We are already engaged but for months I feel that something's missing and I can't say exactly what,but I can't get this out of my head that maybe he's not the "one" for me. Ofc I am miserable since then and really don't know what to do.

As a person, I can't say anything bad about him,he's a great guy so the problem is me,sadly.

But I just can't break up but this is eating me alive. (I talked with him about this before, he even asked me if I want to continue this relationship w him but I couldn't say no)

Have you ever been in this kind of situation?

Can you still value and care about your ex even if you left?

My Ex said this to me but I find it odd because she wasn’t willing to put 100% into the relationship before leaving me.

If you did care wouldn’t you want to make things work? Feel like it’s lies and something said to soften the blow off the break up

after my ex, finding love feels all fun and giggly, but after awhile i genuinely feel uncomfortable and it feels so hard to love someone.

i need advice, please. i want to feel normal again.

Hi everyone, I could really use some reassurance and perspective right now. I’d like to know how common it is to go through a breakup at 30.

I feel like a complete failure, as if half of my life has gone down the drain. Right now, it feels like I’m going through one of the worst chapters of my life.

I also can’t stop seeing people around me getting married and having kids, and it makes me wonder how different my life could have been.

I keep comparing my situation to theirs, and it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind.

I guess I’m struggling to come to terms with where I am in life right now, and I’d really like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

How did you cope with it? Did things eventually get better?

I really want to understand this on a deeper level and remind myself that my life isn’t over just because things didn’t turn out the way I expected.

My spouse and I (married for four years) separated 3 months ago. It was supposed to a temporary split because we were fighting a lot, and we both needed space away from each other for a while. He however seems to be moving on. He has rented a big apartment and is bit by bit furnishing it. He has not asked for my input or opinion on the furniture and interior. He rarely reaches out and when he does, it is strictly about the baby (we have a 1 year old daughter).

I love him so much. I cannot envision a future with anyone else. I want him to come back. How will I do it?😭

what do u guys think abt the saying that “people who break up and get back together are likely to break up for the same reason again”? needed some actual opinions on this

It took nearly 2 years, but I'm finally healed and haven't felt this happy and relieved in a while. During these years I got a lot of support from this community, even had a few posts/comments that I deleted eventually, but I can't be thankful enough for all the support I got.

Also my best advice: Try to find yourself

The advices I got at the beginning is to work on myself, exercise, eat healthier, find a new hobby etc. But these are things I could have started already before the breakup. They didn't really help, just gave me a short term solution, a distraction from the breakup.

The worst part that at the end I wanted only one thing: her recognition, her approval. I wanted to show her how fit I become, show her my new calisthenics skills, my pixelarts, that I learned to play on guitar.

Eventually this even become a toxic motivation. I wanted to hurt her, show what she have lost. Took me a painfully lot of time, and the realization felt like a punch in the guts: she lost nothing. I didn't do the all of these things because I liked them, inside I felt empty.

So do what you like, you are single now, you can spend all your free time and money on yourself, if something helps, even just a little bit, do it. Personally I bought myself THE gaming setup I always dreamed of and a bunch of home gym stuff. Do I exercise only at home? no. Do I have a lot of time to play on my pc? not at all but I love every moment of it.

And at the end, whatever your goal is, to move on, or to get back together with your ex, it's going to happen when you least expect it. If you are happy and you love yourself people can feel it. So try to focus on becoming happier, not just "better".

Thank you if you read all the way to this point, wish you the best and take care friend, if I did it, you can too

I (28F) was with now ex (34M) for 10 months — we were pretty different (him alternative and me good girl vibes) and I always expressed my concern about us being incompatible long term. He dismissed those concerns saying we were compatible in his eyes. Went from situationship to official status after about 5 months and he seemed very excited about us and our future. I was too, because in spite our differences, I absolutely adored him because he just understood me and we felt like best friends.

