This is the first picture I took w my father. I met him for the first time when I was 34.

My mom and dad hooked up while they were in their early 20s. She was stripping at a club and he was actually the bartender working that club.

My father was not ready for children. Especially understandable w a stripper he didn’t even know. They had been dating for only a few months.

This infuriated my mother. When I was 3 months old she became a full time sugar baby and moved me from NY to FL to live in a condo on the beach that one of her “clients” owned.

That “client” became my unofficial stepdad. Never there emotionally, but he was a good man and financially supported both my mom and me through college, buying us cars, ect. He’s still a good man but emotionally he’s incapable of meaningful relationships. I believe he’s on the spectrum.

Anyways. My mom would always trash talk my real dad. And through out the years, my real dad would try and make a relationship with me. I didn’t understand much then. Or the importance of having a real father in my life. She would push him away in sorts. Call him a sperm donor. Question me, why I would even want to talk to him.

Life went on. When I turned 18 my dad sent me a bday card. Telling me he loved me, and at any time when I’m ready- I could contact him.

I brushed it off. I was busy w college and partying and had still not understood the importance of a father figure. Besides, my mom would always make him seem like this terrible guy. But every time during my childhood, the few phone calls he had, were very good. He seemed nice, smart, funny, even successful in life.

Fast forward to me at 25. Now I was a father. I started thinking about my father more in more. We had lost contact over the years and I decided to reach out.

We re connected. It was great. We would have great conversations and talked like we were best friends.

I met him and his family for the first time. I had a step brother and sister and step mom. They were a happy family.

Things got bad for me however. I became alcoholic during Covid. I’m still fighting the addiction. It prevented me from traveling and seeing him. He had planned a trip to Nicaragua - just me and him. I was so alcoholic and anxious i couldn’t bear myself to travel. Non the less function as an adult.

My dad battled Leukemia for 10 years. Never bitched about it. Never really complained. He was at peace.

He lost that fight 3 days ago.

His brother told me the news. I’d just spoke to my dad 2 weeks prior. We all knew his life was ending soon. He didn’t sound well at all. And he’d exhausted all medical treatment routes.

So. I learn my dad just passed. I grieve. I wait a day to tell my mother. I wait a day because I know how she is. And how she would react.

I told her the news. You could hear the joy in her voice. She insinuated he was in Hell. This obviously upset me.

She knew I was upset. She started sending me texts, gaslighting me. She managed to make this whole thing about herself.

I grew up with a lot of depression and anxiety and mental issues. Later on. As i mentioned. I became alcoholic. She blames all of this on my dad.

Now. I’m here alone. I have no real family other than my son who lives in another state. I was a single parent for the first 5 years of my son’s life. Covid happened and I sent him with his mother across the country She had a very large family and support group. Schools were closed and we sent him to a private school that remained open during Covid. I attribute this event of losing my son to part of my alcoholism. I was a single parent for 5 years because my son’s mother relapsed off opioids and heroin. She’s done a 180 and is doing great now.

I still get my son for the whole summer and holidays. We have a good relationship. But he’s not here living w me.

I just. Idk. I’m lost right now. What became grieving turned into hatred towards my mother. She was not the best parent growing up. Not the best at all to be honest.

But yea. I’m 37. I live in Daytona Beach. A rough town. All my friends all pretty much dead from drugs and alcohol. Or they have moved on elsewhere with their families.

My dad just died and I have no where to vent but here. On the internet.

I talked to my stepdad about my father’s death. It was literally a 2 minute conversation.

I haven’t been happy in a long time. And one of the few only ppl I could talk and laugh w is now gone. And I have so many regrets that i didn’t spend more time w him.

I posted on here a few years ago when my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she passed 6 months ago. I knew my family wouldn’t be there for me as they’ve never really liked me for some reason. My aunt tried taking the money my mom left me and i kind of freaked out at her for it. and she proceeded to say terrible things to me and my grandma has sided with her and i now have no family at all left. the only person i know that would stand up for me is my mommy. i tuned 23 2 months after she died and i feel very helpless and alone in the world. i would give anything to talk to her one last time or hug her. i really thought my family would ease up a little bit on me after she died but i was wrong. does anyone know any way of finding comfort when you lost everything in a very short period of time. I put what my aunt said for reference i hope that’s okay.

Two days ago, I held my Dad in my arms as he passed. After many years battling cancer, and fighting so bravely, he finally decided to rest.

