Please don’t ask me to go for therapy because I tried and it didn’t help. it’s expensive and paying all that money didn’t help me at all.

Something has broken inside me. All I constantly feel is anger and sadness. My brain is in conflict. A part of it wants to move on but a part of it has given up on anything and I feel that I’m physically unable to move on. I have lost my routine, my happiness, my energy, everything. I used to workout so actively but I can’t even get myself to walk anymore. It’s been a week and I haven’t even left my apartment. I have nobody to turn to. There’s nobody in my life who I’d go to and talk to because it’s exhausting to make them understand and they’ve disappointed me. I can’t even get myself to brush my teeth in the morning. I am that exhausted. All I do is either cry or distract myself by doomscrolling.

I am not su!c!d@l but a part of me has started to think that I’m just a passerby passing through this life and whatever is happening, it’s not happening to me, I just have to pass through until I d!£.

What is it that I can do? What is it that is in my control. Actions which I can physically take to get my life back? Will I ever be happy again? Will I ever be normal again? What should I do so that I stop crying and start living like how I used to?

Hopefully this isn’t too long but if it is I apologize in advance. I’m 21 and usually before the new year I like to shake off any bad lingering memories, habits, thoughts, etc! I want to go into the new year with confidence and less stress. I’m in therapy, I’m in college, I have a good social circle around me, I journal from time to time, I’m off social media most of the time. (only go on to promote my artwork and then leave) and I try to keep a healthy lifestyle.

But other than those things, unfortunately I’m still struggling with my worth. There are some days where I’m confident and there are some days where I fake it to make it. When I was high school, I was sa’d freshman year, and it seemed like everyone around me didn’t take what I went through seriously. It got even worse when another woman in my family told me that what happened to me was good because it means boys think I’m pretty. I was 14 and I swear I think this really changed my brain in such a bad way. It’s crazy because I was really secure with myself before it happened. It really did change how I felt about my body.

Later on I thought my worth was tied to my body and men would only be attracted to me for my body, and this is where I struggled the hardest. At 19 was really a dark era because I remember I had a mental breakdown about feeling like I wasn’t thick enough. I didn’t like my toned arms. I don’t have a full bust and butt. It was a horrible time and I kept on weighing myself everyday because I was trying to gain weight during that time. It was so bad and I realized I think I was only trying to gain weight for male validation and not because I wanted to. Even when I was trying to put myself out in the dating scene, I always keep questioning the man’s intentions. Wondering if he actually likes me or does he want my body. Sometimes it’s not always the case but unfortunately my mind gets in the way.

Fast forward to now, it’s usually a battle with my body. one day I love it and the next I don’t. But I am however starting to love my stretch marks, my curves, and my toned arms. :) I’m feeling a bit more confident about my chest especially since I’ve found out what my actual bra size is. I was 34 C before and I found out I’m a 32D. So theres been progress. I also stopped with the gaining weight thing because it can be mentally taxing. When I go to the gym, I remind myself that I’m only going to stay fit and healthy for myself. I shouldn’t treat my body like an aesthetic or object.

I want to try to release this mentality. Thankfully, I’m not all for male validation and I tend to focus on myself through hobbies, gym, etc. and to pour into platonic and family relationships more. But I wanna pour more love into myself. I was thinking of drawing body portraits of myself to remind myself that this is what my body actually looks like and not the one in my head.

I know one day I’ll be happy with myself and that “boys think I’m pretty“ comment will leave my mind eventually but I feel like it’s still there. Any tips on how I can avoid internalizing this? I really want to go into the new year with better self-esteem or just in general. Thank you <3

No okay so this is actually embarrassing but ever since middle school people would talk to other people on Snapchat and just add a bunch of people from quick add. Making new friends and situationships and whatever yknow. I gotta be neurodivergent because I just never understood HOW TO or like how to socially do this(?)

If I add someone back do I message first? If I quick add someone do I message first or do I wait for them to?? Do I hit them with a “hey what’s up :)” Or do I send a “snap” with hi. Do you text or send a picture… then there is all those TikTok’s that’s are like if she sends you a snap like this it means this… WHAT.

If I send a picture I’m i now suppose to send streaks? I don’t GET ITTT

And I thought it would go away but I’m 20 and everyone is STILL USING SNAPCHAT and talking to people on there. I’m curious but like genuinely what do you SAY how do you STARTTT 😭

Ik this is so dumb but it’s been eating at me for years someone spell it out for me 💀

Im messy, my room is messy but i want to change and become a type a person. I want to have a neat room and stuff. I do have waves of energy to clean my room but thats like once or twice a month then it all just comes crashing down again.

