I feel like this is unpopular advice, but if passing is genuinely important to you, you cannot always approach presentation the exact same way a cis woman can

A cis woman can throw on men’s jeans, a huge hoodie, no makeup, a baseball cap, and deliberately masculinize herself and still usually be read as female because people are picking up on a hundred other sexed cues. A trans woman, especially early in transition or if she’s already somewhat androgynous, may not have that same margin for error yet

And I see women get frustrated because they’re consistently being misgendered while also intentionally choosing clothes, hair, grooming, and styling that obscure virtually every feminine cue they have. At some point you have to be willing to experiment

Wear the feminine outfit. Shape your brows. Learn what makeup actually flatters your face instead of deciding “makeup doesn’t work on me” after three attempts. Try different hairstyles. Figure out your proportions. Wear jewelry. Pay attention to silhouettes. None of this means you need to become a hyperfeminine caricature of yourself, and obviously femininity is not what makes someone a woman. But presentation absolutely affects how strangers sex you

I also think, for some trans women, the “I’m just a tomboy” thing can become armor. Dressing femininely feels vulnerable because now you’re actually trying. If you try and still get misgendered, that hurts more than being able to tell yourself you weren’t trying anyway. So you retreat into oversized masculine clothes and act like caring about passing would somehow make you shallow

But you might genuinely be surprised by what happens when you give yourself permission to try.
You may think you “could never pass” when you have never actually seen yourself with flattering hair, properly applied makeup, shaped brows, clothes cut for your body, and a presentation designed to emphasize the feminine features you already have

And yes, once you consistently pass, you often have much more freedom to play with androgyny or dress like a tomboy without it changing how people perceive you. But getting there can require learning femininity first

You do not have to dress femininely. You do not have to wear makeup. You do not even have to care about passing

But if passing is something you desperately want, stop treating effort like betrayal. Experiment. Give femininity a genuine chance. You might be much closer than you think

I would like to handshake their face with a shovel.

I've recently started to transition so I've been adding more feminine clothes into my wardrobe. I'm unfamiliar with female clothe sizes, so my first non-pullover bra is giving me absolute conniptions as I try and contort myself to hook the little hooks through the even tinier eyelets. I ended up just putting the strap together and pulling it over my head like a sports bra.

at week 26 of hrt and looking for more games to play where i can feel feminine. i'm pretty isolated right now, living in a men's rehab so im scared to be openly femme here

so far ive loved stardew valley, palia, and animal crossing for domestic bliss and cyberpunk for the dating and detailed character creation. my life at sandrock looks promising

some games have gorgeous female playable characters but its not always easy to search for them on that basis

for example dune awakening is an MMO action rpg that has beautiful graphics and female playable characters. oblivion remastered,

any recommendations? i'm on switch 2

“DAMN bro what do you do for chest day” - My coworker

I’m currently wearing a sports bra with a baggy ahh shirt over top to conceal the shape but it doesn’t really get rid of the size.

Should I tell him the secret to growing his chest???

Earlier this year I (20 MTF) came to terms with the fact that I'm trans and have wanted to go on HTR ever since, focusing on losing body fat, building muscle, learning makeup and changing my appearance while taking HRT seems easier than doing it all at separate times and it feels like I'd achieve my desired appearance sooner that way, but after coming out to my parents they both think I should wait at least a year before I start even thinking about HRT in case I change my mind in that time, but I know that even if I do change my mind about being trans, I'd still never want to go back to being seen as a cis man and would still be happy with the changes HRT would've already done to my body.

so would it be wrong to start taking HTR and not tell them?

I already have a name for myself, but liking puns I came up with another…

Kandie Barr whose pronouns would be Her/She

I’ll show myself out

I recently came out to my dad as trans and he was very supportive and he even said i could get girls clothes when I was ready, and eventually I was ready and he literally went out of his way to find websites for me to look for! so Im getting this cute black dress and it’s gonna be so great I’m so excited that I can finally take my trans-ness to the next level! i cant wait to get them I’m so happy.