It was hard seeing him go. Seeing his color change. His breathing change. I’ve worked in healthcare both as an EMT and a nurse and I thought I’d be better prepared, but I wasn’t.

For my whole life my Dad was my hero. When I was a kid I thought of him as invincible, and that I’d be an old man when he finally passed away. But I’m not an old man, I’m 33. My youngest daughter is only 6. And we all feel like cancer robbed us of time with him.

Even in his final moments, my Dad didn’t want to go. He told me in the hospital, shortly before declining, that his life was amazing but he still felt like “I have more time in me”. He wanted to be around his loved ones longer. And it’s so hard for me to know that…

My Dad enjoyed scary movies, fly fishing, watching baseball, and getting out of the house to have fun. One thing about him I know to be true: he had a massive heart. We all talk about my Dad always made sure the people around him were happy. Even people he barely knew. He’d always speak so nicely to service workers, random strangers in public, and was especially loving to his family.

I miss you, Dad. I feel like there was so much more I wanted to tell you before you went. I didn’t get to tell you in detail just how great of a father you were. I didn’t get to ask you what I should do when I need you, but can’t call you. It all happened to fast, in the last few days. All I could tell you was that I loved you and that it was okay to let go.. but I wanted to say so much more to you.

Rest easy, Dad. When I see you again, we’ll get some beers together, and watch some baseball.

My mother, who was my best friend, my rock, my cheerleader, my person, passed away suddenly 5 days ago. I was out of state on a trip she had encouraged me to go on so I wasn't even able to make it back home everything happened so fast. I didnt really get to say goodbye to her or to hug her or hold her hand or kiss her or even hear her voice as she was on a ventilator and again I wasnt able to make it back in time. I had talked to her just a couple of hours before and then she was gone. I'm not sure how to move forward. The pain is so deep I've never felt anything like it before. It literally steals the breath from my chest. My whole body is screaming, I just want to wake up from this nightmare. I miss her so much. I always thought we would be little old ladies together and we would die around the same time if not the same day. Ive always had my mother every day I spoke to her and now its been 5 days Ive been on this earth without her. Nothing is helping. I cant eat I want to sleep nc that means im not conscious but I dread sleeping bc I know for a split second when I wake up I dont remember then it all comes smashing back down on me and I die all over again. She was my whole reason for being. I was even designing my house with her in mind so that one day she would be able to live with me instead of being placed in a nursing home. I'm so lost and nothing I do makes anything better. I'm not even sure why Im writing this. Her name was Jennifer. She was funny and witty and so kind. So very kind. She loved steam punk and art deco and the colour purple and beautiful brooches with sparkly gems. She loved German Shepherds and she knew all about herbs and canning and how to darn socks. She was so talented in her quilt making. She worked tirelessly making them for people for free. She loved fall and winter the best. She took care if me and my siblings along with her younger sisters and she was the best mother anyone could have ever asked for. I know everyone says that but she really was. She loved train rides and the northern lights she always dreamed about seeing them but never got to. She never knew a stranger and she loved to laugh esp at cheesy b rated old films. I love her and I miss her and I dont think anything in my life will ever be good again. If you made it this far thank you. ​I don't know what to do or how to move forward now. It jsut feels like a never ending sea of pain and sadness.

It's 8:30pm. It's dark and cold outside. I stood outside staring at the stars thinking of her for 30 minutes, wondering if she's out there looking down at me.

We met 40 years ago and fell in love. We were 14, young and stupid. When we graduated from high school, we were inseperable. But by that fall, life pulled us in different directions - Me to college, her to seek a job two states away. We tried to make it work, but it just didn't.

We kept up over the years as best we could. Marriages, kids, divorces.

Social media reconnected us. There was still a spark. But, we were both married, so we kept it all 'friendly'. We talked, texted, shared. I spoke to her weekly, sometimes more often. She was still a wonderful friend, we knew each other well. We both wanted there to be 'more', but life was complicated. So, we were happy to remain friends.

My first wife died in 2016, suddenly. She was there for me. She held my hand as I buried my first wife. She was going through a divorce...would this finally be 'our time'. Turns out it wasn't. Things didn't align; her life was complicated and I needed to finish raising my own kids. Still, we remained friends.

I'll never forget the day I found out she had cancer. Spring 2023. I sat down and cried. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. As she battled cancer I was there for her to guide her. She would send her medical reports to me and I provided her guidance, feedback, encouragement. She fought harder than anyone I've ever seen fight cancer. It almost killed her, but she beat it. December 2024, she was cancer free and ready to resume life.

