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I'm millennial. My dad was a boomer but he didn't hit me. He made me do laborers and chores that were very physically active for a long periods of time like my grandfather did him
My grandfather was a farmer and one of his best punishments was is he would say oh you have enough energy to screw around. You have enough energy to get up before Dawn with me and go till a field or plant it And then you still had to go to school.
I'm a millennial. My daddy is a boomer, never hit me. My momma is a Gen Xer, and she would do the same thing sort of. She would make us plank or do crunches until failure and THEN beat us with shoes or a wooden spoon until we kept going with that mentality of "if you have enough energy to misbehave you have enough energy to keep working out."
I have a strong relationship with my dad. Never hit me, raised his voice. He'd still scare the shit out of me with his "talks," when I messed up, but those were always learning experiences for both of us.
He was the best kind of coach, and brought that energy home. And he gets calls from me, memes sent from me, we go to concerts, random "I love you, dude." Has taken the best care of my mom. Never fell into the trope of an awkwardly aggressive, or passively non-present father.
A little envious here, but genuinely glad you grew up that way. I wish everyone did. Your pop was making the world a better place by raising you right.
It's interesting how rapidly parenting has been changing over the past 100 years. Each new generation of parents has a different style.
But did parenting change that much during, say, the Industrial Age, the Renaissance, the Middle Ages, or other time periods of the distant past? Were there thousands of uninterrupted years when kids got whooped like Baby Boomers were?
I'm thinking of the eras during which children were used as farm or other trade labor, or how during the Industrial Revolution parents sent their kids to work in mines and factories where they got injured, maimed, or even killed. And that wasn't punishment, that was their default life. Getting your Playstation taken away for a few days really isn't bad by comparison.
It’s hard for modern people to comprehend because starting with the Industrial Revolution (and speeding up faster every day)we are used to rapid paces of change, but pre-industrial Revolution, you could go thousands of years with very little change at all to daily life, customs, parenting, etc
Read the book Generations by Dr. Jean Twenge. She’s explains how in the 60s there was a big shift away from traditional collectivism towards individualism. Individualism started being taught by Baby Boomers to their Millennial children.
The other thing to consider is how many kids said they would not be the way their parents was growing up, then turn into the same child beating monsters anyway.
We still had the cane for the first couple of years I was in school. I remember getting canned as a 6yo because on lunch break a teacher thought they heard someone swear (we didn't even know swear words at that age). So all 4 of us got canned because we didn't admit to it.
At least half of core millennials where getting the belt. Even just as much a thr boomer generation. Only difference is it was for bad grades or acting stupid. You didnt have kids being beat for saying "fuck" like something out of a "Christmas Carroll".
Same. And I’ve absolutely told my kids, “I want to woop your ass right now. When I was a kid, that’s how your grandparents would have responded to what you just did, but I don’t think that shit’s right, so (consequence). Don’t push your luck and make me change my mind.”
I thought that was what this was saying. Millennials didn't have ps5s as kids, we were either raised by boomers or gen x.
I thought the meme was about how each generation raises kids. Like boomers and gen x beat ass millenials threaten to take shit or take shit and gen z do whatever that is. Because older gen z are almost 30 already
My Gen X parents are pretty chill. They'd punish me by taking stuff away from me, or making me do extra chores. The only physical punishment I ever received was my mom slapping me after I called my dad a dick. And honestly? I deserved that.
I have a similar experience. I feel like all the times I received a physical punishment were absolutely warranted and as a result I don't blame my mom or dad at all. They did their best to raise 4 kids and I absolutely get snapping in the moment
Same, my mom is a "young" boomber and was beat pretty bad by her dad. She stopped hitting us once we turned four. My dad was a drunk and abusive/toxic. I'm a millennial with a 3-year-old and my wife is pregnant with her with our second. I have never hit my child but I do take shit away. I have cleared out his whole bedroom of stuff he could play with because he kept hitting us. He stopped, now the threat of taking stuff away gets him to correct his behavior. We do lots of timeouts and talks. Imo he's turning into a caring and compassionate little human which is our goal
1980 here. My mother used to flick us on the forehead. It was more insulting than anything. Especially if she did it in front of my friends. Devastating lol. My old man only choked me out once. Lifted me clean off the floor from my neck. That was pretty scary.
But that’s the point? If you’re born in 86 then your parents are boomers and thus the first clip is what you endured. The meme is showing how those generations are as PARENTS, not how YOU born in those generations had parents.
I don't think so. I was raised and whooped by boomers. I am an elder millennial. The thought of striking a child as punishment is instantly nauseating to me.
So the boomers coming out swinging and the millennials promising not to treat their kids like they were treated makes sense to me.