Often would make comments about our future as well but no concrete plans of action. This past month I’ve felt anxious because I was trying to figure out where the relationship was going and realized that after 10 months nothing had really happened. I haven’t met any of his friends or family (even though they knew about me and I spoke with them on the phone a few times). No photos together. He could go days without texting me especially after hard convos. Etc. He also didnt love his currently job and kept saying he wanted to go into another field/complain about his current lack of career but never did anything to make it happen. I tried being supportive about it and would often encourage him but again no steps were taken.
So I brought it up to him a few times and he would say he was he committed to me and wanted us to be together etc but … no real plan again or reassurance of what he wanted with me.

Then last week, he planned a date for us, went well and he was being his normal self, telling me he loved me etc. In the car he mentioned that he thought I had been acting distant and I told him it’s cause o was still anxious because I wanted a long term future with him and was taking steps to do that but wasn’t sure whether he wanted the same thing. Long story short he all of a sudden told me he was unsure about me, didn’t think he was ready for a serious relationship and that it was better if we broke up. He then started saying that he was tired of my anxiety/having the same convo, that I deserved better than him and someone more ambitious and and that he couldn’t give me what I wanted because I was too out of his league and he was “a loser”. Then he was asking whether he could text me in the future if he felt more ready (I said no). This completely blindsided me because I wanted to discuss it so we could make a plan not to break up…I’m trying to wrap my head around what could have happened and am feeling sad and confused.

Tl;dr: I (28F) brought up concerns to my bf (34M) about wanting the relationship to move forward and he abruptly ended it

My ex drunk texted me "hey" after 7 months of no contact, she was the one who broke up with me very abruptly. And I decided to respond a day later with a "hey" She didn't respond until a week later she apologized for it and said how she was drunk and feeling nostalgic. She also sent a gif.I responded a couple days later with a joking response.

I got over her romantically and emotionally but a part of me always wanted to catch up one day. But I started thinking about how she basically discarded me and never cared to understand just how much she hurt me and I regretted responding cause now I feel like disrespected myself cause I am giving her access to myself again without her having to acknowledge what happened.

I was in a happy relationship with my bf .He was the best , most beautiful person I've had in my life . I suffer from anxiety and it used to ruin my whole day , however with him around I could be at ease . I felt the most safest around him. But due to my lack of communication skills and pride about few things we got into fights . We both are from the same religion but I wasn't as religious as he was, and we would sometimes fight about it .

He gave me 2 chances after the first fight which half way broke our relationship , and I took it for granted . Ik im not the best at solving things on my own and it would create huge misunderstanding and cause us to fight . But even after that he was every loving .

Not long ago , my 1st ex who also knew my bf , started talking to my bf and then messaged me , he told me he was very sorry and would like to apologise for whatever had happen and would like to be my friend. Then he told me he likes me and want me to give him another chance . He said bad things about my bf and I didnt trust him since I got manipulated when I was in a relationship with him , so I went along his conversation to see what he was actually upto and what more bad things he has to say about my bf and he told me all the absurd things about my bf and at first I didn't believe it but at the end I started to doubt my own bf .

I tried telling my bf about this but I was drowned by my own doubts . I wish I did not try to see what my ex was upto and told my bf. Everything that was going on that same very day .

I lost the person whom I loved and who truly valued me . I regret doing this . I am so overwhelmed that im not a le to continue with. My daily routine, I don't have the courage to ask for the forgiveness anymore .

He forgave me for what I did but I cant bring myself to a accept that everything ended . I try to different things. But still I'm not able to move on . Right now I want to go and say all the things I want to I want to say I love you and that I pray to God everyday for us .

Currently we are just friends but I don't think this is going to last anymore .

Alas , I bid him goodbye and a happy future . I don't want to admit but I'm jealous of the girl who will be his wife .

I'm sorry my beloved.

