I'm doing grad school and transition simultaneously because there's something wrong with me and I'm currently trying to work on an assignment that involves watching myself on video over and over again and I knew it would be bad but it's so bad. My voice has always been fraught for me, even before I knew I was trans or before I knew I wanted to transition. It's really high. Even after almost three months on T it's really high. I mostly try not to think about how other people see me because it's really easy for me to go crazy about it, but now I have to hear my voice over and over and I can't stop thinking about how every time I talk that's what people hear. How could I expect anyone to hear my voice and see me as anything other than a woman. I never want to speak again. I know my voice will probably get lower at some point and if not there's voice training and whatever but that doesn't do anything for me right now. I've been procrastinating on this assignment for two weeks because I knew it would really upset me and so now I have made myself a horrible mess out of timelines and dysphoria and misery and it's making me want to drop out of school.

Edit: okay everyone it's done. Thank you all for your help it was really helpful and I feel a lot less crazy and less alone. If I pull off a c+ I will be thrilled.

After 20 years of silence, I finally started transitioning this year. I transitioned in my personal life, and gradually started making changes in my professional life. I started voice training, changing wardrobe, those kinds of things. At this point, my voice has gone through the dead frog stage and has comfortably entered the territory of a young/gay male. I pass about 30% of the time and leave people guessing another 30%. My coworkers are confused but it won't last forever. Just an awkward year or so and life goes on.

Last week I filed for my name change. Today, I have my hormone consult to hopefully start T and discuss other options for medically transitioning.

I didn't sleep hardly at all last night. I always wanted to do this but never believed I would have the chance.

It is never easy to transition but being middle age presents its own challenges. And rewards. My husband of many years supports me. I have the support of the local LGBT community as well. I'm looking forward to the next 20-30 years living life on my own terms as the person I truly am inside.

Hey y’all, first post on here, I’m 30 and been on testosterone for four almost five years and overall I’m much happier, I feel comfortable with myself and my body, and my life as a whole has really improved.

That being said, recently I’ve been really struggling with my gender/sexuality. I’ve pretty much always identified as bisexual, with a romantic preference for women, and I have a wonderful girlfriend of 3 years that I love and adore, but I’ve started to feel really insecure and dysphoric in our relationship. I’ve been feeling more comfortable with the feminine aspects of myself and wanting to embrace that more, maybe even exploring gender fluidity, but because I look more masculine (passing, muscles and beard) a lot of people think I’m a gay man, especially when I act or present more feminine.

I feel like in my relationship with my partner and women in general I have felt I have to fulfill a really strict masculine role, and I’m too dysphoric to let my partner treat me more feminine because then I get anxious about being viewed as less of a man and that I’m a disappointment as a boyfriend. I know most of that is my own projection of things on myself, but it’s made me physically withdrawn from my girlfriend and I don’t know what to do about it. With men I feel comfortable acting both masculine and feminine without worrying about whether they’re still attracted to me, but I really struggle to feel that way with women and it’s very frustrating. I have a great therapist but I was really wanting the input of other gender queer people

Has anyone here ever struggled with deconstructing gender roles in their life and how that relates to physical dysphoria post transition? And especially how that relates to their romantic relationships? Any advice would be appreciated or even just knowing I’m not alone. I want to learn how to be more comfortable with myself and in my relationship

Hey! Has anyone here been prescribed Winlevi for their acne? My dermatologist assured me that it shouldn’t reverse the effects of T since it’s not absorbed into the bloodstream as long as I use a pea size. If you’re on Winlevi could you let me know if it’s true? I’ve updated my doctor as well and they mentioned that there is some systemic absorption but it metabolises very quickly therefore it shouldn’t cause any demasculinisation.

3.5 years ago, I was 4 months or so into weight gain after leaving AMA from one of the highest levels of care for ED in my country. I remember thinking I looked super strong in that top photo because I had put on weight. Age 37.

Now I can’t fathom that I ever could withstand the pain of being so emaciated. Age 40.

I have no idea what age people think i am. Prior to T i was always aged 15 years younger than i was……. Now i have no clue

Just wanted to use this selfie Sunday to share how far I’ve come since last year. 😊 I’m now 2 months on T and am starting to see some effects of it on my body in terms of muscle, too. I‘m still glad I built a solid base before starting T though.

Both cis-men and cis-women are "visual creatures", however, on average, cis-women will often need a kind of emotional connection in addition to physical attraction whereas cis-men very often don't and would gladly sleep with a girl whose character they don't particularly like.
I was wondering if, in addition to culture, this may not stem from testosteron as friends of mine who transitioned from FTM told me that they're now much more likely to want to have sex without emotional bonds.

I am losing hope about ever being able to be on hormones or afford surgery. I am from the lower middle class, homeless with many imparting mental disorders and learning disabilities. The most I have ever had in savings when I worked a high paying job was $3000 after working the job 3 months. Unfortunately keeping a job is extremely difficult and there is no affordable insurance at the moment, but fortunately a partner with a car currently living the same conditions just without being trans. Most days in order for me to cope I try to as AFAB transmasc Androgyne, tap into my feminine side even though I am definitely more masc. I don't know how much time left I have in this world, but for those that believe in next lifetimes, perhaps ill have luck in the next lifetime to reach my goals ❤️

I'm 47" 42" breast and under bust, 59" height, but here's the thing, my chest was a DDD before starting t a few years back. Binders that are SUPPOSED to fit me in this size category, 4x-5x for most reputable companies, well they are altogether far too big for me. I don't experience compression.

