r/AskReddit • u/Logical-Barnacle9638 • 4h ago
What's an incredibly petty reason you would refuse to date someone, even if everything else about them was perfect?
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u/Different-Pin-9234 3h ago
He wore jeans that had the shade of blue color I hated most in jeans. Total turn off and I just couldn’t unsee it since.
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u/Odd-Passion1381 1h ago
I feel like I know exactly what color you’re talking about and I hate it too. 🤣
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u/Candid_Following_265 2h ago
what shade then?
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 4h ago
A long beard. I've seen a guy eating soup and the soup dripping INTO the beard. Since then i am traumatized
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u/lopsiness 3h ago
Im a man with decent facial hair, but i hate long beards. Medium length is too long. Its like something is always in your beard. Feel unhygienic. I also notice a lot of guys who grow long beards dont seem to have the genetics for good facial hair snd dont seem to know how to maintain it. Just looks like scraggly pubes, not like some Nordic lumberjack.
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u/QoldBruu 4h ago
One time I broke up with a guy bc he had a habit of swishing soda pop around in his mouth before swallowing. I found that repulsive.
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u/octopusgardens87 3h ago
This reminds me of the Black Mirror episode, Hang the DJ, where one of the dates paired up with the female lead annoys the hell out of her because every time he takes a sip of any beverage he smacks his lips and says “AHHH” right after. This is up there with that 😂
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u/MzHellfier 3h ago
That’s so weird, why would he do that? Gotta be terrible for your teeth too. I think you did the right thing.
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u/Simply-bert 4h ago
If they talk too loudly. I can't stand people with big booming voices who seemingly don't know appropriate volume levels when out and about
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u/GreatStuffOnly 3h ago
lol you described me. I have trouble with this all my life.
Whenever I get excited, my voice will gradually go on a crescendo. Can’t seem to fix it. And if SO tells me that I’m speaking too loud in public, I’d react immediately but I don’t know it myself.
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u/my_memory_is_trash 4h ago
Sometimes it not about knowing what levels are appropriate its genuinely just not being able to hear or recognize what volume theyre speaking
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u/SaltySweetSt 4h ago
The why doesn’t necessarily matter. It’s almost worse if they physically lack the ability to do so because that means it’s an irritation you just have to live with.
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u/Helllo-Kittyy 3h ago
This was something that drove me insane by the time my marriage ended. My ex husband would be talking at what he thought was a normal volume, and he would essentially be yelling in my ear
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u/Upbeat-Control-9278 3h ago
the worst part is they never think THEY'RE the loud one
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u/Excellent-Parking505 4h ago
Apparently people did not understand the question. Petty is key. Petty is she puts mayonnaise on her fries.
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u/NuclearMaterial 3h ago
People never read the full question on reddit
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u/shinygoldhelmet 2h ago
They probably do, but reading comprehension is at an all time low while bot activity is probably at an all time high. And even without bots, people will comment things they know get lots of upvotes on reddit even if it doesn't fit the question simply because they're pandering.
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u/imbillionyocarbon 4h ago
Poor spelling
I feel terribly shallow for this but I AM an editor so…
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u/MzHellfier 3h ago
This was always a huge pet peeve of mine! Joke’s on me though because my best friend and my partner are both dyslexic 😭 I can’t be too annoyed by it because it’s a legit disability, but neither of them can spell worth a shit. Send help!
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u/0011010100110011 3h ago
I can absolutely understand this. I was a straight A student in language arts of all types. I love writing and even with my own writing I am so critical.
However, I dated this guy that I adored. Truly wonderful in so many ways, but I was young and at the time perhaps a little pretentious. I remember when I broke up with him thinking that his writing style was one of the reasons.
We recently reconnected (ten years later) and I remember thinking to myself before texting him… “ I really hope that he still, at least somewhat, writes the same way.”
Mostly because it was genuine, and it was just so true to how I knew him as a person. Also, I never question if he’s using AI or chat or whatever, because his errors consist of the types of things AI seeks to fix. They’re so silly but I genuinely find them incredibly endearing.
