[AUDIO FILE DETECTED, PLAYING RECORDING, TRANSCRIPT COMPILED]
Alright, seems like this thing’s recording. Fuck. So, today’s, uh, day one on this “Target” planet. I... fuck, what do I even say? How do those four-eyed bastards even write their fucking reports?
Anyway, name’s [REDACTED], number, uh, “A-0000002”. They dropped me down here to grab some cargo, sooo...
They issued me a fucking AK-100. At first I was like, what the fuck? Why the hell did they give me some grandpa-era antique? And they tell me, “Be grateful you got anything at all, mutt. They could’ve sent you down there with fucking nothing.”
They gave me six mags too. I was thinking to myself, “Wait, I signed that fucking contract?”... Oh right, the contract. Basically: “Cargo. Return. Freedom.” And cash. A shitload of cash.
Lost my train of thought there. Ah yeah, gear. They gave me a brand-new jetpack with an extended fuel tank. I’ve worked with these babies before, so nothing new for me.
They gave me a last-gen smart helmet, [REDACTED]. Pretty fucking good — night vision, combat analysis, target acquisition, recording, etc. Had those too, though I’ve worked with newer ones.
An all-inclusive mini-exo. So yeah, like they didn’t send me into a cave on the “Target Planet”, but into a fucking assault op.
Like I’m gonna have to shoot somebody... Oh yeah, and if you four-eyed intellectuals can hear me: I’m not used to fighting without drones, so if anything goes wrong, feel free to write me down as Cargo 200 right away...
So what else... Oh, the small shit: MREs — they told me right away there wouldn’t be enough for the trip there and back, eat whatever the fuck you find; water purification tubes; a flashlight, in case the helmet breaks; a laser drill; a shitload of batteries and power cells.
Basically, the suit’s packed to the fucking brim. Med kit’s decent too...
So, I think I’ve covered all the starting bullshit.
The capsule was tiny. They shoved me in there like a fucking mutt in a kennel. Then again, I’d already done ten years inside — wasn’t exactly new to me.
The airlocks opened, and I smelled...
Death. Went down. At first I thought it was a Cargo 200 in black camo... Took a closer look. Nope. Some dog-like thing with a big tail ending in orange and dog-like legs.
Got closer. Yeah, no — that sure as hell wasn’t no fucking dog. The front legs looked way too much like human arms, except the claws were way too long; the back legs were like a dog’s.
Head covered in yellow blood, three fuzzy horns that I first took for ears. Didn’t feel like checking the guts — the thing stank way too much...
My helmet, by the way, flagged the corpse when I looked at the head. Gave me a report: MSN-CARGO, whatever, date, #424652 SAW-01, physical status — deceased (no shit), last mental status: “Suicidal tendencies”...
There was depth, calories, and the best part, fuck — casualties: “Unknown + 4276”...
Those four-eyed bastards didn’t tell me half the story. Apparently, I’m not the first one in this cave. Then again, maybe I’m lying — maybe I’m the first Human here...
Anyway, I’ll describe the caves later. Decided to head back to my capsule for now and record a report. That’s all, folks.
[END OF RECORDING]