I have chronic migraines and had status migrainous I got put on a medrol dosepack for. which is a steroid that is mostly cortisol hormones

Well anyway I was on a six day taper schedule and the whole six days I was on it my cats behavior shifted

my cat himself didn't shift but it was confusing me so much. he's already a clingy lap cat but he suddenly became EXTRA clingy. he's usually lazy and mellow but he suddenly had more energy, was sleeping slightly less, was on alert more often, especially at night. And I was kept up all night because of the insomnia side effects. he was up and alert all night too.

And he was staring me down with wide eyes all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

and he is NOT a very talkative cat he rarely meows. but he was suddenly meowing multiple times a day and always in some kind of conversational manner at me. like he'd meow back when I spoke to him or meow at me while he was staring me up and down for no apparent reason

I was getting really confused by his sudden behavioral shifts

but now I've finished the course and am off the steriods again and now suddenly my cat has calmed down again, he is acting completely normal again

and now it's finally clicked that he was probably reacting to me on the meds because cats and dogs are super sensitive to huge hormonal shifts like that... it reminded me of a lot of videos I've seen and stories I've of heard of how people said their cats and dogs suddenly began acting toward them right before or as they found out they were pregnant. The sudden clinginess (extra clinginess in my cats case) the suddenly staring them down the sudden talkativeness.

except I can't be pregnant because I've never been sexually active. but I'm still was huge sudden hormonal shift from the meds and he returned to normal as soon as I stopped the meds

so my cat was reacting to my hormonal change all of a sudden

I wonder if I smelled different all of a sudden or something and he was like "you look like you and sound like you but you don't smell like you"

I'm 17F and I've noticed something about myself that I don't understand, and I'm wondering if anyone else relates.

Every time someone tells me they care about me, I feel physically nauseous. It's not that I don't believe them it's like my body reacts before I can even think about it. Sometimes I even get a little adrenaline rush, kind of like the jumpscare feeling you get in a horror movie. It's uncomfortable and I don't know why it happens.

Some example:

• In cooking class, I never ate because of my social anxiety, and my teacher got worried and talked to my parents. The thought of someone caring enough to worry about me made me feel sick.

• A month ago I reposted something about hating myself, and a coworker my age commented "don't be so harsh on yourself, you're a good person." It made me feel so weird that I didn't even want to talk to him anymore.

I don't understand why kindness makes me feel like this. Is this something other people experience? Does it have a name?

Im 39 years old and at this point everything feels so pointless, the only thing that brings me any happiness is my little nephew. I hang on to life out of spite mostly at this point and just the fact that i still have some family that loves me.

I cant bring myself to love myself though and outside of my family ive never felt loved be it by a close friend or a partner. I thought I did once but it turned out I was just entertainment until she moved to the real deal, now shes having her first kid with the guy that apparently was better than I was.

I drag myself to work with no drive, just moving automatically. I hate my job but with my inability to get math despite trying so many times im basically trapped in soulless production jobs that have no ability to offer any sort of fulfillment. I was told as a child in school by my teachers I would never amount to anything but atleast the world always needs grunts and unfortunately they've been all too right.

Everything just seems so pointless, seeing the misery the rich and powerful dump down on us from above on top of all these other personal issues makes everything seem so useless. Ill be trapped in a capitalist nightmare until I fall over dead.

life happened. Before I learned that people can leave, that happiness can be temporary, and that you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Nothing really changed overnight. I just slowly stopped getting excited about little things, stopped telling people when I was hurting, and got better at pretending I was okay. The scary part is that nobody notices. You still laugh, make jokes, and go about your day. But deep down, sometimes you just wish you could go back to being the version of yourself who hadn’t learned to expect disappointment. I wonder if that person is still somewhere inside me, or if I’ve lost him for good.

No Jan, that’s just the sound of me holding in my farts. Thank you for bringing it to everyone’s attention.

Hello, Chat!
Tomorrow is Sunday, which means I have to go to school.
I have so many tough assignments, but I actually managed to finish them.
On top of that, I’ve been feeling really disappointed today.
It’s exhausting me.
I think it’s because I forced myself not to talk to people much.
Or maybe I simply don’t fit in with them.

All right here we go. Gonna explain my ADHD type line of thinking.

So Ninja Sex Party released a song called Going on a Date which is a pretty hilarious song. I love it. The more I listen to it the more I can hear some pop punk/emo elements e.g. Front Bottoms/Remo Drive. Like if Danny was more harsh with his voice and in the hands of an emo producer it could definitely work.