Sorry to go off on a little tangent there. Just a similar type of reaction with an unexpected turn.
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u/2KneeCaps1Lion 3h ago
I’m not an editor but I’m like this, too. It’s one thing if they accidentally use the wrong “there/their/they’re” on occasion, but if it’s consistent, I’m out. If they use a lot of those weird abbreviations (lmk, omw, idk, etc) or an intense amount of emojis, no thanks.
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u/Paradox_D 3h ago
So do you give them a spelling bee on your first date to weed them out quick
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u/Nacho_7258 3h ago
I’ve actually rejected a guy because we talked about movies and he told me that he usually watches YouTube breakdowns instead of the movies themselves.
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u/mariposa-princess 4h ago
They say things wrong. Like someone who says “expecially” instead of especially.
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u/TheRealRacketear 4h ago
I pacifically asked for expresso.
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u/Narrow_Possession348 3h ago
You mean, "I pacifically *axed* for expresso"! To take to the libarry.
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u/sweatymess 4h ago
Expresso
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u/mariposa-princess 4h ago
Don’t LET anyone say “li-bary” instead of library around me
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u/weirdgroovynerd 3h ago
Why?
Will it make you cry and leave you all...
...Dewey-eyed?!
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u/RoastPork2017 3h ago
I used to say that when my now wife introduced me to them. She made fun of me. Now often I say it that way on purpose just annoy her lol
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u/Chaotic_Paradox-530 4h ago
My ex husband often said “afixiated”, instead of “fixated” and would quadruple down that he was correct.
I’m an English Language Arts major, and the amount of times I’d have to get into linguistic debate over it with him, I eventually stopped, let him look stupid, and cackled when colleagues of mine would, in unison, correct him.
After that, he refused to be around them.
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u/Sullex_88 2h ago
I'm sure he'd tell you "irregardless" of your education you're wrong
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u/rcayca 4h ago
Sangwich
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u/sabdariffa 2h ago
I had a coworker who would say “generic” instead of “genetic”. It drove me CRAZY.
We worked in disability services and assistance assessment… so it came up really common. Like, he would constantly say that the cause of the client’s condition was “generic” instead of accidental. 🤦♀️
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u/lopsiness 3h ago
I dated a girl like this and it grated on me real hard toward the end. She'd also stop me during every story or explanation to ask what a word meant. Makes sense if im using industry jargon or whatever, but eventually being stopped to define what I thought were high school vocabulary words it got tiresome.
She also showed up wearing glasses frames with no lenses and I just couldn't.
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u/TheKnittingBitch23 4h ago
"Li-barry" instead of "library." That one drives me insane.
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u/Downbreak_ 4h ago
We were ordering wings and she said “all drums, I don’t like the flaps” I thought I misheard and I’m
Like “oh I prefer all flats” and she says “I don’t like flaps it’s a lot of work” and I was like uh it’s flats and she starts laughing and I’m like I’m serious and she’s like “it’s flaps because it’s a chicken wing” proceeds to do bent arm wing movements and I’m like i cant. Then she was like it’s PET SMART not PET’S MART. I just…just cant.9
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u/heartbreakuncut 2h ago
she sounds like a funny good time 🤷🏻♀️ i’m gonna start calling the flat wings flaps now bc i kinda love that description lol
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u/Mrs_steaks 4h ago
Friend I’m sorry to stay she’s right. It is “pet smart”
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u/MzHellfier 3h ago
I always thought it was meant to be a play on words, like it could be read as “pet smart” or “pets mart” and that was the whole point?
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u/chmedly020 4h ago
Never heard of anything in chicken called "flats". But I think "flaps" is a rather clever way of talking about the wings. The animal companion store is indeed named PetSmart. So, I'm just confused all around.
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u/Possible-Compote-733 4h ago
Using AI chatbots to make personal decisions, I just can't.
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u/Ogeron 3h ago
Reminds me of this BORU post I saw recently where this person's ex used an AI jury to prove themselves right in an argument.