I’m 30F, and my ex is 26M. We were in a long-distance relationship, with him living in another city. I’m struggling to make sense of how it ended, partly because of his relationship with another woman who has been central to both our lives.
She’s a prominent industry leader with a substantial social media following (\~2 Mn). Her husband is a co-founder of her business. I knew her professionally as I took her course (my ex was a teacher there too), and she offered me an internship when I was newer to the field. She introduced us by giving him my number, telling me he was an amazing guy, and encouraging me to date him. He later confessed that he convinced her to approach me because he wanted me badly.

He pursued me for 3–4 months. We spoke for 8–10 hours every day. He bought me gifts, travelled to see me without even asking me, encouraged me to open up emotionally, gave me professional advice, and talked about marriage and building a future together. I fell deeply in love and believed we were building something real.
He was finally supposed to come and see me after months of long distance but then told me he was coming to my city to stay with this woman because her dog had been diagnosed with cancer and she needed him. Initially, I didn’t see this as a problem, until I watched him repeatedly rearrange our plans and hide the fact that he was seeing me from her.

After a few days, we finally spent time together and became intimate. Almost immediately afterwards, I felt him pull away. He was cold and distant. Then she called him, and I watched him light up. I remember thinking that perhaps I would never be the person who could make him feel that way.

I asked if he was having doubts about us. He said, “Give me time.” The next day, he was still distant. I confronted him, and he broke up with me.
His relationship with this woman goes beyond an ordinary professional association. He is her business strategist, but their personal boundaries seem unusually blurred. She calls him her “favourite human” and her “therapist,” says she cannot go a day without talking to him, and he tells her he loves her and that she is more than family. After a serious fight with her husband, she moved into a hotel and called my ex.

Whenever he comes to my city, he stays at her house. He picks her up from the airport, changes plans around her, and when she asks him to cancel a flight, he does. When her dog died, she sent him a ticket so he could be with her. Despite her and me being in the same city, he refused to come see me, knowing I was struggling and taking therapy.

We had also planned to work together professionally. He promised to run ads for my new venture and help develop projects together. I invested time and money partly because I believed those commitments were genuine. After the breakup, he didn’t follow through. I even proposed continuing the work with 50:50 profit sharing, but he declined, leaving me with financial and professional losses alongside the relationship.

My mental health deteriorated badly. He knew I already had a history with mental health and was in therapy, taking medication, struggling to eat, and had even fainted one day. I begged him to see me and give me closure when he was in my city. He chose not to see me or respond to my messages. When I reached out to the woman who introduced us, hoping she might intervene, she refused to listen to me and outrightly told me he wouldn’t see me because I was apparently mean to him??

The professional fallout with her has been significant. I wrote the script for a masterclass and contributed to its art production, direction and editing. She has since turned it into a digital product without acknowledging my contribution. She also removed my speaker engagement and took away classes I was supposed to teach for her online course. Meanwhile, he remains closely involved in her personal and professional world.

There is another concern: he has access to the phone numbers of young students and faculty through this professional ecosystem, and I have evidence that he has approached other women. Given that the business is run by this woman and her husband and works with women, I am concerned about professional boundaries and accountability.

What I cannot reconcile is the two versions of this man. The person who pursued me for months, wanted my trust, discussed marriage, made professional promises, and made me feel chosen. And the person who withdrew almost immediately after we were finally together in person, ended the relationship the next day, abandoned our plans, and refused to see me when I was seriously unwell …while continuing to make himself so available to another woman.

I don’t want to believe everything was a lie, but I can’t use the good memories to explain away what happened afterwards.

I’ve tried therapy, medication and spirituality. I’m working and trying to carry on, but the grief and longing persist. New developments in the professional situation keep reopening everything, and I feel as though I’m constantly trying to reconcile two incompatible realities.