Then, April of this year, it came back. With a vegance. I couldn't get to her side in time. I wanted to be there. Life was again complicated, busy...unforgiving.

I'll never forget the day she died. I 'felt in my spirit' she was leaving. I was camping. I somehow knew to go hiking alone at around 2pm. While on top of a mountain, at 3pm, I stood and said a prayer for her. I cried. I knew she was gone...somehow.

Later that weekend, I got the news from her daughter. She had died at 3:10pm that day. I cried myself to sleep.

A few weeks after her passing, I made the drive and laid flowers on her grave. More tears.

I think of her often, how much I miss her and how close we came to figuring out 'us'.

There's no one I can tell without making them upset or jealous.

I'm in mourning...that's my confession.

It's my brother's birthday today. He died when he was 16. I didn't think that it would still be this hard after 17 years. I don't even remember his voice, but I still dream about him.

I missed the wave of light... because I knew how bad today was going to be and I couldn't do it twice. So think of this like a leftover ripple perhaps. Happy heavenly birthday Gianpaolo. I would give anything for you to be here instead, and I would still take your place in a fraction of a heartbeat if I could.

Writing this from the emergency room where my dad just had his second stroke in a month. It seems his body and mind are giving up.

He’s a complicated person and we’ve never had much of a relationship. He had an extremely difficult childhood and it showed up as alcohol abuse, mental health struggles, and emotional distance.

For a long time I resented his inability to see and love me. In my younger years I imagined the laundry list of failures I’d thrown at him on his death bed. I looked forward to the moment when he would be gone and we’d no longer need to walk on eggshells. When my mom would not have to live under his thumb.

But honestly it’s been far more complicated. It’s been sad to watch the decline. To see his memories slip away and speech garbled to the point of silence. It’s also so tender to see him, a man who raised us to be fully independent, receive care from others. It’s been beautiful to see my siblings, all our kids, and mom surround him with support — even when he was resistant.

And, it’s been an eye opening look into how broken our systems of care have become. Reliant on extreme medical intervention and medication that often delay the inevitable and tank quality of life. The costs are staggering. It’s shocking and infuriating.

Anyway, he’s chosen DNR and it seems like he’s close to the end. I just want peace for him.

What was your experience like as your parents declined and how was it different than you imagined?

My 2 year old daughter valkyrie was murdered on January 18th by her mother's boyfriend they are both in jail but im lost and need people to talk to

I (19F) just lost my dad today to complications with Signet Ring Cell Adenocarcinoma and Crohn's Disease. I watched him take his very last breath and I watched his heart stop. He finally let go after over 4 days in active death. I sobbed so hard I felt myself go deaf. One of the last things he did was asked me if I could hear him and told me that he loved me in perfect clarity, when he had only been able to groan. All I can think about is how much I miss him and have been missing him since I found out he had cancer in March. I just want my dad back. I'm not ready to live my life without him. He would always tell me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. He was and is the strongest person I know. He fought until the very end. The photo above was taken when I left the hospice home after his passing. I want to think he moved heaven and earth to make sure I knew he said his proper goodbye.

My sister died when I was 4. I was so young I barely remember her. I don’t even remember the day she died. I only remember one thing from her funeral and it’s after it was over and being tired and my dad carrying me to the car.

This was almost 15 years ago, I’m 18 now and a few weeks ago it kind of hit me a little harder than initially.

Like I’ve always just had the thought in the back of my mind, when people come over and see family photos from back then and ask about it I’m like “yeah that’s my sister she died”

I genuinely never grieved. I just went on about my life since I was so young. But recently it hit me. My sister is dead. My parents lost their kid. I cried for her for the first time. And have been since. Is this normal?

I lost my older brother last month unexpectedly. I’ll be 18 tmrw, my golden birthday. My grief has just been getting worse after the first 2 weeks
, like I had a false flooring of security and confidence that’s shattered under me. Now having to turn the first age he’ll never see me as is hitting hard. I’ve tried everything to distract myself from the loss, not even drinking numbs me enough anymore. I’m scared of what’s next, and I don’t know how to live without him.

Today, fifteen days after my father passed away, I thought maybe I could watch a movie. But when I looked at the last movies I had watched, I came across the last ones I had watched with him. The memories of his comments, and the irreplaceable feeling of watching a movie with him, suddenly hit me so hard that I gave up on watching anything.