So, I've been out for almost six years and on hormones for two. They came out two years ago and went on hormones about a year ago.

Last night they were wearing a top that really showed off their boob growth and cleavage and they've definitely surpassed me. Which, happy for them and a bit envious. And then realizing this morning that that's probably the same sort of feeling a lot of teenage girls have when their friends are more blessed by the boob fairy.

Also haven't had that same experience for my other girl friends, cis or trans. I think it's specifically the fact that theirs have grown past mine when we're on a similar timeline that did it. Everyone else just has always had those at that size so I'll admire but this one hit differently.

Definitely one of the weirder moments of gender euphoria for me so far.

I don't know what to expect when I start taking estrogen(not any time soon), of how my face would change. When I search up MTF all I see is white MTF, however I rarely see Asians and people that have similar builds.

If there any any of yall that are around 205lbs (93kg) and 175cm (5'8) here with a chubbier face. Please up your fellow comrade.

So call me crazy but am i the only one whos noticed changes in my temp tolerances? Pre hrt I hated the heat and loved the cold. Like I used to wear jeans and a t-shirt unless there was a snowstorm. I also used to complain anytime the temp was over 60 degrees. Now its like 40 degrees out and im about to grab my winter coat. Not even to mention 90 degrees is just comfy for me now. Anyone else notice this?

I literally only just told my mum that I want to be a girl and it was literally the best case scenario, she was being super supportive and fully agrees that I deserve to be whoever I want to be, and I feel so happy now!!

Yesterday I went out to buy a razor while boymoding maybe just light sunscreen and foundation. After struggling to find them for a few minutes I asked the staff where the razors are. They went umm.. then "for men/women"? I wasn't expecting such question and answered for men is fine since my facial hair is still a bit thick (laser hair removal in progress). They guided me to the area and pointed at another shelf saying "they are for women.. just in case". Not sure if it was my appearance but I wonder if I continue HRT and get serious about dressing and voice training I could pass in the future. Although I couldn't even dream about it initially and just happy with current progress.

So for a few weeks now I've been sleeping with a cis lesbian. She seems really into me, but I still feel really guilty. I feel like a predator. I feel like a creep. I feel like I've somehow tricked her or something. Or like I'm taking advantage of her maybe.

Obviously I'm not being a creep. Obviously she's into me. Obviously I'm not doing anything wrong. I know all this but I still feel like I am. I think all the transphobia and rhetoric about us being predatory has been getting to me

I'm sure we've all various timelines for typical changes to occur, but I'm wondering what everyone's personal experience is after 3+ Years of HRT.

My personal experience after 4 years of HRT (It's my Anniversary on October 18th / Tomorrow)

- Breast growth started within a couple of months, and was quite gradual, I still find I experience some growth now but it's much slower. If I compare a photo from say 6 months ago VS now I can see a slight increase in size. I don't wear bras to correlate that, but friends seem to agree.

- Body fat distribution took a few months to start, and is gradual, but I've found it especially noticeably in my face. I get new glasses every 1-2 years and there's always a frame that suits me better than my current ones, and when I show people a photo of when I first got the old ones they say that used to suit better then but my face shape has changed so much they don't quite suit the same anymore. I've unfortunately noticed minimal difference in my butt shape, but my thighs are definitely thicker.

- Libido is a very inconsistent one, it goes up and down a lot and similar goes for erections. I've also found similar with ejaculation, probably once or twice a year it seemingly changes in volume, consistency etc despite good hormone levels.

- Skin changes - Very obvious within just a few months and generally my skin is very soft, but is more prone to drying out and I get razor cuts more.

- Hair Growth, everywhere grows slower and less thick, with a couple of patches where it doesn't seem to grow at all now like my thighs. Irritatingly that has made IPL more difficult because there's not as much pigment in my hairs now so I've ended up with patchy results.

What am I looking for in my first few bras?