My partner and I (both mid-30s) have been together for two years following a six-month courtship. Before meeting me, he was in a seven-year relationship that ended when his ex cheated on him. He recently confessed he is still triggered by the breakup, and his therapist confirmed he hasn't forgiven himself for how things ended. Although we do typical couple things together, he has been emotionally unavailable the whole time. While he claims he sees a future with me, he refuses to commit to marriage, remains emotionally disconnected during conflict, and failed to support me when I was at my lowest. I am exhausted from constantly explaining my feelings, adjusting to his emotional unavailability, and being the only one who initiates reconciliation when we fight. Now that I’ve set boundaries, he barely communicates. We have non-refundable international trips booked together over the next few months that I cannot afford to lose money on, so ending things immediately isn't a financial option. How should I interact with him day-to-day while waiting for these trips, how can I emotionally detach to survive the travel itself, and what should my long-term plan be once they are over?

I've been struggling with my relationship for quite some time, and I could really use some outside perspective.

My girlfriend is 27, and I'm 24. We've been together since January 2025. I still have feelings for her, and it's not as simple as saying she's a bad person or that everything between us has been terrible. But over time, I've started feeling increasingly uncomfortable in the relationship, and I'm beginning to question whether I can see a future with her.

One of the biggest issues is that I constantly feel like I have to explain and justify myself.

Whenever I try to tell her something about how I feel, what I want, or why something matters to me, I often end up having to explain myself over and over again. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't really listen to what I'm trying to say before reacting to it. Instead of asking a few questions to understand my perspective, conversations can turn into long discussions where I feel like I have to defend myself.

Eventually, I run out of energy. I'm at a point where I sometimes don't even want to bring things up anymore because I already anticipate how exhausting the conversation might become.

This doesn't just happen with major relationship issues. Even relatively small things can leave me feeling like I have to explain myself or prove that I'm not doing something wrong.

Over time, all these little situations have accumulated, and I've become increasingly frustrated and emotionally distant.

Another major issue is our future and where we would live.

My family is important to me, and I would like to live somewhere that allows me to maintain a good connection with them. Ideally, I'd want to find a compromise where neither of us is disproportionately far away from our respective families.

My girlfriend doesn't seem willing to consider that. Her relatives live in Germany, and she doesn't want to move farther away from them. When I explained that I couldn't really see myself living long-term where we currently live and would prefer a location that works for both of us, she essentially told me that if I wanted to live closer to my family, I should leave and move there.

That statement has stayed with me. We've discussed the topic before, but I hadn't fully understood how strongly she felt about it.

She has also given me an ultimatum telling me that I should leave. I struggle to understand why our disagreements have reached that point rather than us trying to find a solution together.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the one trying to reflect on the situation, understand both perspectives, and think about the long-term consequences. I even find myself wondering whether I'm emotionally more mature than she is, despite being three years younger. I know age doesn't automatically determine emotional maturity, and I'm not claiming I handle everything perfectly. It's just how I sometimes feel when we're dealing with difficult conversations.

I've also noticed that I increasingly want to make decisions about my own life without constantly worrying about how she'll react. I want to spend time with my family and friends, pursue my hobbies, and have time to myself without feeling guilty or having to explain why I need those things.

I've started looking for a place of my own. Part of me wants to make sure I have somewhere to go if I end the relationship. We both signed the lease for our current place, so I know there are practical things I'll need to work out as well.

The difficult part is that I think I'm already leaning toward ending the relationship. When I imagine being on my own again and having more freedom to make my own decisions, I feel a sense of relief. But I also feel sadness because I still care about her and because ending a relationship is never that simple.

I think one of the reasons I've hesitated is that I'm afraid of the aftermath: her being hurt, being blamed for everything, long arguments, feeling guilty, or being made to question my decision. I worry that the breakup itself could become another situation where I have to explain and defend myself endlessly.

My psychologist has been helping me work through some of these feelings, but I'm still trying to understand what I want and how to approach this.

I don't want to portray my girlfriend as the villain. I know there are two perspectives in every relationship, and I may have my own shortcomings. But I also don't think I should have to reach a point where I have absolutely no feelings left before I'm allowed to leave.

So, I'd really appreciate some honest outside perspectives:

Does this sound like a relationship that has developed an unhealthy communication dynamic, or could I be interpreting things unfairly?