Has anyone ever successfully changed from being a messy unorganised person into like a cleaner and more organised person?

I feel like the older I get, the worse I look when people take photos of me. I think I’m generally pretty awkward in front of a camera. I never know how to stand, where to put my arms, how to smile, if I should squint my eyes or have them opened more, if my eyebrows should be raised, etc.

I have a pretty disproportionate face/jaw, and my right eye squints more than the other. I try to correct this when my photo is being taken but I’m usually unsuccessful. I also seem to have round cheeks, so when I smile for photos I feel like my entire face just looks bad.

I’m including photos of myself and would love some feedback from people who don’t know me. The outdoor photo I’d definitely consider to be a bad photo of me. The indoor one is meh. I’m not smiling with my teeth in these photos but often do. I was trying to make my eye not squint as much in both of these photos but I think I’m doing myself a disservice.

I also want to add that I seem to take much better photos on a front facing camera, but I’m guessing it’s because I can see myself and try to get a decent angle.

Any advice or opinions on how I can look less awkward or advice on my general appearance are greatly appreciated.

I’m turning 24 soon, and although I’m very young - I don’t feel a zest for life anymore.

I used to be vibrant and energetic. I hate to say that dating and school have taken a lot out of me. Constant rejections and having to piece the puzzles together has left me exhausted. I haven’t felt good about myself since my last relationship ended.

I’ve tried filling my free time with hobbies, fitness, and seeing friends, but they’re sort of just things I “do” if that makes sense. It doesn’t necessarily ignite me or give me that pump of motivation.

I would like to see a therapist but cannot afford it, nor can my previous therapist accommodate my schedule. How did you get your spark back?

Hi! I am wondering what are your go-to products and brands? I’m making a box of period products for my band’s percussion section, and I was wondering what would be a good fit in it! I’m going to keep a notepad in there for people to request different items for sure. Let me know!

hello! i've been struggling a bit these past few months, i've gained weight pretty fast for no particular reason, and i've been having a hard time being okay with it and going a size up. well – more so, my family has been having a hard time with it and making inappropriate comments, which then made me feel self-conscious.

for context, i'm 22, 152cm tall (around 5ft), and 58kgs. i've been on the pill for two years but only started experiencing weight gain since february, when i haven't changed anything in my diet or habits. i've been to the doctor, had some blood work done and to them, i'm perfectly healthy except that i need to be careful with sweets and greasy foods. but all is well hormonal wise! which is why i'm so surprised.

last december, i was around 47kgs. has anyone experienced this? i've been trying to feel better with my body, but since i'm short, i seem chubbier than i am and all the fat shows in my belly and my thighs.

i've been having a hard time finding jeans that fit me well in those areas, and my mom has been making comments such as "you've gained weight. be careful." she's very self conscious herself and has a hard time going sizes up if needed, so i guess i'm earning this from her, lol. thanks!

I am a passionate consumer of True Crime/ and related content. Consequently, it has me out here wondering how the heck can anyone be trusted these days? Even your own family members or people you have known for years can turn out to not be who you thought they were. 

And yes i know the adage, "meet in a public place" and all the basic stranger danger tips. My point is, one you get past maybe the 2-3 month mark and you guys are an item/ maybe even going exclusive you still dont truly know them. You know what they are showing you.

I dont know. 

Perhaps this is something i need to work out through therapy. However, how can you truly trust a random man you know nothing about from these dating sites? You know nothing of their criminal past. You have no information about them other than probably a first name, so no background checks. You could be going out with a complete con-artist or even somebody with dangerous intentions for you further down the line and you would never know. You could be eating ice cream with the next Jeffrey Dahmer. 

I digress.

I am by nature an overthinker, and adding trust issues into the mix, It is making dating very difficult for me. I want to find a way to be more comfortable and taking a chance without worrying of these things, but there is always a chance it seems no matter how good a person seems.

Hello ladies! As we all know, being a woman out on the market for a car is tricky business. I'm 29F and always had my dad and brother drive me around (before they sold the car), or I just took a cab. Well, now that I have my own place, I'm looking at getting my license (in about 3 months) and then buying either a new or used car.

I would like to ask the ladies here what I should know and keep in mind when making the purchase. I will, of course, ask my dad for his input as well, as he lives about 1.5 hours from me now. Another thing to note is that I live in South America, so this will not apply to USA standards, but hopefully the advice is general enough that it'll help!