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u/T1mco 4h ago
chewing too loud or with their mouth open or with that smacking noise. I have misophonia so eventually this would end in a crime that would put me away for 25 to life
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u/lopsiness 3h ago
Same here. I'd met some other great catch type women and when they eat...my god. There are some friends in our circles who are siblings and have extended family who are often at get togethers. It runs in the family. I'd be dead.
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u/dark_sky_island 4h ago
Gluten allergy. I like to bake! A peanut allergy may also be a dealbreaker. I don’t want to spend my life paranoid.
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u/NK1337 3h ago
I dated someone like that once and it was fine until they started expecting me to change everting to cater to them. And it’s not like I wasn’t trying to be as considerate and accommodating as I could. But one day they were over and picked up a box of zebra cakes asking me why I has those since they couldn’t eat them. I thought they were joking around so I just told them “yea, I know. That’s why I bought them for myself.”
Became into a huge thing and apparently they were expecting me to completely change my lifestyle in favor of theirs. As in I wasn’t even allowed to enjoy small things for myself if they couldn’t too.
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u/TobylovesPam 4h ago
I dumped a guy because he didn't like onions. I love to cook, I love good food. Sorry dude, I can't live without onions.
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u/unnaturallysarcastic 3h ago
Now this comment is what this thread is about even if it makes me mad as a person with food aversions 😂 thankfully my boyfriend can tolerate my dislike for certain cooking styles of onions
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u/ElLoafe 3h ago
Ngl my ex couldn’t taste cilantro like normal people. Tasted like soap. When we broke up I was much happier my current partner could eat it no problem. Lol
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u/northrupthebandgeek 3h ago
I apparently have the cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene, but I love the taste of cilantro, which makes me suspect I might like the taste of soap.
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u/kehfydue 4h ago
She's got the same name as my mom/sister
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u/Sad-Squirrel 4h ago edited 3h ago
This, anybody with a name matching my immediate family is immediately no longer a potential interest
Edit: spelling
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u/Tomasz_Kowalski_ 4h ago
When they always loud. Like why do you have to be like that. A little quietness never hurt nobody.
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u/AveryZW 4h ago
If they have the same name as any of the people I hate 😅 (various abusers and creeps I've dealt with in my life)
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u/AlliCakes 2h ago
Same! I will not date a Brian or a Stephen.
I did give a Brian a chance recently and it only reinforced my bias.
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u/Flixx_818 3h ago
They refuse to wear shoes in public. Told me “my feet deserve to be free the ground being dirty is a lie by society”. Like huh ok
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u/lovelycosmos 1h ago
I declined a second date because he refused to wear his seatbelt.
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u/LegalizeFentanol 4h ago
I once broke up with a girl because she didn't use her turn signal while turning out of a parking lot into the street.
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u/ThinasAPencil 3h ago
I was driving while on a trip with my cousins. They literally called me gay when I used the signal while making a turn.
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u/MzHellfier 3h ago
What the hell
How would that make you gay21
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u/Lack668 4h ago
Dated a girl who drove with her knees whilst texting
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u/GenericRedditor0405 3h ago
That’s not a petty reason to break up with someone at all. That’s a choice she makes to gamble with herself and other people’s lives on a regular basis.
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u/PatientPoetry4302 3h ago edited 3h ago
This is so petty but… she never used “you’re” correctly, it was always “your”. She has a degree, is in law school and the typos were a no-no. Also insisted on phone calls after my ridiculously long days after I’d made it very clear I’m not big on phone calls, especially aimless ones.
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u/funsizepotato 3h ago
I dont date anyone who plays magic the gathering. Its the only thing my exes have in common. Petty? Yes. But valid? I also think yes. Moot point now because Im married but still.
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u/nonsignifierenon 3h ago
When they can't spell properly... I want to be able to read your messages, not decipher them
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u/thelucky10079 3h ago
punctuality. if i can drive 3 hours and show up on time, and you live 10 minutes away and show up late even though we communicated mid drive. Also my ex wife caused a big portion of my family to think i wasn't punctual because it would literally take her hours to straighten her hair, it ain't getting any straighter bitch. shit would enrage me to the point of taking separate cars.
