t spoken since.

i can’t help but wonder how many people she’s bedded with this approach, and what kind of vibes i was giving off to indicate i would be one of them. i must get to the root of this and pry it from myself.

I knew about Democracy Now! for a while but never really listened to it. I like her style much more than Hasan, Sam Seder, and a lot of the YouTube slop I watch haha. There's a clear left learning slant to it but it still comes across as grounded and serious journalism instead of edutainment.

Are there any particular videos or interviews that I should check out?

Basically I have this cousin who isn't a bad dude but his brain is kinda fried from drugs and idk if it's out of nerves or something but this guy laughs at anything that has any weight or possibility to make you uncomfortable. For example, he collects VHS movies and got a copy of Harmony Korine's KIDS which I hadn't seen since high school and loved that movie so I was kinda sitting and watching for a second and he thought the scene of the younger kids smoking on the couch was just so funny and like yeah there's a levity to the scene and this doesn't sound all that bad in a vacuum or whatever but it just really takes the weight out of whatever it is being laughed at.

Another example: I brought up that I'd recently saw Nosferatu and that I just found it pretty creepy and atmospheric and he just thought that was so damn funny just the mere idea of the movie having any sort of gravitas to it and it's like mf what is funny?

I've met a few other dudes like this and I feel bad cause they're just doing them but damn does it really deflate whatever the topic is

I'm back in the dating game once again and I went on a 3rd date last night that was... ok. Not good, not bad...ok. To start off, she was over an hour late, the one thing I'm really anal about is punctuality, especially when we have reservations. I was already out, dressed, and done up, and I didn't want to waste a good fit, haircut, a skin mask, and the last of my favorite fragrance. I also had already venmoed her for her uber out, had some flowers, and I talked this date up real big to my friends so I'd be real embarassed to tell them it didn't happen, so I just waited it out.

When she finally did arrive, she was under dressed. Now idrc how a woman dresses, not my place to say, but this place had a dress code which I sent her when I made the reservations. Thankfully I had spent the last hour buttering up the hostess as I couldn't even get to the table and she let us in anyways.

Then the actual "date" went pretty good. Great conversations, a lot in common, she's super funny, all the things you'd hope out of a good date. She didn't really ask questions and I had to set up all the conversations, which is another thing I'm fine with but I do notice.

So then after the date she asks if I wanna come over, I take her back home and her home is a mess. Like she hadn't cleaned it in weeks. I'm not a neat freak but I always ensure a spotless house pre date just in case we go back to my place. Her roommates were over and we went back to her room and she suggested we watch Gone Girl. I had never seen the movie and she talked over it the entire time to explain everything to me. That is also not a movie I felt like there was ever a good time to make a move during. Then after the movie she fell asleep and I left.

So I'm left trying to question if this was a bad date or not. Nothing like THAT bad happened but it just didn't leave a good taste in my mouth. Idk if I would call it bad, just a little off. I don't want to not want to see her again but it was also a pretty poor showing on her part. idk man dating is so fuck complicated nowadays.

so today i quit my night serving job and felt like everything that happened was a sign i made the right choice.

i chose to wear my gold cross earrings because something drew me to them. all my tables today were weird AF. One of them was an eccentric, needy woman & her husband. my last one was a family who got extremely upset & complained to a manager, so i was cut early.

when i got home, someone went off in the work gc and exposed the owner & management for stealing tips.

i just wanted to rant to someone bc i have no friends & my partner is away for work. i feel like once i leave a place it immediately goes to shit. am i delusional or egotistical?

The millennialification of Gen Z is already here. It has been here. They’re old. We’re old. I’m old

Honestly y’all not to be this guy but life ain’t too bad. Listening to some good music, sitting outside feeling the fresh air!!!!! AHHHHHH we are alive enjoy the small things guys. Just listen to some new order and be with yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!