I broke one of my mums favourite wooden spoons when she smacked me on the ass with it, I remember feeling a immense sense of victory about the situation.
Im 34 and I got my ass whooped every night almost. Belt, switch, extension cord, telephone cord, wooden spoon a random stick. Pretty much anything in reach if nothing was i got punched and slapped.
As a gen x I just wanted to say, I'm sorry dude. No generation should do that to anyone. All I can hope is that you don't pass that shit on. One ass whooping is bad, let it stop there.
Whenever we went out and either i didnt listen or i asked for something i would get in the car they would park by the dumpster or the way back in the parking lot pop the trunk couple whacks then off we went home.
I heard if you don't discipline your kids the world will do it for you and the world is harsher because they have no love for your kids. So far I have not seen this proven wrong. Discipline should be discipline though, not abuse.
Edit: You can discipline your kids through a stern talking to, cutting off allowances, grounding, allowing more chores or whatever is apt. discipline should be discipline though, not abuse.
It's a balancing act, but almost every study under the sun says that at "best" you solve the problem at home but you don't actually address the root cause when you hit your child.
I am not here to parent other children's kids (they are all unique, households are unique, and lifestyle is unique so what works for one person doesn't fully work for the other) I have tried it as a parent myself it "kinda" works but usually what happens is that when he (my son) isn't near myself or his Mom he reverts to being a little shit.
What "actually" works is a mixture of telling them in detail why they have to behave, the consequences of what happens when they don't, and the action of you ensuring that those consequences are established in a manner that's not abusive to the child (for my own kid that's basically timeout in his room for a few minutes, limited TV time for the day, limited game time or the removal of it for the week, etc.) and then when they do behave... reward reward reward; don't punish when they do the right thing even if it's only been a few minutes/hours/days you have to teach them and it takes weeks to get it right.
I think a lot of times kids are hit just for the quick fix, it stops the problem temporarily now and then, and over the course of time it hides it from you so it appears resolved but it never actually does get resolved until they are much older and someone outside "actually" explains why what they are doing is wrong.
That’s actually a misconception. You can do everything right and still get railroaded the world is harsh and unfair. The notion that you can protect your kids by beating them is asinine. All you’re just doing is inviting domestic violence and an unsafe environment in to your home. People have been locked up despite being innocent. Shot for following police instruction and so on. Beating your kids isn’t going to help them avoid arbitrary sentences, harassment, or police violence
The vast majority of people who spank or hit their kids do it because they’re angry in the moment. I’ve never seen anyone coolly and thoughtfully apply corporal punishment to their children.
My brother does, I’m not sure he’s wrong sometimes
Edit: I think the reason the vast majority you’ve seen are angry in the moment is because the ones who do it coolly and calmly are also doing it privately.
Its kind of interesting because you would think popular TV shows back in the 50s and 60s would have depictions of a child getting spanked. I thought for certain Andy Griffith spanked Opie at one point but he never did(at least they never showed it). Instead almost every show involving children relied heavily on teaching morals and showing the consequences of the childs actions.
There is a moment where Opie kills a bird with a slingshot. Andy is upset but, instead of hitting Opie, decides to open the window and show him the consequences of what he did. The baby birds are calling out for their dead mother....
Sister in law bear the fuck out of her kids and they're all successful. I tried to be kind and my kids are mid. Although we have much better relationships.
From my experience (and anecdotal evidence) the abuse leaves you with a hole from feeling like you are unwanted/unloved.
As a child some can rationalize it away by saying 'if I was X they would love me'. And if the parents stressors where about money, I can see how the kids response will be 'i need money to be loved'. So I can see how it can create an environment where a child has deep drive to succeed.
Alternatively, kids might just go, 'im not loveable' or not build the drive. In which case the hole is still there, and still hurts, so you try and mask it with... something.
The end result is adults who aren't complete until they build it for themselves.
I often feel the billionaires of the world are like the first example, sad on the inside because they didn't get enough love, but stupid and rich in the outside while they try and fill the hole. They still suck though.
They still have time. Their cousins are all doing all of the "right things" valedictorian and such. Mine are chill. Mid is probably harsh. Just life goals that are their own instead what what they are " supposed " to do.
Hitting taught me to trade pain to get my needs met.
“This looks like a ten-spank job, I’m going to need an assistant, I can only carry 3 cookies and 1 cup of water at a time. If mom or dad wake up, nobody knows anything about it but me and whoever comes with me.”
My parents thought kids could live on a cup of yogurt and a piece of cheese for dinner and were always baffled and furious about how often we stole water and whatever we could carry back upstairs after midnight. There were more than 10 of us eventually. We were very hungry caterpillars.