Then I thought about the Front Bottoms and how I used to be really into then and this morning at the gym I put on Flashlight (which is an amazing song) and when looked up the song title on Spotify, the app also recommended Parliament's Flashlight which is an equally awesome song for different reasons. Two songs, diametrically opposed in tone and lyrics, using the same song for different metaphors.

And that's always wild to me. Because I can either be so bad in my feelings and listen to one of the seminal 2010s pop punk outfits or I can get funky funky funky and get down to some p-funk.

So that's where I'm at today. Tune in next time when I explore the similarities between Michael McDonald's and Patrick Stump's voices which will probably be a bit controversial depending how much of an edge lord you might be. But don't be like that the Doobie Brothers and Fall Out Boy are equally awesome.

I’ve been trying my best to help people and the community around me, I try talking to different people and friends and family. But for some weird reason I can’t accept one day it’ll end.

I’m not that bad of a person either but I feel it keeps me from making relationships or in general
Making long term friends, but it’s getting to a point I may not really care anymore at all.

Not in a differnt way but I feel empty, I’m part of a representative council for my high-school, I’m even apart of the student council and for some reason I feel disgusted even as much as I want to help people.

They talk about sex so casually, I become repulsed. It’s a normal thing, right? Why would it matter so much? I mean, I myself want a family and children and eventually grand children—I can’t get over the irony, literally.

There’s so much more too, it’s like no matter how I try, a void or something may not be satisfied with that being enough and I can’t quite figure it out.

(Note to all, mentally I’m very well, I just have ADHD.)

I mean, as smart as I am I should be rocking grades as good as it goes. But then I keep questioning why am I even trying so hard?
Who am I proving this too? I look to religion, which in a way makes me far more calmer (, weirdly so I get uncomfortable in purely secular spaces, I don’t know why..)

Is the peers I’m around? Cause I want to help people and I like helping them but, what’s the exact point, my assumption was to make people’s lives just and fair right? I myself love the idea of community and family, and I see myself being a very great and active person, but it kinda hurts to feel this way and I can’t feel it.

I’m used to figuring things out but I don’t know how to express that.

Maybe I’m just bored?

There’s a girl around my age who is going through a breakup. I see her on social media, posting sad videos and going live to talk about her pain. Honestly, it hurts to watch.

I wish she would heal, and a part of me wishes she wouldn’t share so much of her heartbreak publicly. Not because her pain isn’t valid, but because people can be cruel. The same vulnerability she is showing today might become a joke to someone tomorrow. People might call her an attention seeker instead of recognising that she is hurting.

I know everyone processes pain differently, and maybe talking about it helps her cope. I just wish the world were kinder to people who are vulnerable.One thing I’ve learned over the years is to drink the pain and move in silence. Not everyone deserves access to the parts of you that are breaking.

Maybe that’s just how I’ve learned to survive. I don’t know if it’s healthier, but it’s what I know.
I genuinely wish she heals. I hope one day she finds happiness again and no longer feels the need to tell the world about her suffering.

I am a somewhat anxious person, and frankly, life has been throwing more at me than I am totally used to. I was spiraling about how something was going to work in the future, or what something was going to be like. It suddenly occurred to me that I was trying to skip chapters in the book of my life and then getting confused about why it wasn't making sense. Of course it doesn't make sense, I'm trying to read ahead. Or like playing a video game; the tutorial is trying to show me how to put an item in my inventory, and meanwhile I'm freaking out that I don't know where I'm gonna get the weapon that's gonna help me beat the boss on the cover. Like...maybe focus on the glowing item with the tooltip saying "Press A" before you try to do a combo attack?

It's common sense and something I have been told many times before, but it finally clicked today lol.

So IK I probably sound like in entitled asshole, and that's not what I'm trying to come off as. My question is, do people really just not care enough to take a couple seconds out of there day to reach out even if it's occasionally, or do I just need to be more focused on myself and stop caring about it?

I don’t get offended if people don’t reach out because I know that they’re busy and they have their own lives, although I do get skeptical sometimes that they might not care anymore, but I tried to push that far away because it’s 90% not true, especially if we’ve been friends for a long time. Sure there’s fake friends out there, I’ve had plenty, but also I’d like to believe that a reasonable amount of people in the world are genuinely considerate, they’re just so busy that they literally don’t have time or energy to pour into you like maybe you’ve been pouring into them, or maybe cups that they have or are just not yours at that moment. I'm learning to be ok with it, as I can't run my whole life and self-worth based on weather people give there time to me or not, but sometimes I can't help but wonder. I'm not going down that rabbit hole of what it makes me think about them or myself, I don't have the time or the energy to drive myself mad about that. I just want to know is this something that I’m making up and blowing out of proportion, or is this a real thing that I just need to learn to accept and move on.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post im not sure where to post it

I'm 17 and have mild autism. I'm in a program meant to help me build a routine so I can get back into school or work, but I haven't been going because I've been struggling too much.