I'm quickly losing weight, finally, and I'm down 20 lbs since early August. So now I'm facing a new problem where binders that compress and support enough have such tiny chests. They are not built for people like me with enormous breasts. They compress to the front, it's true, but everything comes spilling out from the sides and I get a massive ball of adipose tumor in front of my armpits. Binders that compress and support me are missing about 4-6 inches of fabric around the side to hug my body.

I'm out of options here. Fluxion binders that fit are too narrow. I have some tape but I don't see how I can put tape on while I'm binding. Tape also does not hold as I have a substantial amount of weight and mass so it cannot be a solo endeavor. I've tried so many times to make it work.

I feel rather lost. I'm in a category of feminine envy that puts my masculine self at a disproportionate disadvantage to adequate gender affirming care.

The attached picture demonstrates a 3x binder that is too large for me. You can see the formation of the armpit tumor taking hold. It's too large as typical day to day activities cause me to slip down and out. Just going shopping for groceries warrants adjustment. Going down to a 2x will most likely compress enough, but the chest will become more narrow in the process and cause more adipose to spill out the side like my sport binder that I don't have a picture of on me right now, but know that I keep slipping UPWARDS while working out because the chest is so narrow.

I feel like a total freak because of this. If there are solutions out there for me, especially with how quickly I'm losing weight, I can't find them. I just want people to look at my face, call me sir on assumption, not look at my chest and height and call me ma'am, even if both are incorrect I present masculine and would rather that assumption be made as it's the thing I put so much effort into only for it to be completely shat upon by my GIGANTIC chest. I can't splurge on a custom binder if such a thing exists, I'd need to be in person with the tailor to get a good fit, unless they're willing to do free revisions as I keep losing weight.

I feel like a whacky experiment without someone to provide support.

Ft me and ms bellatrix

I’m 27 but I participate in this group often so what’s a few years right? 7.5 years on T this month ♥️ reppin the fem boys yerrr

A bit too tuckered out to do too big of a life update today.

I've been working on flipping my sleep schedule from early mornings to nights since Wednesday.

I start my new job tomorrow! Same type of job (janitorial), just a different company with better hours (10 hrs/day, 4 day work week) and better pay. I'll be working from 4:30pm to 3am (thus all the sleep training I've done this weekend). Though I have to go in at 9am Monday and Tuesday for training. X.x

I went back to my old barber after going to great clips for awhile. I was avoiding my old neighborhood due to my old neighbors threatening me so badly I had to move late 2024 (it's a whole thing), but apparently my barber moved to a new location so I was able to go back!

Good vibes for Romie, pls. She has to go to the vet this Friday. Just for updated vaccinations/annual check up. But she gets really stressed out on car rides so it's never a good time...

Hubby took me shopping because I have no gender neutral/masculine warm weather clothes... since my egg cracked this spring he has been sort of guiding me, the most fun of which being that all the sudden after 16 years of being together he wants to dress me and picks out clothes for me ❤️

Some very fun neo-folkloristic madness going on in Belgium.

Finally enjoying some more fall weather so I can bust out the hoodies!

Sorry I posted a selfie on the wrong day. But here it is on the right day. I'll be 32 in December. Been on T since 2022 so 4 years. I know my facial hair needs work but I'm upping my dose of T to 0.5 in the following weeks since my new doc says my original dose of 0.3 was odd.

I am really happy that I finally find one that match me and don’t need to worry too much for going to the men’s room. I got heimori STP one this week and it is absolutely stunning with all the details it had and very easy to use for my anatomy. It has a very broad no-spill lips, I didn’t even leak by the first time using it. I was thinking about posting my review more focus on how it helps me with my dysphoria in [r/transmascdick](r/transmascdick) but people there seems to more likely focus on how the packer works and how’s the function. Anyway, congratulations to myself and as someone who might never be able to have surgery, this is the best I could find to reduce a bit of my dysphoria. And the best birthday gift ever.

Hey everyone! I turned 29 today. It was a terrible first "out as trans" pride but I'm trying to remain positive. I think I managed to get some lovely photos. I spotted three open transmascs in a crowd of thousands of people, so I'm a little bit dejected. But that's my country for you.

I'd like to think I learned a lot from this experience. And that I didn't look too bad doing it, considering we marched 3km.

Hi, i wondered if anyone can help ease my anxiety? Not sure where else to go.

I'm AFAB but on the gender 'spectrum' somewhere. I had top surgery which I love and dont regret. I couldnt decide on low dose T for ages as some affects i wanted but others i didnt, but finally i took the plunge and thought id go super slow and 'see'. Luckily it has only been 17 days and I was so low and also sometimes skipping a day. But its made me realise perhaps some of my dysphoria was more body dysmorphia? Im not sure. As ive started seeing 'changes'i love (face changing and body) but aparently way too early?! And no one else can see the change. Im also TERRIFIED of hair loss. Like another level. I already have ocd and ive been taken 200+ photos a day, staring at my hairline, talking to chat gpt. Intense anxiety crying etc. Can anyone help calm me please? Have i done irreversible damage to my hair, to my natueal hormone structure? Or will i be ok? Sorry if this seems lame as its only been 17 days and not even everyday. 10mg tostran. I tool it for 4 days back in july aswell. Please help. Thank you.