How do you know when you've reached the point where you no longer genuinely want to continue a relationship, rather than simply being exhausted by ongoing conflict?

How do you end a relationship when you're afraid of the guilt, arguments, and emotional fallout, especially when you still care about the other person?

And am I wrong for wanting to secure a place of my own before having that conversation?

I'm not necessarily looking for someone to tell me to break up. I'm trying to understand whether what I'm feeling is a sign that the relationship has run its course, and how to move forward without losing myself in the process.

TL;DR: I'm 24M, and my 27F girlfriend and I have been together since January 2025. I feel emotionally exhausted from constantly having to explain and justify myself, and I'm becoming increasingly distant. We also seem to have different ideas about where to live and how to balance our families. She's given me an ultimatum to leave, and I'm starting to think I want to end the relationship myself. When I imagine living independently, I feel relieved, but I'm scared of the guilt, arguments, and emotional fallout. Am I just burned out from our communication issues, or have I reached the point where I genuinely want to leave?

Lowkey, I just need to vent this out and i hope my experience gives other people an idea of what comes next after the initial "oh shit, its really over" devastation clears.

SOME BACKGROUND:

Im gonna be straight up, it doesnt go away neatly lol. My ex and I were together for 5, almost 6, years and when she broke up with me, she did it over an unprompted phone call that lasted less than 20 minutes. It was really really harsh. We had ups and downs. She had broken up with me before but we were solid for a few years after and I thought we were committed to growing together.

In reality, it was tough on both of us. We met really young and navigating our early and mid 20s together trying to figure out who we wanted to be and what we wanted in life while being tied to one another probably didnt help us out.

Add in the fact that I received a pretty intense diagnosis near the middle of the relationship (and kinda spiraled slowly after) and it was clear that we both were in a very serious commitment neither one of us fully appreciated until it got real.

Anyways, I wasnt perfect. The end of the relationship (last 6 months) was rough. We went long distance because she moved out of state for grad school and our relationship heavily deteriorated due to a lot of factors. I had a lot (A LOT) of fight still left in me because I loved her but she was slowly pulling away and I just didnt see it. Or maybe i just tried to ignore it, hoping that things would turn around for us and we'd choose each other again when our backs hit the wall :')

It did not happen that way

NO CONTACT:

When she broke things off, I immediately opted for no contact. I didnt explicitly tell her "lets not talk for now" but I just went radio silent. The phone call she hit me with was out of the blue and I felt blindsided so I was really hurt and feeling like a real, huge ass loser.

I was ashamed, so I hid. For a cool month I just tried to process the fact that it even happened but honestly it didnt hit me until month 2.

From then on, I was ruminating endlessly every night thinking about my role and everything I did wrong. I removed her from Instagram and deleted her number, hid every photo I could on my phone and tried to forget it happened. That... is impossible to do. I drank a lot and started coping with a lot of unhealthy habits.

Month 3 was my stalking era lol. I was checking up on her stuff every once in a while before but month 3 I went into obsessive mode. DONT DO THIS. You will 100% see things you dont want to see and CANT UNSEE. It will break your spirit.

Even if your ex wouldnt be the type to rebound so fast (tbh mine didnt but seeing her move on hurt), you will 100% see photos you don't have any context for, with people you probably dont know, with your ex posted up in a style you dont recognize, and doing faces or going out to places you didnt think they'd be.

It will hit you hard and you'll feel like theyre leaving you behind. So please, spare yourself and dont look at their socials. It can only ever go badly when you havent processed the breakup.

I ended up permanently blocking her socials and even deactivating mine just so I could give myself some peace. It was really hard at first but I had friends who encouraged me and it helped a lot.

The weeks went by and it felt less and less like I was missing out on their life.

I slowly started to remember I had agency over my own decisions and what I did with my time once I stopped thinking of her so much. I got a new job, met some really great people, started dressing a little differently than i used to (it gave me a lot of confidence back), and im always trying to step outside of my comfort zone and give things a try.