Lately everything feels worse. I feel useless and I avoid mirrors because I hate how I look. My suicidal thoughts are getting stronger, and I often think about how and where I'd do it. Today I held a knife against my thigh and was too scared to cut.

I can laugh and switch moods in a second while feeling awful inside, so I feel like I'm faking it. I've tried therapy with different people and formats, and nothing has

helped.

I keep telling myself it doesn't count because other people have it worse, but that doesn't make the feeling go away.

I'm also scared of losing my only close friend. He's 18 and from the program. We haven't talked in a while because we've both been struggling. Texting is hard for me and I always feel like I'm bothering people.

I don't know exactly what I'm hoping for. Maybe just to not be alone with it for a minute.

If you felt like this at my age and it got better, what changed things for you?

I hate myself

I am 40 years of age married with a mortgage no kids. I have worked full time for last 8 years. My job actually has skill required to it. The pay is absolute garbage in this economy cant stand having a boss and making others rich. From the age of 18 until 32 been charged several times in and out of jail on short terms. Extremely bad charges got them dropped in court lucky i guess even though 100 percent guilty. Decided to grow up after stop selling drugs which made me generally wealthy throughout my 20's. Long story short I just miss the life style of living off the edge. I want to go back to making real money again and being free financially. Yes its immature loser talk most people would agree.

Having a mortgage ,wife ,normal job feels like a dead end to me. To me working a full time job paying taxes and doing the right thing feels worse to me then prison honestly. I dont know why my brain is wired this way. Maybe its easy good money. Honestly its not easy trafficing drugs full time when you get going. Lots of stress very busy and on high alert watching the moves you make planning a head always. Sametime its worth the risk because you are in charge of yourself. Yes it hurts people but its never going away there getting it from someone else regardless. Doctors, Governments give drugs out like candy.

People are prefectly fine with profit they make off it. Weed legal in Canada before never was. Governments make it legal perfectly ok.

There people out there that feel the sameway?

I wish there was a drug to prevent me from caring about the opinion of others. I don't need something that's going to sedate me rather something that's going tune off the part of the brain responsible for that.

I know human civilization somehow depends on we humans caring about the opinion of our fellow humans. But I feel there's a downside to it too and I fall under the slope in that regard!

I spent years thinking change needed some grand turning point. I kept telling myself I would start healing once I got the better job, moved to a new place, or met the right people. I was stuck waiting for that one big moment to reset everything.

Last month I realized that was keeping me frozen. Real growth didn’t arrive in a flash. It showed up in tiny, boring choices. Going to bed on time instead of scrolling when I felt empty. Saying “no” to plans I didn’t want just to please others. Letting myself rest even when I hadn’t finished my checklist.

I still have bad days. Old habits creep back, and I feel like I haven’t made progress at all. But I’m learning progress does not have to be dramatic. I don’t need to reinvent myself overnight. Small, consistent decisions add up slowly.

It feels strange to stop chasing some huge breakthrough. Does anyone else here used to wait for that big “moment” to start working on themselves? How did you shift into valuing small daily steps instead?

apparently my parents visited NYC and the world trade center exactly 6 months before 9/11 and my dad took tons of footage. it felt absolutely surreal seeing the city pre-9/11, seeing my mom pose for pictures with my baby brother with the twin towers in the background, seeing my mom on the observation deck. it made me profoundly sad, knowing that world doesn't exist anymore. even something as mundane as a FDNY truck -- I was watching the footage with my dad and he said he wondered if those firefighters are still even alive. shit

26m here been suffering from depression for at least 15 years due to abuse from when I was a kid ive spiraled various times over the years i get the urge to kill myself every once in a while during the times where I hit a low point I usually manage to find a reason not to and pull myself back together but not sure how much longer I can keep doing that

I feel like when i was a kid i always had really high expectations about life and people and around 10 to 12 my perspective really started to change because of what I was exposed to my dad started to be really abusive at home both physically and verbally he would always use any opportunity to talk shit to me he started to really hate my guts when I started playing baseball because it was something he was really into