It feels like these feelings will keep coming back for the rest of my life, no matter what I do. It’s truly so hard.

I miss my dad so much.

It’s been 8 months without my dad. I wish he never loved me like he did. This would be so much easier. But I have to live like this forever? With this anguish? With hating everything we did together because I have to do it alone? Every Christmas ad on tv makes me cry (beyond that October is not even finished with). He made life lovely and worth living. Idk how I will survive without him.

My dad died less than four weeks ago. It was a long few years of suffering and hospitalizations that left me in an hyper vigilant state as one of his primary caregivers (along with his wife). He and his wife lived two minutes up the road from my family and i, so I was the one going over in the middle of the night when a crisis happened to help them get my dad to the hospital, and I would be there to help advocate for him.

Now that the roller coaster of his illness is over, and there is this nothingness, I’m overwhelmed by the profound loss of someone that meant so much to me. All the stress of the last few years has now given way to a deep void and sadness.

Further complicating the grief and adding a layer of trauma, my dad died by MAID and since he didn’t want nurses in her home at the end, and our state allows family to mix the cocktail and hand it to the patient, I was the one who ended up doing this for my dad, so his wife or my younger brother wouldn’t have to. I didn’t realize the complicated toll that would take too. All I can describe is horror at mixing the the drink then handing it to him and seeing him pass. To have had that role with my father, it’s hard to process.

I have three young kids. I wasn’t doing great the past few weeks, but I was staying afloat, and this week I have crashed out hard. My husband has been a saint, but he has to go back to work now and I feel like I’ve already asked too much of him- he’s been amazing this past month and half as my dad entered hospice then after he passed. I feel alone and like I’m expected to just return to normal now. Parenting is hard, socializing is hard, getting this done around the house is hard (I am a motivated, organized mother normally and I adore my children- but right now its hard having to care for them and manage their emotions while I feel so broken inside myself). Why am I crashing out so much right now? Will this get better? This can’t be my new normal I have so many depending on me.

One year ago, it was Friday 17, unlucky day in Italy. Mom had adverstions with chemotherapy, she had a visit with her oncologist, the only oncologist that had said yes to trying chemotherapy in the first place at the stage she was in her sickness since all cures before had ceased to work. She was hard to transport in the car since she had a lot of pain. We even fought in the car while driving to the hospital and I put on headphones like a teenager, I was 27. Dad was driving. We managed to get to the doctors office. Nurses were the kindest there. The oncologist very coldly said that there was nothing to do anymore except waiting. We were hopeless. We sat in the hospital cafeteria and me and my dad cried and she conforted us. She was the one comforting me when she was the one with the death sentence. I got to a toy gumball machine nearby and a toy of a capybara mom with a capybara baby fell from it. I told her "this is us" and the toy has been hanged on her bed from that moment until she passed away, 5 February 2026. I spent two days in the garden chopping wood and cutting down trees. Things went rapidly downhill from there on. I remember her waking up from nightmares that very night screaming that she didn't want to die.

I can't believe this happened still. I haven't cried in days now, but this just makes me feel like day 1 all over again. I feel guilty I haven't gone to the cemetery in months to see her but it's so hard and it completely ruins my day to do that. I have to go to work still I can't cry all day. I tell myself that it's ok, cause if theres a place she was most attached to that was her home. I miss my mom so much.

Lost my Dad yesterday morning, he fought as long as he could. He chose MAID. My heart breaks that he's gone but I have to keep reminding myself that he's not in pain anymore 😞. I will always love you and miss you Dad. Xo

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this, maybe I just need to get it out somewhere, and I’d like to hear from people who’ve been through something similar.

In the last two years of elementary school (where I live, elementary school goes until about age 15, then you move on to high school), a new guy joined our class. He quickly became one of my best friends. We went to the movies together, spent hours and hours playing PlayStation online, and talked endlessly about Star Wars.

After school we each went to study in a different city. He was still a close friend, we just didn’t see each other much anymore. We’d text now and then and wish each other happy birthday every year, but the last time we actually met was before COVID.

Looking back, I realize how fast time goes and how blinded I was by everything happening in my own life. After school everyone is figuring themselves out, with work, new relationships, and maybe forgets about what they had. I never forgot him. I thought about him from time to time and I believe he thought about me too. We just never got around to meeting up. I always knew we were still good friends and that one day we’d meet again and pick up where we left off. It just never got that one actual step. My head was busy with everyday things and kept pushing it to “someday.”