Hitting your kids doesn't really teach them to be good people though. It teaches them to be sneaky and that violence solves problems. Just because your parents hit you and you turned out "fine" doesn't mean it actually helped you in the long run.
Well shit, aint this a truth nuke. I went to therapy with my wife for family therapy, but my biggest revelations came when she couldn't make it and I had to talk to the doc alone. One session put my whole world on its head. Got on some medication and became a much much better parent.
As a Gen Xer being beaten by a boomer. I remember the belt swinging so hard and high that my parent broke the lightbulb above me and shards came crashing down on top of me and they still kept beating.
The boomers may have had a bunch of societal and economic advantages over the years but clearly they grew up in a world with really messed up parents. I’m 53 now and still fucked up by my boomer parents.
I know of plenty of boomer parents that never laid a hand on their kids and I've seen with my own eyes very young parents hitting their kids in public. Usually when you whoop a kid, the parent has failed badly somewhere along the line. a lot of people aren't ready to be parents, and some people should never be parents but are anyways.
I have experienced every ass whopping, such as belt, slippers, wooden baton, cane stick, squatting and holding book, hangers and lastly, my most hated punishment, pulling my sideburn. This pulling hair hurts than any of those ass whopping materials.
Take away phone, internet and friend access and force them to read a book or study. Being grounded and correctly behavior is pivotal in preventing disobedience.
You know, when I was a kid, late 70's early 80, I was busted with a buddy of mine stealing ice cream. His mom caught us and she beat both of us and dragged us back to the store to apologize and had the shop keeper put us on a work program to work off the icream value sweeping and mopping.
We also got hit by our teachers at school for different reasons.
I can't imagine nowadays my son's friends parent hitting him for misbehaving and goodness if there was a teacher at school hitting kids... It's something I never really thought about but really is a different time 45 years later
Growing up, I definitely got spanked. No. I got abused and my mom said it was "proper discipline". Woman tortured my siblings and I. Once she choked me out and punched me over and over cause my puppy chewed these stripper shoes that she never wore.
But know what...I definitely am the parent who just takes the kids "PlayStation" away 😂😅
Millennial here and I got spanked with a belt, grounded to my room with everything taken away, and mouth washed out with soap. I didn’t spank my kids who are Gen Z but if they talked to me like that I would have. My Gen Z kids are kind and respectful. My 16 year old son says please, thank you, sir, ma’am, etc. Don’t act like all Gen Z are terrible and raised wrong and don’t pretend like beating little kids is ok please.
In my mind, spankings should be reserved for correcting a continuous series of bad behavior/attitude.
The "every day" smacks that people talk about and might've even experienced? Now that's wrong. But there's the difference. One is sporadic and done with reason. One is constant and without reason. The later is what I call disgusting behavior from parents.
I used to think that way. Reflected on it, it’s cause my parents put this idea in my brain that hitting was for bad things. I don’t even have kids nor will I, but I can tell you that hitting a child for discipline just seems archaic now. You’re instilling a sense of fear of victimization into your children for fear of upsetting their parents. That’s not teaching children a lesson or leading to them to be morally better, that’s just some prison type shit. Idk what the best way to parent a child is, but I know is not with physical violence. And I know that bc I lived it.
Corporal punishment is ineffective and a lazy cop out for parents that don't want to explain complicated dynamics when making assertions with their kids. People either overcompensate with aggression or undercompensate with passivity because assertion with explanation requires the most effort.
Bullshit. Only reason I didn’t fuck around in school was because I feared my dad. He didn’t beat me, but I always knew it was a possibility. My older brother fucked around, and I saw what my dad did to him. I didn’t want any part of that.
There is a difference between discipline and beaten
Spanking is not permanent but it associates bad behavior with accountability and immediate consequences. And they learn and it rarely happens again, they listen to you and will respect your authority when you tell don’t run away from me in a busy mall, or they might get a spanking, because we dont want them to get kidnapped.
Kids who are not disciplined correctly, become unruly adults that will be disciplined by society and their life choices if you don’t do it when their young
They become entitled brats who think they can get away with anything they want because they don’t fear of any repercussions.
I grew up in the 90’s and I still have my dad’s handprints on my ass. I don’t know what this taking away the PlayStation shit is.
My aunt- Belt or shoe
My other aunt- belt
My grandmother- belt
My grandfather- Hand 🤚
My dad- Hand 🤚
My mother- paddle or wooden spoon.
This kid on my sons baseball team must have gen-z parents because I legit hear this little mf talk to his mom just like that lmao and one time I said something to this kid and she, the mom, yelled at me! I couldn’t believe it.
I deserve every "beatin" (belt to ass.) . My brother(8) and I (4) tore apart the lawnmower, parts, bolts, springs... that was a gauntlet of ass whoppin'
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