I wasn't a good player at all at some point my dad stopped going to my games he gave me one last lecture where he told me was embarrassed of me and was ashamed that i was his son, for some reason i think about this often definitely hurt me bad I guess it still hurts, i also got molested during this time by this one coach I had i tried telling someone they didnt help me and yeah that stuff really started to eat away at self worth my 12th birthday was a couple weeks later and it was the first birthday where it didn't really feel special I just felt kinda void and sad and thought about killing myself for the first time

A bunch of other abuse happened in between then and now but it would be too long to explain but in short im all fucked up and I don't know how to fix myself there has been a lot of times over the years where I think ive fixed myself but its always temporary and I come back to same spot wondering if I should finally just do it

I feel like such a burden all the time i constantly feel like im bothering people by being around i always feel like nuisance I apologize too much out of like this weird subconscious reflex and I know im just annoying as fuck to be around im a fucking mess and I don't help anyone by being around

I dunno i just keep trying to find a way out of this shit but it feels endless even when im happy all I can think about is how bad its gonna hurt when its over i know its a fucked up way to be i just don't know how to be any different I've tried moving on but I dunno just never found a way that worked i feel like everything about me is horrible and I can't get over it

Sorry for poor grammar

sorry for the wall of text.

ever since middle school i have just been an absolute wreck. all i could think about during school was that i just wanted to go home and get on the computer. i would put off doing assignments just to get some more computer time in. i would be on my phone during high school and ignore the lessons. throughout all of it i never really had friends, if you exclude the kids my parents (really my mom) would make me hang out with reluctantly. this led to failing grades, even though i knew throughout the entire time that i was competent enough to do the things required of me, just that i didnt want to do them. i would stay up in bed looking at my phone (it is 2am as i write this) and lose sleep, making things worse. then i graduated after barely passing my classes (except for math, i was always good at math). lockdowns hit, and im just stuck on my computer 24/7, going to bed at 4 and waking up at noon. i finally enrolled in the local community college in 2021 and took 4 classes, but even with that i couldn't handle it because it was just too much effort for my brain to handle and i dropped 1 class. one semester i took only one class because i was too lazy to register for some class i needed to take for eventual transfer requirements. then i got a job finally. i took classes while i was working, but i failed one of them because i was too tired all the time (previous problems, but now i had a job), and i was too distracted/lazy (dunno which one) to actually withdraw from the class. then i quit the job because i was too tired all the time (lack of sleep, i would go to bed late and STILL wake up before my alarm went off, a problem that sort of persists to this day). one semester i just straight up didnt take classes because i failed to register. stuck on computer again. then next semester i registered for four classes, but withdrew from 2 of them because i hadn't really changed at all as a person, and still only went home to hop right back onto the computer. now we get to this point in time, where i have not enrolled in any classes and where i am just a rotting husk.

it should be mentioned that throughout this entire time i basically never went outside even though i like to think i like the outside (i live in an urban setting). still no friends (unless you count people that i barely talk to online/send memes to but basically do nothing with). still fat and ugly. used to smoke weed practically multiple times a day until sometime in early 2025. and whatever i would do on my phone/computer basically ended up amounting to playing video games, watching youtube videos (mostly useless videos, maybe some self improvement videos that never really stuck) and watching porn (which i discovered at 11. although i dont engage with it far far less than i used to, it still has had its lasting effects). i dont even have fun playing the games anymore. its practically routine at this point. i dont really have any talents, im not even very good at the games i play all the time. watching youtube videos about scientific subjects and then forgetting all what was said in the video, or being able to read wikipedia pages about random shit and being able to restate the facts about what was on it to other people arent very useful or interesting things. everything feels empty. my family might take me along to something like the zoo or somewhere, and i wont feel a thing.

pretty much every day i dream of what things would be like if everything had played out differently. i dont really want to be like a normal person, mostly because of the implications about participating in and driving the engine of society that make up being a normal person today, but i still wish for my own life. at this point i just wonder if theres anyone thats gone through similar things

i often wonder if it was i who failed myself, or whether my parents failed me, or whether it was both.

Today is my birthday but this time I am turning 18. It is crazy because exactly a few years ago when I was suffering from depression and anxiety, and tried to end my life several times in different ways I didn’t even expect myself to live until my 18th birthday. I achieved so many things, I got into my dream college, I finally moved out, I have made beautiful friendships and memories and taught myself how to deal with stress and stuff like that. But first of all, I have found myself. Now I can step up and speak for myself, I can talk to myself during difficult times, and even though there are still some things that I wish to change about myself, I work for it hard. Last few years haven’t been easy, but I managed to get out of it and learn how to breathe again. I cannot say things are the same, they will never be, but nevertheless I am so thankful for everything. I hope this year brings me joy, life with less stress, and more academic success. Most importantly, I hope I get to know myself more and more. I love myself and i am so proud of myself. Happy birthday to me and the little girl who will always be alive within me ❤️ (sorry if I have made grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language and I wrote this really fast loll)

Due to life circumstances I am getting divorced. Its been 14 months since I separated. I am on anti depressants, in a co dependent support group.