At some point he stopped replying. His PlayStation profile said “last online over a year ago.” I figured he’d deleted Facebook and stopped gaming. I didn’t think anything of it. Lately I’d been thinking about him more and wanted to reach out and finally meet up again.

Then I noticed a birthday message on his profile from his dad, and something about it felt off. That’s how I found out he died almost three years ago. He was 21. It was a rare cancer.

Our last conversation was on PlayStation. I saw he was playing Spider-Man and sent him a message saying it was cool he was playing it. He replied that it was a great game. I read it and didn’t write back. Now I know that was three months before he died, at a time when he already knew he was very sick. Why didn’t he tell me? I think I understand, he was the kind of person who didn’t want to burden anyone. But why didn’t I reply? If we’d gotten into a longer conversation, would he have told me? I believe he would. Then we would have met for sure, and I could have spent some of his last moments by his side. I think I’ll blame myself for this for the rest of my life. Did I let him down?

For three years I thought he was out there living his life. Now I keep going back through those years in my head: where I was, what I was doing, all while he was already gone.

I wrote to his dad. He replied so kindly, said his son was a fighter and thanked me for remembering him. Today I visited his grave. There are LEGO Star Wars sets on it, which honestly got me. I talked to him, apologized, told him about my life, and promised I’d come back. Strangely I didn’t feel as much as I expected while standing there. The hardest moments have been at night.

Has anyone else found out about a death long after it happened? How did you deal with the delayed shock and the guilt? And did the numbness at the grave happen to you too?

Thanks for reading.

its me again, posted here 2 days ago. Im a very masculine teen girl, I love my games, I have a PlayStation and xbox, both which my dad gave me.

I've had them for a while now, my dad got me into call of duty when I was 9 (im now 13, 14 in 8/7 days but no one needs to know im playing under 18. This stays between us🤫)

but ive made the decision to remove any ties he has to the PlayStation because of his recent passing. Its really hard on me, especially knowing he loved his gaming and his silly technology. I get his pc soon (he built it himself!) And his computer, as well as his xbox because its a series above mine.

Idk. I cant help but feel guilty for changing what he loved so much. I deleted the themes for his favourite games, im about to change his name too. I miss my dad.

Ok. So hi everyone. So this is raw and probably wont paint me in a good light. Ok so backstory:

Im 22F. I still live at home with my parents who have been married for over 25 years.
My dad is…he’s had a hard life personally. Grew up in the 70s, undiagnosed dyslexia, put into “the thick” classrooms and called stupid by teachers. His dad was verbally abusive. And this has manifested to him now being 53 and since i was a teenager, having no self worth. He is diagnosed depression and anxiety, he had anxiety induced seizures (used to be 10 times a day as a kid but once he got a diagnosis and other changes in life, i can’t remember the last time i saw him have one); multiple medical issues etc etc.

When i was 15, i got home from school. My mum was alone and sat me down. He worked in a shop at the time. Was seen on CCTV leaving mid shift after clearing the painkiller section. My mum found the open pills in a nearby field. He was eventually found, stomach pumped, survived. He claimed he did it, “because i love you so much and i fail you”. I was upset but i was angry. I didnt wanna see him that night but i did. The next couple weeks, we had the crisis team, he claimed “im glad im alive”.

2 days before my 20th, he had a job interview, it went wrong so the self pity started. “Im a failure. Im stupid. Im good for nothing. You’d be better off without me. Youd be fine i promise”. He fell out with me because for the first time i spoke up and told him to get help (after his attempt he went to therapy and then abruptly stopped, “its stupid it doesn’t work”. We dont know what happened or why). I had to make him pinky promise he wouldnt do anything.

Eventually he got a new job, was actually coming home happy. Then it got hard. Colleague drama. Then last week happened. I dont know the full extent but hit rock bottom again. The self pity. My mum texted him to remind him to book time off for a holiday next year, he replied “ill be honest i wont be here next year. I dont just mean work”. He didnt talk to me for 6 days. I stayed out of it but i think he was ashamed. Then had 2 days where we were good again. He has a job interview next week and was even considering not going and just not letting the colleague drama affect him (they basically called him lazy which is far from true, theyre just jealous he got a better role,but then the self pity comes into play again).

Then yesterday. He came home. Has quit his job. Didn’t tell us. Just handed his 4 weeks in. Told my mum she’d be better with him gone, he’s a failure and he’ll move out if she needs. They talked. He went to bed. Went to work today. He came home. And i eavesdropped.

