I've lived in NYC my whole life and I love it here but I think I would like SF (I've never been). I picture hanging out in The Mission and eating Thai food while going on a Hinge date with some cute tech worker. Then the weekend rolls around and I drive out to see some redwoods or go to the beach where I can wear a windbreaker like in Twilight. Maybe go to Half Moon Bay or something?

I know it's crazy expensive but idk if it's pricier than New York. I wanna go soon

I’ve been seeing this eccentric professional lab coat lanyard girl. I chalked up her charmingly immature and eccentric behavior to the spectrum. She always wants monchichis and calico critters. She makes little crafts out of pictures of us. It’s really cute, but like a lot of her traits, doesn’t match the age and demeanor of who she purports to be. Not once did I suspect what I think I found out today.

Every morning I get a good morning text around 7 then she vanishes until the afternoon. Never get calls or pictures of her in transit or before around 3. Her lunch breaks (when we meet) are at 4pm. Before I started meeting her, she would complain about her lunch and I suspected maybe she was a college student living at home.

Now I get it. It’s not a job, but an afterschool internship. She hides her lanyard bc it probably gives that away. Her caretakers drive her around and watch her location, which is why she never brings her phone to our meetups, and why we have only ever met in my car in her lunch break. So many things about her make sense now.

Here’s what happened.

She pocket dialed me and at the end of a 3 min recording about something that smelled bad in the lab and how her nose doesn’t work, she asks her friend “are you ready for the quiz tomorrow? Well you took AP Bio, right? So you should be fine”.

My first thought was that she is pranking me (seeding the “accidental” pocket dial to fuck with me). I knew we were age gapping, which I was already iffy about, but, well, hopefully she’s at least an adult. Could still be a college student and budding girl boss living at home with strict rules, right? I’m going with that for tonight.

I can’t sleep

Edit: fuck I’m so dumb. She doesn’t even know how to kiss. I’m still hoping she’s 25, got bored, and this is part of an elaborate scheme to make me go away.

Like, as a woman, I get so tired when men are like "I can't even understand why women aren't lesbians, what do women even like in us men?" And then women go "big protector, angular features, uhh hands ✨."

Girl. Am I the only one on earth who goes feral for big beefy men when they're thick and have a big butt big thighs big pecs big biceps and that smooth large back and that solid smooth stomach, the fat betweeh the stomach and the back thats smooth and gym built?

And before you guys ask, no I'm not bi or lesbian. I don't feel anything for woman boobs or ass, I just don't (please don't assume I'm calling women ugly, obviously people who are attractive can exist in both genders, but personally they don't do it for me sorry 😭.)

Why? It's fine if others do but I don't like the uneven symmetry of the fat itself, the small back relative to the rest of the body (imo muscular men look "thicker" overall cuz all of the body is thick which I like, more mass I guess?) and the large areolas personally. And yes, I hate having to explain this each time that I'm not into them doesn't mean I'm repulsed 😭. Anywho, that was my 2 cents. I hate having to explain this each and every time but I do feel like a lot of men are badly socialized into thinking theyre totally undesirable.

I would say I’m a solid 7 and every guy I get with in my personal life is attractive, but I just got on hinge because apparently I’ve run out of places to meet guys but I get maybe 2 likes a day??? Am I that much of a personality hire??? And I’m a woman so everyone says oh hinge is where it’s at but evidently not??

How to eliminate micro expressions & just vibe ????

so i have like really bad executive dysfunction and for the life of me, cannot get myself to commit to one routine everyday whether it’s going on a nice 10 min walk or doing a little 20 min ab workout from youtube. i hate looking at myself in the mirror seeing that my stomach is flat (from a distance) but i still have so much fat holding onto my waist and belly if i sit down my love handles show. i hate how all my fat accumulates in my back and arms and thighs. like my build is petite but these areas of fat make me look big back and it just sucks. i feel like nobody talks enough about being “skinny fat” and still having a lot of insecurities because it feels like you’re on the borderline cusp of both worlds of being conventionally attractive by today’s standards, or looking like you eat ramen and drink everyday. hopefully i don’t get criticism for being HONEST!! but i also don’t care because i love being anonymous.