I can look back at my entire past 11 years and say that I often was angry as a way to vent my depression.

Most of the time, it was in private. No one really saw it.

I say this because all often we judge "depression needs treating" as "suicidal thoughts."

That is wrong. Your life can degrade well before you get to suicidal thoughts.

There is a significant cost in life if you go through it bitter and angry. Even if you don't verbally show it to others, it will affect your actions and the things you decide to take on, and how you handle adversity.

I went on two anti depressants - 20 mg paxil and a low dose of trazodone for sleep aid. It enabled me to do the things I do to keep my stress in check - exercise, cooking, cleaning, sleeping better.

The result is I am more positive to strangers and have a better outlook even though my life currently is in the shits.

I’m single for 4 years and I guess my life has been rocky. But I recently went on a trip to a place with my group of friends and I decided to meet up with another group of friends who work in the trip place to catch up. They invited me to drink and decided to drop me off at a spot to where I could commute home. And it’s always the “Call me/Chat me when you get home”

I did get home safely that night but I fell asleep afterwards because I got tired from that day. I woke up with messages and missed calls from that friend asking me if I got home safely. And thats when I realized…I sucked at updating people.

It’s not just that friend, its almost everyone else. On that same trip, I can hear my friends talking about how their updating their parents and family about their trip and sending pictures, chatting and telling their partners if there’s no signal/wifi to update them. And I was just there listening to it all. I also take antidepressants so I guess my self esteem isn’t that good either.

I love my friends more than i love/care myself. My friends know me as one of the most impulsive/type b person to the point that they worry my safety. My brain doesn’t see the point of updating people because I initially thought “no one cares anyway” or in the case of my parents “i can handle myself, why do i have to tell them everything I do?”. This mindset stuck and I’ve been doing so for so long since my last relationship. I guess this recent realization really hit me because there’s still the push or pull of “do i have to tell people what i do? do they even care? what the point?”

I want to get better but I don’t know what to do. I know I’m wrong but a side of me still doesn’t see the point of updating people😓

Hi I'm not new to Reddit, but today I looked at it from a different angle while doomscrolling. And I couldn't help but think "Man, is this the best you've got?". It takes ages to find good content, and even if I find something remotely interesting, it's just bland and boring. Maybe it's just me getting older but seriously, what is up with this enshitification?

i’m 21f and my best friend is 20f. we’ve been online best friends for around 6 years and she’s great, she’s probably the only person who understands me. but lately i’ve been feeling super jealous of her for a multitude of reasons.

she’s skinnier than me. i know weight doesn’t matter…it does to me. she’s like, barely 100lbs and im 115. i already feel huge but compared to her i feel like an enormous monster. i’m so jealous, she’s just naturally skinny and always has been. it’s not fair.

she’s more wealthy than me. her family is well off and she can basically get whatever she wants. she spends money carelessly because she never has to worry, and she’s clueless about a lot of things in the world.

she has more support. she has access to regular therapy, and is on a medication that helps her. meanwhile i can’t afford therapy and ive been on about 5 different medications, none of which have worked. i’m so jealous that she has a support system. i just suffer in silence because my family don’t understand and i don’t have other friends. i don’t talk to her about my struggles much because i don’t want to burden her.

Everything is just shitty. The country is absolutely ruined and if a revolution happens it will take half a century or more to undo the damage that the culture, the economy and the people have faced. I really don't know how the economy hasn't collapsed if this state that we're in doesn't count as collapse. We could be at war again in the next second. Everything is absolute shit.

I've started studying for the entrance exam which I absolutely did not study for this past year and just lied about it and hence let my mother down and saw her cry because she thought I had failed for real. I hate myself for lying to my mom of all people. She tries so hard for me and I deceived her in return for her hard-work and faith in me. And I haven't been able to study for the past 2 days because I have a driving test tomorrow and I'm anxious. I had two sessions to practice with a driving instructor and every time he told me to do something I forget some small thong to do that will probably result in me failing for the 4th time. FYI our country doesn't allow people under 18 to drive.

And on top of all of this, my right tit is way bigger than the left.