My new job got me back into shape and I changed what I was eating which helped me reach a point where I felt confident in my looks again. The new people I met also helped me build my confidence. If I could get along and be friends with them, maybe I wasnt so terrible after all?

I also finally addressed the elephant in the room for me: my mental stuff. I got on some meds and put a lot of work into rebuilding my support network.

I cant stress enough how much of a difference this makes.

Having people to talk to about your darker emotions and feelings, working with a professional to address things that you are having trouble getting past on your own, its all helping you rebuild a strong foundation for yourself.

If I could recommend some books/people to check out, id recommend Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, Carl Jung, and maybe a bit more abstract one but Jean Baudrillard.

Baudrillard's work on hyperreality and the nature of objective truth actually helped me to process a lot of the confusing thoughts and obscured feelings I had around my desire to "perform" being okay and wanting to project an image of myself, online and otherwise, that would prove to my ex that I was still worth her time, effort, and love so that I could "win her back".

I strongly believe that without all these moving pieces, id be dead lol by my own hand if you catch me. The grief of the loss was that bad.

That all sounds super healthy and cool but if it makes you feel scared that you wont bounce back like that, dont even worry about that. You will. It wont be like it looks on social media or in movies but you will reach a point where you just get so exhausted spending all your energy on someone who is gone that you (almost to survive) start to turn all that energy around and put it into yourself. You always have the choice to start, theres no time frame for it.

That being saiiidd... it aint all uphill either lol there are a lot of dips and mountains to climb. Its a rollercoaster ig lol

MONTH 9:

Its been rough with the changing seasons. The air changes, the days feel shorter and the rain coming in has brought a whole bunch of old memories I had forgotten back up to torture me. It sucks but I can tell I handle it better now.

Before it would literally take my life away from me. Days in bed, not eating or sleeping or even talking to people. Now? It brings a heavy sigh, a sad feeling, and then I move on. I can still laugh when someone tells me a joke, I can still smile when I pass by friendly and familiar faces, and I can still get up every day and do the things I need to do.

The grief takes less from me now.

Do I still wonder how she is doing? Yeah, all the time. But ive also met new and cool people and its given me hope that she wasnt the end all be all. One day she may reach out, I dont know how ill feel then but I do have confidence that I can handle it as back in month 2, I thought my world would end but now, I am slowly getting back up and on my feet, 10 toes down instead of falling back onto my heels lol.

Yall got this, trust the process and lean on anyone and everyone you can. You'll be better for it.

AND DONT STALK THEM OR BREAK NO CONTACT. PLEASEEEE D:

My ex (of 8 years) and I broke up 3 months ago. it was messy and the way he handled things was done in a way i’d never forgive him.

yesterday I saw a recent picture of him, and felt nothing.

today he texted me and said he hoped i was doing well, i didn’t care to reply

it. gets. better.

Hi, my ex came back last week on instagram. He asked if everything was fine blabla. I was neutral in the conversation. He even liked one of my selfie in a story. Then today I saw that he removed me (with 5 or 6 persons too). Why??

I broke up with my ex about two months ago because whenever I turned down sex, he would become upset without considering how I was feeling or whether I was physically okay. Recently, I saw another girl post something on her Instagram feed that made it look like they had been on a date together. I hate that I still think about him so much, and I don’t know how to stop. And I hate to feel like this but it almost feels like he cheated on me. Why do men always disappoint you and then when you finally leave them, they go running to girls who are desperate for male attention?

I left my partner 2 months ago and because there was so much chaos in our relationship after I left, I started having flashbacks about my ex’s mom who lived in the apartment below us, chain smoked and slept all day. My ex said awful things about her, said they wanted to leave/move but then would say how sick she was and how they needed her so they couldn’t leave until she died.

My ex was abusive looking back, but I never felt I was able to process how unhealthy both my ex and their mother were until I left.