i always swear that if i could get my shit together and start eating healthy and committing to a substantial work out routine every week that my quality of life and skin would also improve, but instead i just sit here and complain and complain, while constantly body checking in the mirror.

as someone that had an eating disorder in my teens and dropped down to 118lbs, i felt so much more pretty and confident and stripper bod asf but i was also so unhappy and uncomfortable.

how do i do it the right way 😍 i’m going to get on adhd meds and hope that i build better habits

and it was kinda gross but it actually had some funny moments. the film centered way more on dasha than I thought it would even though she appears for the first time like 20/30 minutes in. it explicitly referenced some irl internet stuff at certain times which occasionally came off as funny but other times was kinda cringe. the titular character was lowkey boring and you could tell the film was meant to be super inflammatory all around. lots of "jews" this and "catholic" that etc. etc... There definitely is some message about internet culture and capitalism baked into it, but I think i was so taken out of any analysis because of the overstimulation of it all and the bulky ass subtitles. There was one scene where rachel is peeing in public (in an NYC subway corridor) and real ppl were walking by so that was.... interesting..... I also felt profoundly sad at other times. It was kinda depressing. I would not see it again and I'm mildly disappointed in myself for financially supporting it, but idk. There are worse evils in this world.

I never considered how ending my last relationship and doing the whole “be single, work on myself, develop better standards” thing would make dating feel impossible. It’s not like anybody I’ve tried to date has really done anything wrong they just haven’t done enough for me to actually wanna be in a relationship again. Feels like I need to enjoy my independence less if I’m ever gonna get close to somebody on that level.

Basically about two months ago I found this girl that I used to work with on Instagram for like a year until this last summer and she seemed all happy to hear from me like full on paragraphs, double texts, etc and I'm matching the energy cause shoot I'm happy to hear from her too so I responded and that was it. She didn't block me, still looks at my story and all that but just never responded and on one hand I feel really hurt but on the other I feel kinda miffed and that she's a fake ass bitch for that but if I had a third hand I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

I'm back in the dating game once again and I went on a 3rd date last night that was... ok. Not good, not bad...ok. To start off, she was over an hour late, the one thing I'm really anal about is punctuality, especially when we have reservations. I was already out, dressed, and done up, and I didn't want to waste a good fit, haircut, a skin mask, and the last of my favorite fragrance. I also had already venmoed her for her uber out, had some flowers, and I talked this date up real big to my friends so I'd be real embarassed to tell them it didn't happen, so I just waited it out.

When she finally did arrive, she was under dressed. Now idrc how a woman dresses, not my place to say, but this place had a dress code which I sent her when I made the reservations. Thankfully I had spent the last hour buttering up the hostess as I couldn't even get to the table and she let us in anyways.

Then the actual "date" went pretty good. Great conversations, a lot in common, she's super funny, all the things you'd hope out of a good date. She didn't really ask questions and I had to set up all the conversations, which is another thing I'm fine with but I do notice.

So then after the date she asks if I wanna come over, I take her back home and her home is a mess. Like she hadn't cleaned it in weeks. I'm not a neat freak but I always ensure a spotless house pre date just in case we go back to my place. Her roommates were over and we went back to her room and she suggested we watch Gone Girl. I had never seen the movie and she talked over it the entire time to explain everything to me. That is also not a movie I felt like there was ever a good time to make a move during. Then after the movie she fell asleep and I left.