I'm really excited about this, and if anyone needs more information for clearer advice, I'm happy to provide.

Thank you so much, community!

Its a gold ear stud. Idk what this one is called but I have attached a photo of the same (swipe please). I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow and this bish is troubling me. How am I supposed to make a grip with my small nails and hold it properly and pull it apart?!

I’ve been using Drip because it keeps everything on-device and it’s open source. Problem is logging period and symptoms takes too many taps and the layout isn’t very intuitive, plus it’s been crashing repeatedly lately, and I’ve already tried the usual fixes.

Any recommendations for a good privacy-first period tracking app on Android? Thanks!

Hey, I’m 24F. I have a problem that I feel like I’ve had ever since I started dating men as a teenager.

I know it sounds really messed up, and I’m incredibly ashamed to admit it. But, I struggle with making friends with other women because I feel an intense amount of jealousy and resentment over them.

Every time I date a guy, the other women in his life immediately become a huge threat that I can’t stop thinking about. Even if they’re just friends, my brain always goes there.

I can cognitively tell myself that this person likes me, if they wanted to leave me for another girl they would, that I have my own unique qualities and I don’t need to become someone else to be loved.

But even when my self esteem is at its highest, or my relationship with a guy is extremely safe and secure, it’s like my brain makes up reasons to be jealous of another woman (ANY woman that’s around them & not family, really).

I hate this part of myself. I want to make friends with women. But when I do, I always compare myself to them. Then I act super avoidant with them, and who wants to be friends with someone like that?

I want to have a healthy mindset about other women. All of this goes against so many of my morals; I believe women are so much more than just romantic competition or someone to compare myself to.

But even when I push the feelings down or try my best to work on them, I still feel a massive amount of pain when I meet, talk to/about, interact with a woman that I’m insecure about. Therapy isn’t helping much, either.

It’s so hard and I just want to stop feeling this way. I can’t talk myself out of it. What do I do? Can anyone relate, or have any tips for when I feel this way?

EDIT: I made a comment stating that I fundamentally distrust women and people are starting to say that I misrepresented what the issue is.

So I wanted to add here that I believe the reason why I distrust women is because of the fact that I view them as romantic competition. That’s why I didn’t feel the need to exactly say “I fundamentally distrust women” in my post, as I thought it was implied. But, I’m sorry for misrepresenting things.

Also, please. I’m trying to change. I don’t need more shame. I promise, I’m already doing enough of that to myself.

Girls!! Please help me out. I bloat everytime after I have food, be it a drink or even a light snack and water. I know its not possible for the stomach to remain flat after eating but I just don't want it blow up like a balloon all the time😭. I have also noticed that after getting bloated at night from dinner, my stomach goes back to being flat in the morning. So please do share some tips or tricks that can help in minimising bloating.

17F here...

How must I buy a menstrual cup? I've been using pads since the very first time I got my periods at the age of 11. I want to switch to cups because:

First, Im sick of managing pads.

Second, pads are costly.

Third, could help environment, I guess?

Fourth, yeah...I want to.

But also Im hella scared. What if it goes too far in and I'm unable to reach it? How must I insert it and take it out? What brands are trustworthy?

And, if you could share how your first experience went in comparisom to how it's going on now...

If there are any unexpected things I might come across that I may not be considering right now?

I’ve never been out on halloween before (F21) and this girl I recently met asked if I want to go with her. It sounds really fun and I love the idea of dressing up but my sister (older and protective lol) has really scared me.

I know there’s always a risk with clubbing, especially in busy cities with big nightlife scenes (where I’ll be going) and I’m always very cautious when I’m out. My sister said people are extra crazy and the chances of something happening to me are a lot higher, to the point I should consider not going. I can’t tell if she’s being a protective sister or if this is something I need to consider not going because of. There’s always a risk and I don’t want that to stop me from living my life but I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore/if halloween really is that unsafe a time to go out. Especially as we are only 2 and I don’t know her well enough yet.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Tonight i, 20f, walked past a coworker and i heard her mutter something under her breath to her friend that was basically referred to me and it was weird because they almost kept whispering to each other and it’s like i don’t have concrete proof that it was about me but at the same time it seemed like it was and it made me feel hella weird and like awkward? I know i’m not gonna be everybody’s cup of tea but it kind of sucked.