My ex after I moved in due to financial issues mainly… I push back on moving in but both the mom and my ex seemed excited. I was only contributing a little bit financially so, in my heart I felt confused…but the rent was so cheap I thought it could help me get back on my feet… and before I moved in I had a major loss and attached to my ex while before my boundaries were strong and could not be moved.

My ex after I moved in, did a series of emotionally and physically abusive things that slow slowly wore me down, but there was a big event that I was like I need to leave. I went no contact the day after it happened (I had to talk to them to tell them I was moving out, which I don’t know if that breaks no contact but, I feel like a 12 step meeting person counting the days since I left.

The mom caught me, sneaking into the house about a week after it happened and was calling me, honey, telling me that I was her friend and I could talk to her, and I was straight up like your kid did a lot of really awful things, you are enabling them, you are gaslighting me by telling me the things they were doing were in service of me, both of you are really fucked up and I’m moving out and never wanna see either of you again” She gave reasons why her kid was doing the things they were doing and she said it was to protect me. I said no this is abuse. Here are examples of how this is abuse.

she was just standing there with her mouth open. I don’t think people in this family have ever witnessed anyone advocate for themselves and say no you are the problem and these are the things that you are doing.

Since leaving, I’ve been going through a lot of feelings, guilt, one thing that both my ex and their mom agreed on was that me having panic attacks was hard for them to deal with even though they both had a lot of similar mental health issues.

I feel guilty that I had two cats die in the last year due to health issues and I heard the mom and the ex say things like the cats dying was a lot for them. That one floored me because it was like hi. I’m the person who had the relationships with these animals and lost them and this is hard for you?

I never experienced this because no one else I’ve ever dated have this type of maternal enmeshment. It was really scary because in the beginning I was told this is what families do this is a healthy family and you don’t have families so you don’t know.

Anyway, I’m just venting because the beginning of the relationship was very serendipitous, but I’m feeling bad that this was just a year and a half long trauma bond and as I’m getting older feeling bad about not leaving sooner.

i broke up with him about 3 weeks ago,

when i said i wanted to break up, he responded so coldly and said ok

it hurts me seeing him easily moving on from me and never arguing back why i want to break up in the first place

so how can i not look back?

how can i move on and stop missing him?

I'm a (19F), and he's a (23M).I just found out that he has been cheating on me and lying to me for so long. I thought we shared the same core values, especially when it came to disliking hookups and p\*rn. It turned out that he had already had s\*x with many girls, and he talked about all of it to his friends and coworkers as if it were an achievement he was proud of. His friends also told me that he had travelled to another country to have s\*x and that he had always flirted with many girls.

I hate the fact that I had already invested so much in the relationship. I put a lot of effort into it, understood him on a deeper level, accepted his flaws, especially his ADHD, stood by his side when he was at his lowest, and remained loyal to him. But I can't believe that, no matter how good I was and how intelligent I am at noticing contradictions, he still did all of this to me.

I hate that I ignored my gut feeling. I had been experiencing physical pain, stomach aches, nausea, and dizziness most of the time when he talked to me, but I thought it was trauma until I suddenly had a strong urge to ask his friends about him. After I told him that I knew about this, he kept lying and gaslighting me. He kept saying that he had never had s\*x and was a virgin. He didn't apologise at all and just left me.

Fck. This is the first time I've ever been cheated on and lied to like this. I'm not someone who gives my heart away easily, which is why I went all in because I genuinely trusted him. I'm very analytical, but with him, I became emotional because I genuinely trusted him and thought he was the one. I have ADHD too, so this is affecting me emotionally on a deeper level, and I really want to heal from this.

I'm genuinely hurt by this, and now my mental health, which I thought had already improved, is getting worse again.

I really need support and words of comfort from you all.

I also need advice on how to heal from this?

I'm really traumatised by this now. I hope that one day, someone will treat me better and never leave me feeling traumatised like this.