So I'm left trying to question if this was a bad date or not. Nothing like THAT bad happened but it just didn't leave a good taste in my mouth. Idk if I would call it bad, just a little off. I don't want to not want to see her again but it was also a pretty poor showing on her part. idk man dating is so fuck complicated nowadays.

we had been talking on/off on an obscure sapphic shitposting app for months. we both admired each others gumption. she lives in the next city over but had finally found an excuse to be in my area. perfect. we schedule evening drinks at a local dive bar.

the first thing i noticed when i got there is that she didn’t look like her pictures. nobody really does, which is fine, but it was clear her pictures were representative of her best days and this was not one of them. i was also vaguely insulted by her outfit. i love making a lasting impression, and given the occasion i had arrived wearing leather heels, a pock marked skirt, vintage corset, a fur shawl, and full face, plus my favorite perfume. she was in leggings and washed out thigh-length dress.

okay, fine. i was being vain and superficial. but these are ideas we had bonded on so i assumed the actualization would be mutual. whatever. i sat down and tried to run through the usual gambit of first date smalltalk. as the conversation went on she began reminding me of the outwardly opinionated nerdy boys i would hang out with in high school. she seemed reluctant to divulge anything truly personal about herself - outright refusing to talk about her favorite movies despite bragging about being a film nerd. suddenly, only about 30 minutes into the date, she asks if i want to go back to my place.

at this point the creeping dread that had been building up inside me was overwhelming. “i’m not sure. i’d rather stay here for a while and talk more,” i say. she gets very quiet, then grabs her purse and excuses herself to the bathroom. she must have been gone for 10-15 minutes and the whole time i’m finishing my second drink wondering if i’ve been dashed out on. when she comes back she’s flustered and her breath smells of butyric acid. our waiter stops by the table and she closes out her tab while mumbling something about drinking too much and staying the night at a friends house, then leaves.

the next morning i see a post from her on the app lambasting scores of people who only want to fuck her but have no respect for her time or personhood. i know it’s about me, somehow. i react to it with a frowning emoji and she deletes the post. we haven’t spoken since.

i can’t help but wonder how many people she’s bedded with this approach, and what kind of vibes i was giving off to indicate i would be one of them. i must get to the root of this and pry it from myself.

i’ve known him since we were 12 and now we’re 22 and have been best friends the whole way. he’s my ride or die and i can’t imagine a life without him im so fortunate to have a person like that. we tell each other everything and i never have or ever will trust someone more. so damn lucky

29 year old art hoe lite here! I don't have kids, don't wake up before 1pm on the weekends, can't set boundaries with this guy that's been jerking me around for 9 months, have PMDD that causes homicidal ideation, have body image issues that cause suicidal ideation and spend 4 months out of the year in a state of profound melancholy.

I have passively encountered some parenting related content by osmosis and let me tell you about how I am going to exclusively breastfeed for 3 years and baby wear like a !Kung woman, get only BPA free autumn tone Montessori toys and my kids gonna be eating lamb lollipops off the bone at 6 months. I won't even look at a slice of gabagool when I'm pregnant and I will read my child 20 books a day.

am I going to die alone

One of my favorite things about him is how indecipherable he is. Where does the facade end or begin? This guy is essentially method acting ALL of the time. Or is he just being himself???

Did you guys enjoy You Can See Everything?

The royal Tenenbaums is a red scare movie

Probably schizo but I get the feeling that to be an a-lister you must first eat a baby or something like that.

Or maybe I’ve always been like this. My grandma just passed away about a year to the day my dad did. I spent most of her funeral and calling hours outside smoking cigarettes with my dad’s childhood best friend. He lamented about his loneliness, depression, how hard the loss of his best friend and parents in rapid succession have been, and how scared he is to die. He’s been divorced a couple times but is only in his 50s. His other frequent complaint is about how much he regrets not having children.

He was the only person at the services I really commiserated with, as terrible as it sounds. We drove to the cemetery together so we could smoke more. It was kind of just an excuse to talk to him more because it was weirdly comforting. I strangely enjoyed being the black sheep, puffing away while distant family members remarked they didn’t know I even smoked.

Some part of my brain started contemplating a Ghost World scenario in which I hooked up with this lonely father figure archetype. I’ve never wanted kids, but I figured he must need to date a much younger woman to fulfill his hopes of having one. Probably connected to all this is the fact that I’ve been drinking way too much and making other reckless choices. And yes, I am in therapy.