I started E about two months ago and my nipples are ridiculously tender. I've got Pasties in my cart, and I already own some compression shirts, but I want to be somewhat prepared. Like, I assume I'm not looking for anything with cups right away.

The names of the cut of bra, and specific product recommendations are all great.

Thanks

The first 6 months felt like feeling sun on your skin after a never ending winter, the last 6 months have felt like absolute plateau with no change. I’ve tried so hard. I’ve gotten good at makeup and dressing myself, I’ve grown my hair out and take care of it. I have a skincare routine that I do every day. But every time I look in that mirror I see the same fucking person I was before. Yeah I look a little different for sure, but I don’t pass, not even fucking close. My chest seems to have stopped growing, and my figure refuses to change, my hips are marginally wider and my ass is bigger and maybe I’ve had some fat redistribution in my face, but every time I see myself all I can focus on are the ugly parts. My double chin, my flared ribs, my shoulders, my stomach fat that refuses to leave no matter how little I eat.

Like yes, has my life improved in some ways? Absolutely. But it hasn’t changed the way I see myself. It feels like people can say I’m pretty or say that “oh all you need to do to pass is voice train and improve your mannerisms” but like deep down my brain is just screaming that it’s lies and cope. I want to be pretty, I want to be seen as a woman and surprise them when they find out I’m trans, not the fact that they see me and go “oh a transgender” and then tiptoe around me like I’m liable to fucking go crazy at any moment. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here, I just need honest opinions from people who aren’t worried about how it’ll affect my self image. It’s already rock bottom anyway, so it’s not like it can get worse right?

I’m supposed to start prog soon, and I’m waiting on bloodwork to come back but like, if this is how I’m gonna be stuck forever do I just have to accept that I’m always going to be clocky? I know people will say not to care and to just be yourself but at the end of the day what am I supposed to do with that other than just let it consume me alive.

This afternoon I had a sexual dream and woke up with a clit erection. It had some dull pain but with clearly sexual sensation. I distracted myself and it went away in about a minute and everything was normal again.

Wowowowow I could feel it, it was clearly a clit, not a phantom dick!!! I have pussy!!! I'm a girl!!!!

Can't wait for 3 months later when I can have sex

How do you start? What do you need to do? How do you do it? How should it 'feel'. What should i expect? What will progress look like?

Couldn't really think of an appropriate flair for this but I guess euphoria fits the most. I'm about 3 hours out from Virginia after driving about 14 hours from Texas. My boyfriend has been handling the driving because I would literally never be able to do this for a multitude of reasons.

We've made several stops (including my first visit to Buc-ee's) for gas, food, etc and to use the bathroom. Our most recent stop was at a rest area at the edge of Tennessee and I had been holding it in for a good several hours because there was no way I was using one of the bathrooms there despite how wonderful they apparently are; it was just way too packed.

So I let my boyfriend go in first and waited until he came out, but guy after guy kept going in and I'm one of those weirdos that can't really use the bathroom if someone else is there. But it was already getting dark and I'm terrified of us driving at night and I noticed no one had gone into the women's bathroom, my boyfriend could tell I was looking over there and told me I was fine to go in there. I hesitated for as long as I could but I couldn't take it any longer and said "f*ck it" and went in.

Thankfully no one else was in there and it was indeed a bathroom, nothing glamorous or out of the ordinary... even still my heart couldn't stop racing so almost as soon as I entered and went I washed my hands and didn't even bother drying them.

It was only a couple of minutes but it was still incredibly unnerving and I'm not sure if I should have even done so in the first place or the next time I'll do it again, if ever. I don't think I pass, even with makeup on, and I believe if someone would have walked in on me in there it would have gotten ugly. But I did it; for the first time in my life I used the women's bathroom.

They talk about what they wanna do to me but don’t ask questions like my hobbies or what I’m good at. It’s not like they keep it modest either. Just straight up vulgar comment. Just straight up only interested in when I’m free. I wanna be treated like a lady not a joy toy.