I know that working with mostly teenagers unfortunately comes with workplace drama like all the time but I don’t really do anything wrong or say anything bad about anyone. I don’t really talk to anyone except maybe two people? But anyways, I need tips and advice on how I should navigate these situations because I know this isn’t gonna be the first time sadly.

My boyfriend likes to kiss me around my ears but i’m always so conscious because whenever I take my earrings out they smell like stinky cheese and I shower regularly and wash my ears as well but I live in a hot area and do sweat a lot and i’m wondering how i can like get in and around the earring, ear lobe area and make sure it doesn’t smell bad and is clean

This is going to sound so dumb, but I bought my first actual tool kit a few weeks ago.
Nothing fancy. It was like $35 and came with a hammer, screwdrivers, pliers, a tape measure, some hex keys, all the basic stuff I probably should have owned years ago.
I mostly bought it because one of my kitchen cabinet doors had been hanging crooked forever. Every time I opened it, it made this annoying little click and scraped the cabinet underneath. I kept telling myself I'd ask my dad the next time he visited, or maybe ask maintenance, even though it was obviously not an emergency.
Then one night I got irritated enough to look at the hinge properly. It was literally two loose screws.
That's it.
I tightened them, adjusted the hinge a little, closed the door, and it lined up perfectly. I just stood there opening and closing the cabinet like an idiot because I couldn't believe I'd been living with that stupid thing for months.
And then I got weirdly emotional about it.
Not because of the cabinet. Because I realized how many tiny things I've spent my whole adult life assuming I couldn't do.
Hang a shelf? Ask my dad.
Something rattling under the sink? Wait until somebody more "handy" looks at it. Need to measure for furniture? Somehow I used to act like even that required expertise.
Nobody explicitly told me women can't fix things, obviously. But growing up, my dad handled repairs and my mom handled basically everything else, so I think I absorbed this idea that tools belonged to some category of knowledge I just didn't have.
Since buying the kit I've fixed the cabinet, tightened a loose chair, replaced a drawer handle, and put up two hooks without calling anyone.
None of this is impressive. That's kind of the point.
I think what got me was realizing I wasn't incapable, I was just inexperienced, and I'd somehow been treating those as the same thing for years.
Now I keep finding little things around my apartment and thinking, wait, I can probably just try fixing that first.
The cabinet door still makes me stupidly happy every time I open it

I was cleaning out some t-shirts lately and noticed some of my shirts had these tiny black dots on them. I read online that sometimes a vinegar soak then washing them could help, but unfortunately it didn’t.. to tshirt heaven they go. But what can I do in the future to prevent this? I don’t usually get very sweaty or leave them in wet environments so I’m not sure why this happened. Thank you!!

So frustrating!!!

I'm a trans woman and I guess I was basically the opposite of comphet for a while? And now I'm dating men and I just have no idea how to open conversations on the apps and get to the point of a first date with them. I feel like once I've gotten to that point I do a lot better in person and it's back to the normal issues with dating in this day and age for the most part.

I also am wondering if I should do my bio differently bc with women I always had it purely just normal, nice pictures and actual info/prompt responses and I felt like that lead to a lot of good connections, but with men it feels like they don't engage with that as much. Do I just need to have all of the pictures be super dressed up and/or hot? Or am I just taking too long to show interest in meeting up or something?

I can accept that I'm trans and have high standards for a partner so it's going to take a lot of wading to find someone, but I feel like I'm actually missing a step or something I could do differently here.

So basically I went to all girls schools throughout middle and high school and I never really had any male friends growing up. Even when I did, they were usually gay, so I never really got used to interacting with straight guys.

Now that I'm in business school, there are actually way more guys than girls and I have to communicate with them pretty much every time we have group work. The prob is that I get nervous and anxious without even realizing it. I end up holding myself back and not saying things I actually want to say, even when I have ideas or opinions that I want to share.

What's frustrating is that even when there are some girls in the group, I still feel nervous. It's not necessarily that I'm scared of guys or that I think they're all judging me. I just feel awkward and over conscious of myself around them, and I hate that it affects too much how I act.

The worst part is that there are genuinely a lot of nice guys at my school and I'd actually like to get to know some of them and become friends. But I feel like I'm missing out on opportunities to connect with people simply because I get so awkward and nervous around them and it's frustrating because they're really nice but my body just makes me feel frozen around them or uncomfortable.

How do I get more comfortable interacting with guys? I really do want to stop overthinking everything and just be myself around them but I don't know how to get there.

especially if you work remotely. (32f) all tips welcome! bumble bff hasn’t really panned out so far.