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u/straightnoturns 1h ago
Fussy eaters are intolerable
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u/refusemouth 1h ago
I broke up with a woman because she couldn't tolerate garlic, onions, or anything spicier than salt. There's no way I am going to cook a special dish with no spices every time I make a meal.
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u/Lenchsoto5214 4h ago
I don’t think it’s petty but “religion” is the answer. lol
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u/CitronTraining2114 4h ago
Add Maga to that list.
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u/Del_3030 3h ago
Being misaligned with someone's values isn't a petty difference, it's raw incompatibility. Especially with those fascism supporters
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u/asukapyresable 4h ago
if someone sends one thought as six separate texts my phone buzzing like a slot machine is enough to end it. just press enter once, i'm begging. bonus dealbreaker: people who ask "who's that?" every five minutes during a movie they chose
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u/sixth_hokage06 4h ago
If we have to pick something absolutely petty, maybe having tattoos.
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u/lazydracula 4h ago
I’ve been watching a lot of 80s movies recently so I’d say if they randomly turned into a mannequin due to an ancient curse
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u/savedby_thebelle 4h ago
won’t try new things whether it’s food, an experience, clothing, etc
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u/ClockworkMeow 4h ago
They don't read for fun &/or they wear khakis. Massive turn offs, instant deal breakers.
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u/sp00ky99 3h ago
Back in 2010s "vintage" was a big style choice. However that mostly ended up with people look like grandparents. I actively struggled with dating someone because they reminded of an old person when I looked at their clothes and couldn't ever shake it
They're happily married etc now. I am not.
Maybe don't be petty.
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u/PainterConscious4532 4h ago
He chewed with his mouth open.
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u/mustbethedragon 4h ago
I had one date with a man who did this. Then he took a bite out of a roll and put it back in the table basket.
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u/Fearless-Hunter1993 4h ago
When someone is always busy on their phone and literally ignores you till they are done doing whatever. I once dated a guy that was obsessed with online chess, he would even play during dinner dates! I will be talking then the next thing he shuts out and ignores me till he is done with the game… then be like “sorry, you were saying something?” 🤣🙄
Total turnoff
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u/uneasy_45 2h ago
Always being negative. I mean literally! You say something, they'll make a joke or talk negatively!!
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u/LiquidPenChamber1019 4h ago
Their name. I can be turned on or off by names. Some names can increase my attraction to a person and some can do the opposite.
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u/Wrong-String4144 4h ago
as extension of this, if a guy has an unfortunate surname, especially if we want to have kids. e.g. if your last name is wiener or cox i am not subjecting myself nor my progeny to that
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u/jittery_raccoon 4h ago
Their voice. I couldn't stand listening to an annoying voice forever. And it just kills all sexual attraction
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u/MarsupialNo1220 3h ago
They over-explain when they have an excuse/can’t do something.
I don’t really know how to describe it. But it’s kind of like “hey, sorry! Something came up and I can’t make it. Can we reschedule?” vs. “omg, I’m soooo sorry. I had to go get my kid from kindy and then my car was making a funny noise so I’m going to have to get that to a mechanic tomorrow. I’m really sorry I couldn’t make it, I really wanted to be there. We can maybe do it Tuesday or Wednesday depending on how fast my car gets repaired.”
The first one? Totally cool, they’ll agree on a new time and be there. The second one? They will 100% flake out of the next scheduled thing, too.
It is a very good way to judge how potentially unreliable someone is. Every single person I’ve ever met who over-explains is not someone you can depend on. They also tend to lie more, break promises, and make selfish decisions. Even if they start out showing up, they’ll eventually turn into this person.
I think the reason why they behave that way is because they feel like they need to justify to themselves that being a massive let down is okay. They are their first and/or only priority. They know they might have disappointed someone, so they need to feel good about doing so and not like they might be a source of that disappointment.