Essentially telling my mum he doesn’t wanna keep hurting her and he is, that he wants to die, that he’s a failure and stupid and good for nothing, that we’d be fine and better without him, that she should divorce him. She stated she doesnt want to divorce him but (and i couldnt hear properly so i am assuming bits) i think she gave him a year. Basically claiming i dont want to break this family but i cant do this for another 30 years. She told him if he dies, great he’s dead, me and her will never get over it and will hurt us forever. He was sobbing.

She told him to look into neurodiversity (he is the poster child for ADHD/autism but again, 70s being told youre thick, he doesnt understand it so he doesnt believe he has it…that its an “excuse” and “some people are just stupid”. I think i have undiagnosed adhd, he just jokes im lazy. He just doesnt understand but doesnt care to understand because he views it as another thing wrong with him). She also told him to get help etc.

Now my title. When i hear stories of suicide. Im empathetic. I am GENUINELY a very understanding and empathetic person, because ive been through so much growing up, i can see all sides and sympathise.

I understand someone being in so much pain, they think the world would be better without them. I know they think theyre doing the right thing for everyone. I know they think no one cares. I know its selfish to stop someone by making them feel guilty by saying “but how would i feel?”. I know its a disease and i know they cant help it and they are in so much pain. I know. If its anyone else, i hope they get help and if its too late i hope they rest in peace finally.

But. Having first hand experience. As an only child. I am angry. I am selfish. Im hurting. Im furious. I hate him for what he’s doing to me. He is in pain i know, but he wants to kill my dad. He is wants to deprive me of a future with him. He wants to never see me get married. He never wants to meet my kids. Never wants to meet my husband. He wants to make my mum a widow. He wants to leave us with his mess. He wants to die and give his pain to us. He wants to put us through more trauma, especially my mum. He wants to break this family apart, whether that’s by divorce or suicide and it will happen if he doesnt get help, and im not convinced even if he does, that he wont kill himself. I dont believe, and havent for 8 years, that he wont do it. I think he will. I cant see him living another 15 years. I wish i could NOT be selfish, i wish i could understand but its my dad. I need my dad.

Everyday im scared when the front door shuts. When he’s home alone. When he goes to work. When he goes on a walk. Im scared one day my family will be seperated. Im scared one day ill have 2 homes, or a door that never opens, and i know if divorce happens and he’s alone and im not at his, its over. Im living constantly with this weird, almost anticipatory grief. Ive had multiple deaths in the family from cancer. Its similar in a way, just more angry. I know their deaths were coming but i didn’t know when. With my dad, it sounds awful, and i DO believe suicidal people can get help (hence why i so strongly want him to) but i think with him, its almost inevitable. I just don’t know when. He’s dying from a mental illness opposed to a physical.

It’s selfish and wrong and i know that. Its about the suicidal person and how dare i make it about me. But im just a 22 year old that needs her dad and he could deprive me of that… and i dont know how to help. I dont think i can help. We’ve tried but ultimately its up to him. We havent spoken today. Probably wont for another week. It’s so awkward in the house. Everyone knowing somethings wrong but nothing to say. Me and my mum are fine but insee her, alone in the day happy, walking on egg shells trying to be normal in the evening. Our relationship is a broken mess. And i try and brush it off and say “whatever happens happens, im not living my life in fear”… but thats a lie. Im terrified and im fucking furious.

I guess im writing this to vent of course, but also i do think there needs to be a bigger discussion (alongside the discussion of suicide and those suffering) about the others. The ones left behind. The ones dealing with the suicidal person. The emotional torment, the fear, the anger, the hopelessness. Not to overshadow the main issue, but just a small conversation highlighting the pain others go through. I couldn’t find anyone talking about it. The phrase about thinking of others i understand is selfish and bad taste for the suicidal person to hear, but i do think there is some truth that we as a society dont think we should acknowledge because yes, someone wants to willingly die and take their life and that takes priority absolutely.

But before that happens, and during the fallout and aftermath, we need to acknowledge the pain the ones who love the person suffering is going through. We acknowledge it when someone has a terminal illness, how hard it is on the family. Its something else entirely hearing your dad say “i want to kill myself because youd be better without me”.

Again, just to round up, i AM sympathetic and i know im being a selfish bitch. But i need my dad. I dont want bury my dad in my twenties. And i think that should be okay to be angry and selfish at.

I lost my mom recently and it’s so hard, almost 2 months every single day I remember her and I Cannt so my work properly