Need advice related on life and ex and moving on its so ducking hurting

I was seeing a guy for four months and we ended things because he doesn’t think the distance would work between us. We were just seeing each other casually and it wasn’t like serious. But we are mature enough to have a conversation about Better, we think the distance would work. I said it would have both people think so but given how he was pulling back because of the distance, I asked him if he doesn’t think so and he confirmed that he think it’s not right to continue. And we had we had an emotional and clean goodbye, but I left the door open. No, I can’t stop thinking whether he change his mind as I told him if things change or he changes his mind let me know

(I never rly post here but i thought it might be okay to ask here)

so idk how to explain this but I've been in a close platonic relationship with a girl for 2 yrs. we started out as friends, had our confessions here n there but I was always clear abt needing to heal before moving into another relationship. we agreed on staying friends but allowed each other to flirt still. as time passes we always had respectful and healthy communications abt ourselves - but I messed it up. I had some issues that happened and I didn't have the space/patience that I always had and my nervous sistem was messed up. at first I communicated it clearly but as personal stuff happened that triggered unhealed trauma, I started to become avoidant to her. not avoidant in a way where I stop talking to her but more like I had emotional outbursts that pushed her away. I didn't have the space or to regulate my emotions - thats no excuse to hurt her tho. these emotional outbursts happened several times and she was patient w me and understood the first time but ofc I had to mess it up until it was too much for her to stay.

we agreed on no contact but allowed to check up on each other here n there so we only have shallow convos here n there - or very short updates. It's mostly me who texts first and she gives chill answers but the convo is shallow and ends quickly.

I only realized what I've done after those personal problems I mentioned earlier calmed down a bit, and I finally had space to feel the emotions I neglected for the past yr all at once - and it hit me like a truck. I love her so much, and if not as a lover then as a friend and I really miss her. I started reading self help books, started journalling and started doing sports again to regulate and understand my emotions.

Now idc about me bc what I wanna ask is - how should I go on with her? Is it too soon to text that I miss our friendship and ask her if she is willing to give it another try? or should I leave her alone for maybe half a yr where I'm certain that I'm at the right pace - to text her again?

I wanna respect her space and yet I wanna try build our friendship again. I don't know what to do

I know we were never official but it feels like I'm losing my soulmate - This friendship is really important to me and I refuse to give up - even if it means healing for a few years and then try again.

We've broken up after 3 years on really fair terms, kept no contact to process and eventually had 2/3 interactions that were neutral/good. It's been 8 months post break up.

I find out through close people between us his mother has been diagnosed with a condition that gives her 2 months to live. She passed away around 2 weeks ago I still Dont know certain days. But I found out she passed a few days ago, he didn't contact me and it only just got to me that this type of news isn't something he would just share over message…like how do even go about telling someone that.

I want to write to him but I'm stuck and not feeling confident at all, im going though a rough period myself mentally and in an ED episode. I'm struggling with the structure of my message, I'm afraid to cross some boundaries yet I want to make sure he knows I've aknowleged, and am there for any support, however he's a boy…whos been so attached to his mother and I want to help more that just this message but I'm messy in my head space rn and not sure where to stop with message.

Could I get some advice please.
I've lost my dad when I was 4, its different to when you're in your mid 20s but I know what grief looks like and how loosing a parent can be….

I’ve been with my bf for 2 years. We live together for 1. He is constantly busy with work and coaching and just all these other things going on. I also work but I get home at 2pm. So im constantly just waiting on him all the time not bc i only need him but yes it would be nice to see my partner. He doesn’t get home till 8 pm some nights. So I leave at 5 am and don’t see him till 8. It’s just not something I love in this relationship. On top of already multiple ongoing issues in our relationship. He wants to also come home and have time for his hobbies which makes sense he’s still his own person but I already don’t see him much as it is so when he wants to go home and play video games after being gone all day it kind of hurts he doesn’t want to spend time with me. Am I wrong ? Is this just something i need to accept and I’m being immature about or would it be a valid reason to leave . I’m already not happy with the issues we have going on and throwing this on top of it … idk.