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u/TheBigMerc 4h ago
Being too religious. Which, I feel like being too religious in my case likely isn't even all that religious. Like, praying before meals, going to church every sunday, people who genuinely thank god when things go well rather than the people who actually improved the situation...
I get having beliefs. I get needing something to help you get through the rough times. But being non religious, I can't stand when people make it a big deal. Even more so when they start pushing their beliefs onto others.
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u/Such-Problem-4725 3h ago
Not like I would be in this scenario, but I would turn down someone who said they were a professional sports player, an actor, a cop, or in the military. Why? Because there is too great of a chance that they’re either going to cheat or be miserable.
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u/so_heres_the_thing_ 3h ago edited 3h ago
If I don't like the sound of their voice, I can't get past it.
Dated a genuinely awesome human but my feelings stalled when I found myself checking out of conversations because their voice was grating to me.... which, conversely, a less put together person with a voice that just tickles my brain right has me hypnotized in perpetuity. I kind of hate that I've realized this.
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u/Lopsided-Yak8230 4h ago
If she’s a bad driver. Bad drivers usually have little to no self awareness, have bad instincts, and are mentally slow.
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u/thomasrat1 4h ago
One girl that tried dating me. Was the worst driver I had ever seen. They would merge lanes on highways without checking blindspots.
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u/ImpendingBoom110123 4h ago
I dated a chick like that. She would get out of the car and door ding other cars and didn't think it was a big deal.
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u/Chow-House 3h ago
Girl I was dating was pretty bright but used the brakes too much on the freeway instead of coasting. Some people are really mechanically challenged.
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u/wingedwonders4002 2h ago
Thank you for this 😭 like damn not everyone who is bad at driving is plain stupid ok
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u/TheRealRacketear 4h ago
I know a lot of really brilliant people who are shit drivers.
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u/AmbitiousKTN 4h ago
They also hit the curb and act like it wasn’t their fault lol. Oh and they can’t park lmaoo
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u/EJECTED_PUSSY_GUTS 3h ago
If they honestly believe in zodiac/astrology bullshit.
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u/mustbethedragon 4h ago
If they use "I seen." I'm an English teacher, and I don't nitpick grammar otherwise, but that one is just too much.
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u/TheFinestVietNaMe 2h ago
If they were vegan or vegetarian. I can’t do it. I like to bond over the burger. 🍔
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u/LobstahLarry 4h ago
Bad hygiene is a dealbreaker for me.
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u/TsitikEm 2h ago
Happily married now but I once was waiting for a first date and saw him WALKING across the street. I knew from the walk it was over 🤣
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u/sensfan4tic 3h ago
Giving the most general hot take on something with doing very little thinking or even attempting to look further into it.
That or talking about "the big current issue" with all the same parroted phrases and acting morally superior to everyone about it and a downright asshole if they disagree.
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u/MartinLostak9923 4h ago
they chew with their mouth open even a little. they could be perfect otherwise and I'd still be sitting there trying not to watch their food. I'm not dating that sound
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u/Twighdark 3h ago
I can't really think of a truly petty reason that would make me reject an otherwise PERFECT partner.
Closest thing I can think of is just them having lots of hobbies I actively dislike that either take up a lot of space, or that they keep on trying to make me particpate in, even if they mean well.
But that's not really petty, that's just inconsiderate and incompatible.
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u/DunkeyColdMedina 4h ago
I don't see how it can be both incredibly petty in my mind and also grounds for rejecting someone you regard as otherwise perfect. I think in that case I would just get the fuck over myself and chose to be happy.
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u/Perspicatcity 3h ago edited 3h ago
They take MBTI and/or astrology seriously, or are loud. Like, literally loud voice and talk too much. I love lots of thought and texting and walls of text, but noise is something I cannot physically tolerate much of. If I had kids and a spouse, my house would STILL be very quiet.
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u/MissCrow111 3h ago
If they hunt as a sport. Could never be with a person who goes around murdering for fun.
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u/chaingaurd 4h ago
She refused a date because I wore a hi-viz for work.